its T and i have the S to P (909 hits)
Category: HumorRating: 1.74 on 42 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by kracka (View user info) at 2007-03-15 15:52:39 EDT
Gul I loveded you,
Straight up fo'sho.
Or I wouldna told dem ova girls
not to call me no mo.
I knowed it was true,
the first day I seed you.
Why you thank I do,
the thangs I do?
Remember how I use ta wine and dine you, Schlits Malt Liquor and Bar-Ba-Que.
I gave you a bubble baze and fed you grapes.
Dey was on sale that week a dolla ninety-eight.
Romanic evenins after dark,
Skreet light walks around the block.
Like the very first time,
you came ova to my crib.
And you got all scared,
cause that roach was on yo Tims.
I was right dare,
with a can of spray.
To be yo Super Negro,
and save the day.
I ain't even pay my light bill,
so I can take you to da club.....
Don't knock ova dem candles
and burn up da rug!
And dat nite we made luv,
for a long liddle bit of time.
I hope you got yours,
cause I sho'nuff got mine.
I woke up early and made you breakfast in bed.
Sep fo I ain't have no juice, no grits, and no eggs.
Didn't have no cereals and was fresh outta milk, so we had some toast and some potada chips.
I use to rub lotion on yo feets,
and massage yo back.
I found you some glue,
when you lost one of your tracks.
Now what man you knowed,
ever loveded you like dis.
Gul please just take my name
off dat child support list.
---------------------------------------------------
LAST CHILD SUPPORT CHECK!!!
Today be my baby girl's 18th birthday I be so glad that dis be my last child support payment! Month after month, year after year, all dose payments! So I call my baby girl, LaKeesha, to come to my house, and when she get here, I say, "Baby girl, I want you to take dis check over to yo momma house and tell her dis be the last check she ever be gettin' from me, and I want you to come back and tell me the 'spression on yo mama's face."
So, my baby girl take the check over to her momma. I be anxious to hear what she say, and bout the 'spression on her face. Baby girl walk through the door, I say, "Now what yo momma say 'bout that?" She say to tell you that "you ain't my daddy" .... and watch the 'spression on yo face"!!!
User Reviews
Submitted by Natophelia (user info) at 2007-05-05 22:36:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HEEEEEEEEHEhehehehehe I could see this made into a play. Or maybe just a strange episode of Good Times.
Submitted by I_love_Kracka (user info) at 2007-04-26 15:53:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
How did I miss this?
Fanfuckingtastick!
We need one for the bride to be - can you plan on one?
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2007-03-16 20:47:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Coulda done with just the poem.
Fekkinel, don't think I've ever said that before.
Submitted by BadAssJulie (user info) at 2007-03-16 19:50:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2007-03-16 19:36:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
racist
Submitted by marginwalker (user info) at 2007-03-16 16:38:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Holy Hell.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-03-16 16:16:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you get a plus +2 just for the meter of that poem.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2007-03-16 12:50:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
o dear god.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-03-16 07:25:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That picture always amuses me.
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2007-03-16 07:13:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It would be even funnier if a black guy posted this...
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2007-03-16 03:45:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That picture puts the freak back into freakin' awesome.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-03-16 02:44:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2007-03-16 02:07:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you sir, are a fucking racist.
Submitted by particle_man58 (user info) at 2007-03-16 02:31:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
GAH!
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2007-03-16 02:07:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you sir are a fucking racist.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-03-15 23:18:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Fuck ebonics.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-03-15 22:41:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-03-15 22:26:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
what a fantastic gaping maw.
and the pome wern't bad neither.
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2007-03-15 22:20:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Outfuckingstanding young-blood
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2007-03-15 21:56:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well, feces, Negro.
Erm... I meant to say, "Shit, nigga!"
You be a funny African....
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2007-03-15 21:07:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh fuck. As I just gave a 0 myself. Imma fookin' idioit.
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2007-03-15 21:06:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
there is no reason on God's green earth why this shouldn't be anything but a solid +2.
:-(
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2007-03-15 20:34:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hey, blade II called, they want their bad guy back
Submitted by paul_anthony (user info) at 2007-03-15 20:22:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
what what what
Submitted by strwbryfanatic (user info) at 2007-03-15 18:26:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Get on AIM, you tardo.
Submitted by Stabkill (user info) at 2007-03-15 18:13:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-03-15 18:04:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Forgive my ignorance, Tiger, but will this be your first?
And if so, will you be wearing the prosthesis in the stirrups, or are you pushing this baby out via means that I don't know of, for 1 legged people?
no joke, I'm actually curious.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2007-03-15 17:26:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey, I'll be in your neck of the woods in June.
Submitted by sideshow (user info) at 2007-03-15 17:00:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice work.
If bits of this is true and you are done with them payments, then congratulations. If not, well, nice piece of work anyways.
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2007-03-15 16:31:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
*sp gentlemen... I hate it when I do that
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2007-03-15 16:30:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ladies and Gentleman, pay close fucking attention here, because THIS is mother-fucking comedy.
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2007-03-15 16:23:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Maybe you actually DID just finish off your child support payment.
Submitted by Hilarity_Ensues (user info) at 2007-03-15 16:23:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Have another +2 b/c I just emailed this to someone I know who will appreciate it.
Submitted by tiaprae (user info) at 2007-03-15 16:14:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sorry I fucked up the streak
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-03-15 16:13:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Tell me you made this up. SWEET JESUS TELL ME YOU MADE UP THIS FINE PIECE OF HILARITY!!!
Submitted by tiaprae (user info) at 2007-03-15 16:12:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I have two sisters, 12 and 15. They do NOT need 2 grand a month.
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-03-15 16:11:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by tiaprae (user info) at 2007-03-15 16:07:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My dad can't help at all with my college since he has to pay my mom 1000 every two weeks for my sisters.
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SHEEEYIT.....All of a sudden 116 a week doesn't sound so bad.
Submitted by tiaprae (user info) at 2007-03-15 16:07:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My dad can't help at all with my college since he has to pay my mom 1000 every two weeks for my sisters.
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-03-15 16:04:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I, too am roped in for the next 16.5 years. It stings a little more with each week's pay cut.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-03-15 16:03:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hippo Man will eat Helmut Cat for breffas.
Submitted by ChalupaTres (user info) at 2007-03-15 15:57:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
FUNNY.
Submitted by Hilarity_Ensues (user info) at 2007-03-15 15:56:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck, I laughed.
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2007-03-15 15:56:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That picture alone is awesome.
+200 for making me think for a minute that you actually did just pay your last child support payment.