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The BOSH Man! WANDERS AIMLESSLY IN OUTER SPACE!!

Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH at 2008-01-25 09:49:59 EST
Rating: 1.7 on 52 ratings (52 reviews) (Review this item) (V)

So there I was teaching the Kickapoo Indians how to set Earl Scruggs on fire when all of a sudden The Kid Who Knows Everything impregnated the princess of the tribe.

The Kickapoops, as he calls them, were pretty pissed off about it and it took 3 barrels of beer and a couple spliffs to calm them down.

We started getting pretty hungry so I made everyone hotdogs. Everyone seemed pretty agreeable to that, except the Kid Who Knows Everything. He looked at the Chieftain of the Kickapoops with disgust.

"How can you eat that?"

"You're tellin’ me you've never had a hot dog?"

"No! I'm not putting anything shaped like that in my mouth"

"What about a banana?"

"No!"

"Sausage?"

"No!"

"What about a sausage that’s been cut up into tiny pieces?"

"No! Then its just like.. you know.. its just like a chopped up cock."

"What about a sandwich?

"You mean like a regular flat sandwich?"

"Yea"

"Well yea, I'd eat that."

"Ok! Now how about a sandwich shaped like a dick?!"

"NO!!!!!!!! THAT DEFEATS THE WHOLE PURPOSE!! ALL YOU REALLY GOT THEN IS A HOT DOG!!"

The Kid Who Knows Everything was so angry hell fell down. The Kickapoops started laughing real hard, so I set them all on fire and lit up a cigarette. The Kid Who Knows Everything looked somewhat relieved.

“Don’t worry Kid, Those hotdogs were made of poison anyways”

“Righteous! But I already knew that..”

“Totally!” I gave him a mondo high five.

We took some pretty bosh horses and went on a quest to find Curley’s gold. Daniel Stern came by and asked us to suck rattlesnake poison out of his butt, so my horse, who I named Colonel Beefhawk, kicked him in the neck. The Kid who Knows Everything told him Kevin Arnold was a bitch and that he should stop narrating his voice on ‘The Wonder Years’. Even Larry Bird hates Daniel Stern. I just lit up a cigarette and nodded in agreement.

Years later, we found Curley’s gold and became millionaires. We stopped by Scruggs place to break his banjo but the Kickapoops had already beat us to it. Even The Kid Who Knows Everything didn’t know what was going on.

The Chieftain of the tribe walked up to us with a look of gratitude on his face.

“Boshdude and Omniscient One, the hotdogs you gave us were made of poison, but in your infinite wisdom, you were able to see that setting us on fire was the antidote.

“Totally dude, rock n’ roll!”

“Rock n’ roll indeed, Boshman. We have learned a lot from you. We keep feeding Scruggs poison hot dogs and then setting him on fire. I don’t think he is enjoying it, but as you taught us: ‘Scruggs is a cock loving stegosaurus fucker’ ..so we just ignore him.

“Gnarly! Later on I will teach you about waterproof tacos!”

“Tubular!” is what the Chieftain said.

“Righteous!”

“Mondo!”

“Powerful!”

“Knowledgeable!”

I looked at The Kid, he had just lit up a cigarette and was nodding in agreement.

“That’ll do, Chieftain Kickapoop. Rock into the Future!”

“We will indeed rock!”

The Kid had eaten his horse by now, so he just levitated/hovered around while Colonel Beefhawk and I wandered aimlessly into outer space.



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Reviews


Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals at 2008-04-28 05:07:44 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

This was dope.

Submitted by theshadypeach at 2008-04-27 22:14:00 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by hidden101 at 2008-02-01 12:52:32 EST (#)
Rating: 2

hahahaha, i just watched that episode where Murderface won't eat anything shaped like a dick again. nice.

Submitted by zwerg at 2008-01-28 12:20:33 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by ASO at 2008-01-27 18:17:12 EST (#)
Rating: 2

i read this yesterday but i went to watch metaloklypse clips on youtube before I rated it.

Submitted by Cakes at 2008-01-27 18:08:00 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Seeing how I was upstairs anyhow.

Submitted by HellRazer at 2008-01-26 06:12:08 EST (#)
Rating: 2

BOSHness

Submitted by shandythedog at 2008-01-26 05:47:36 EST (#)
Rating: 0

bosh

Submitted by Constitution at 2008-01-25 20:32:40 EST (#)
Rating: 2

You have to make a movie at some point.

Submitted by HotWillie at 2008-01-25 18:53:57 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by Zampano at 2008-01-25 18:37:07 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH at 2008-01-25 15:32:53 EST (#)
Rating: 0

ahahahahhahahahahahh



i love the reviews on this post.

Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys at 2008-01-25 15:28:17 EST (#)
Rating: 2

I am stealing the name Colonel Beefhawk and using it next comic I make

Submitted by icarus1987 at 2008-01-25 15:24:15 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Also, you never attribute your quotes. Just like Hemmingway. If those fucking narcs want to know who's talking they can just mind their own fucking business. Rock on.

Submitted by icarus1987 at 2008-01-25 15:22:53 EST (#)
Rating: 2

You know what I like? You take ordinary everyday things like walking in space, or setting Earl Scruggs on fire and make them Bosh. That takes talent.

Submitted by ChaosJester at 2008-01-25 15:18:07 EST (#)
Rating: 2

I don't believe that there's anyone else on Uber who I would be able to tolerate this from.
You, however, make it look so totally natural and...and BOSH!

+2 for you.
Weirdo.

Submitted by moneyshotforyou at 2008-01-25 14:44:54 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Entertaining as usual.


*throws back a shot of whiskey, grabs his stout and rolls on.....

Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH at 2008-01-25 13:55:44 EST (#)
Rating: 0

that's pretty bosh

Submitted by shadow at 2008-01-25 13:54:05 EST (#)
Rating: 2

I don't understand anything I just read. There may be a blown fuse behind my left ear.

And yet, somehow, I laughed.

Submitted by TheUniter at 2008-01-25 13:51:29 EST (#)
Rating: 0

*most* every night.

Sometimes I just cuddle.

Submitted by TheUniter at 2008-01-25 13:46:31 EST (#)
Rating: 0

I get laid every night.

I try not to let it interfere with my enjoyment (or lack thereof) of your posts, however.

Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH at 2008-01-25 13:42:33 EST (#)
Rating: 0

did you get laid or something last night, Uniter?

Submitted by TheUniter at 2008-01-25 13:40:25 EST (#)
Rating: 0


Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH at 2008-01-25 13:34:04 EST (#)
Rating: 0

yep

except when it comes to making boshton red sox tribute posts, which is why you're a bearfucker.

Submitted by scourge at 2008-01-25 13:32:41 EST (#)
Rating: 2

oh yeah.

i forgot i did that.

see, i keep my word to faceless uber users sometimes!

Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH at 2008-01-25 13:31:04 EST (#)
Rating: 0

yea because you're a man of your word and rated like 85 of my posts in one day.

Submitted by scourge at 2008-01-25 13:28:23 EST (#)
Rating: 2

and now i wrecked my rating of you.

i think you were my highest rated user where i had offered more than a handful of reviews.

Submitted by scourge at 2008-01-25 13:27:32 EST (#)
Rating: 2

i know.

i was just joshing you.

Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH at 2008-01-25 13:26:13 EST (#)
Rating: 0

hahaha aww

it's all in fun my good man.

Submitted by scourge at 2008-01-25 13:25:36 EST (#)
Rating: -2

http://www.ubersite.com/m/114572#2634814



i'm feeling sensitive today.

Submitted by jojojojoan at 2008-01-25 13:09:06 EST (#)
Rating: 2


Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH at 2008-01-25 11:53:36 EST (#)
Rating: 0


Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH at 2008-01-25 11:51:34 EST (#)
Rating: 0


Submitted by Wildman at 2008-01-25 11:50:48 EST (#)
Rating: 1

the kickapoo tribe's feet really smell bad

Submitted by ConorJS at 2008-01-25 11:41:01 EST (#)
Rating: 2

The Kickapoops, as he calls them, were pretty pissed off about it and it took 3 barrels of beer and a couple spliffs to calm them down.


=====

I already laughed.

Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH at 2008-01-25 11:40:41 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by gascs (user info) at 2008-01-25 11:38:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 1

Not your best, but definitely better than that narc thing.
--


hahahahha i want to add the kickapoops to my narc list.

Submitted by gascs at 2008-01-25 11:38:36 EST (#)
Rating: 1

Not your best, but definitely better than that narc thing.

Submitted by Creepy_guy at 2008-01-25 11:23:03 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Most excellent. I love your posts, man

Submitted by loopdeloo at 2008-01-25 11:14:56 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by Brdn_Nkd at 2008-01-25 11:05:51 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by corn nugget at 2008-01-25 10:20:37 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by Ltap at 2008-01-25 10:20:08 EST (#)
Rating: -2

You aren't worthy of a comment.

Submitted by Wompom at 2008-01-25 10:19:31 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Dude thats brondo

Submitted by deathmobile at 2008-01-25 10:12:49 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Totally bosh.

Submitted by czwij at 2008-01-25 10:05:38 EST (#)
Rating: 1

bill and teds mutherfuckin adventure

Submitted by ilikesteak at 2008-01-25 10:03:53 EST (#)
Rating: 2

:D

Submitted by monkeyswithguns at 2008-01-25 10:03:37 EST (#)
Rating: 2

I don't know what's going on here at all.

Submitted by forensicgirl3 at 2008-01-25 09:57:00 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Haha drugs

Submitted by S.I. Co. at 2008-01-25 09:55:57 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Inter STELLAR!

Submitted by Sacrilicious at 2008-01-25 09:54:02 EST (#)
Rating: 2

I could really go for a spliff and some sausage.

Submitted by HurtByTheSun at 2008-01-25 09:52:35 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Keep it foolish.

Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH at 2008-01-25 09:50:12 EST (#)
Rating: 0

with apologies to william murderface


Kent: Well, what do you say to the accusation that your group has been
causing more crimes than it's been preventing?

Homer: Oh, Kent, I'd be lying if I said my men weren't committing crimes.

Homer the Vigilante