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The BOSH Man! SHARES HIS FUCKING POWER KNOWLEDGE!!

Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH at 2007-11-02 12:00:16 EDT
Rating: 1.67 on 97 ratings (97 reviews) (Review this item) (V)

Warning.

If you don’t want to cream your jeans, or get your ass blown up, you may want to consider closing your web browser and never returning to this post again. On a similar yet unrelated topic, if you are currently ovulating, please follow suit, because the author is extremely potent.

---

Fucking A.

Powerful Fucking A.

Fucking brilliant idea.. Just came up with a new band. The band line-up is impossible to record because our numbers are potentially infinite.

We call ourselves ‘Knees Arms Knowledge’ for no fucking reason whatsoever other than because I fucking want to.. so choke on that for a second while I make up the rest of this story.

Dead yet? I don’t care either way.

As I was saying, Knees Arms Knowledge is technically a ‘theory band’. We’ve never practiced and we’ve never jammed. This is mainly because we only play one fucking song. The name of the song is not important, but rest assured it is powerful. Power knowledgeable. Super knowledge power.

Basically we take around 2500, maybe 2650 guitars and stack them on their sides one on top of the other, strings facing out with the backs against the side of a building. Directly in front of the guitars is a pool whose depths reach beyond the imagination. The depth of the pool is not important, but you’re only reading this to kill some time anyways, so I threw in that extra sentence to help you out, along with this one.

Back to the power theory band, Knees Arms Knowledge. If you want to be a member, consider it done. All you do is gorilla glue about 900 guitar picks to your body, most importantly all your fingers/shoulder/face(s) and of course your knees and arms, do approximately 5 flips off the top of the building whose wall is lined with awesome looking/sounding guitars. They will be plugged into the most bosh PA system of all fucking time. Power PA. Each guitar will be tuned differently so that on your descent from the top of the building you can really rock a power solo using the picks glued all over your body.

The power of your jam will resonate in the atmosphere for decades. Person after person will jump and we will hear some sick harmonies.

Once you land in the pool, there are a number of festivities to partake in. Pin the crowbar on Earl Scruggs’ face, for example, is a timeless classic. ‘Who can drink more Schlitz, Me or Molly Hatchet?’ is another popular choice.

The possibilities are endless.


Super fucking power knowledge

Don’t be a fool, stay in school.

Take care, brush your hair.



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Reviews


Submitted by corn nugget at 2007-11-06 10:03:02 EST (#)
Rating: 2

You're so funny.

Submitted by monkeyswithguns at 2007-11-05 21:32:25 EST (#)
Rating: 2

You have a theoretical band? I've got a few myself.

When the theoretical concerts are over, they join together to become a super theoretical band that fights oversized reptilian adversaries sent by the Japanese to control our populations through brain-wave reconfiguration.


Submitted by firefly at 2007-11-05 16:52:40 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by experima at 2007-11-05 15:14:03 EST (#)
Rating: 2

awesome uberer below

Submitted by no1hasdis at 2007-11-05 15:12:10 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by zwerg at 2007-11-05 10:30:47 EST (#)
Rating: 2

fucking bosh

Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH at 2007-11-05 10:15:49 EST (#)
Rating: 0

power d

Submitted by ConorJS at 2007-11-05 09:50:25 EST (#)
Rating: 1

"If you want to have your asses blown out, stay IN the room... thank you."

Submitted by Fartman at 2007-11-05 01:24:16 EST (#)
Rating: 2

The warning alone gets a +2.

Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH at 2007-11-04 09:53:24 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-11-04 02:16:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

2005-09-06
--

your life would never be the same after that date

Submitted by Unabonger at 2007-11-04 08:33:10 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Fucking BOSH.

Submitted by Yams at 2007-11-04 04:56:18 EST (#)
Rating: 2

I'll admit, that's pretty fucking bosh. It tops my idea of a thousand xylophones being struck simultaneously by five hundred bagpipe players. There's more to it but those are the basics.

Submitted by Sacrilicious at 2007-11-04 02:16:42 EST (#)
Rating: 2

2005-09-06

Wait, that came out wrong

dfgk;of0wr'eirueidm

Submitted by beeltea at 2007-11-04 02:06:42 EST (#)
Rating: 2

oops sorry boshman i forgot to rate.

Submitted by beeltea at 2007-11-04 02:04:45 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by beer-turtle (user info) at 2007-11-03 16:08:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

I still have no idea how your mediocre frat boy rants garner positive ratings.

Maybe I don't get it. When did being stupid start being admirable?
***

Obviously not an American. Not only is stupid admirable, it's profitable.

Submitted by beer-turtle at 2007-11-04 01:49:05 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Dude I have no idea what BOSH is but I think he was calling me the sophist.


Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH at 2007-11-04 00:38:56 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1) - Cite This Source - Share This
soph·ist /ˈsɒfɪst/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[sof-ist] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation
–noun
1. (often initial capital letter) Greek History.
a. any of a class of professional teachers in ancient Greece who gave instruction in various fields, as in general culture, rhetoric, politics, or disputation.
--

WHAT THE FUCK?


does this mean i am really fuckin BOSH?!?!?

please answer me, because i honestly have no idea what the word 'sophist' means..


plus i'm drunk

Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH at 2007-11-04 00:32:19 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

no offense... but think less, and let is what is is.





wrap your head around THAT

Submitted by beer-turtle at 2007-11-04 00:27:26 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

no at it like this 2500+ guitars stuck side to side like a giantic super-stringified slide, at an average of 18 inches wide 3750 feet high and contain 15000 strings.

900 picks would only suffice to hit about 16.676767...% of the strings, assuming each pick only hit 1 string before being ripped off the body.

plus the cost of 2500+ guitars, and the engineering involved in getting the project built as well as certified as structurally sound before anyone would even be legally allowed to attempt such a feat.

Let alone the logistics of getting him to the top of this tower.



I would have been more impressed with a skyscraper sized guitar and using a helicopter and a machine gun to play the strings.


Submitted by ASO at 2007-11-03 22:09:37 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

what's the difference between being a sophist or a frat guy? it's not intelligence.

Submitted by beer-turtle at 2007-11-03 16:08:58 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

I still have no idea how your mediocre frat boy rants garner positive ratings.

Maybe I don't get it. When did being stupid start being admirable?

Submitted by haikumikoo at 2007-11-03 14:05:42 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Do it.

Submitted by Ballare at 2007-11-03 13:41:31 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

HAHA YOU SAID DOODY

RAAGH YELLING I AM GOOD AT YELLING RRRRROOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH

Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH at 2007-11-03 13:31:24 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

RAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHHHHHHHH

Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH at 2007-11-03 13:31:09 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2005-09-14 16:02:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

YELLING IS BOSH.


WHATS STRANGE IS THAT I ACTUALLY SCREAM THE WORDS AS I TYPE THEM WHILE IM HERE AT WORK, PEOPLE GIVE ME A CONFUSED LOOK, AND I CONTINUE SCREAMING AND LOOKING AT THEM APOLOGETICALLY


Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2005-09-14 15:59:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

I AGREE.. AND I LIKE YELLING LIKE THIS, WHICH IS NEEDED SINCE UBER IS ALL BOSHED UP AT THE MOMENT!

BOSH ON BRUTHA!!

--

ON THAT NOTE MASTERS OF KARATE ARE REQUIRED TO YELL AT ALL TIMES WHEN ON DUTY

HAHA DUTY

YER DUTIES ENTAIL DOING WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU WANT BECAUSE YOU'RE AFFILIATED WITH THE MASTERS OF KARATE, SO LONG AS YOU DO IT WHILE YELLING.

Submitted by Ballare at 2007-11-03 13:24:27 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

YES WHAT WOULD MY DUTIES ENTAIL RAGH

I CAN'T START TODAY THOUGH - I AM TERRIBLY HUNG OVER, THUS ALL THE YELLING

Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH at 2007-11-03 13:20:27 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

DEAL

ToDance has proven her fierceness, would you like to be Assistant to the Co-Masters of Karate?

Submitted by beeltea at 2007-11-03 13:02:37 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

no but i'll be a master of karate with you

Submitted by Ballare at 2007-11-03 12:55:10 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

RRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGH BLAARRGHHH NUUURRRRR

Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH at 2007-11-03 12:50:32 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Submitted by Ballare at 2007-11-03 12:48:57 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Mr. Boshman:

NO COMMENT RAGH

Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH at 2007-11-03 12:47:32 EDT (#)
Rating: 0


Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH at 2007-11-03 12:34:45 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

ToDance:

to each his/her own!

i will say that i am in favor of everything ninja.

Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH at 2007-11-03 12:30:44 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

BLT wanna be co-champions of friendship?

Submitted by Ballare at 2007-11-03 11:57:14 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-11-03 10:16:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

easy compadre..


i don't think i've ever seen ballare say anything other than 'no comment' before haha

----

No way I write comments all the time

mostly to protest 'I'm a girl' but they're comments nonetheless

although I am a fan of the no comment ninja strike

Submitted by beeltea at 2007-11-03 11:28:23 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

CHAMPION OF THE SUN

Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH at 2007-11-03 11:03:24 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

cool dude

Submitted by vexx at 2007-11-03 10:59:18 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I live in Boston as well. If you're playing a show around here sometime I'd be glad to come.

Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH at 2007-11-03 10:21:06 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by gascs (user info) at 2007-11-02 21:04:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

Alright, dammit, here. I smiled. I'm ashamed of myself.
--

i'm pretty sure thats the first time you've ever reviewed one of my posts.

Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH at 2007-11-03 10:17:11 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

I'M FUCKING SICK AND TIRED AND DRUNK OF ALL OF YOU

FUCK
--

that was funny though

Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH at 2007-11-03 10:16:29 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

easy compadre..


i don't think i've ever seen ballare say anything other than 'no comment' before haha


Uniter, that was funny on the other post, now you're just being lazy

Submitted by Sacrilicious at 2007-11-03 10:01:42 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I'M FUCKING SICK AND TIRED AND DRUNK OF ALL OF YOU

FUCK
===
HAHAHA YOU SAID IT, SISTER

Submitted by Ballare at 2007-11-03 05:21:33 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

FUCK YEAH THOUGH A GUITAR SLIDE I'M TOTALLY INTO THAT

Submitted by Ballare at 2007-11-03 05:21:13 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU EMOTIONALLY COMPLICATED MALES

I'M FUCKING SICK AND TIRED AND DRUNK OF ALL OF YOU

FUCK

Submitted by beeltea at 2007-11-03 03:09:36 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

i've always wanted power knowledge

Submitted by lungfish at 2007-11-02 22:11:20 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-11-02 20:42:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Bosh + 2650 guitars=Sacrilicious + erect nipples

Submitted by TheUniter at 2007-11-02 21:14:38 EDT (#)
Rating: -1

But what happened to that chick, dude?

Was she like, totally Bosh or what?

Nice movement on the joe!

Hey. Movement. Whoa.

You should really shit in the filter next time dude!

Totally Bosh, man!


Submitted by gascs at 2007-11-02 21:04:17 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

Alright, dammit, here. I smiled. I'm ashamed of myself.

Submitted by Sacrilicious at 2007-11-02 20:42:52 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Bosh + 2650 guitars=Sacrilicious + erect nipples

Submitted by JonnyX at 2007-11-02 19:20:05 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

~~~FLIRTIN WITH DISASTER~~~

Submitted by St_Jimmy at 2007-11-02 19:05:49 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I usually read your posts with the voice of Duffman in my head.

While it does somewhat add to the entertainment value, it fails to increase the post's overall BOSHNESS.

This is no doubt due to the fact that the post by itself has practically acheived an infinite level of BOSH, thus any finite increase in BOSHNESS would be negligible relative to the infinite BOSH already present.

In short, integral(http://www.ubersite.com/m/112920 ,0,t) dBOSH = infinity

Submitted by Sinistral at 2007-11-02 17:23:34 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Pin the crowbar on Earl Scruggs' face, for example, is a timeless classic.


+2 for the great idea

Submitted by experima at 2007-11-02 17:06:53 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

so much awesome

Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys at 2007-11-02 15:33:22 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

The depth of the pool is not important, but you're only reading this to kill some time anyways, so I threw in that extra sentence to help you out, along with this one.
----------
I sprayed Tesco's own brand cola across my laptop because of that line and now I demand you come and clean it up you fabulous bastard

Submitted by skrapmetal at 2007-11-02 15:08:49 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Where the fuck do I sign up for this?!

(for the record: I invented the 'electropic', which is an electric screwdriver with 12 picks glued to it. I tried it, but the pickups picked up so much whining motor noise I never used it in a gig. Fucking Eddie Van Halen stole it a year later and made a mint with it, and that fuck didn't even glue picks to the screwdriver bit. Fucking Eddie Van Halen)

Submitted by Director at 2007-11-02 14:37:53 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by Fartman at 2007-11-02 14:15:29 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I'm in. I have teh mad pin the crowbar on Earl Scruggs' face skilz!

Submitted by lostnphound at 2007-11-02 13:59:14 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Great, now I feel like I should put on some holey jeans, grow a mullet, and play some cock rock! I'll do anything to melt face...

count me in!

Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH at 2007-11-02 13:54:23 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-11-02 13:49:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

fuckin a right they are.. lousy fucks.. they're probably gay for eachother anyways. In fact I think i read a story yesterday somewhere on uber about don henley and earl scruggs... something about being gay and drowning in the ocean... i think drogo wrote it.
--

http://www.ubersite.com/m/112815


Yep... don't be fooled by the typo in the title though. It was probably meant to read: 'Scruggs takes all his clothes off and tries to anally penetrate don henley in the ocean so they could talk about crustaceans'

Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH at 2007-11-02 13:52:07 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

pps

scruggs does that all the time icarus.. but thanks for bringing it to my attention.. i was running low on material with which to bash earl scruggs.








yea right.

Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH at 2007-11-02 13:51:08 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

ps

lostnphound - consider me one of the few!

Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH at 2007-11-02 13:49:43 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

fuckin a right they are.. lousy fucks.. they're probably gay for eachother anyways. In fact I think i read a story yesterday somewhere on uber about don henley and earl scruggs... something about being gay and drowning in the ocean... i think drogo wrote it.

Submitted by lostnphound at 2007-11-02 13:47:24 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Few people can rock the way Bill Bevins does...

Submitted by forensicgirl3 at 2007-11-02 13:43:36 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Banjo pickers and white dudes w/ afros who slept with Stevie Nicks are bastards.


Just wanted to say that.

Submitted by icarus1987 at 2007-11-02 13:20:07 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

The faggot Earl Scruggs just bit Barry Manilow all over the face and ass.


I just thought you should know.

Submitted by triangle_man at 2007-11-02 13:07:27 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

theoretical jam
sounds easy!!

Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH at 2007-11-02 13:01:54 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

me too

Submitted by Brdn_Nkd at 2007-11-02 12:59:51 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

i love beer

Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH at 2007-11-02 12:43:47 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

RyuFu (user info) -14 on 11 = -1.27

woo!

Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH at 2007-11-02 12:42:37 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

HadToBeDone (user info) -18 on 12 = -1.50

damn i thought it would be closer to -2

Submitted by RyuFu at 2007-11-02 12:42:17 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I don't think I +2 bosh stuff very often

Submitted by Hadley at 2007-11-02 12:36:26 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Bosh.

Submitted by ShimishSmortion at 2007-11-02 12:30:50 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

These will never get tiring!

Submitted by scourge at 2007-11-02 12:26:44 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

i'm fucking in.

Submitted by Ballare at 2007-11-02 12:24:31 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by EmissionImpossible at 2007-11-02 12:22:11 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Im guessing muddy gets to play on the bums




ahahahahahahahah

Submitted by MudWhistle at 2007-11-02 12:19:59 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Ok, these comments are no longer punny

Submitted by Creepy_guy at 2007-11-02 12:19:36 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I wish my band were this cool

Submitted by DrogoRoch at 2007-11-02 12:19:18 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-11-02 12:16:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Yozz wants to play that instrument that is always two beats behind the rest of the band
--

Thats the TardoBongo isnt it?

Submitted by S.I. Co. at 2007-11-02 12:18:17 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Has anyone laid claim to the flesh recorder? Pubical Harp? We need a good penist. too!

Submitted by Yozz at 2007-11-02 12:17:57 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Tuba?

Submitted by MudWhistle at 2007-11-02 12:16:17 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Yozz wants to play that instrument that is always two beats behind the rest of the band.

Submitted by S.I. Co. at 2007-11-02 12:14:52 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

In that case, I'll have to play the rusty tromboner.

Submitted by Yozz at 2007-11-02 12:14:21 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Oh yeah. THAT IS TOTALLY FUCKING BOSH!

Submitted by Yozz at 2007-11-02 12:14:03 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Sorry, Muddy plays meat whistle.

Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH at 2007-11-02 12:13:58 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

you guys are all in the band


this is serious fucking power knowledge

Submitted by S.I. Co. at 2007-11-02 12:12:59 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I've given up skin flute for the meat whistle. Can I play meat whistle?

Submitted by EmissionImpossible at 2007-11-02 12:12:23 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I should play the harmonica really, or my banjo string

Submitted by DrogoRoch at 2007-11-02 12:10:35 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Oh yes! Bagsy Triangle

Submitted by Paralyzed_By_Hope at 2007-11-02 12:09:44 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by moneyshotforyou at 2007-11-02 12:09:19 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I too would like to join.

Submitted by HurtByTheSun at 2007-11-02 12:08:57 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Keep it foolish!

Submitted by MudWhistle at 2007-11-02 12:07:56 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

sico will be along shortly to volunteer to play skinflute

Submitted by Orgasmatron at 2007-11-02 12:07:54 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I'd like to play the Electric Tambourine.

Submitted by CaptainThorns at 2007-11-02 12:06:28 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I would like to participate in this band.

Submitted by MudWhistle at 2007-11-02 12:04:36 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

can i play log

Submitted by EmissionImpossible at 2007-11-02 12:01:36 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

you know what


























thats really brilliant


Oh, honey, I didn't get drunk, I just went to a strange fantasy world.

-- Homer Simpson
El Viaje Misterioso De Nuestro Jomer