I'm a SWM... (460 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -1.23 on 18 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by zimm0r (View user info) at 2007-03-11 17:52:05 EDT
...looking for women to share time with. I'm not looking for sex right away, but that would be nice if you could maybe give me a pity round because I haven't been intimate in almost 5 years. In my last post I said white or black but in all honesty the color of your skin doesn't matter, I just wanted to show that I'm open.
Why date me?
There is no valid or good enough reason to date me. Truth of the matter is that I'm 31 years old and have been fired from my job as a coffee maker at Starbucks. I do enjoy coffee and espresso. Anyway, I can't afford to properly pay for a dating site which is why I'm here on this site pathetically asking for a date. I live in Sacramento but I'd be willing to travel anywhere, you know, if I can panhandle enough money to get there.
My mom who called me "a reject on all accounts of life" took me back in and has housed me after my roommate kicked me out because I couldn't afford the $300/month rent anymore. I don't want your money, women, just to get over this damn curse of a dry spell. I don't know why I'm opening up with you all, but I hope you can accept me here.
Also, if there aren't any women who are interested, perhaps someone can offer me a job. I am a good latte steamer and can get behind the helm of any expresso machine made in the last 20 years, even digital! Also, I'm fairly competent in my computer skills and I am very familiar with WordPerfect, so any word processing documents I'm your guy. I know how to use a calculator too.
Thanks to anyone who is interested. Please just reply below.
Thanks again.
User Reviews
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2007-03-15 18:20:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
OK definitely a fake
Submitted by Abbey (user info) at 2007-03-14 16:26:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I think you should listen to your mom.
Submitted by ChalupaTres (user info) at 2007-03-14 16:15:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Dear diary. You know I can't get a women to talk to me, let alone touch me. So lets see, my browser wont open consumtionjunction sooooooo ill just beseach uber for poon.
FAG!
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2007-03-14 16:09:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Foolproof (user info) at 2007-03-14 15:59:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Foolproof (user info) at 2007-03-14 15:57:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Foolproof (user info) at 2007-03-14 15:57:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Fucking virgins.
-----------------
Military Intelligence.
Southern Gentleman.
Cultured New Yorker.
Fine Australian Wine.
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-03-14 16:06:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You're a NIG
.....GER
Submitted by Foolproof (user info) at 2007-03-14 15:59:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Foolproof (user info) at 2007-03-14 15:57:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Foolproof (user info) at 2007-03-14 15:57:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Fucking virgins.
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2007-03-11 18:48:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
BTW, FTW/SWM made me LOL, ROFLOL.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2007-03-11 18:47:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-03-11 18:36:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Sakes...
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2007-03-11 18:30:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh, you meant single white male!
I meant my initials are SWM.
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2007-03-11 18:24:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by MidnightToSix (user info) at 2007-03-11 18:18:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I'm a whiz with general household appliances as well.
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2007-03-11 18:16:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No way, I'm an SWM, too.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-03-11 18:14:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Just dropped in to say blow me, fuckhead. Bye!
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2007-03-11 18:11:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
If you're going to create an alter, at least try not to make it so transparent.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2007-03-11 18:10:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
nice try at an alter, but this one is way too easy to spot.
Submitted by consuelo212 (user info) at 2007-03-11 18:05:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
best of luck with that.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-03-11 17:57:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
A coffee maker is something I plug in. A barista is a guy I had a crush on and saw in a bar and said waaaay too loudly "THAT'S THE STARBUCKS GUY I HAVE SUCH A CRUSH ON HIM BUT I THINK HE'S MARRIED!" His wife confirmed this by shooting me a dirty look.
So I'm off Starbucks guys for now.