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Okay I lied. Camwhore proof. I’m not a hobo. I appreciate the Nomads though….

Submitted by Merlina at 2007-10-08 06:09:51 EDT
Rating: 1.26 on 143 ratings (143 reviews) (Review this item) (V)

Many years ago whilst working in retail in London, I got used to the number of hobos, tramps, "sans domicile fixe", drug addicts and prostitutes working in and around the city.

Sad, but a fact of life.

When I was running a small shop on my own (called Sock Shop, incidentally) I would get the prostitutes coming in the store to steal underwear. I used to try to stop them until one horrible moment when I approached a female prostitute and after asking for the said knickers back she lifted her skirt high and said “but I NEED them”.

I kid you not – there were flies buzzing around her underwearless lady garden. *shudder*

I gave them to her in horror and paid for them myself.

Typically the police would get me to point out the ‘thief of the day’ outside the station – then pull them in for …oh I don’t know… an hour maybe. And then set them free to come back to my shop this time with a flick knife. Happy days..

There was one guy though…. a homeless chap who would pop his head round the door every day and say hi. He was really touched when I leant him a Pink Floyd tape (before cd's - yes, I know I'm ancient) that I was playing in the shop, trusting him to bring it back. And he did. They’re not all out for what they can get.

However, the Nomads of the world intrigue me. Such as Mbuti of the Ituri Rainforest in the Democratic Republic of the Congo. They sustain themselves by hunter-gathering in the forest. This is something that I wish I could do. They have an amazing knowledge of what you can and can’t eat and live a life so far removed from ones like ours.

In a way I wish I had the opportunity or time in my life to learn about what food is on and in the land around us.

Mushrooms for example. I want to be able to go into the forest and know the names of all of them and know which ones are poisionus. And berries…. I know elderberries from blackberries but…. little red ones? Will they kill me? Are they redcurrants – or will they kill me. Or make me high? Who knows?

Being homeless means so many different things. I pity. I admire.

But creature comforts are kind of hard to give up.


godIlook miserableinthis.JPG
godIlook miserableinthis.JPG


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Submitted by iambetteratit at 2007-10-18 19:05:58 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

hahaha look at the ugly, lonely woman doing comebacks! Hey, for 500 dollars ill hold your hand in public so you can feel cool by association!

Submitted by iambetteratit at 2007-10-13 12:32:56 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Eww dude

Submitted by ilikesteak at 2007-10-12 12:40:35 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by UTOCKIN2ME (user info) at 2007-10-12 04:07:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-10-08 12:29:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

You forgot your pointy hat.

What the fuck are you goin' at,tubesteak. You gonna lend her one of yer goofy hats. Why don't you pull that broomstick out yer ass while yer at it.

Anyway Merlina,interesting post. I was homeless when i was younger and doing the druggy thing- i kind of chose to be. Not too good during the -30c weather though. I understand your compassion.
Spoilt mama's boys like ilikesteak will never understand where you're coming from. I do possess survival tactics,not only from the streets and the corporate world.When i was in the militia i was stationed solo in Iqualuit-before it was ever thought to be a Canadian Territory. I was left there alone with a rations kit about the size of a six pack box,the clothes on my back,and an un-illustrated guide of survival in the wilderness for 60 days. I damn near missed the plane-I didn't have a watch and had to carve notches in a tree sun up ,sun down to keep track of the time. Now,steaks, he probably couldn't be away from his Lappy for an hour without wantin' to cry for his mama-hell she probably bought the thing fer him!


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1. I implied she looks like a witch.
2. She looks like a witch.
3. My hats are awesome, especially the pirate hat.
4. She looks like she'd use my awesome hats for black magic, or use them as part of a ritual sacrafice, and the hats are dry clean only, so no.
5. I see you're on a computer too.
6. Steak rather enjoys the wilderness, but I prefer comfort over needing to survive.
7. Too bad they didn't leave you there, as the world doesn't need a whiny pissant like you, depressing up the place.

Submitted by Serge N. Peckersnot at 2007-10-12 04:07:38 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-10-08 12:29:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

You forgot your pointy hat.

What the fuck are you goin' at,tubesteak. You gonna lend her one of yer goofy hats. Why don't you pull that broomstick out yer ass while yer at it.

Anyway Merlina,interesting post. I was homeless when i was younger and doing the druggy thing- i kind of chose to be. Not too good during the -30c weather though. I understand your compassion.
Spoilt mama's boys like ilikesteak will never understand where you're coming from. I do possess survival tactics,not only from the streets and the corporate world.When i was in the militia i was stationed solo in Iqualuit-before it was ever thought to be a Canadian Territory. I was left there alone with a rations kit about the size of a six pack box,the clothes on my back,and an un-illustrated guide of survival in the wilderness for 60 days. I damn near missed the plane-I didn't have a watch and had to carve notches in a tree sun up ,sun down to keep track of the time. Now,steaks, he probably couldn't be away from his Lappy for an hour without wantin' to cry for his mama-hell she probably bought the thing fer him!

Submitted by FatTony at 2007-10-09 14:52:39 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Celebrating Halloween early?

Submitted by Quint at 2007-10-09 13:35:42 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Irish whore.

Submitted by jamowilly40 at 2007-10-09 13:30:01 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Jesus.

You look QUITE miserable.

Submitted by pshuu at 2007-10-09 10:38:56 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

ew... hooker crotch!

Submitted by Merlina at 2007-10-09 10:04:41 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Thats good - I wouldn't want you to.

I get mine, thanks.

Submitted by Fatterrific at 2007-10-09 09:57:07 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Sorry lady, but I wouldn't fuck you with a borrowed dick.

Submitted by BubbaEarl at 2007-10-09 03:52:08 EDT (#)
Rating: -1

aiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

Submitted by orphelia at 2007-10-09 03:34:21 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Pretty eyes would sparkle a million times more with a smile.

Submitted by forensicgirl3 at 2007-10-08 19:21:03 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Thing is, I highly doubt he'd care.


Submitted by DeadToast at 2007-10-08 19:13:33 EDT (#)
Rating: 0


Submitted by Crystle at 2007-10-08 19:11:32 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

oooh ... not nice!

Submitted by forensicgirl3 at 2007-10-08 19:04:51 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Heh. I ought to take a picture of him bent over, head in the fridge, looking for something to eat, buck naked.




Submitted by Crystle at 2007-10-08 18:58:52 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

do it - do it - do it

Submitted by forensicgirl3 at 2007-10-08 18:48:55 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I've been sooo wanting to camwhore The Man just to mess with everyone.

I can almost hear the comments now.


Submitted by triangle_man at 2007-10-08 17:38:09 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Are you in Fleetwood Mac?

Submitted by inion_de_trua at 2007-10-08 17:25:50 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

it's a fuschia.

are those easy to kill? i'm not so good with easy to kill.

Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe at 2007-10-08 16:10:29 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

don't really mind the homeless - until they try and scab cigs off me. Then, i'm all kinds of affronted.

jedateesh, did I say that right? jedateesh?

Submitted by JonnyX at 2007-10-08 15:19:10 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-10-08 11:42:27 PDT (#)
Ranking: 2


SMILE
------
no kidding - you always have that 'freshly raped' look in all your camwhores...

Submitted by rob_berg at 2007-10-08 14:42:27 EDT (#)
Rating: 2


SMILE

Submitted by Method at 2007-10-08 14:24:11 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

ugh

Submitted by maiorano84 at 2007-10-08 14:15:49 EDT (#)
Rating: 2


HOLY BANGS BATMAN!!!!

Submitted by Merlina at 2007-10-08 14:02:36 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-10-08 13:24:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

seriously i saw this flower i wanted but i have no idea what it was. it was a very deep purplish red, hanging kind you knwo out ot of a pot. it kind of looked like some version of a lily but it was much smaller and the petals didn't stick out near as much as the top.

~~~~~~
could be a fushcia..

or an altroemeria?

check those two out on google and let me know..

Submitted by inion_de_trua at 2007-10-08 13:24:39 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

i was not drunk when i typed that, nor am i drunk now.


wtf?

Submitted by inion_de_trua at 2007-10-08 13:24:16 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

can you help me pick out flowers?

seriously i saw this flower i wanted but i have no idea what it was. it was a very deep purplish red, hanging kind you knwo out ot of a pot. it kind of looked like some version of a lily but it was much smaller and the petals didn't stick out near as much as the top.

i really really want it and i can't remember wher ei saw it :(

Submitted by inion_de_trua at 2007-10-08 13:21:59 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-10-08 11:06:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2007-10-08 10:57:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-10-08 10:38:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

I may have missed something here, why would an outdoor survival guide be neccesary in London? The nightlife isn't THAT dull.
~~~~~~~~~~
Yes it is. Inless you like clubs and parties which I don't.

I like learning about stuff, Berty. Far less dull that 'meatmarkets'. Or clubs.
----------------------
Perhaps you should start going to the theatre. Or folk concerts.

Perhaps you could rent a canal boat, you could start frequenting art galleries, mueseums or concerts.

Or fuck London. Instead you could check out the outlying areas. Perhaps find somewhere you can touch animals or something.
------

she could also just stay home and touch the bloke.

Submitted by rorrim at 2007-10-08 13:04:47 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

Submitted by Merlina at 2007-10-08 12:49:04 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by steph (user info) at 2007-10-08 12:24:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

You have gorgeous hair. How do you get it to look like that?
~~
thanks - its thick and wavy - drives me bananas.

Submitted by Merlina at 2007-10-08 12:48:27 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-10-08 11:07:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

You could go on walks with the Bloke and look at rocks and thi...

You know it's pretty tragic but even after having sort of known you for over 2 years I still do not know how you like to pass the time.
~~~~~~~~
Study (Science Honours degree at the OU part time)
Running (live near Epping Forest - literally at the end of our road go every morning for an hour)
Museums (Mostly the science - but like them all)
Plays/Theatre
Dinner out (Moroccan preferred)
Gardening
Folk festivals (Cambridge one is good)
Cooking (I do weddings occasionally)
Flowers (freelance florist so do small parties, weddings etc.)
Music (currently playing accoustic night on Tuesday nights in a pub in Camden Town)

Oh and work my day job for the London Underground (Project Manager)

I don't GET much spare time but I still like learning about stuff. :-)

Submitted by ilikesteak at 2007-10-08 12:29:43 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

You forgot your pointy hat.

Submitted by steph at 2007-10-08 12:24:27 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

You have gorgeous hair. How do you get it to look like that?

Submitted by c1ndy at 2007-10-08 12:21:42 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

hahha @ Crystle!

Submitted by Crystle at 2007-10-08 12:02:20 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

and exactly HOW is this photo proof you aren't a hobo? You look nekkid in it - you could very well be a nekkid homeless vagabond.



Although your eyes don't look quite hazy enough.

Submitted by Crystle at 2007-10-08 12:01:18 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

*gag*


well, then - yet ANOTHER reason I'll never want a prostitute.



Submitted by scourge at 2007-10-08 11:23:40 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

all homeless people call me 'Hey Buddy'

Submitted by Berty at 2007-10-08 11:17:01 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2007-10-08 11:13:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

I give cash to a few of the homeless around this city.

Except for "Angry Homeless Guy." He stays at the corner of Charles and Conway, smacking your car if you're not paying attention to him. He gets nothing.
-----------------
You could buy him some big gloves to prevent him from scratching your car.

Submitted by shadow at 2007-10-08 11:13:20 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I give cash to a few of the homeless around this city.

Except for "Angry Homeless Guy." He stays at the corner of Charles and Conway, smacking your car if you're not paying attention to him. He gets nothing.

Submitted by Berty at 2007-10-08 11:07:21 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

You could go on walks with the Bloke and look at rocks and thi...

You know it's pretty tragic but even after having sort of known you for over 2 years I still do not know how you like to pass the time.

Submitted by Berty at 2007-10-08 11:06:05 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2007-10-08 10:57:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-10-08 10:38:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

I may have missed something here, why would an outdoor survival guide be neccesary in London? The nightlife isn't THAT dull.
~~~~~~~~~~
Yes it is. Inless you like clubs and parties which I don't.

I like learning about stuff, Berty. Far less dull that 'meatmarkets'. Or clubs.
----------------------
Perhaps you should start going to the theatre. Or folk concerts.

Perhaps you could rent a canal boat, you could start frequenting art galleries, mueseums or concerts.

Or fuck London. Instead you could check out the outlying areas. Perhaps find somewhere you can touch animals or something.

Submitted by EmissionImpossible at 2007-10-08 11:02:19 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Once, a man with a glove, stuck his finger up my bum, he wasnt wearing the glove but slapping me across the face with it, calling me Hugh.

im not hugh :(

Submitted by Orgasmatron at 2007-10-08 11:01:03 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

A camwhore is good for at least 135 reviews.

Submitted by Berty at 2007-10-08 10:59:32 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by Hilarity_Ensues (user info) at 2007-10-08 10:56:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Berty, everyone knows that HIV doesn't live outside it's host for more than a few minutes.
---------------
That's what lying thereapists tell you in order for you to take your gloves off and infect you with neurosis. It is a conspiracy.

Submitted by EmissionImpossible at 2007-10-08 10:59:00 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

wow i can spell when im looking at boobies.

malteser

like

Submitted by Merlina at 2007-10-08 10:58:18 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

*unless

Submitted by Merlina at 2007-10-08 10:57:39 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-10-08 10:38:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

I may have missed something here, why would an outdoor survival guide be neccesary in London? The nightlife isn't THAT dull.
~~~~~~~~~~
Yes it is. Inless you like clubs and parties which I don't.

I like learning about stuff, Berty. Far less dull that 'meatmarkets'. Or clubs.

Submitted by EmissionImpossible at 2007-10-08 10:57:19 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

i love having this facial herpes....feels liek i havea mateser stuck in the corner of my mouth.

Submitted by Hilarity_Ensues at 2007-10-08 10:56:53 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Berty, everyone knows that HIV doesn't live outside it's host for more than a few minutes.

Submitted by EmissionImpossible at 2007-10-08 10:56:25 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Oh Hilarity, please say you love me, I love you guyyyyyyyyyyyyysssssssssss.

Submitted by Hilarity_Ensues at 2007-10-08 10:55:21 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

You know, it's really nice of the people at the Adult Daycare facility to let you use the computer.

Submitted by Berty at 2007-10-08 10:55:10 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-10-08 10:48:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

I know cold sores are a form of herpes BUT Hilarity is a slag so it doesn't count.


Could i get it from a swimming pool? Because i sure havent been kissing many people recently.......*puke*
---------
Don't go down that route Emission. If you do you'll be out needing a dump but too scared to use the loo for fear of catching some manner of hepititis from the toilet seat. Soon after that you'll be out buying a pair of trousers and you'll pick a pair up, start thinking "hey these pants do not look like crap, in fact I might even go so far as to say they are not horrible at all".

You won't be able to try them on though. You won't be able to shake the image of some guy hacking and coughing in the fitting room whilst his crack-head girlfriend sucks his HIV infested jizz out of his cock and dribbles it into the crotch. It won't be long after that that you'll become a crazy person interrogating the retail staff on how regularly they wash clothes and whether they expose them to an irradiation sterilisation process.

Submitted by EmissionImpossible at 2007-10-08 10:53:44 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

what you say is what you are :P

Submitted by Hilarity_Ensues at 2007-10-08 10:53:05 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

He may be my boyfriend, but at least I'm smart enough to make him wear a condom.

RETARD.

Submitted by EmissionImpossible at 2007-10-08 10:51:39 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by Hilarity_Ensues (user info) at 2007-10-08 15:50:27 BST (#)
Ranking: 2

EI, just stop smoking infected pole. You'll be okay
-------------------------------

Hey he's your boyfriend.

Submitted by NintendoCzar at 2007-10-08 10:50:48 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Mushrooms* aw fuck

Submitted by NintendoCzar at 2007-10-08 10:50:34 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Regarding mushrooms, I Know the red ones make you grow, the green ones give you an extra life, the ones with no eyes are blocks, and the purple ones are poisonous.

If you need it, I have a shirt that explains this. :P

Submitted by Hilarity_Ensues at 2007-10-08 10:50:27 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

EI, just stop smoking infected pole. You'll be okay.

Submitted by EmissionImpossible at 2007-10-08 10:48:08 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I know cold sores are a form of herpes BUT Hilarity is a slag so it doesn't count.


Could i get it from a swimming pool? Because i sure havent been kissing many people recently.......*puke*

Submitted by Berty at 2007-10-08 10:46:18 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Cold sores are caused by a form of herpes, Emission.

Submitted by HurtByTheSun at 2007-10-08 10:46:16 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-10-08 15:45:27 BST (#)
Ranking: 2

Oh Hilarity you slag, put up or shut up.

This bwoy from da hood dont have no herpes.

=========

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *dies*

Submitted by EmissionImpossible at 2007-10-08 10:45:27 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Oh Hilarity you slag, put up or shut up.

This bwoy from da hood dont have no herpes.

Submitted by CaptainThorns at 2007-10-08 10:44:10 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

woot!

Submitted by dronebee at 2007-10-08 10:44:04 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

Submitted by Hilarity_Ensues at 2007-10-08 10:44:02 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

EI has herpes. Pass it on.

Submitted by EmissionImpossible at 2007-10-08 10:38:06 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

fuck cold sores and fuck the police for not helping me with it.

Submitted by Berty at 2007-10-08 10:38:02 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2007-10-08 10:35:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-10-08 10:28:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

It's always good to know such things, just because.
~~~~~~~~~~
Absofuckinglutly.

Thanks, think I'll look into it.
------------
I may have missed something here, why would an outdoor survival guide be neccesary in London? The nightlife isn't THAT dull.

Submitted by Merlina at 2007-10-08 10:35:33 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-10-08 10:28:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

It's always good to know such things, just because.
~~~~~~~~~~
Absofuckinglutly.

Thanks, think I'll look into it.

Submitted by Hilarity_Ensues at 2007-10-08 10:30:36 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-10-08 10:27:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

OMG YOU LOOK LIKE A HUMAN FEMALE!

I BET YOUR REPRODUCTIVE ORGANS ARE INTERNAL!


THEY'RE PUTTING IN NEW CARPET IN MY OFFICE AND THE FUMES HAVE ME FEELING ODD.
---------
You know, in heavily occupied areas, they're supposed to open the window when they do that. Well, unless it's cold, then you can't.

Submitted by monkeyswithguns at 2007-10-08 10:28:56 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

What Mudwhistle said below was good advice, also, you may be able to find classes in your local area, which helps much more as you'll be able to see what the plants look like in real life, as opposed to pictures in books, which can be misleading.
It's always good to know such things, just because.

Submitted by scourge at 2007-10-08 10:27:41 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

OMG YOU LOOK LIKE A HUMAN FEMALE!

I BET YOUR REPRODUCTIVE ORGANS ARE INTERNAL!


THEY'RE PUTTING IN NEW CARPET IN MY OFFICE AND THE FUMES HAVE ME FEELING ODD.

Submitted by inion_de_trua at 2007-10-08 10:26:14 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2007-10-08 10:13:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-10-08 10:05:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

nearly twice so :D

yes, i do invite violence upon me.
~~~~~
ha haha..

..listen lady, at 37 I'm probably old enough to be your mother.


Repect the elderly please.
------

hey i may have almost been a bastard (catholic definition) but my mom waited til she was at least my age to get knocked up with me. pre-teenage motherhood is only for my cousins. wait a minute...

Submitted by kaos-king at 2007-10-08 10:20:15 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by Merlina at 2007-10-08 10:19:25 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by Hilarity_Ensues (user info) at 2007-10-08 10:14:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

No you're not, Merlina. Well, not unless you were tramping around at 12.
~~~~
God is inion 25 already?

bless her... lil' girlies growing up..

ha ha ha

Submitted by Hilarity_Ensues at 2007-10-08 10:14:24 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

No you're not, Merlina. Well, not unless you were tramping around at 12.

Submitted by EmissionImpossible at 2007-10-08 10:14:11 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Yeah noonie *sticks tongue out*

Submitted by Merlina at 2007-10-08 10:13:01 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-10-08 10:05:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

nearly twice so :D

yes, i do invite violence upon me.
~~~~~
ha haha..

..listen lady, at 37 I'm probably old enough to be your mother.


Repect the elderly please.

Submitted by EmissionImpossible at 2007-10-08 10:11:16 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Merlina go give noonie a slap.

She wants to stab me.

Submitted by inion_de_trua at 2007-10-08 10:05:16 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2007-10-08 09:27:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Nice to see a comment on the writing part of the post - wish I hadn't posted some random average pic of myself now. I just get comments of how I should look. I don't really care about how I look as long as I'm clean and presentable. My life is fulfilling and varied without the botox...

AND YES I KNOW I NEED IT BUT I'M OLDER THAN MOST OF YOU SO STFU !

:P
------

nearly twice so :D

yes, i do invite violence upon me.

Submitted by EmissionImpossible at 2007-10-08 10:03:48 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Theres a documentary knocking around about him, will do my best to seek it out and see if any copies exist, very interesting.

Submitted by lungfish at 2007-10-08 10:02:22 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

There he is. Thanks EI. Love that guy.

Submitted by EmissionImpossible at 2007-10-08 09:56:30 EDT (#)
Rating: 2


Submitted by lungfish at 2007-10-08 09:47:20 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Jackie Wright!!!

Submitted by EmissionImpossible at 2007-10-08 09:41:03 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I always like under a rock, its my favourite place for liking :)

Submitted by EmissionImpossible at 2007-10-08 09:40:04 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

You are soooo like a rock Hilarity

Submitted by Hilarity_Ensues at 2007-10-08 09:39:33 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Asking that question made me feel like I like under a rock for some reason.

Submitted by Merlina at 2007-10-08 09:38:31 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

old British comedian... really silly, but funny in a way.

Submitted by Hilarity_Ensues at 2007-10-08 09:37:39 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

What's Benny Hill?

Submitted by Merlina at 2007-10-08 09:35:11 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-10-08 09:34:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Think Benny hill with cripples.
~~~~~
HA ha ha ha

Submitted by EmissionImpossible at 2007-10-08 09:34:06 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

As far as homeless people go, there are always stories behind every one and I find that interesting.

Once my friend refused to give money to a tramp in a wheelchair , well didnt refuse but just walked past, so the guy chases after my mate whilst in the wheelchair, it was the best thing I have ever seen......

Think Benny hill with cripples.

Submitted by Hilarity_Ensues at 2007-10-08 09:32:56 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by Merlina at 2007-10-08 09:27:44 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Nice to see a comment on the writing part of the post - wish I hadn't posted some random average pic of myself now. I just get comments of how I should look. I don't really care about how I look as long as I'm clean and presentable. My life is fulfilling and varied without the botox...

AND YES I KNOW I NEED IT BUT I'M OLDER THAN MOST OF YOU SO STFU !

:P

Submitted by forensicgirl3 at 2007-10-08 09:21:21 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

When I was running a small shop on my own (called Sock Shop, incidentally) I would get the prostitutes coming in the store to steal underwear. I used to try to stop them until one horrible moment when I approached a female prostitute and after asking for the said knickers back she lifted her skirt high and said "but I NEED them".

I kid you not - there were flies buzzing around her underwearless lady garden. *shudder*


==


*shudder* is right!

Out comes the Lysol!

Submitted by EmissionImpossible at 2007-10-08 09:14:52 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

If you notice in my photos I dont smile, mainly because I hate my photo being taken. False situation and all, pull a mad face that shows your character oh and reply to my hearfelt email trampy.

Submitted by inion_de_trua at 2007-10-08 09:10:08 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

audobon society does field guides you know. with vivid pretty pictures too.

st jimmy has a point. at least if you smile and still look like shit you can say the camera hates you.

Submitted by Merlina at 2007-10-08 09:07:06 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-10-08 09:00:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

I have a Lynyrd Skynyd 8-track cassette.
~~~~~~~
I've got a Simon & Garfunkle 8-track cassette, lost the machine a few years ago though..


Submitted by St_Jimmy at 2007-10-08 09:04:33 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2007-10-08 06:25:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

ha ha ha - all the unsettles me is how MISERABLE I look in photos.

Cameras really don't like me.

________________

A bit of advice. When somebody points a camera at you, SMILE! A simple smile can do more to improve one's appearance than hundreds of dollars of makeup and hours of prep time.

Submitted by lungfish at 2007-10-08 09:00:11 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I have a Lynyrd Skynyd 8-track cassette.

Submitted by EmissionImpossible at 2007-10-08 08:53:34 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

hmmmmph

Submitted by Brdn_Nkd at 2007-10-08 08:40:29 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by Merlina at 2007-10-08 08:31:30 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-10-08 07:23:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Ah Merlina, good morning chica.

If you want to know what to eat start buying some Survival Books, the SAS release quite a few good ones but stick to ones that are published for your specific area.
~~~~~~~~~
good advice, thank you..

Submitted by Leonore at 2007-10-08 08:23:50 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Interesting thought.

I don't think I could be nomadic...it isn't the creature comforts that's got me hung up (although those are nice); I just really like the idea of having a home base, somewhere safe I can return to that's mine and mine alone to do with what I wish.

I'm not sure if that's materialistic or xenophobic or what.

Submitted by Danger_Ranger at 2007-10-08 08:19:32 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

And THEN, the biatch implored me, come to bed sparta, but then I found, after tapping the bed with my hands,

that there was no biatch. So lo I rolled over, peeking under the sheets, and chuckled, for there was no reason to, but yet,

i

did.

and THIS, *THIS*, was george greganism, and you would be.....































DEAD.

Submitted by firefly at 2007-10-08 08:15:31 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

Submitted by HurtByTheSun at 2007-10-08 08:12:32 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by nicballs (user info) at 2007-10-08 13:11:27 BST (#)
Ranking: -2

My next trick is dubbed, "killing myself" by hurtbythesun. Maybe I'll even turn it into a 9 post series.

============

If it takes you 9 goes, you're not doing it right.

Submitted by nicballs at 2007-10-08 08:11:27 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

My next trick is dubbed, "killing myself" by hurtbythesun. Maybe I'll even turn it into a 9 post series.

Submitted by HurtByTheSun at 2007-10-08 08:10:37 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2007-10-08 13:08:40 BST (#)
Ranking: 2

and yea, even though I wondered why the fuck our name not be onst the trophy a third, the devil spake to me in it's stupid tongue, and said, oi, fuckstick. Me I implored? Nay, I speak of the cad and usurper, hurt in the bum, and he will be even more gheyre than the beast of latin satan, and he will succumb, knowingly, for he wants it in his arse, and spake of it before the council, and when they ewed he exclaimed before them, get behind me ewe, for I know no polynesian, and doth he spake, but then shagged the ewe knowingly, hoping it was a ram, and that ye, no 'he', would,

get,

HIS.

============

That was fucking awesome dude. Shame you still got fucked by the worthless English. At least we got beat by a side who deserve to be where they are.

Submitted by Danger_Ranger at 2007-10-08 08:10:22 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

so sayeth the gaylord - jake.

Submitted by HurtByTheSun at 2007-10-08 08:09:42 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by nicballs (user info) at 2007-10-08 13:07:33 BST (#)
Ranking: 0

Piss harvesting, yes. Does that ruin my uber cred already? For shame if I am not liked by you, sir. Whatever shall I do?

==============

Probably. Kill yourself?

Submitted by Danger_Ranger at 2007-10-08 08:08:40 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

and yea, even though I wondered why the fuck our name not be onst the trophy a third, the devil spake to me in it's stupid tongue, and said, oi, fuckstick. Me I implored? Nay, I speak of the cad and usurper, hurt in the bum, and he will be even more gheyre than the beast of latin satan, and he will succumb, knowingly, for he wants it in his arse, and spake of it before the council, and when they ewed he exclaimed before them, get behind me ewe, for I know no polynesian, and doth he spake, but then shagged the ewe knowingly, hoping it was a ram, and that ye, no 'he', would,

get,

HIS.

Submitted by nicballs at 2007-10-08 08:07:33 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Piss harvesting, yes. Does that ruin my uber cred already? For shame if I am not liked by you, sir. Whatever shall I do?

Submitted by HurtByTheSun at 2007-10-08 08:04:44 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by nicballs (user info) at 2007-10-08 13:04:08 BST (#)
Ranking: 0

Enjoy my good hate for what it is and nothing more. I will not be camwhoring because I've been requested to at the hand of some internet losers (read, everyone on this site, myself included). I'll bask, enjoy, and relish in my internet anonymity...

===========

Aren't you the guy who wrote a bunch of stories about piss?

Submitted by nicballs at 2007-10-08 08:04:08 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Enjoy my good hate for what it is and nothing more. I will not be camwhoring because I've been requested to at the hand of some internet losers (read, everyone on this site, myself included). I'll bask, enjoy, and relish in my internet anonymity...

Submitted by HurtByTheSun at 2007-10-08 08:00:00 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

LO, THERE BE NO NARY A MORE DEFEATED RACE THAN THE *AUSTRALIANS*

Submitted by Danger_Ranger at 2007-10-08 07:47:03 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

nicballs might be a douche but is a pretty decent poster. You're right though, in calling him or her out. There are way too many pimpley faced virgins like phuzzy on this site pretending they are beautiful. I can say this of course, because I AM beautiful.

the rest of you will just have to squabble over the scraps.

and being beautiful is not a crime, I was *born* this way, there are things called 'genetics' (read how beautiful I am), and things called just plain old pot luck (read how unbeautiful the english french suud afrikans are), but LO, THERE BE NO NARY A MORE BEAUTIFUL RACE THAN THE *AUSTRALIANS*, for they are a gift from god, and an immaculate force who sway the the seasons and the times, for they are just, and robustly forthright, and THIS, IS, RIGHT, and forever after, and who-sayeth that it not be so, well they are gay, that is RIGHT and LET it be so, for they are awesome, yet not for their aboriginals, who are now....dead.

so sayeth the scribes, and the people before them and those that came before those, AUSTRALIA,

is,

the.....




































PEOPLES.

yea.

Submitted by Timmaaaaah at 2007-10-08 07:34:29 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

WOW!

Submitted by EmissionImpossible at 2007-10-08 07:34:03 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Oh yeah an alters photo! How great will that be!

Submitted by Merlina at 2007-10-08 07:28:28 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by nicballs (user info) at 2007-10-08 07:24:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

What the fuck is wrong with you people? The person in this picture is grossly hideous. If I piled boulders on her face and made her wear a birthday hat over her bulldog saddlebags then maybe I'd consider it for a novelty porn.
~~~
Good hate. Bravo!!!

Now.. post yourself so I can do the same. IF you're brave enough and can handle it.

Submitted by nicballs at 2007-10-08 07:24:32 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

What the fuck is wrong with you people? The person in this picture is grossly hideous. If I piled boulders on her face and made her wear a birthday hat over her bulldog saddlebags then maybe I'd consider it for a novelty porn.

Submitted by MudWhistle at 2007-10-08 07:23:30 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Ah Merlina, good morning chica.

If you want to know what to eat start buying some Survival Books, the SAS release quite a few good ones but stick to ones that are published for your specific area.


and forget about mushrooms, there is literally no room for error you either have a 100% true identification or you could shut down your central nervous system.

and don't eat anything milky or that smells like almonds.

well except almonds'

Submitted by EmissionImpossible at 2007-10-08 07:22:52 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

When I tuck my peeny between my legs they call me Felicity.


Felicity Gruffman

Submitted by Danger_Ranger at 2007-10-08 07:17:33 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

erm...no. i like a girl. and she's not you. not even in a bizarro comic would she be you. or in an intergalatic space war, or a previous life where i was a guy at the somme,

no

fucking

way.

Submitted by Merlina at 2007-10-08 07:16:05 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-10-08 07:11:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

I am sorry Merlina but that is probably the worst picture I have ever seen of you. I would probably go so far as to say that that is the worst picture of you that has ever been taken.
~~~~~~
okay

*slinks off*

Submitted by EmissionImpossible at 2007-10-08 07:11:24 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

DR are you flirting with me?

Submitted by Berty at 2007-10-08 07:11:13 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

I am sorry Merlina but that is probably the worst picture I have ever seen of you. I would probably go so far as to say that that is the worst picture of you that has ever been taken.

Submitted by Danger_Ranger at 2007-10-08 07:09:54 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

omg liek typo. my eyes are number ONE, EI you dickwad. tard. whatever. I have the most beautiful eyes in the interent. net. world. WORD.

(i am stil beside my grammar what with the rug by and all. 'rugby'. fuck. Did, you, know, that I placed a massive but moderate wager on your team coming first merlina, as an outside bet?)

THANKS FOR NOTHING BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIATCH

Submitted by EmissionImpossible at 2007-10-08 07:06:47 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Oh you blubbering vagina! My eyes are wonderful!! Dont tell me you cant get lost in my dreamy pupils??

Pah Pah plop


Submitted by Danger_Ranger at 2007-10-08 07:04:18 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-10-08 06:51:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Awww DR I know you love nmy eyes but I didn't realise I was your number one.
-----------------
ermmm...*my* eyes are number you dicktard.

good grief.


and sock pocket? I know about the coming out false thing - williamson told me at a hetro party.

Submitted by Merlina at 2007-10-08 07:00:24 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2007-10-08 06:48:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

You have the second most prettiful eyes on the internet.
~~~~~~~~~
thanks sweet ranger.

I can't smile at cameras - it comes out just really false. Every time.

Submitted by EmissionImpossible at 2007-10-08 06:51:55 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Awww DR I know you love nmy eyes but I didn't realise I was your number one.

Submitted by EmissionImpossible at 2007-10-08 06:51:06 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Damn you , im at work. Merlina which are your boobies?

Submitted by Danger_Ranger at 2007-10-08 06:48:10 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

jw how come you're never smiling? I mean how come? All that hippy miss freelove and never any teeth. You're all world cup and no flashing pretty. Fuck we lost the world cup too and we we were legit. don't be down special soldier.

oh-0h, open up the sun, and let, the sun.

shine.

in...

You have the second most prettiful eyes on the internet.

Submitted by HurtByTheSun at 2007-10-08 06:45:43 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

PS, ATTN EI:

http://www.ubersite.com/m/59505

Merlina is in there somewhere.

Submitted by TheGoat at 2007-10-08 06:40:56 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-10-08 11:27:48 BST (#)
Ranking: 2

Well maybe an action photo next time or a boob photo, yes a boob photo.

Submitted by HurtByTheSun at 2007-10-08 06:39:19 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2007-10-08 11:34:59 BST (#)
Ranking: 0

Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-10-08 06:32:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

It also kind of looks like you got punched in the face too.
~~~~~~~~~~
It does doesn't it.

I told you - cameras don't like me

FUGLY

===========

I wouldn't go that far. 'Defeated' is more the look you've mastered.

Nicholas Angel: All right, what about this guy? Ask yourself, why has he got his hat pulled down like that?

Danny Butterman: He's fuck-ugly.

Nicholas Angel: Or, he doesn't want you to see his face.

Danny Butterman: 'Cause he's fuck-ugly.

Submitted by EmissionImpossible at 2007-10-08 06:37:01 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Pot, kettle, black.

Submitted by Merlina at 2007-10-08 06:34:59 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-10-08 06:32:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

It also kind of looks like you got punched in the face too.
~~~~~~~~~~
It does doesn't it.

I told you - cameras don't like me

FUGLY

Submitted by HurtByTheSun at 2007-10-08 06:32:53 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2007-10-08 11:25:12 BST (#)
Ranking: 0

ha ha ha - all the unsettles me is how MISERABLE I look in photos.

Cameras really don't like me.

===========

It also kind of looks like you got punched in the face too.

Submitted by EmissionImpossible at 2007-10-08 06:27:48 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Well maybe an action photo next time or a boob photo, yes a boob photo.


Submitted by Merlina at 2007-10-08 06:25:12 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

ha ha ha - all the unsettles me is how MISERABLE I look in photos.

Cameras really don't like me.

Submitted by HurtByTheSun at 2007-10-08 06:23:06 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

There's something deeply unsettling about that photo.

Submitted by EmissionImpossible at 2007-10-08 06:21:08 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Uhhhhh prostitutes, but yummm Merlina, email me ho bag.


Stealing?! How could you?! Haven't you learned anything from that
guy who gives those sermons at church? Captain What's-his-name?

-- Homer Simpson
Marge Be Not Proud