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The first weirdness arrived on Sat.

Submitted by monkeyswithguns at 2008-03-05 10:59:42 EST
Rating: 1.65 on 46 ratings (46 reviews) (Review this item) (V)

http://www.ubersite.com/m/115024

So Captain Thorns was the first to get the ball rolling on what I hope becomes a larger project. To this end, I've begun posting "Free for all Mail Calls" in major cities around America on Craigslist. I've already recieved 2 mail-art postcards, one from a Charles Balletto of Queens, NY, who is an excellent artist, and the other from a Chuck from Colorado Springs, CO, who does his own special brand of watercolor portraits.

You can look them up by their names if you like, and see their stuff, but I'm not about to go pasting links here. Yes, I'm that lazy.

Anyway, On to what CT sent me:

A cassete tape of hypnotism to improve memory. Good job there, I could certainly use it, I just need to find a cassete player now.

Also included was a small round package of dental floss. I'm not sure what you're trying to tell me with this. True, I've had 4 abcess teeth from impacted molars (VERY painful), and I just had my last wisdom tooth pulled last Monday. Sure my teeth are stained yellow from a decade of smoke and coffee (which gave me kidney stones, also VERY painful), but do you really get the impression that I need dental floss so bad that I need it delivered from Illinois?

Either way you answer it, it's true, since I never floss and can always use a reminder to do so.

Now a picture, because the vast majority of you apparently don't read anything. TV generation and such.

This was the note he put in the blister packed envelope which I greatly enjoyed popping.

\\Randbmetal-pdc\Users\shane\SHANE\Captain Thorns Package.jpg
\\Randbmetal-pdc\Users\shane\SHANE\Captain Thorns Package.jpg


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Submitted by spyder882001 at 2008-04-07 19:55:05 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

www.postsecret.com Frank has been doing it for years.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-04-07 19:35:20 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

This looks like the beginning of something seriously gay between you two.

Submitted by experima at 2008-04-07 19:06:09 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

you can post the back of the envelope though and describe what i sent you if you like. just not the actual story i sent pls.

Submitted by experima at 2008-04-07 19:04:35 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I sent mine to you today.........but I don't necessarily want you to post it on uber.

Submitted by TheUniter at 2008-03-06 18:34:29 EST (#)
Rating: 0


Submitted by monkeyswithguns at 2008-03-06 08:25:20 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by HellRazer (user info) at 2008-03-05 20:17:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

keep an eye out, more should be on the way.
------------------------------------------]
I check it daily.

Submitted by HellRazer at 2008-03-05 20:17:58 EST (#)
Rating: 2

keep an eye out, more should be on the way.

Submitted by cocaine at 2008-03-05 15:58:26 EST (#)
Rating: 2

such penmanship

Submitted by CaptainThorns at 2008-03-05 14:42:56 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2008-03-05 11:36:14 CST (#)
Ranking: 2

EW, was the floss used?!
---------------------

Please. I'm not THAT crass.

But I did lick the envelope a-plenty before sealing it. :)

Submitted by monkeyswithguns at 2008-03-05 14:39:31 EST (#)
Rating: 0

http://www.anti-robot.org/

I'm definately anti-robot.

Submitted by HotWillie at 2008-03-05 14:38:55 EST (#)
Rating: 2

how delightful

Submitted by ilikesteak at 2008-03-05 14:36:34 EST (#)
Rating: 2

:D

Submitted by lostnphound at 2008-03-05 14:32:31 EST (#)
Rating: 2

what about people? can we send people? For instance, the Mexican I have working for me is sub par and I've grown tired of him. May I send him?

He works for food...

Submitted by orphelia at 2008-03-05 13:18:28 EST (#)
Rating: 2

No Comment

Submitted by rob_berg at 2008-03-05 13:12:56 EST (#)
Rating: 2


awesome.

Submitted by monkeyswithguns at 2008-03-05 12:51:28 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2008-03-05 12:39:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

------------------------
Oh pretty please mail me some magical laced gloves. I could use them right about now.

Submitted by Sacrilicious at 2008-03-05 12:46:35 EST (#)
Rating: 2

I have the perfect thing.

Sent to me by an uberuser, we've decided it shall now be handed down to you.

Submitted by S.I. Co. at 2008-03-05 12:39:48 EST (#)
Rating: 2

With all due respect I pulled this maneuver several times. It started with Getnakeddd when I sent her a reese's peanut butter cup shirt, a telephone cable, some paper clips, and a piece of hemp. Then I sent Method a pair of gloves magically laced with something, a post-it notepad, and keychain. Afterwards I sent scourge a poem book, a razorblade, and some intrinsic things that I can't remember. I believe I sent a puzzle box to Hilarity. Finally I sent a sun-print kit to Bart at his business address listed on the contact page.

Oh yeah, and I sent a "Fuck Me, I'm Irish" cammy to Inion...but that was a thank you for the porn.

I would start doing this again but people can no longer be civil.

Submitted by Sacrilicious at 2008-03-05 12:36:14 EST (#)
Rating: 2

EW, was the floss used?!

Submitted by monkeyswithguns at 2008-03-05 12:33:26 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2008-03-05 12:13:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

Just wait till I get back to Texas.

Epic weirdness shall ensue.

I vow it...
-----------------------
I look forward to it. Now I'm off to the PO Box, with hope in my heart that I've received something new.

Submitted by ChaosJester at 2008-03-05 12:13:30 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Just wait till I get back to Texas.

Epic weirdness shall ensue.

I vow it...

Submitted by forensicgirl3 at 2008-03-05 12:01:36 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Dude! Just LOOK at that schizoid hook on the H!



Freak.

Submitted by CaptainThorns at 2008-03-05 11:58:10 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-03-05 10:56:13 CST (#)
Ranking: 2

Based on the handwriting, you can tell Thorns is crazier than a shit house rat.

:)
-----------------

Oh, you took that elective course in grad school, too?

And yes Muddy I am here...I have no alters. *
















* that I am currently using

Submitted by DrogoRoch at 2008-03-05 11:57:14 EST (#)
Rating: 2

hmmm Random weirdness from old blighty....hmmmm?

Lets see what we can do.

Submitted by forensicgirl3 at 2008-03-05 11:56:13 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Based on the handwriting, you can tell Thorns is crazier than a shit house rat.


:)

Submitted by MudWhistle at 2008-03-05 11:54:04 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-03-05 11:50:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2008-03-05 11:20:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-03-05 10:18:57 CST (#)
Ranking: 2

CT has very emphatic (read "gay") handwriting. Exclamation points, smiley faces and that little "swoosh" under his initials.
-----------------------

It comes from my mom's side of the family.

----------------------------
Your mom is gay???!!!

=====

Or the whole side is?

Which begs the question as to how Thorns got here.

Or is he even here?

GODDAMN YOU OATHMEAL AND YOUR ALTERS!!!

Submitted by monkeyswithguns at 2008-03-05 11:53:27 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by lostnphound (user info) at 2008-03-05 11:41:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

Can I send you the remains of my lunch today?
---------------
Go for it. It's a free for all.

Submitted by Yozz at 2008-03-05 11:50:59 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2008-03-05 11:20:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-03-05 10:18:57 CST (#)
Ranking: 2

CT has very emphatic (read "gay") handwriting. Exclamation points, smiley faces and that little "swoosh" under his initials.
-----------------------

It comes from my mom's side of the family.

----------------------------
Your mom is gay???!!!

Submitted by lostnphound at 2008-03-05 11:41:02 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Can I send you the remains of my lunch today? Not the dookie of course, but the wrapping from the sandwich and the cardboard holder for the fries. You could treasure it always!

Submitted by MudWhistle at 2008-03-05 11:35:18 EST (#)
Rating: 1

damn my telepathy

Submitted by Fucking foul at 2008-03-05 11:34:47 EST (#)
Rating: 2

I see. That's an acceptable distance for mail. I'll see what I can come up with.

Submitted by scourge at 2008-03-05 11:33:48 EST (#)
Rating: 1

Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2008-03-05 11:11:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

As far as I'm concerned, feel free to use the floss for a string bikini in lieu of the traditional oral use. :)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-03-05 11:08:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 1

Love,



?


====

should have waited four minutes and your question mark would have been unecessary, muddy mudskipper.

Submitted by monkeyswithguns at 2008-03-05 11:29:40 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2008-03-05 11:24:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0

OK. Now I have to think of something super-weird to leave in your mailbox. Something so weird it will make your wife call the cops.
-----------------------------------
Well, you need to know 2 things:
a) You will not scare my wife. She is a psycho just like me.

b) I actually don't live in your city, I live in High Falls, 45 min. South off I-75. It's great down here, and would be a good weekend trip for you. It rivals Dahlonega Falls in my opinion.

Submitted by Fucking foul at 2008-03-05 11:24:20 EST (#)
Rating: 0

OK. Now I have to think of something super-weird to leave in your mailbox. Something so weird it will make your wife call the cops.

Submitted by HurtByTheSun at 2008-03-05 11:24:10 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Cool.

Submitted by CaptainThorns at 2008-03-05 11:20:43 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-03-05 10:18:57 CST (#)
Ranking: 2

CT has very emphatic (read "gay") handwriting. Exclamation points, smiley faces and that little "swoosh" under his initials.
-----------------------

It comes from my mom's side of the family.

Submitted by CaptainThorns at 2008-03-05 11:19:43 EST (#)
Rating: 2

I wouldn't recommend using it while you're driving. ^_^ That stuff works best when you're dozing off and more open to subconscious suggestion...

Submitted by monkeyswithguns at 2008-03-05 11:19:11 EST (#)
Rating: 0

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2008-03-05 11:18:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

I'm not mailing you anything. We live in the same city. It just seems wrong.
---------------------

So drop it off in my mailbox then.

Submitted by Yozz at 2008-03-05 11:18:57 EST (#)
Rating: 2

CT has very emphatic (read "gay") handwriting. Exclamation points, smiley faces and that little "swoosh" under his initials.


Submitted by Fucking foul at 2008-03-05 11:18:20 EST (#)
Rating: 2

I'm not mailing you anything. We live in the same city. It just seems wrong.

Submitted by monkeyswithguns at 2008-03-05 11:16:44 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2008-03-05 11:13:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

BTW...I'm surprised you actually haven't listened to the tape yet. I would think that someone from your generation would have a cassette player in their stereo, or an old Walkman laying about...
=====================================

Had one in my old car, but it kept eating the tapes. I'll check the flea markets this weekend for an old one, I really am interested in trying it out.

Submitted by CaptainThorns at 2008-03-05 11:13:36 EST (#)
Rating: 2

BTW...I'm surprised you actually haven't listened to the tape yet. I would think that someone from your generation would have a cassette player in their stereo, or an old Walkman laying about...

(Of course, this dates ME, what with having cassette tapes to send...)

Submitted by CaptainThorns at 2008-03-05 11:11:05 EST (#)
Rating: 2

As far as I'm concerned, feel free to use the floss for a string bikini in lieu of the traditional oral use. :)

Submitted by MudWhistle at 2008-03-05 11:08:10 EST (#)
Rating: 1

Love,



?

Submitted by Berty at 2008-03-05 11:07:52 EST (#)
Rating: 2

What a filthy note.

Submitted by Brdn_Nkd at 2008-03-05 11:04:38 EST (#)
Rating: 2

interesting. random wierd mail is highly entertaining. so much more so than the fucking garbage and bills i get all the time.


You see, there are some crybabies out there -- religious types mostly
-- who might be offended. If you are one of them, I advise you to
turn off your set now. C'mon, I dare you. Bock-bock-bock-bock-bock!
Chicken!

-- Homer Simpson
Treehouse of Horror III