The IOC Missed a TrickSubmitted by w_t_a_y_s_t_r_m at 2008-04-11 06:20:46 EDT
Rating: 1.69 on 46 ratings (46 reviews) (Review this item) (V)
I'm sure we've all seen on the telly, read in the papers, chatted at the water cooler or received a carrier pigeon about the Olympic Torch relay problem, and all the protestors, attacks on the carriers and the forces at play to try and ensure that it goes smoothly.
Before I proceed, let me include a disclaimer regarding my opinions towards the Olympics, China, Tibet, etc:
- I don't give a shit about any of it
What they seem to have done, however, is missed a very simple solution. A solution which would have had up to three outcomes:
1. Support for Tibet would disappear
2. The protests would stop
3. It would have been more entertaining
The solution: Instead of having world class athletes and B-list celebrities carry the torch, give it to small children and retards.
What would these people do then? Still rush them and knock them down? Maybe.
But would the support remain as strong as it has so far? Maybe not.
For all those people on the fence who aren't sure if it's right to protest an international sporting event that doesn't/shouldn't have anything to do with politics watching middle-class white boys charging some spastic with an open flame might start thinking twice.
For all those people who do want to protest the Olympics in the name of 'peace' or 'humanity' would skid to a halt as they dived at a five year old whose just run 2km with a torch they're barely able to carry.
For all the others, who just find it funny watching the Chinese guards who follow the torch everywhere put skinny Tibetans in headlocks and deliver wedgies, it would be pretty fucking funny to watch a young child be obliterated by pissed off monks.
Don't get me wrong, it wouldn't stop me if it was something I was seriously passionate about. If they were talking about outlawing looking like a twat and not caring, I wouldn't have a choice but to protest. To be honest the chances of that law coming into pass are fairly slim (especially in this country where we don't have a choice) and even if they did, I doubt they'd have a torch carried around the world in honour of it.
But if they did, and I saw a child carrying the torch, my first thought would be along the lines of 'Easy target, thank god.'
If the thought was any longer then it would be interrupted by the child’s screams as I deliver a devastating fly kick to their head.
If it was a 'special' person carry the flame of oppression, I'd just act retarded as well, as I clothesline them across the throat. Everyone surrounding us would scream 'spas fight' and I would kick his/her ass. Unless she was like the Rainman of Kung-Fu. In which case I'd seven shades of shit kicked out on me by a female retard on global television.
Which I probably deserve, anyway.