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(NSFW) Grueberfest '07 R2: The Giant Gaping Betentacled Horse's Vagina o' Doom from the Tenth Level of Hell

Submitted by CaptainThorns at 2007-10-10 10:32:43 EDT
Rating: 1.16 on 47 ratings (47 reviews) (Review this item) (V)

Bet you didn't expect me to use one of the joke titles, did you, TTOM. Well, OK, maybe you did. Anyway, I've got stuff to worry about this week all of a sudden, so actually writing something is low on my list of things to do. So enjoy this instead as TTOM destroys me in this round that I shouldn't have even been in if not for Axolotl forfeiting last round. Cheerio.

______________________________________________


Defeat this gruesome creature and you will gain access to the Eleventh Level of Hell, and the Supreme Overlord of Hades himself...Bart Cilfone.

Many have battled this beast...all have failed.

Will YOU succeed?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Enemy: The Giant Gaping Betentacled Horse's Vagina o' Doom from the Tenth Level of Hell
HP: 666
MP: -1.67
Strength: Infinite
Defense: -2.00
Speed: 2.00
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


undisputably_the_scariest_and_most_gruesome_entry_yet.JPG
undisputably_the_scariest_and_most_gruesome_entry_yet.JPG


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Submitted by grÜeMaster emeritus and uberlord supreme at 2013-02-19 13:28:27 EST (#)
Rating: -2

linking your own posts is gay

Submitted by willartstorg at 2011-07-06 18:52:13 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I missed this post way back then, thank God.

Submitted by Poots at 2011-07-06 15:39:14 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

soda pop and cigarettes also. sometimes beer but that can get pretty damn ugly.

My dm was very drunk one night and, as I was a bachelor who constantly had a person on the couch that never cleaned up after himself even though he said he would and made a carpet out of pizza boxes and ashtrays out of empty-partially empty beer cans, he gave us 25 xp to kill gnats. We had to bring him the carcass to get the xp but those gnat sons of bitches WERE everywhere putting their little gnat butts on things.

Submitted by Poots at 2011-07-06 15:23:24 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

True dat FALLEN.

Submitted by FALLEN at 2011-07-06 14:57:04 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

MTG and WOW are for no imagination having, children.

dice, hex-paper, a few books and the odd lead miniature...these are tools of a true gamer

Submitted by Poots at 2011-07-06 14:10:58 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

It is god damn confusing keeping all of those things together.

I haven't played either in over 5 years.

Submitted by Poots at 2011-07-06 14:09:04 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

wait a second. When I said we discuss things in the video game(battlegrounds) in terms of mana and not the card game it's because in the video game you have a bar that drains after you cast a spell then replenishes itself over a period of time and by tapping the y button over and over on x-box.

You can say it's your MP because it's barred out there for you as if you have received points for standing there doing nothing although you couldn't say, "I have 50 mana points" becuase it doesn't tell you how much damn mana you have. You can say "I have 3/4 of a bar" etc etc.

In the card game it would be bad form to say "how many mana points do you have." You just simply ask how much mana do you have.

BAH! fuck it. IT'S JUST MANA, MAN!

Submitted by Poots at 2011-07-06 14:03:15 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

BOTH! AND PROUD OF IT!

We discuss things in mtg the video game not even the card game in terms of mana not magix and you don't have mana points in mtg or dnd. In mtg you have counters for things like

Bolt of Fury
Instant, 2B
Choose one: put two -1/-1 counters on target creature; or target player
gets 2 poison counters.

or some things create counters if you pump em up with MANA! THAT'S WHAT IT'S CALLED IN MTG! http://wiki.mtgsalvation.com/article/Mana

and really, you'd have to be pretty damn geeky to call it magic points....because the geeks will make fun of you. I guess that really warps some king of socio-iconoclastic geek thing there by making you a non geek. But still, who wants to be known as the stupid guy who tried to sound like he knew what he was talking about by saying,"hey dude how many magic points do you have on your magic stack there?"
You'd get laughed right out of any comic book store.


http://viberunner.files.wordpress.com/2006/08/mtg_cards.jpg

See the top right corner of the card? that is how much mana you have to pay to play the card. In mtg mana is just a resource card. You magically pull those resources to summon beasts and spells and vaginas/star wars jokes.


For instance Lord of the undead takes 1 mana of any color and two black mana.




You just have a limited number of spells you can cast per day in dnd. I never played 1.0 or 2.0....but many variants of 3.0 and 3.5.

Maybe I got the ass backwards kentucky version or you've never played either of those things.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Magic:_The_Gathering_keywords

I think you may be thinking of Final Fantasy or Star Ocean or some shit.

Submitted by FALLEN at 2011-07-06 13:43:07 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

garraghhh mineeyes!!!
damn you 4 year old Thorny post

Submitted by CaptainThorns at 2011-07-06 13:20:39 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

HP = Hit Points
MP = Magic Points

I take it you never played Magic: The Gathering or Dungeons and Dragons?

Submitted by Poots at 2011-07-06 12:30:19 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Agreed. This one is better. Don't know what to make of those stats though.

Enemy: The Giant Gaping Betentacled Horse's Vagina o' Doom from the Tenth Level of Hell
HP: 666
MP: -1.67
Strength: Infinite
Defense: -2.00
Speed: 2.00

For instance. Wth is MP? Man periods? Military Police? Milk Pussy? Makeup Pants? Mighty Porcupine?....I'm lost on it. Like some word labyrinth that I could go on forever guessing and probably never get the right answer. Moss Poop? Why is moss poop negative? Is it good to have negative moss poop or man periods or what the hell ever? Seems bad as in not good bad not michael jackson bad which is for some reason good. On a side note I think if you put all the songs that michael jackson sang and possibly just the titles of those songs you will find a full confession of his raping of children.


So, considering that I don't know what MP is I have to guess that 666 is a really tough Hick Propeller...Just kidding his hit points must be pretty high if he is proclaimed to be such a bad ass.

Strength, I have to argue with you on that one. His strength may be strong but not infinitely strong. He's tough horses vagina as horses vaginas go but I've seen him throw plenty of errant passes to the second basemen. He, of course, plays short stop and sometimes I've even seen him throw like a girl. Like he really wants to hide the fact that he likes playing like a girl but in order to keep things under his control he has to display a deep hetero male that doesn't dance like michael stipe while he sings old punk songs. You've seen it! I know you have. I'm not trying to take anything away from the guy but anyone who occasionally throws like a girl and regularly dances like michael stipe while singing old punk songs can't have an infinite strength. And that's that.

He's got a horrible defense. It's just ragged. I agree with you. His defense is bad i.e. "your gayer than the last gay thing I said." "I hate rob berg and you are like him" "You are gay" "You suck much worse than having nothing better to do all day but go on the internet and be either queer or manly" But you wouldn't expect that from such a Giant Gaping Betentacled Horse's Vagina o' Doom.


I don't get the speed. I guess when you got dicks dangling out of your gaping butt cave you kind of run slow. That and the oldness. So I do get it. I just don't understand how he's deserving or even earned such a status, not that he isn't, when he sucks so bad.

Submitted by JoeyG at 2008-10-13 02:47:41 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Whoa, fuck......that's freakin' awesome!

Submitted by ghola at 2007-10-12 09:53:43 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

Submitted by CaptainThorns at 2007-10-12 09:04:20 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-10-11 19:06:21 CDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Oh man that is fucking disgusting.
------------------------------------

As the picture title says...the most gruesome Grueberfest entry yet. :p

Submitted by lungfish at 2007-10-11 20:06:21 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Oh man that is fucking disgusting.

Submitted by HotWillie at 2007-10-11 18:41:28 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

GRUESOME

Submitted by forensicgirl3 at 2007-10-11 16:25:18 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Again I'll say; There is something wrong with you.

Submitted by JonnyX at 2007-10-11 11:25:57 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Submitted by St_Jimmy at 2007-10-10 20:09:57 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2007-10-10 12:49:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

sorry cap'n

Submitted by Fucking foul at 2007-10-10 18:23:11 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

aahahahahaha

Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys at 2007-10-10 17:01:21 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Holy fuck that is wrong and shall haunt my nightmares. Mission accomplished Captain, bring her home.

*nurr nurr nurr nur-nur-nur nur-nur, nurrr nurr nurr nurr nur-nur-nur nurrr* (Theme tune to The Dambusters)

Submitted by Brdn_Nkd at 2007-10-10 15:07:11 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

W O W.....











BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRFFFFFFFF

Submitted by shadow at 2007-10-10 14:51:12 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Is there a word to describe this stronger than "vomit"?

I don't think so. So, uh, grats... i think.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2007-10-10 14:46:06 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

LET ME DRAG OUT ALL OF MY ALTERS AND SEE WHAT SHLONGY CAN DO.

Submitted by CaptainThorns at 2007-10-10 14:10:55 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2007-10-10 11:49:26 CDT (#)
Ranking: -2

sorry cap'n
------------------

No worries. I was fully expecting to be slaughtered...and am astounded that this was riding in the lead for a short while at 1.91 of 2.00. Ah well. There's still nigh on four days left for voting, so who knows...

Submitted by scourge at 2007-10-10 14:03:32 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

disturbing

Submitted by Shlongy at 2007-10-10 13:40:04 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Well, I GUESS this counts as scoring with another Uber broad...

Submitted by Shlongy at 2007-10-10 13:39:08 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

OH lordy lordy ....fuck.

Submitted by mockidol at 2007-10-10 13:34:50 EDT (#)
Rating: -1

Submitted by beeltea at 2007-10-10 12:49:26 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

sorry cap'n

Submitted by nicballs at 2007-10-10 11:17:32 EDT (#)
Rating: 2


Submitted by Hilarity_Ensues at 2007-10-10 11:17:22 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Or.....

Longbane
Shlongbane
Urlongy
Banelongy


Oh, what a fun game. This picture makes me happy.

Submitted by hour_man at 2007-10-10 11:15:30 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-10-10 11:14:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Submitted by jamowilly40 (user info) at 2007-10-10 10:57:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

HAHAHAHAHA

Shlongy + Urbane = Shlobane


============

Urbongy sounds better.

--------

Umbongo they drink it in the jungle....

Submitted by HurtByTheSun at 2007-10-10 11:14:43 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by jamowilly40 (user info) at 2007-10-10 15:57:06 BST (#)
Ranking: 2

HAHAHAHAHA

Shlongy + Urbane = Shlobane

=====

GOLD.

Submitted by MudWhistle at 2007-10-10 11:14:38 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by jamowilly40 (user info) at 2007-10-10 10:57:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

HAHAHAHAHA

Shlongy + Urbane = Shlobane


============

Urbongy sounds better.

Submitted by Badlands at 2007-10-10 11:13:26 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

That is just wrong on so many levels.

Submitted by skrapmetal at 2007-10-10 11:04:03 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

GAH!

Submitted by jamowilly40 at 2007-10-10 10:57:06 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

HAHAHAHAHA

Shlongy + Urbane = Shlobane

Submitted by EmissionImpossible at 2007-10-10 10:56:42 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Thats one huge bitching finger, Shlongy takes it with ease though.

Submitted by monkeyswithguns at 2007-10-10 10:52:46 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by FALLEN at 2007-10-10 10:46:00 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

blaaarrrrff!!

Submitted by hour_man at 2007-10-10 10:42:44 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I laughed

Submitted by HurtByTheSun at 2007-10-10 10:42:34 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Oh. My. God.

Submitted by Hilarity_Ensues at 2007-10-10 10:38:39 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

BWHAHAHAHA.... WINNAR!

Submitted by MudWhistle at 2007-10-10 10:35:09 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

i'm....befuddled

bewildered

aroused maybe?

Submitted by Ballare at 2007-10-10 10:34:37 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

JESUS CHRIST

Submitted by CaptainThorns at 2007-10-10 10:33:11 EDT (#)
Rating: 0



Out at five, catch General Sherman at five-thirty, clean him at six, eat
him at six-thirty, back in bed by seven with no incriminating evidence.
Heh heh heh. The perfect crime.

-- Homer Simpson
The War of the Simpsons