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Manly Men

Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH at 2007-07-27 12:40:30 EDT
Rating: 1.27 on 53 ratings (53 reviews) (Review this item) (V)

Real men don’t cry. Real men don’t bitch. Real men, men like me, don’t give a fuck about shit. Men like me learn from their mistakes, then they make ‘em again just because. Then they eat a 96 ounce steak and wash it down with a nice tall glass of buttery mashed potatoes. That’s what real men do.

Real men, manly men, fix all their problems with elbow grease, beef jerky, and the American flag. Real men don’t drive SUV’s, real men drive Dodge trucks. Real men talk about Hemis, Angus beef burgers, and Pamela Anderson. Real men don’t give two shits about World Cup soccer or Lance Armstrong. Real men boo Lance Armstrong. Real men have balls.

Manly men like me don’t need women. Being manly is about not needin’ shit. And womens is less than shit. Me? I jerk off to my reflection and I jizz lighter fluid. Know why? Cause I’m a real manly man.

Real men smoke Marlboro reds and ride wild stallions and drop kick rattlesnakes. Real men shave with chainsaws and guzzle Jim Beam and body slam elephants and throw special ed buses over mountains. Real men punt babies and break things. Real men eat grenades and shit mortar shells. Real men read Shakespeare. Then we laugh at how fuckin’ queer it is. That’s what real men do.

Real manly men don’t do pilates or yoga or hee-cha kung fu fuck. Real men bench press cement trucks and hunt after grizzly bears with a moldy toothrbrush. Hell, I know this sumbitch Tom Jenkins did just that. Didn’t come back alive. Died like a man though. More than I can say for you. Shit.

Know what I just did? Grew a beard. Yep. Took two seconds. Damn thing’s down to my feet by now. Guess what now. Fuckin’ shaved it.

Yeah. Pretty fuckin’ manly. Probably goin’ to the Hip Hugger later. Probably see you there. If you got the balls.

I ain’t got nothin’ else to say. Real men don’t say much. Ya’ll wanna find me, I’ll be out in the middle of the street flexin’ my muscles and talkin’ Nascar.

Meantime, your candy ass got some stupid pansy questions for a real man? Best direct your mail to this here address theboshman.at.gmail.com…if you got the balls.


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Reviews


Submitted by scourge at 2007-08-30 14:25:38 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH at 2007-08-01 17:44:35 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

its a creed to be shared with all man kind.

Submitted by maiorano84 at 2007-08-01 17:18:31 EDT (#)
Rating: 2


I stole this.

Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH at 2007-07-30 16:16:05 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

i considered that but then i figured that even mentioning that faggot in the body of my post would take away a lot of the manliness

Submitted by JonnyX at 2007-07-30 15:49:54 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Real men also kick the crap out of Earl Scruggs, you forgot that part.

Submitted by Axolotl at 2007-07-30 15:39:59 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

http://www.ubersite.com/m/110574#2486586

this post was useful in an important situation, +2222222

Submitted by haikumikoo at 2007-07-30 08:29:36 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-07-27 09:44:49 PDT (#)
Ranking: 1

You had me mesmerized until I read this:

I'll be out in the middle of the street flexin' my muscles and talkin' Nascar.


Nascar? Are you serious? Come on boshman, you can do better.

Submitted by czwij at 2007-07-30 08:17:29 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

Real men drive truks maybe, but an el camino with a road rashed harley in the bed is the ride of a real cool man!

Submitted by Zeglamancer at 2007-07-29 23:36:37 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I laughed in real life. +2s across the board Bosh. This was good.

Submitted by TheUniter at 2007-07-29 16:53:39 EDT (#)
Rating: 0


Submitted by EmissionImpossible at 2007-07-29 12:44:55 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Real men don't post about real men.

Submitted by 8track at 2007-07-28 22:09:52 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH at 2007-07-28 11:53:15 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by netimportant (user info) at 2007-07-28 00:41:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Real men drive BMW's, have giant cocks, make tons of money, fuck scores of women, catch bullets in their teeth, and are completely devoid of emotional weaknesses!
--

hmm

you are confusing real manly men with a bunch of faggots i think

Submitted by Fucking foul at 2007-07-28 00:48:04 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

hidden101 below

Submitted by netimportant at 2007-07-28 00:41:01 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Real men drive BMW's, have giant cocks, make tons of money, fuck scores of women, catch bullets in their teeth, and are completely devoid of emotional weaknesses!

Submitted by Axolotl at 2007-07-28 00:35:24 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Manly!

Submitted by Sacrilicious at 2007-07-28 00:21:42 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Know what I just did? Grew a beard. Yep. Took two seconds. Damn thing's down to my feet by now. Guess what now. Fuckin' shaved it.
===
HOT

Submitted by Fucking foul at 2007-07-28 00:09:18 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

This post is so manly I can actually smell it. It smells like feed corn and gasoline.

Submitted by beeltea at 2007-07-27 17:50:05 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Do manly men post pictures of dancing puerto ricans under the moniker of "Little Sally"?

cause if so, i'm a manly man too.

Submitted by mynameisandy at 2007-07-27 16:48:34 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

If you like Maddox, you'll love this!

Submitted by Echoes at 2007-07-27 16:22:51 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by DirtyHarry (user info) at 2007-07-27 14:17:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-07-27 12:44:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

real men rate this a +2

Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH at 2007-07-27 16:08:06 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

manly men can shift tectonic plates with their truck

Submitted by skrapmetal at 2007-07-27 16:05:15 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

2003 GMC K1500, 4x4, 5.3L V8 w/Superchip, 4.10 gears and 31" tires. Mileage sucks but it'll climb trees or pull an island.

Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH at 2007-07-27 15:58:28 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

manly men know their trucks.

Submitted by skrapmetal at 2007-07-27 15:54:46 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

Submitted by EmoJean (user info) at 2007-07-27 14:40:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

2003 Ram 1500 QuadCab with some fuckin BFG's
----------
Check the red wire connection from the alternator/voltage regulator to the under-hood fuse panel. I've seen several Dodge pickups of that vintage that burned due to a loose connection there.

Submitted by Cyrus at 2007-07-27 15:49:50 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Manly men like ZZ Top, not Straycats. That's all I have to say. Dammit.

Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH at 2007-07-27 15:21:18 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

real men aren't canadian.

Submitted by CrazyCanuck at 2007-07-27 15:10:29 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Nascar = auto -2

Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH at 2007-07-27 14:44:18 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

real men tell time by the amount of facial hair they have


Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH at 2007-07-27 14:43:28 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

fuck yea

Submitted by EmoJean at 2007-07-27 14:40:40 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

2003 Ram 1500 QuadCab with some fuckin BFG's


Submitted by ajanssen at 2007-07-27 14:40:36 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Real men sexually assualt rattlesnakes

Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH at 2007-07-27 14:39:46 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

real men don't forget anything.

Submitted by candyfloss01 at 2007-07-27 14:34:43 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

you forgot to mention that real men eat weeners

Submitted by DirtyHarry at 2007-07-27 14:17:55 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-07-27 12:44:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

real men rate this a +2

Submitted by Amontillado at 2007-07-27 14:13:27 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by Yozz at 2007-07-27 14:01:12 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Jesus. For a minute I thought you had gotten a hold of my resume.

Submitted by storm at 2007-07-27 13:52:37 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Yes, but a real man also smokes two and a half cartons at one time, in one inhale, without even coughing. Then he spits the tar blackened loogie out.

Submitted by ChaosJester at 2007-07-27 13:32:12 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

This reminds me, so much, of someone I used to go a'travelin' with...

Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys at 2007-07-27 13:12:17 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

This isnt anywhere near as BOSH as usual

Submitted by Crystle at 2007-07-27 13:05:46 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by Caulaincourt at 2007-07-27 13:00:32 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

nice

Submitted by Shlongy at 2007-07-27 12:52:05 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

We must be long lost brothers.

Let's keep it that way.

Submitted by no1hasdis at 2007-07-27 12:50:25 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

Not bad, but not your best.

Submitted by skrapmetal at 2007-07-27 12:49:23 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

Submitted by ajanssen (user info) at 2007-07-27 12:42:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Needs more Charles Bronson
----------
The guy who issues the gun permits in Florida is named Charles Bronson. True story.

Also: real men who talk about real Hemis wouldn't be caught dead in one of those faggotty new ones.

Submitted by Bohme at 2007-07-27 12:48:52 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Next time at least put some effort into it.

Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH at 2007-07-27 12:47:48 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

cliche is a word faggots use

Submitted by Bohme at 2007-07-27 12:47:06 EDT (#)
Rating: -1

Cliche.

Submitted by HurtByTheSun at 2007-07-27 12:45:06 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by EatMeCompletely at 2007-07-27 12:44:55 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I can't believe that I'm doing this.

Submitted by SunnyG at 2007-07-27 12:44:49 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

You had me mesmerized until I read this:

I'll be out in the middle of the street flexin' my muscles and talkin' Nascar.


Nascar? Are you serious? Come on boshman, you can do better.

Submitted by scourge at 2007-07-27 12:44:26 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

real men rate this a +2

Submitted by ajanssen at 2007-07-27 12:42:44 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Needs more Charles Bronson


Asleep at the switch! I wasn't asleep! I was drunk!

-- Homer Simpson
Homer the Vigilante