The BOSH Man! MAKES A NEW FRIEND WHO IS POWER KNOWLEDGEABLE! AND BONES A BOSH BANK BABE!!Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH at 2008-01-11 12:32:32 EST
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So there I was sitting in on an Iced Earth rehearsal harmonizing with their lead singer when all of a sudden I realized I hate Metal. I took a guitar out of my dpocket and started thrashin' some heavy licks. The music I was playing was so powerful, the band started headbanging real hard. After about 73 minutes of power-headbanging, I stopped playing. 4 of the 5 members of the band were dead due to excessive headbanging, and the 5th member couldnt stop headbanging even though I wasn't playing guitar anymore. I set him on fire to put him out of his misery, but the headbanging was so powerful it extinguished the flames. I decided to let him tag along with me for the rest of the day.
Our first stop was the package store to get some cigarettes and some beer and probably some whiskey, too. As soon as we set foot in the place the smoke alarms went off, probably because of the smoldering headbanging metal half-corpse standing next to me. I punched the clerk in the neck and stole a pack of cigarettes and some beer. My headbanging companion just lit up a cigarette and headbanged.
Next we stopped at the bank so I could withdraw money form Scruggs' savings account.
"Can I help you?"
"...How can I assist you today?"
"First you can ease up on all the questions you fuckin' narc."
" ..ok.. but what is your friend doing?"
I looked over at Fire Corpse McHeadbang.
"Headbanging. Listen, gimme all Scruggs' money."
"Ok, That guy is a piece of shit anyways."
This caught me by suprise, I decided that this bank teller chick was pretty bosh afterall.
"Fuckin a, Bank Babe.. Wanna come party?"
The bosh bank babe just lit up a cigarette and nodded in agremeent.
We greeted customers to the bank at the door with complimentary neck-punches for the next 45 minutes. After everyone ran away crying, we turned the bank into a mondo recording studio for no reason at all. Me and bosh bank babe porked for the next 3 days while Fire Corpse McHeadbang just stood around headbanging.
Scruggs came by to make a cash withdrawl so i told Fire Corpse McHeadbang to headbutt Scruggs as often as he could for the rest of his life. Scruggs tried running away but broke his leg in the process because his legs are actually made of spaghetti.
The Kid who knows Everything came out of left field on his hover board and took a piss on Scruggs jacket.
Years later, I added this to Scruggs memoirs without him knowing it. I can't wait for it to be published.