The BOSH Man! IS HAPPY TODAY IS FRIDAY/WANTS TO DRINK BEER/IS GONNA BE HUNG OVER TOMORROW!!Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH at 2008-05-30 11:17:51 EDT
Rating: 1.82 on 41 ratings (41 reviews) (Review this item) (V)
The other day I travelled back in time to jam with Marvin Berry. Just kidding. I went back in time and punched Marvin Berry in the neck and jammed with Molly Hatchet instead. I would also like to point out that I am typing this with only my index finger on my left hand. Have you ever tried that? It's pretty dumb. In fact I hate it. Don't try it.. it was probably Scruggs' idea in the first place.
Speaking of Scruggs, every morning I google his name to see if he's dead yet. Fuckin guy is like 84 by now. Yesterday I threw stink bombs at his groceries and laughed hysterically at his reaction. Then I kicked him in the neck and lit up a cigarette.
Larry Bird stopped returning my calls. I think it might have something to do with the feces quiche i made for him on his birthday. Now if you ask him, he'll tell you that it wasn't a quiche at all, and that it was just 100% feces, and he'd be right. What can I say? I'm just a sore winner and haven't gotten over the time me and Ed Norton beat him and Dr. Greenthumb in a game of 2v2. Side note, we played by 1's, game til eleven.. we won by like 14 points. That's how fuckin bosh that was.
This idea didn't work: http://www.ubersite.com/m/112920
After purchasing 2650 guitars, all i could afford was a kiddie pool, and even then there wasn't a hose nearby to fill it up, although you couldn't really tell from the top of the building. We told Scruggs that it just LOOKED like a tiny pool and it just LOOKED like there was no water in it because we were so high up. He found out the hard way after i pushed him off. Bitchin' solo, though.
I have never seen wrath so fierce as i did this morning when I told Wesley Willis I shoved his Crayola's up Count Chocula's ass.
Thunderlips got pissed off the other day when I told him that his atomic leg drop is an inferior finishing move. So pissed that he gave Fagatron, my pet pegasus, an atomic leg drop which actually killed him. I realized my mistake and bought Thunderlips some beer and apologized. Email me if you'd like to attend the wake: theboshman.at.gmail.com
PS make sure you have a jet pack if you want to come. I only have one and the service is taking place in Fagatron's homeland at Cloud Fortress, which is about 6 miles up in the sky.
The Kid Who Knows Everything recently won the lottery for like the 15th time (obviously) and spent his millions on buying Earl Scruggs elaborate gifts. Scruggs was so happy. About a week later, The Kid and I built about 93 treasure maps and sold them to some idiots we know. The maps all lead to the gifts Scruggs had recently received. Since the treasure maps are a legally binding contract, Scruggs had no choice but to forfeit his fortunes. I think he cried 4 times. The Kid took a dump on Scruggs' wife, I just lit up a cigarette and nodded in agreement.
Warm it up, Kris.