Gray matter (Pt 4) (343 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.66 on 16 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by tiaprae (View user info) at 2007-03-13 12:09:48 EDT
Part 1 - http://www.ubersite.com/m/99170
Part 2 - http://www.ubersite.com/m/99257
Part 3 - http://www.ubersite.com/m/99410
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"That was far more up to par." Anna laughed as she pulled her jeans over her hips.
"Oh well thanks."
"I'm telling you your whole issue was just stress, I mean come on." I hope she doesn't think she's helping.
"Well there was something definitely going on last week." I mean, erectile dysfunction at my age...Well it shouldn't be occurring in any form.
"Think about it, in two weeks you were supposed to fully grasp the fact that there's something scary growing inside your head, of course shit isn't going to work properly, it's amazing you're functioning at all." She tosses a pillow at me and smiles, "Besides, three days after you found out you were uhm...well, you were working perfectly well."
"That was different."
"Was it a fluke then?"
"What? Not exactly..." It was a way to release anger.
"Well granted, it was not nearly as disastrous as last week."
"Last week wasn't disastrous." Christ we still fucked didn't we?
"No, but you know...it wasn't like five minutes ago...I was perfectly able to walk afterwards." She laughed, "I don't know, maybe the fluke was just a way to get out steam. I don't know how you're dealing with all this as it is."
"I don't really know" I really don't. At this point I've just resorted to apathy regarding the whole situation. It seems to work better than caring. "Oh by the way, they set my biopsy date."
She sets down the second pillow she was undoubtedly planning to pelt me with, "Oh?"
"The 23rd."
"That's still two weeks away."
"Yea."
"How long will it take to get the results?"
"A week or two."
"So basically you won't know anything for another month?" What's there to know? Brain tumors are generally bad, especially when the doctors regrettably tell you it's probably not benign. Especially when they tell you it would be impossible to operate.
"Basically."
"Jesus." Her gaze fell onto her hands, holding onto the pillow as if it was going to suddenly disappear if she loosened her grip.
"I just wanted to let you know the date...you know...in case you don't hear from me after that."
"WHAT?" I feel like I can see her thoughts racing. "You really need to-"
"Be less realistic?"
"No but-"
"Because I am being realistic. I mean they're going to drill a nickel size hole in my skull-"
"Damn it, let me finish. You should figure out a way so some one can fucking let me know if something happens to you."
I couldn't hold back the laughter. Not what I expected in the least, maybe that's why I've stuck around this long, I still can't figure her out. That and the blowjobs.
"It doesn't work like that." Who would I call? My mom? I can see that conversation going well: "Hey mom, if you know, I die, could you do me a favor and give this barely-legal chick I'm fucking a call? She's a bit concerned." Christ, I don't even want to deal with that.
"And I suppose I can't sit in the waiting room during the surgery huh?" Why does she care so much?
"Nope."
"Goddamn it."
"And you know it'll be a few days until I'll be able to contact anyone, general anesthesia and all." I can't tell if I'm stressing her out more, but if she's going to be worried about me, then this is something she should realize. She'll be waiting a few days before I'm even able to send a text message. If I'm still able to.
"Christ. How are you dealing with all this? If I were...well I have no idea what I'd do."
"I don't really care."
"...You don't care."
"Only thing I really care about is not ended up retarded. I rather die than deal with that."My life is shit as it is, and I'm not exactly a genius. With have the brain power I have now...well Christ that's a scary thought.
She paused for a moment, reflecting on the idea of my possible retardation, "You mean more retarded right?" A smile peeked as she received a face full of pillow.
"Touché, I'll get you back for that one." She giggled and attempted to launch the pillow at me.
The drugs are killing me. I'm eating non-stop, I feel worse now than before I was on anything. Is that how it's supposed to be? You'd think that the drugs would make you feel better, I preferred just not knowing. "Ignorance is bliss" or whatever.
I don't think I've ever been gassier in my life. I'm forced to escape my room every fifteen minutes just because I can't stand the stink anymore.
"So I'm on my way to pick you up," I looked at the text from Anna. I don't think she has any idea what she's getting herself into. At least I'll be able to do laundry at her place...well her parent's place.
Another vibration, "By the way, I guess my mom is making lasagna, I told her we'd most likely pass on it, but I know you like lasagna, that plus your stomach's recent abyss-like development...Well it's an option if you need more." Christ I shouldn't eat more. I don't want to meet her mom. I suppose it's inevitable at this point anyway-I may as well get some free food out of it.
Sitting in her car I glance over at Anna, "So uhm...just fair warning...these meds are making me fart...a lot, so at some point I may end up clearing out the car."
She looks at me with the utmost seriousness,"You realize there are only two of us in the car. If you 'clear out' the car, then I'm going to have to pull over." I laughed. She smiled a bit, "Are you sure it's the meds? Or are you just using them as an excuse."
"Well I am the king of excuses."
"That you are...that you are."
Fifteen minutes through dinner I realized that I was holding in what had to be the intestinal equivilant of a nuclear holocaust. Shit, I cannot fuck this up too badly-I'd like to keep Anna around for a bit longer.
I've been almost completely silent, holding in the massacre attempting to escape my bowels. And then Anna's mother asks me a question I've only been asked in job interviews, "So Nick, tell us about yourself." I sat their dumbfounded for a moment. Would "I have a brain tumor and I'm fucking your daughter" be enough to appease the mother? Doubtful. My mind draws a blank, all I can focus on is the need to run to the bathroom for just a quick moment.
I notice Anna giving her other sister a look. Cynthia almost automatically breaks the silence, "Mom what kind of question is that? I don't think there's ever been any one who has come to this table who hasn't been asked that." Anna's sister is cute, but a few years younger than Anna, I doubt either would be up for the possibility of a threesome. I'll ask later.
"It's a legitimate question," Anna's mom retorts. I start stabbing at the lasagna on my plate and thinking of what I can possibly say.
"I don't even know how to answer that question," Anna points out.
"Alright, so Nick, you're in the military. Where have you been stationed?"
At least it's a question I can answer, "Here quite a bit, Korea for a year, Iraq for a year."
"Oh how interesting, you know Mason lived in Iran when he was younger." I looked at this "Mason", the quiet old guy who has been sitting at the end of the table for the past twenty minutes observing my misery. I can only assume he's the mom's boyfriend. Why the fuck did he live in Iran?
"It wasn't that bad then." He explains for a moment and then trailed off a bit, hoping the subject would end there. Probably better off that way, dinner just needs to hurry up and be over.
"Isn't Iraq and Iran the same place?" Anna's youngest sister asks. I've already forgotten her name.
Anna and Cynthia burst out laughing. I hold back. No point in angering any family member if I can avoid it.
"How old are you?" Anna asks her sister. I'm fairly sure she knows the answer.
"Shut up. We're just now learning about this stuff."
"Geography?"
"NO! Politics and all that stuff."
"But they don't teach you about geography."
And then the shrill whine that only a preteen can correctly create, "Moooooooooooooooom."
"So anyway..." Anna's mom lets out a small sigh, "There's plenty of lasagna left, Nick?"
I look around. One piece is not enough for the steroid powered hunger. "No one wants it? Are you serious?" I look at Anna, she shakes her head. "Fine then." I take the rest of the lasagna, and put it on my plate. Shit, I wanted to get going. Why am I eating more?
About half way through the grumbling in my colon resurfaces. I watch Anna clear her plate as her mom still talks with me. I can't hear anything she's saying, I can only think about one thing...How bad would it be to let it loose right now? God it would be deadly. I think Anna would kill me.
"Hey, we have to going to the movie, you ready or not?" Anna puts her hand on my shoulder and motions for the door.
"Yea I was just waiting for you."
"I've been standing here waiting for you."
"You're in my way." Anna moves to the side and I thank her mom and quickly follow Anna downstairs.
Anna goes to toss the laundry into the dryer and I waddle over to the other side of the room. I believe I found enlightenment in that corner of the room.
She starts walking over, "So are you-"
"You do NOT want to come any closer." I gave her fair warning, what more can she ask for?
"Christ Nick." She laughs and backs up two steps.
"I was holding it that whole time."
Later that night I'm laying in bed, waiting for her to message me so I know she made it home alive.
A loud beep in my ear. Fuck I forgot to turn down the volume earlier. "You really don't care?" Anna's message in red font appeared on my screen.
"About what?"
"What do you mean about what, about the tumor, about the biopsy?"
"Not really." I believe I have myself fairly convinced, why can't she be?
"How can you not?"
"What am I supposed to do? Suffer? Mope? Self pity?"
"...no..."
"Then what?"
"...I don't know...something. Caring doesn't always mean those things" The screen lay quiet for a moment, "I don't know, like I've said before, there's just no way I can comprehend what you're going through. The few times I've faced my mortality, well they weren't like this...and like I've also said, I'm just going to stick to sex, talking gets me nowhere." I started to type when another message came through, "So just let me know when you want some."
I wonder how much this is affecting her.
Another message pops up, she's changing the subject, "So you know my cats? How they're both girls. Well...They're not...one's a boy...and the other is now pregnant."
"WHAT?" I couldn't help but laugh.
"And they're having sex somewhere in my room....right now..."
At least the cats are happy.
User Reviews
Submitted by tiaprae (user info) at 2007-03-15 11:57:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Not good enough to steal Paul? Pity.
Submitted by paul_anthony (user info) at 2007-03-15 11:34:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
i just.... sorry not gay enough
Submitted by Timmaaaaah (user info) at 2007-03-15 04:37:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wicked stuff madam. Very easy to read.
Arent cats great
Submitted by TimetoDance (user info) at 2007-03-13 19:31:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
For some reason, I really dislike the narrator but I am also starting to care about him.
Well written.
Submitted by mossimo1213 (user info) at 2007-03-13 19:18:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
keep this shit comin
Submitted by tiaprae (user info) at 2007-03-13 15:30:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Alrighty then Drake
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-03-13 14:21:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Tell ya what, honey, just call me Drake. No need for formalities.
Submitted by sweetcheebs (user info) at 2007-03-13 13:42:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
better than the last.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-03-13 13:27:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-03-13 13:23:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by tiaprae (user info) at 2007-03-13 13:05:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Little monster - thanks
Coyote - happy birthday
Sicose & The Drake - I love you guys
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-03-13 12:36:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-03-13 12:26:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It is completely necessary for me to ram a packet of hot chocolate into your vast, gaping, canyon of a hole then fill you with the proper amount of cream to make enough delicious treat for all of uber.
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Unspeakably delicious.
Submitted by Coyote (user info) at 2007-03-13 12:31:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
auto +2 for my birthday
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-03-13 12:26:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It is completely necessary for me to ram a packet of hot chocolate into your vast, gaping, canyon of a hole then fill you with the proper amount of cream to make enough delicious treat for all of uber.
Submitted by Hilarity_Ensues (user info) at 2007-03-13 12:23:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2007-03-13 12:19:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This keeps getting better.
Your writing is fantastic