Alice Part II (The part with my imminent death) (389 hits)
Category: NoneLabels: Alice
Rating: 0.71 on 20 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Beano (View user info) at 2007-03-09 04:20:56 EST
http://www.ubersite.com/m/99518
Link to Part I, last two lines of part one below...
Her heart was worth more than all the abode,
And in the night her graceful visage glowed.
II
A man of rugged handsomeness appeared,
And up the hill he climbed unto the door
"Oh, Alice!" he whispered as he neared
Her beauteous form, "It's Charles," said he more.
"Oh, dearest darling," murmured Alice,
And in her eyes a youthful ardor shone;
Then in a firm embrace their bodies met,
And his lips brushed against her tender own.
An everlasting moment lingered on,
It filled with joy and sorrow all in one;
Their endless happiness might soon be gone,
Their love here on this Earth might soon be done.
For Charles left for war that fateful night;
She wept as he trudged downhill, out of sight.
III
Her tears, soft shining jewels, clung to her cheeks
As in the darkness faded he below
Would it be months, or years, on merely weeks
Until they met again? She'd never know.
Long time she stood; her gaze was interlocked
Between the two tall trees where she last saw
His shadow, and her confidence was rocked
As she pondered his imminent bitter draw.
There is no crushing force so quite like War,
Who, in His fury, snatches life away
The more the men, the overwhelms He more
He draws the light and joy all from the day.
Would Charles be a victim to His whim?
Would Charles never see her, nor her see him?
User Reviews
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2008-07-26 12:36:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
who the fuck is alice?
Submitted by maf54 (user info) at 2008-05-14 05:19:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Just to counter what that idiot Director did to you.
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-05-13 17:30:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2008-05-13 17:30:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Director... you're a tool
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2007-03-12 04:47:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH BRANDON...... BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
Submitted by ballsonurchin (user info) at 2007-03-11 23:25:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
DIE.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2007-03-11 21:43:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
"rugged handsomeness" is a bit much...
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2007-03-10 02:58:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-03-09 19:03:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The last line bugs me, in a way the Bubba would be bugged. Might I humbly suggest:
Would Charles never see her, nor she him?
-----------
You're onto something there...
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-03-09 19:37:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
By the way, I enjoyed it.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-03-09 19:03:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The last line bugs me, in a way the Bubba would be bugged. Might I humbly suggest:
Would Charles never see her, nor she him?
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2007-03-09 18:35:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by DesolateMisanthrope (user info) at 2007-03-09 18:20:11 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
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I know what..... how about 'fuck you you wannabe nigger?'
HAHAHHALOL
You wish you were a nigger you pakistani piece of shit !!
Submitted by DesolateMisanthrope (user info) at 2007-03-09 18:20:11 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
It still sucks. Not to worry, with a few revisions you will be back in no time. Start with ..thee first part of the poem and ... on second thought scrap the whole poem and restart. See? you are already on your way to the perfect poem. Now don't keep me riddled in suspense. I will be awaiting the third installment of this series with an AlllllmOst tangible fervor.
Submitted by zimm0r (user info) at 2007-03-09 12:23:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
!FIRE! !FIRE! !FIRE!
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-03-09 11:23:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Imminent death or no, pretty good stuff.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-03-09 08:50:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2007-03-09 08:07:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-03-09 07:56:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'll read later. I had about 3 minutes to flirt with LittleMonster this morning, and I took advantage of it.
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She's a regular in gabbly.
On there right now in fact...
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-03-09 07:56:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'll read later. I had about 3 minutes to flirt with LittleMonster this morning, and I took advantage of it.
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2007-03-09 07:12:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2007-03-09 05:30:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2007-03-09 05:22:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I dont know how I feel about this
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*stares into Rads eyes*
*waves crytal type object about in circular motion*
"You love it Rad... YOU LOVE IT"
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I do LOVE IT! Yes I do! I Love you too! I want to buy you a cookie! I want to give you everything you want!
Oh look a bridge.
*Jump*
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2007-03-09 05:30:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2007-03-09 05:22:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I dont know how I feel about this
-------------------
*stares into Rads eyes*
*waves crytal type object about in circular motion*
"You love it Rad... YOU LOVE IT"
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2007-03-09 05:22:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I dont know how I feel about this


