I Remember the Days at the Old School Yard (509 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.33 on 9 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by realpolitik (View user info) at 2007-03-19 00:44:03 EDT
I remember the high school years.
They were painful, busy, and seemed to be an excruciating grind at the time. Every time I remember them I can't help but hear Queen's "Pressure" playing in the background. Maybe it was the fact that I did every activity known to man: editor of my paper, officer on my speech and debate team, etc. or maybe it was the fact that I went to an all boys' school. You decide. In retrospect, damn they were fun. I was a boring kid in high school, but the boys I hung out with were funny. Not the Chris Rock or Margaret Cho "I-have-to-laugh-because-if-I-don't-everyone-will-think-I-don't-like-black-people-or-am-homophobic" kind of funny, but rather the "holy-shit-these-people-are-fucked-up" funny. And let's face it, there is nothing in this world funnier than fucked up people.
One stands out above the rest in fuckedupitude. We shall call him "Mike," mostly because his name was "Mike." I had always liked Mike, he was in my biology class freshman year and it was there that I got exposed to his "unique" sense of humor. I shall always fondly remember the day when he got up to give a report on the hanta virus and sung a song where he claimed that if he got the hanta virus he would "give it to you." Alas, I wish I could recall better the verses of the song. But his exploits ran deeper than that.
I remember one day in philosophy class as a Senior it was Mike's turn to take notes. Our teacher, a befuddled man, each day had a different student take notes on his computer (which was projected onto a screen at the front of the classroom). Apparently it was to clarify the lesson or some shit, he never really understood that no one was paying any attention. The teacher always stood with his back to the screen. Whenever it was your turn to take notes on the computer you would type funny dialogue unbeknownst to the teacher (which would be later made popular in THE COLBERT REPORT'S short segment "the Word"). Normally it was stupid stuff like "marx and engels are widely considered to be teh gaylords," and then promptly deleted. As I said, normally, it wasn't funny. But today was different; it was Mike's turn to take notes. As he got up to go to the teacher's computer, we all knew that today was going to be grand. Just grand. The teacher began to lecture about some shit I could care less about and Mike began to dutifully type. Only he wasn't typing what the teacher was saying. No, his notes were quite different. The teacher never realized that the class was not laughing at the shitty pseudo- intellectual joke he had just told, but rather were in stitches at the giant letter's Mike had projected behind the teacher which read, "Remember the North/ remember the South/ remember how I stuck my dick in your mouth." I asked him later why he decided to write that on the board. He simply replied, "I was bored, so I just typed what I wrote in some chick's yearbook last weekend."
I didn't doubt him.
Coming soon "Mike and the Craig's List adventure"
User Reviews
Submitted by BadASCII (user info) at 2007-03-20 22:27:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by DesolateMisanthrope (user info) at 2007-03-20 18:13:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Timmaaaaah (user info) at 2007-03-20 07:40:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I quite liked this and yes I think with the help of some of the good writers and formatting tips they will beat some good stuff outta you.
ignore the N00obs
Submitted by Life101 (user info) at 2007-03-19 23:57:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-03-19 15:36:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2007-03-19 14:57:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ok, I think you might have potential so I'm going to take a little time with this.
"I Remember the Days at the Old School Yard"
Certainly one of the more ignorable titles on the front page. Probably the only reason why you haven't -2'd off by now.
"I remember the high school years."
I'm sure you do. Most people remember their time in high school. Guessing from your title, I think you're trying to convey a "Ahhh, the good ol' high school days" kind of sentiment. Simply stating that you remember the experiance does not acheive this.
"In retrospect, damn they were fun."
Read that out loud. It's very awkward.
"One stands out above the rest in fuckedupitude. We shall call him "Mike,""
The introduction of Mike. Not really sure why you need him here. I think this story would have read better if you had conveyed things you actually did, not things you watched Mike do. Also, the bit about Mike's virus song might have been funny had you developed the situation a bit more and maybe included the content of the song. Reread your paragraph. You basically told us that this one time, in biology class, this kid you knew had to give a report and instead of giving a report, he made up a funny song and it was hilarious.
"I remember one day in philosophy class as a Senior it was Mike's turn to take notes."
Philosophy class and crazy Mike's at it again! Hilarious! But not really. First of all, you claim that everyone fucked around taking notes in class. So having "crazy Mike" do the same thing as everyone else is really not creative. Also, it seems the whole point of this paragraph is to get to the line "Remember the North/ remember the South/ remember how I stuck my dick in your mouth". Unfortunately, this is an awful punchline. Don't get me wrong, if I had read this when I was in middle school, I'd have laughed my ass off, but now, not so much. Not to mention you set up this punchline in the setting of philosophy class? Sex-ed would have made a bit more sense.
So +0 because I think you can improve.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-03-19 08:32:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I simply didn't read it because I thought the formatting sucked.
Submitted by sir_cowman (user info) at 2007-03-19 05:38:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
i agree with the other guy, however, i refuse to rate high school antics positively
Submitted by eric_the_bread (user info) at 2007-03-19 00:50:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Not bad. Needs something more though