Northern Ways (681 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.25 on 21 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Bubba2341 (View user info) at 2007-03-19 23:29:01 EDT
He waved his hand in front of the sensor and the door dilated, admitting him to the reception chamber. The female behind the large desk sneered at him and asked,
"Who are you, and how did you open the door? You don't belong here."
Another wave of his hand and she burst into flames, consuming herself, the desk, and the chair. Ten seconds later he stepped through the wall, blasted the President's head off, and declared himself King.
.................
Argus The First had been Supreme Ruler for more than a century, his ascension to power remembered by few still living. His Queen, although 30 years his junior, was a wrinkled remnant of her early beauty. Argus hated her ugliness as much as he hated her name. Why would parents name their female child Brandi? Not a name for a Queen at all.
Argus knew he must sentence the court physician to death, even though the man was his own son. No doctor in the realm could be allowed to tell the King, "You're too old to rule. Give it a rest. Retire to the Ancient Planet, and let a younger man assume the throne."
..................
"Citizens of Ritalin IV, Subjects of Brandi, Daughter of Valerie. Loyal followers of Argus, Son of Alain, keeper of the Northern Fires. Ye are gathered today to pass judgement upon The Supreme Ruler and His fitness to rule. Let the charges be read by the esteemed seer of The Kingdom, the All-Knowing Master of That Which Is Holy,
He-Who-Knoweth-All, The Mighty and Omniscient Robberg. All hail!!!
A hush fell over the Chamber,
Robbie come boppin' in off the street,
Then Argus screamed out, "Got news for ya buddy,
this is gonna be sweet.
My name is really The Flamer
And I know more than you ever thought,
I was Caul in the old days,
You dumb Motherfucker,
You're a poopy pants ignorant twat."
User Reviews
Submitted by Lurby (user info) at 2008-07-05 15:20:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"door dilated"... cool
Submitted by locksly (user info) at 2007-04-03 22:53:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-03-23 12:53:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I've noticed a distinct lack of hailing lately.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-03-20 20:04:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
OH NOES, I INACCURATELY SPELLED "INACCURACIES" BELOW
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-03-20 14:23:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-03-20 14:23:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-03-20 13:41:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
argus...i like that name.
my gf would like it too. :-P
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-03-20 12:20:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HISTORICAL INNACURACIES. REVISIONIST HISTORY, SIR.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2007-03-20 11:25:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
did i read what i think i read?
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-03-20 10:09:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This could become your "Dune."
Work it, man. Work it like you're walking the streets.
Submitted by zimm0r (user info) at 2007-03-20 09:45:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
No Comment
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-03-20 07:53:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2007-03-19 23:31:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
WTF?
--------
But good to see you posting again.
Submitted by BadSamaritan87 (user info) at 2007-03-20 05:52:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by messmind (user info) at 2007-03-20 05:21:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
What no x-men saving the day?
Reality sux!
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-03-20 03:25:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
MORE! MORE!
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-03-20 03:23:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
>blush<
This is art!
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2007-03-20 02:40:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Zebra (user info) at 2007-03-19 23:56:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
B@W
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2007-03-19 23:44:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
And everybody say, Jack, don't ya know,
"You don't fuck with Mr.Caul's shit...."
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2007-03-19 23:33:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2007-03-19 23:31:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
WTF?
******
Try to pay a little good attention here, Ebola.....
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2007-03-19 23:31:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
WTF?