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God?

Submitted by rob_berg at 2007-06-12 05:02:39 EDT
Rating: 0.59 on 61 ratings (62 reviews) (Review this item) (V)


Hey GOD.

Call me agnostic – call me blasphemous – but I just can’t help but wonder if you are only in our heads.

I don’t believe in the various anthropomorphic fabrications that humanity has embraced in order to help conceptualize you. Of course, this would probably include referring to you as… um… ‘you’ - but lets just ignore that little conundrum and move forward, k?

See, I have been thinking a lot lately that I have been exposed to the belief of ‘GOD’ from the very beginning of my life. From my earliest memories I have had a ‘GOD concept’ (United baptism, Sunday School, Catholic School, Lutheran University…) All the while I have constantly questioned and re-evaluated my opinions and beliefs of you and even today if someone were to ask me “Hey Rob – do you believe in GOD?” my short answer would be a solid ‘yes’.

But as to why?

The long answer? Who fucking knows?

At the very least it’s pragmatic. I mean, when I die I’d like to think there is more to this whole ‘existence’ thing than just the limited time we spend participating in this often cruel “life”. I don’t believe in heaven or hell. I don’t think you are some old bearded father-figure shooting lightning bolts out of your giant celestial cock - smiting the various nasty heathens running around down here sinning away like motherfuckers. I don’t particularly believe in the bible. I certainly don’t believe you spirit fucked Mary or turned anyone into piles of salt or had some poor bastard build a boat and collect animals.

I DO believe that Jesus Christ had some fantastic ideas on how to live. Love? Forgiveness? Acceptance? There is some magic to be found in them there teachings. Can’t really go wrong with the 10 commandments either – even if I don’t buy into the ‘official’ story.

It’s truly overwhelming how much SHIT is going on all over this planet of ‘ours’. So much so that we have understandably limited our interest in things that don’t specifically affect us out of pure necessity. There is simply too much to comprehend YET through all the chaos and infinite distraction our assorted society’s provide YOU seem to be a pretty identifiable constant.

I think that is cool.

I mean throughout recorded history various cultures around the planet have all had their own specific take on who you are and what you require from us mortals – but the general sentiment remains the same: You created everything and we owe you.

I can dig that.

But the reality is you could be nothing more than just that: a sentiment. A fabrication. A fictional creation to help explain what our limited brains simply can’t ever hope to comprehend. You have to admit, you have always proven to be a rather effective way to soothe (or cause) fears, control populations, and lets face it - make a boat load of cash. Not to mention all the fighting that goes on in your name – death, destruction, martyring, corruption… I mean the list of atrocities is vast when it comes down to what we humans will do in the pursuit of pleasing whatever deluded concept we have of you.

I just don’t get it – you should be a unifying concept yet you consistently prove to be a divisive one. Why is that?

Anyway, I don’t really have much of a point to make here – I just thought I would check in and see if other people around here felt like talking about you as well. I figure it’s been a while since I've had a good solid GOD chat – and perhaps there are some other folks eager to flex their spiritual awareness.


If I believed in hell... posting this picture would secure a place at the bar.jpg
If I believed in hell... posting this picture would secure a place at the bar.jpg


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Submitted by rob_berg at 2013-05-19 01:52:33 EDT (#)

This was one of my favorite posts.

Submitted by woolfe at 2008-12-12 04:25:23 EST (#)
Rating: -2

dantangel.at.gmail.com

Submitted by BobLobla at 2007-07-04 10:34:50 EDT (#)
Rating: 2


Submitted by lungfish at 2007-06-16 10:34:31 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

There is one unifying rule: Do unto others blah blah blah.

I don\'t worry about God. Either we\'ll discover something when we die, or we won\'t. If the latter, then we won\'t know to be bothered by not knowing. Or something like that.

I missed this post. For a week, I thought maltease had successfully taken Uber down. Turns out my IP address is (apparently) blocked. Not sure what I did. Might have something to do with me calling this place pointless in a moment of cynicism brought on by endless camwhores.

Or maybe it\'s just that I post shit. Alas...

Submitted by rob_berg at 2007-06-15 13:12:57 EDT (#)
Rating: 1


obsession [uhb-sesh-uhn]

> an irrational, unhealthy and compulsive preoccupation with something or someone

Submitted by Caulaincourt at 2007-06-15 09:14:49 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

one dimensional cunt below

Submitted by rob_berg at 2007-06-14 01:48:57 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2007-06-13 20:55:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

Fuck "God" and everything it stands for.

People are so easily led and manipulated.

"Don't do that or God will smite you!"

Lame. I'll read some reviews, I'm sure someone will be bible bashing down there for me so I can do a bit of laughing today.

---

Lame.

People are so easily led and manipulated? You feel like breaking the big story on water being wet - really impress the kids at home?

I am interested in why you say 'Fuck "God" and everything it stands for'

The quotations and the use of 'it' are especially compelling. C'mon - we all know what a miserable fuck-stick you can be - why not show up and show off that big brain of yours?

Doesn't being a one-dimensional cunt get a little dull?

Submitted by Sphagnum at 2007-06-13 20:55:35 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Fuck "God" and everything it stands for.

People are so easily led and manipulated.

"Don't do that or God will smite you!"

Lame. I'll read some reviews, I'm sure someone will be bible bashing down there for me so I can do a bit of laughing today.

Submitted by ilikesteak at 2007-06-13 20:34:08 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-06-13 15:01:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-06-13 14:45:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Why must you doubt my existence?

---

I don't - I just don't know why.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If you have any questions for my almightyness, I'm here to answer them.

Submitted by Sacrilicious at 2007-06-13 15:11:10 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

No time to talk, but I like this post anyway.

Submitted by rob_berg at 2007-06-13 15:01:40 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-06-13 14:45:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Why must you doubt my existence?

---

I don't - I just don't know why.

Submitted by ilikesteak at 2007-06-13 14:45:05 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Why must you doubt my existence?

Submitted by EmissionImpossible at 2007-06-13 04:27:56 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

<> <>
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- -
- -
-

Submitted by rob_berg at 2007-06-13 02:55:36 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

I actually believe in god. I'm what i call a "realistic catholic." My point is that the moment people start thinking they realized the faith that it takes to believe in god is immense. Humans, being flawed beings, stopped really believeing in god the day the had the ability to. I's cliche but individuals think too much of themselves. In short, god is what you make him/ her and it takes a humble person to really believe. So many people say they do but it's only out of fear of hell. The most important thing in the bible/ religion: free choice. God died when we had the choice to not take the leap because we are flawed, crap, and all we really care about is ourselves.

I'm not sure how much of that I will stand by but I stick by my thought that God died the day he gave us the ability to believe or not. Alive or dead, does anyone ever exist if no one believes?

---

Fear is certainly a powerful motivator in the belief of GOD. Hell - eternal damnation, fiery pits - pitchforks. It's some pretty scary shit...ish.

I mean I find it all rather ridiculous - but I think people buy into the fantasy because it is an easier 'fear' to face than one of our own mortality, of a limited existence and especially one of death. Belief in GOD and the structured fantasy of Heaven, Purgatory and Hell gives people hope and distracts them from truly contemplating their own existence. Blind faith is rampant - and this gift of 'free will' is lost because we are all scared shitless of the unknown.

People are afraid to think.

I choose to believe in GOD - but not out of fear, but because I want to.

I do find your particular theory very interesting - if not a little bleak. Ultimately belief in GOD is highly personal, and every single person will have a unique perspective on their own level of faith. I thank you for sharing yours.

Submitted by mockidol at 2007-06-13 01:22:56 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Also, I managed to become drunk between those two comments of mine so please excuse my poor grammar and sentence stucture.

Submitted by mockidol at 2007-06-13 01:18:49 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-06-12 23:34:31 CDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Submitted by mockidol (user info) at 2007-06-12 23:31:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

God died the day humans became self aware.

---

Interesting statement.

I would submit the opposite - what makes you say that?

---

I actually believe in god. I'm what i call a "realistic catholic." My point is that the moment people start thinking they realized the faith that it takes to believe in god is immense. Humans, being flawed beings, stopped really believeing in god the day the had the ability to. I's cliche but individuals think too much of themselves. In short, god is what you make him/ her and it takes a humble person to really believe. So many people say they do but it's only out of fear of hell. The most important thing in the bible/ religion: free choice. God died when we had the choice to not take the leap because we are flawed, crap, and all we really care about is ourselves.

I'm not sure how much of that I will stand by but I stick by my thought that God died the day he gave us the ability to believe or not. Alive or dead, does anyone ever exist if no one believes?

Submitted by rob_berg at 2007-06-13 01:01:18 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2007-06-13 00:37:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Why is this not rated higher?

+2 on pic alone

read this

http://tinyurl.com/2k9v4g

Excellent post, by the way.

---

Thanks, eh.

Have you read 'doubt' - or were you just referring to the review by the dude from the Washington post?

Cuz, I mean - THAT is a really kick-ass review. That kind of critical thinking is really cool to read.


Submitted by lechuza at 2007-06-13 00:52:38 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

glad to see you posted something worthwhile again

Submitted by St_Jimmy at 2007-06-13 00:37:19 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Why is this not rated higher?

+2 on pic alone

read this

http://tinyurl.com/2k9v4g

Excellent post, by the way.

Submitted by rob_berg at 2007-06-13 00:34:31 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by mockidol (user info) at 2007-06-12 23:31:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

God died the day humans became self aware.

---

Interesting statement.

I would submit the opposite - what makes you say that?

Submitted by mockidol at 2007-06-12 23:31:35 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

God died the day humans became self aware.

Submitted by ih8u2man at 2007-06-12 19:38:21 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Woah! God's ghey? This changes everything..

Submitted by rob_berg at 2007-06-12 17:59:09 EDT (#)
Rating: 0



oops. I thought I had a second of all - but I don't really think I do, and that was getting too wordy as it was.

I guess I am just agreeing that GOD does get warped far too easily - and I don't think people realize how little GOD has to do with their opinions and how much their direct circle of influence has on them.

Submitted by rob_berg at 2007-06-12 17:54:11 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2007-06-12 16:23:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

You clever bastard. This post is a riddle on to itself, isn't it? The Tao that can be named is not the true Tao.

God is fine and dandy when you're talking peace, love, and all those abstracts, but when you take things a step further and turn those abstracts into concrete -- is God for allowing women to have reproductive freedom, or against the killing of unborn children -- that people form factions and kill each other, eventually warping God into a reason to further their agenda.

---

Excellent. That is really all I ask for is a little participation.

I'd like to claim some sort of intentional riddle... but alas I'm not quite that clever.

You make a very good point - I think the key is to realize that as a method of communication - what we humans employ right now is certainly effective but fails at really portraying the necessary nuance and fully explaining the context of whatever specific message is attempting to be delivered.

(And people hate big blocks of text - so instead we rely on the 'short answer' more times than not - leaving the door wide open for misinterpretation and presumption.)

Abortion is a great example.

First of all - each person will have their very own tolerance for what they consider 'acceptable' in regards to that medical procedure. 'God' certainly plays a role in helping influence that opinion, but also education, upbringing and situational factors like rape or incest will most certainly impact an individuals take on it. Whether the individual is actually female, simply being solicited for advice on getting one or (especially) a current candidate for such a procedure is also a pretty huge factor.

Submitted by icarus1987 at 2007-06-12 16:23:29 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

You clever bastard. This post is a riddle on to itself, isn't it? The Tao that can be named is not the true Tao.

God is fine and dandy when you're talking peace, love, and all those abstracts, but when you take things a step further and turn those abstracts into concrete -- is God for allowing women to have reproductive freedom, or against the killing of unborn children -- that people form factions and kill each other, eventually warping God into a reason to further their agenda.

Submitted by Lugalug at 2007-06-12 16:19:11 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Good shit rob.

Submitted by BadAssJulie at 2007-06-12 15:29:33 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Because of these God? posts Like a Prayer by Madonna keeps playing over and over in my head.

Submitted by rob_berg at 2007-06-12 15:07:26 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-06-12 14:56:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

---

It MUST mean something to you bergie, because you respond to EACH and EVERY one.

Usually with giant blocks of text.

---

Well sure it means something - it provides me with an added bit of entertainment. Just like replying to your continued, prolonged idiocy makes me smile - it's pointless and stupid, but fun.

Perfect that you would respond to that comment as well - as you are most certainly included in that list of losers who seem to get off being so randomly miserable and useless.

hehe - you are so predictably lame.

Submitted by JonnyX at 2007-06-12 14:56:04 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-06-12 10:26:41 PDT (#)
Ranking: -2

Submitted by Cyrus (user info) at 2007-06-12 13:10:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

Trust me kid, God doesn't want to listen to your blather any more than we do.

---

Why would I trust you?

All you have ever proven to be is a boring nerd with zero insight.


hehe


What I love is dweebs like you actually enjoy handing out these pointless little ratings. Deep down you actually think it means something to either me or the people that might be following along. I delight in losers like you getting off on being so randomly miserable and useless.
-----------
It MUST mean something to you bergie, because you respond to EACH and EVERY one.

Usually with giant blocks of text.

Submitted by rob_berg at 2007-06-12 13:32:16 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2007-06-12 13:30:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

You are SUCH a pontificating hippy.

---

Guilty.

Come on in. The theology is moist.

Submitted by icarus1987 at 2007-06-12 13:30:40 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

You are SUCH a pontificating hippy.

Submitted by rob_berg at 2007-06-12 13:26:41 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Submitted by Cyrus (user info) at 2007-06-12 13:10:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

Trust me kid, God doesn't want to listen to your blather any more than we do.

---

Why would I trust you?

All you have ever proven to be is a boring nerd with zero insight.


hehe


What I love is dweebs like you actually enjoy handing out these pointless little ratings. Deep down you actually think it means something to either me or the people that might be following along. I delight in losers like you getting off on being so randomly miserable and useless.

How pathetic and sad your existence must be that such things provide you with a flash of entertainment. I truly hope it made your tragic little day.

God bless you.

Submitted by Cyrus at 2007-06-12 13:10:20 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Trust me kid, God doesn't want to listen to your blather any more than we do.


Submitted by rob_berg at 2007-06-12 12:37:22 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by Foolproof (user info) at 2007-06-12 10:44:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

---

I think of Jesus as that guy that waits at the liquor store to buy stuff for minors, and always keeps the change. A good guy and all, but also kinda greedy.

---

I look at Jesus more like the ID that the kids (church) would use to buy the booze for the minors (congregation). On its own - the ID is infinitely useful if you own it (believe in his message) but when it is used under false pretenses - it breaks the law (promises bullshit 'salvation') and enables impressionable minors (congregations) to get illegally drunk. (I think at this point you are following the metaphor... and I can't come up with anything suitably clever.)


...AND as a ninja fighting off evil samurai.

Submitted by rob_berg at 2007-06-12 12:25:07 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-06-12 08:33:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Submitted by HateMudkips (user info) at 2007-06-12 05:19:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

I like the Fundies (fstdt.com) who pick and choose which laws from the OT to follow (especially ones regarding those dastardly homos). They claim in the next breath that Jebus made the OT irrelevant. So which is it, Fundies? Either Jebus trumps all laws or the NT and Jebus stories are lies. You either take all of the bibble literally, or you interpret it all. "interpreting" various blurbs to suit personal agenda doesn't count. either it's all true, or it's all rot.
----------------------------------------

Jesus specifically stated (is quoted as saying) that he came to fulfill the law of the prophets and the OT, not to abolish it or make it "irrelevant." Theology 101. You lose - try again.


Rob - that is an interesting picture.

---

Captain!

Great to see you - I was just commenting the other day how you haven't been around much.

Focusing on what Jesus "said" becomes troublesome when you factor in all of the things that we know about humanity - see, at the base I believe the fundamental message of what Jesus tried to communicate to the various people who would listen to his words is still represented in the bible. However, we need to remember that any spiritual regurgitation those people had (a) wasn't written down right away and (b) only some of it actually made the cut through the many revisions and transformations the current bible has undergone to arrive at its current incarnation.

I don't think the Old Testament and the New Testament have any business being together in the same book. The God that is represented in the Old Testament - certainly isn't any GOD I recognize - my view is much closer to the detached omniscience the New Testament suggests.

My own interpretation of the bible also suggests to me that Jesus would have been inclusive by nature - not alienating any religion or belief. I picture him being a true philosopher and humanitarian so it made painting him the 'messiah' that much easier.

I think we complicate things to much. I think Jesus had a pretty understandable and enjoyable take on life and following his basic teachings will only lead to increased happiness in your own life.

The rest seems more about control than salvation.

Submitted by rob_berg at 2007-06-12 12:08:17 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2007-06-12 08:11:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

"I don't think you are some old bearded father-figure shooting lightning bolts out of your giant celestial cock - smiting the various nasty heathens running around down here sinning away like motherfuckers."




I like to think of my Jesus wearing a tuxedo t-shirt. It shows that he's formal, ya know, but it also says, 'Hey, I like to party.'

I like to picture Jesus with angel wings. And he's singing lead vocals for Lynyrd Skynyrd and I'm in the front row hammered drunk.

I think of Jesus as a ninja fighting off evil samurai.

---

Easily my favorite indoninja review.

ever.

Submitted by TheUniter at 2007-06-12 11:26:38 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

.

Submitted by TheUniter at 2007-06-12 11:26:27 EDT (#)
Rating: 0


Submitted by Caulaincourt at 2007-06-12 11:10:13 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

i almost rented Talladega Nights the other day but after having seen a few clips, i thought it was a bit too retarded. my gf rented the movie Fur instead, which was supposed to be a tribute to an artist but that pictured her as a cheating whore fond on beastility.

it was funny though. right as Talladega Nights came out, canadian/french F1 pilot jacques villeneuve was talking about signing up with NASCAR. he's an arrogant pompous douchebag who writes gay music.

it was almost too fitting to be a coincidence. JOOWEESH COVER OP!?!

Submitted by indoninja at 2007-06-12 10:59:11 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by Foolproof (user info) at 2007-06-12 10:55:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

I know.

I just wanted to be part of the group.

*sobs in corner, alone*


--------


Foolproof, I would have gone with, "that was fromt he directors cut"

Submitted by Foolproof at 2007-06-12 10:55:39 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

I know.

I just wanted to be part of the group.

*sobs in corner, alone*

Submitted by Caulaincourt at 2007-06-12 10:54:04 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

indoninja quoted Talladega nights, FP
http://youtube.com/watch?v=zKDC2iBQTYg

Submitted by Foolproof at 2007-06-12 10:44:22 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-06-12 09:37:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2007-06-12 08:11:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

"I don't think you are some old bearded father-figure shooting lightning bolts out of your giant celestial cock - smiting the various nasty heathens running around down here sinning away like motherfuckers."




I like to think of my Jesus wearing a tuxedo t-shirt. It shows that he's formal, ya know, but it also says, 'Hey, I like to party.'

I like to picture Jesus with angel wings. And he's singing lead vocals for Lynyrd Skynyrd and I'm in the front row hammered drunk.

I think of Jesus as a ninja fighting off evil samurai.

I think of Jesus as that guy that waits at the liquor store to buy stuff for minors, and always keeps the change. A good guy and all, but also kinda greedy.

Submitted by Orgasmatron at 2007-06-12 10:42:24 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

"A man can no more diminish God's glory by refusing to worship Him than a lunatic can put out the sun by scribbling the word, 'darkness' on the walls of his cell."

Submitted by Shlongy at 2007-06-12 10:41:14 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

God told me to tell you to lay off the Ding Dongs and the Doritos.

Submitted by forthewin at 2007-06-12 10:23:19 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-06-12 10:08:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

"If the whole universe has no meaning, we should never have found out that it has no meaning: just as, if there were no light in the universe and therefore no creatures with eyes, we should never know it was dark. Dark would be without meaning."

___________________

Meaning is a concept. Seeing is a physical sense. You could argue that they're similar enough, but the analogy is flawed.

Submitted by Orgasmatron at 2007-06-12 10:08:02 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

"If the whole universe has no meaning, we should never have found out that it has no meaning: just as, if there were no light in the universe and therefore no creatures with eyes, we should never know it was dark. Dark would be without meaning."

Submitted by Caulaincourt at 2007-06-12 09:39:03 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

p.s i saw better essays written by 12 years old on myspace

Submitted by Caulaincourt at 2007-06-12 09:37:15 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2007-06-12 08:11:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

"I don't think you are some old bearded father-figure shooting lightning bolts out of your giant celestial cock - smiting the various nasty heathens running around down here sinning away like motherfuckers."




I like to think of my Jesus wearing a tuxedo t-shirt. It shows that he's formal, ya know, but it also says, 'Hey, I like to party.'

I like to picture Jesus with angel wings. And he's singing lead vocals for Lynyrd Skynyrd and I'm in the front row hammered drunk.

I think of Jesus as a ninja fighting off evil samurai.

Submitted by CaptainThorns at 2007-06-12 08:33:46 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by HateMudkips (user info) at 2007-06-12 05:19:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

I like the Fundies (fstdt.com) who pick and choose which laws from the OT to follow (especially ones regarding those dastardly homos). They claim in the next breath that Jebus made the OT irrelevant. So which is it, Fundies? Either Jebus trumps all laws or the NT and Jebus stories are lies. You either take all of the bibble literally, or you interpret it all. "interpreting" various blurbs to suit personal agenda doesn't count. either it's all true, or it's all rot.
----------------------------------------

Jesus specifically stated (is quoted as saying) that he came to fulfill the law of the prophets and the OT, not to abolish it or make it "irrelevant." Theology 101. You lose - try again.


Rob - that is an interesting picture.

Submitted by indoninja at 2007-06-12 08:11:33 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

"I don't think you are some old bearded father-figure shooting lightning bolts out of your giant celestial cock - smiting the various nasty heathens running around down here sinning away like motherfuckers."




I like to think of my Jesus wearing a tuxedo t-shirt. It shows that he’s formal, ya know, but it also says, ‘Hey, I like to party.’

I like to picture Jesus with angel wings. And he’s singing lead vocals for Lynyrd Skynyrd and I’m in the front row hammered drunk.

I think of Jesus as a ninja fighting off evil samurai.


Submitted by czwij at 2007-06-12 08:11:21 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

it has been mentioned that hell has beer.
i think thats reason enough.
not to kill mind you,

but to enjoy being mean.

Submitted by thorpe at 2007-06-12 07:14:19 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Yes?

Submitted by sexualchocolate1984 at 2007-06-12 07:13:59 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

"Go read your goddamned bible. Because the world needs more atheists. And nothing will get you there faster than reading the damned bible."
--Penn Jillette

Submitted by EmoJean at 2007-06-12 07:08:35 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

G...ood
O...orderly
D...irection


All it really means

Submitted by HurtByTheSun at 2007-06-12 06:02:34 EDT (#)
Rating: 0


Submitted by DaBeast at 2007-06-12 06:01:11 EDT (#)
Rating: -2


"Go read your goddamned bible. Because the world needs more atheists. And nothing will get you there faster than reading the damned bible."
--Penn Jillette


Submitted by Fatterrific at 2007-06-12 06:00:53 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

When I was a little kid, my dream job was to be a televangelist and get morons across the country to send me money because they were easily misled, while all I had to do was act holy. Alas, I've grown up a bit, and developed some semblance of a conscience. Now I'd feel like too much of a shitbag to prey on the poor old ladies and such who watch crap like 700 club.

Submitted by LittleMonster at 2007-06-12 05:45:28 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I'll order you a pint

Submitted by needsnothing at 2007-06-12 05:35:21 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

A++

Submitted by rad1101 at 2007-06-12 05:28:55 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I've wanted to start a religion and cash in going on 10 years now.

Submitted by HateMudkips at 2007-06-12 05:19:18 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I like the Fundies (fstdt.com) who pick and choose which laws from the OT to follow (especially ones regarding those dastardly homos). They claim in the next breath that Jebus made the OT irrelevant. So which is it, Fundies? Either Jebus trumps all laws or the NT and Jebus stories are lies. You either take all of the bibble literally, or you interpret it all. "interpreting" various blurbs to suit personal agenda doesn't count. either it's all true, or it's all rot.

I vote rot.
Hell is more fun anyway. Fuckin teetotaller fundies.



"You have to admit, you have always proven to be a rather effective way to soothe (or cause) fears, control populations, and lets face it - make a boat load of cash. Not to mention all the fighting that goes on in your name - death, destruction, martyring, corruption..."


Mmm...incapacitating.

-- Homer Simpson
The Springfield Connection