'Tardstrength revisited (662 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.79 on 21 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by GoneFiguring (View user info) at 2007-03-13 14:20:57 EDT
A while ago I mentioned that I was getting 'tardstrength after a brain injury following a bike wreck. Apparently the process is still going on, but my doctor has found a possible reason.
Apparently the knock to the head has caused a hormone imbalance for someone my age (I'm 33). I'm getting a little extra adrenaline and two kinds of testosterone so I'm getting stronger and bigger, and that explains the short temper too. It is useful for moving furniture but I can't seem to be able to tell if something is too heavy. I tried to lift the back of my wife's car the othe day, and I sliced my hand open doing so. I guess it's called 'tardstrength for a reason - you have to be retarded to try to use it. My judgement is apparently affected.
One of the other downsides is also that I'm turning into a Yeti. I had a lot of body hair before, but now... Jeez. I have a fucking monobrow that grows in as fast as my beard. It's kind of gross.
The docs tell me that it's unlikely that I'll be as quick mentally as I was (whatever that level actually was) but I'll start to get damaged by the hormones if it doesn't level off soon. I can't really say I like being stronger and hairier but mentally slower than I was. I'd rather be normal. But at least I can get work as a bouncer.
User Reviews
Submitted by Registered_S_O (user info) at 2008-08-12 21:58:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I guess it's called 'tardstrength for a reason - you have to be retarded to try to use it.
I laughed for 2 minutes at this.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-11-29 16:19:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-03-14 14:24:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-03-14 14:24:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2007-03-14 13:05:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm trying to lean toward sympathetic instead of amused, but it's so very difficult.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2007-03-14 12:46:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-03-13 17:35:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is like reading the first few issues of a new comic book.
------------------
Here y'go, Jack.
http://www.enduringvision.com/archives/dc_comics.jpg
Submitted by sweetcheebs (user info) at 2007-03-14 08:43:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If only we could all have tardstrength without the nasty side effects.
Submitted by kuroneko_sama (user info) at 2007-03-14 01:14:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
welcome to my hell (was born with a similar condition that basically gives me a 25% adreniline rush at all times)
Submitted by gonefiguring (user info) at 2007-03-13 19:05:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
My wife called me her 'lovetard' this afternoon. I can't stop laughing at that.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-03-13 17:35:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is like reading the first few issues of a new comic book.
I can't wait to see what happens next.
Who will his twisted nemesis be?
What will his costume look like?
And what are the hidden weaknesses counterbalancing his growing, inhuman strength?
Stay tuned...
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2007-03-13 16:39:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Thankyou...I'd been wanting to change the picture on my desktop.
Submitted by sideshow (user info) at 2007-03-13 16:20:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Tardstrength", what an awesome term.
Submitted by Creepy_guy (user info) at 2007-03-13 15:55:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-03-13 15:17:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hahahhahhahhaha. for some goddamn reason owls are just fucking hilarious.
i need the O RLY owl as wallpaper.
__________________________________
I had the O RLY olw as wallpaper and the YA RLY owl as an MSN picture. Then I realized what a huge nerd I am and changed it all to Halo 3 stuff.
Fuck.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-03-13 15:31:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Those are Chocomut Crested Owls...
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-03-13 15:17:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hahahhahhahhaha. for some goddamn reason owls are just fucking hilarious.
i need the O RLY owl as wallpaper.
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2007-03-13 15:03:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
tard strength...that kicks ass.
NURRRR!!
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-03-13 15:01:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Y RLO?
Tardowlsayswhat??
Submitted by Hiredugan (user info) at 2007-03-13 14:54:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for the picture!
Submitted by messmind (user info) at 2007-03-13 14:38:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2007-03-13 14:26:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You and Electro will get along just swimmingly.
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2007-03-13 14:25:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I like you more now you are a little bit slow.