(Insert bong hits here) (688 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.68 on 26 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Chronic (View user info) at 2007-03-20 22:39:14 EDT
Hey, I don't have anyone to talk to about this. You know stuff about politics and stuff, right?
Yeah.
Well, why are they doing this campaign shit already?
Because to be President, you have to have a whole bunch of shit.
And you only get a whole bunch of shit when you're on TV all the time, right?
Even if you're unqualifed.
Like the Hilton whores?
Exactly.
And what's the deal with the mormon?
Motherfucker can't win as a mormon.
I heard he's the only monogomist, though.
Those fat white bible people with the minivans and front lawns love that shit.
Those people are retarded. Their kids are fighting a war without bulletproof vests. Or armored jeeps. Stupid.
I can't believe they went along with this shit.
At least being mormon will counterract that he's the only guy without a failed marriage.
Motherfucker can't win as a mormon.
Maybe Gore should run.
That dude is probably the guy who it should be, but hear me out. He's spent 30 years fighting his way through the bullshit of the system. He must resent it so. I don't know if I want that kind of resentment running today's America. American society is acting like a child. Resentment for a child is the darkside.
Gore should start a short-lived eco-terror group and then move away to an island and smoke pot and think of a way to convert solar energy into ice.
Word.
(Insert bong hits here)
Utah must be fucking weird.
How does anyone, anywhere, seriously think we're gonna elect a mormon?
Aren't you in favor of polygamy?
Mormons still alive today were taught to believe that blacks could only go to Heaven as slaves.
Oh. That shit wouldn't fly round our circles.
AND, I'm all about polygamy, bitch.
I imagine that's part of the reason why my girlfriend feels so sorry for you.
Oh, you mean, introduces me to new chicks? I thought we were all on the same page about that.
.............
Don't feel bad. It's not just your girlfriend.
I hate you. That McCain is military. Military might not be ideal huh?
Ideal? He was tortured, dude. You ever seen somebody tortured?
..............
Oh...yeah...
Look, nobody should fucking be tortured unless they really fucking have to be and you know exactly what that means. Torturing people changes them.
I know. Plus, it's hard to tell on TV, but I think he might have a little 1000 yard stare goin' on. Maybe 600.
Remember when they were calling him a maverick?
Yeah.
I remember you saying back then that he'd sell himself out. Did he?
Like a homeless tranny.
Speaking of homeless trannys, our noble New York Mayor's in it to win it. Believe that shit?
Honestly, no. A crossdressing social conservative. Only in New York.
Why'd he bust all those people for pot?
To get himself high. Y'see?
Yo, that's fucked.
I know.
(Insert bong hits here)
President Obama is fun to say.
Yep. And, well-documented drug use, time abroad, unpaid parking tickets from 20 years ago, and slave blood mixed with slave owner blood. We like all that shit.
What does he think about stuff?
I dunno. I don't think anyone really does. We have 18 months.
Why is that exactly?
Because people like us tend to be democrats.
We're not democrats.
I know, but people kinda LIKE us. Most of the democrats we know who call themselves democrats are only there by no other option. Otherwise they have to essentially disenfranchise themselves by alienating from the mainstream.
E.T. Phone. Home.
Exactly.
So why is it that the democrats can't find somebody? Is it because of too many conflicting interests?
Yeah, democrats don't support their party because at least half the democrats just associate with being a democrat. Most have lost their faith in the party, if not the broader system.
It's retarded, though. Can't somebody just be good?
Do you know how much dick you have to suck to get there?
Speaking of Hilary, who obviously wasn't doing ENOUGH dick sucking, is this f'real?
I know. A black dude and a broken goods woman. It's staggering.
It's good, but..
Yeah, it's good, but it might not work. And Hilary isn't a good option, anyway.
No penis?
Sadly, somewhat. When daddy's been stepping out on mommy, mommy's body is physiologically off kilter. Women can have emotionless sex, but sex is more emotional for women. As is marriage. Finding out that you're not even good enough to keep your man out of the interns? Then she sneaks an ill job out of the whole thing and gets enough credibility and notoriety to even be an OPTION for the Dem nominee? Republicans want her to run bacause she's so beatable.
So what's assbackward here?
Reality TV and political correctness, I think. Oh, and giving ALL the kids in tee-ball a trophy.
6 months from now, ya wanna do this again?
Get high?
...Yeah.
You wanna get high right now?
Yeah.
(Insert bong hits here.)
---
Chroniclysmically Conceptualized
User Reviews
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2007-03-23 01:01:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I liked this.
I have no clue as to why.
Submitted by Chroniclysm (user info) at 2007-03-22 15:04:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah, I'm second. It's almost entirely based on a conversation I actually had. Closely inspired, anyway.
Submitted by sideshow (user info) at 2007-03-22 10:51:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
stupid fucking american politics....why can't there be another option, instead of dem. or rep.?
I think they need some new views, new ideas, and new blood in the system. I shouldn't care so much because I'm not american, be seeing as americans bascially rule the world, it affects everybody...
Submitted by sweetcheebs (user info) at 2007-03-22 10:13:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
eh, what the hell
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2007-03-22 05:01:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I can't decide which side of the conversation you are. I THINK the 2nd guy but I'm not sure. Care to enlighten?
Submitted by Chroniclysm (user info) at 2007-03-22 02:27:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You sayin' I got brain damage?
Submitted by ih8u2man (user info) at 2007-03-22 01:16:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Aphasia (or aphemia) is a loss or impairment of the ability to produce and/or comprehend language, due to brain damage.
Depending on the area and extent of the damage, someone suffering from aphasia may be able to speak but not write, or vice versa, or display any of a wide variety of other deficiencies in reading, writing, and comprehension.
Aphasia may co-occur with speech disorders such as dysarthria or apraxia of speech, which also result from brain damage.
Usually, aphasias are a result of damage to the language centres of the brain (like Broca's area). These areas are almost always located in the left hemisphere, and in most people this is where the ability to produce and comprehend language is found. However, in a very small number of people language ability is found in the right hemisphere. In either case, damage to these language areas can be caused by a stroke, traumatic brain injury, or other head injury. Aphasia may also develop slowly, as in the case of a brain tumor or progressive neurological disease.
It is not a result of deafness or muscle paralysis, and it does not necessarily affect intelligence.
All these types of aphasia are classified as secondary; primary aphasia is a relatively rare condition with no known cause and often no other symptoms.
The brains of young children with brain damage sometimes restructure themselves to use different areas for speech processing, and regain lost function; adult brains are less adaptable and lack this ability.
Aphasia can be assessed in a variety of ways, from quick clinical screening at the bedside to several-hour-long batteries of tasks that examine the key components of language and communication.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2007-03-21 20:07:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I like this muchos.
Submitted by Chroniclysm (user info) at 2007-03-21 16:07:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm going to an Obama speech in April.
They see me rollin'...
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2007-03-21 15:01:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
...
Is this or is this not a bong hit?
AH! GET IT!?? Cause I'm BONG! AND you just got a HIT from me! HA! AHAHA!! Ha...heh...
...sorry.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-03-21 14:02:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-03-21 13:56:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-03-20 21:07:31 PDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Coooool.
(insert bong hit here)
-----
aha, that's why you're so lazy
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2007-03-21 10:34:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
awsome.
Oh, did somebody mention the 2007 democratic campaign?
Fuck. Linkwhoring below.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/98973
Submitted by Chroniclysm (user info) at 2007-03-21 10:32:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I only have 3 thoughts about Utah.
Mormons
Olympics
Maddox
Submitted by _God (user info) at 2007-03-21 10:28:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Very awesome...I'll be back in 6 months for more.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-03-21 09:21:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
utah is really not an ok place to be. scariest state in the union. they're like aliens.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-03-21 09:08:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-03-21 08:45:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Not bad, Hymie.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-03-21 07:43:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Amazing grace, how sweet the sound
of bong rippity rips, OH YEAH!
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2007-03-21 04:16:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Why is it that people on drugs seem to make more sense than people who aren't?
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2007-03-21 03:32:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I like your shit, too.
though I don't pull rips.
Go figure.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-03-21 01:35:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
really?
sweet!
... just sayin'
Submitted by Chroniclysm (user info) at 2007-03-21 00:55:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I usually read your stuff anyway, rob.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-03-21 00:07:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Coooool.
(insert bong hit here)
Ok OK ok... you totally have to read my next stoned rant, cuz I just read this whole thing.
deal?
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2007-03-20 23:47:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i like your stuff
Submitted by MidnightToSix (user info) at 2007-03-20 23:14:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You are right, we are doomed