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BULLETIN: Mrs. Shlongy Dead; Shlongy Moves on With Life

Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-06-02 20:37:39 EDT
Rating: 0.82 on 376 ratings (376 reviews) (Review this item) (V)

Yes...It finally happened.

All of my wise-ass comments and reviews on Ubersite finally caught up to me. An Uber asshole took it ALL much too seriously.

Someone actually came by my house in South Carolina and did a "Drive-By" - I even think they were playing some "NWA" when they drove by in their late model Cadillac Escalade with the spinning chrome wheels. I saw them cruise by but didn't think anything of it because no one on Uber, with the exception of Apollo and ESPECIALLY the Uber women, actually looks anything like their camwhores. I figured it was just our mailman, who I THINK is in with "The Crips".

They even spray-painted "Shlongy blows" on my front door when I wasn't paying attention - I think I was busy smoking and drinking over the last 48 hours or so - but I didn't notice that because I very rarely use the front door. Oh, and because that's something my neighbors do on a bi-monthly basis so it didn't register.

Anyway, after a couple of days of not seeing Mrs. Shlongy around, I finally took a walk around the house and there I found her body, decomposing on the side of the house next to the Recycle Bin.

I actually thought about tossing her body INTO the Recycle container but then how would I lift that?

So anyway, I called Domino's Pizza for a delivery. Then, I called my bookie and bet a few hundred on the A's.

Then, I called the police.

The corner arrived and asked me a bunch of silly questions...name (Shlongy, of course, you fucking dipshit), age, occupation, who I liked in The Belmont, and why I didn't call the police earlier, since it was obvious that Mrs. Shlongy had been lying there for a few days, based on the grass clippings that covered her body. I guess the landscapers (goddamn illegals) just mowed around her body last week when they cut the lawn.

So I am in deep mourning. I'd been with the woman on/off for almost 26 years, not counting the two separate times that we couldn't stand the sight of each other for three years at a time during the last two and a half decades.

About thirty minutes after they carted away her body with a warning to "not leave the county without letting the authorities know", I decided to drive on over to Savannah for some lunch and a few beers and vodkas.

You CANNOT drink scotch in times like this.

As usual, it didn't take Shlongy much more than 5 minutes before he had a broad in his lap and NO, I did not pay for it. I DID pay for a bunch of drinks, as usual, since the broad in question ordered a Bloody Mary, took one sip of that (after I told her NOT to order a Bloody Mary on an 80 degree day) and made me RE-order her a different drink. Fucking women.

To make a long story short, but not any more exciting or interesting, I think we're getting married. She moves in next week and YES, we will be keeping separate checking and savings accounts, since I have about 500+k in the bank and from what I can gather, she has $114.

I actually forgot her name but I know she's coming to SC to move in, since she won't stop emailing me, although she refuses to sign her name on the emails. I kind of forgot that part. A minor inconvenience.

All I know is that I'm "gettin' some" and if you're reading this stupid post, there's a pretty good chance (93%) that you're not.

As far as the wedding is concerned, we'll be inviting some of our friends, teachers, bartenders, parole officers, current boyfriends, etc. and we have kicked around the idea of inviting some Uber folks, but I don't know. Most of you can't afford the gas to drive yourselves to your minimum-wage-paying jobs, much less pay for a trip to South Carolina AND be trusted to buy a very expensive gift for me.

I guess it's up to you.

In 20 words or less- with the emphasis on "less"- tell me why you deserve an invite to this "Wedding of The Year - Or, of Next Year".

And if you know this broad's name, try and email me BEFORE the wedding, will ya? It'll be semi-embarrassing when they get to that part about "Do you, Shlongy, take "so and so" to be your lawfully wedded shag piece" and I don't know who the fuck the guy in the collar is talking about.

I'm going to go read the Bible and pray now, and by Bible, I mean "Rolling Stone", and by "pray" I mean "take a crap.

THANKS FOR CARING.

Shlongydoesitagain.JPG
Shlongydoesitagain.JPG


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Reviews


Submitted by legallady at 2016-05-31 22:03:47 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by Shlongy at 2012-07-02 15:52:32 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I forgot how hilarious Shlongy used to be.

Submitted by ridiculous at 2010-11-27 01:40:39 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Brilliant.

Submitted by Shadecaster at 2010-11-26 23:50:32 EST (#)
Rating: -2

Damn she;d have to be desperate to be with Schlongy!

Submitted by Shlongy at 2009-07-16 10:03:24 EDT (#)
Rating: -2


Submitted by scourge at 2009-06-06 17:19:59 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2007-02-02 16:03:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

You'd invite Shlongy into your home. But you wouldn't leave him alone with your wife

Submitted by YourNameHere at 2009-06-05 21:21:48 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Looks like a brochure for NAMBLA

Submitted by Shlongy at 2009-06-05 21:09:08 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

OK. Since you asked nicely I think I have an idea for one next week.

But I need like 5000 hits or I feel like a failure...Like the rest of Uber these days.


Submitted by The_Drake at 2009-06-05 15:55:28 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Okay, It's been over a year already......FUCKING POST AGAIN, ALREADY!!!

Submitted by orphelia at 2009-06-03 12:06:49 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

you have mail

Submitted by ColchesterDr at 2009-04-10 02:35:23 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by Shlongy at 2009-04-06 22:52:02 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Writing? You want WRITING?


Hmmmm...lessee here.

OK, how about this classic:

http://www.ubersite.com/m/44437

Submitted by johnny.b.dumb at 2009-04-06 22:44:07 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

plonker

Submitted by MajulCartoons at 2009-04-06 21:05:57 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

I was happy to review this as i assumed it be good (since you've been here for god knows how long) i thought i could give you a good rating... thus showing you i rate based on the post not the poster... however, the writing itself wasn't good.

not too hard too read through, yet rather boring and not well structured.

only some jokes worked.

...when you go into a long monologue, then start the next paragraph with "anyways", "so anyway", "to make a long story short", etc, makes it painfully obvious you attempted to make a comedic trail-off into random thought, then unintentionally returning to your original point... didn't work

rather pointless and unnecessary... uncreative and unoriginal

esoteric

Write something so i can rate it



Submitted by Shlongy at 2009-03-23 19:14:42 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Yeah...I've seen it.

Can you BELIEVE the PGA Tour isn't allowing this class act to play for 6 months?

Submitted by beeltea at 2009-03-23 18:31:33 EDT (#)
Rating: 2


Submitted by beeltea at 2009-03-23 12:16:26 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

that trasvestite is HAWT

Submitted by Earth Collapse at 2009-03-21 21:51:08 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Or why Shlongy is attracted to Transvestites.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2009-03-20 23:15:24 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

At least you got to play Bethpage...I lived in NY for 39 years and have never done so.

I did get to play the Links course at bear Lakes in West Palm Beach last weekend...they had Q School there a few years ago. I hit it great and shot a horseshit 84.


Submitted by beeltea at 2009-03-20 20:42:32 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

played the yellow course at bethpage today. Scored a 93. Terrible. In my defense, it was my first round of the season, the driving range was closed for some stupid reason, and I was hungover.

Submitted by Sincere at 2009-03-20 18:49:08 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Post something you cunt.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2009-02-19 07:48:38 EST (#)
Rating: 0

YOU KNOW WHERE TO FIND ME!

Submitted by Sideburns at 2009-02-18 23:53:11 EST (#)
Rating: 0

When we getting that beer? You promised me one long ago.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2009-02-15 17:27:26 EST (#)
Rating: 0

You logged on after a 14 month hiatus to tell Shlongy he sucks?

TELL US SOMETHING WE DON'T KNOW.

PS. This post was one of the greatest in Uber history.

Submitted by Sideburns at 2009-02-15 17:15:51 EST (#)
Rating: -2

At least you're consistent.

Submitted by ghostofbubba at 2009-02-14 16:58:07 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2009-02-14 16:19:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0

I'd be happy to post again...got any ideas for a post?

Uber already knows all about my awesome, rob_bergish life, all the broads I bang and all the money I have (or used to have).
=================
Do you still have enough cash to buy scotch? I thought so. . .

Submitted by Shlongy at 2009-02-14 16:19:51 EST (#)
Rating: 0

I'd be happy to post again...got any ideas for a post?

Uber already knows all about my awesome, rob_bergish life, all the broads I bang and all the money I have (or used to have).

Submitted by apollo88 at 2009-02-14 13:24:02 EST (#)
Rating: 0

time for a post shlong

Submitted by Otter at 2009-02-10 01:19:18 EST (#)
Rating: -2

gorpa la florpa

Submitted by ghostofbubba at 2009-02-10 00:22:23 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Does your small intestine still itch, Beauford?

Submitted by Shlongy at 2009-02-09 23:09:36 EST (#)
Rating: 0

It must have been written while you were doing time.

I think it was my last post.

I quit while on top.

Submitted by Sphagnum at 2009-02-09 22:41:14 EST (#)
Rating: 2

How the fuck did I miss this Gem?

Submitted by Shlongy at 2009-02-09 22:34:56 EST (#)
Rating: 0

I was wondering if you'd catch that.

Shlongy is a man of his word...when my memory allows me to be and I'm not hammerooed.

Submitted by rob_berg at 2009-02-09 20:10:57 EST (#)
Rating: 2


Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2009-02-09 16:49:23 EST (#)
Ranking: -1

---

You remembered!

Thanks.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2009-02-05 07:59:24 EST (#)
Rating: -2

Got you beat- I've read it 480 times.

Submitted by ghostofbubba at 2009-02-05 00:24:10 EST (#)
Rating: 2

This was a great post the other three hundred times I read it, too.

Submitted by slank at 2009-02-04 23:16:24 EST (#)
Rating: -2

ewwww what a fat ugly whore... and mrs shlongy isn't attractive either

Submitted by Shlongy at 2009-01-10 15:48:31 EST (#)
Rating: 0

I'l have to take a "pass" on that there offer, Pards.

Submitted by JustARide at 2009-01-10 15:25:40 EST (#)
Rating: 0

"Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2009-01-10 09:23:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0

Submitted by JustARide (user info) at 2009-01-10 01:24:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0

Don't be silly!

I've come to follow the masses and hopefully one day gain Shlongy's friendship!



How do you plan on making this happen...Do you have a vagina?"

====================================================================

No but I do have the best damned pair of manories the world has ever known! Hairy chested tit wank do it for ya?

Submitted by RoadSong at 2009-01-06 16:06:20 EST (#)
Rating: 0

"I'm going to go read the Bible and pray now, and by Bible, I mean "Rolling Stone.."
~~~~~~~~~
yep

Submitted by Shlongy at 2009-01-06 15:47:49 EST (#)
Rating: 0

As long as your riding Shlongy Jr. hard, if it helps you get off calling me "Uncle", knock yourself out.

Submitted by Sage at 2009-01-06 15:41:54 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Sage <3 Shlongy, aka my new step-daddy? Or should I just call you "Uncle Shlongy"?

Submitted by Shlongy at 2009-01-06 15:29:21 EST (#)
Rating: 2

It's funny...I just left a review in some other post where I mentioned that I suck at Uber.

Submitted by no1hasdis at 2009-01-06 15:25:58 EST (#)
Rating: 2

It's been 7 months since you posted this masterpiece. Isn't it about time you put down the sports illustrated, hauled your ass off your porcelain throne and posted something old man?

Submitted by haikumikoo at 2008-12-10 20:50:11 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-12-10 20:43:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0

I'm uploading the video to Youtube minus the name, it's taking forever but I'll repost this piece of shit later so I can at least get it off the front page I suppose.
---

I'll have to wait for Youtube to process the video, but at least I'll get that off the front page somewhat soon.

Submitted by haikumikoo at 2008-12-10 20:30:54 EST (#)
Rating: 0

I feel somewhat badly about posting a link to a real name, sorry about that. I'm not going to and can't really do anything about it, but if you email your friend and ask him to edit your name out of the title, it can be done. It's not like uber where you cannot edit anything once it's posted.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-12-02 16:42:55 EST (#)
Rating: -2

I was leaning toward...

"Your chance to punch Shlongy in the nuts" or

"Win a date With Shlongy"

But I also need some kind of a story to keep Uber's interest.

It's not like I can just flash my rack and get 3500 hits.

Submitted by Bubba2341 at 2008-12-02 15:53:52 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Work in an old song title. Maybe:

Do You Remember Rock N Roll Radio?

or

Teenage Lobotomy

Submitted by The_Drake at 2008-12-02 15:26:56 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-12-02 14:57:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0

Yes...I actually have a nice, new camwhore ready for action.

I just need a post "topic" and a EYE CATCHING title, to guarantee my customary 4000 hits.

THAT'S the challenging part.
------
Just mention shlongy. Guaranteed 4K.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-12-02 14:57:36 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Yes...I actually have a nice, new camwhore ready for action.

I just need a post "topic" and a EYE CATCHING title, to guarantee my customary 4000 hits.

THAT'S the challenging part.

Submitted by no1hasdis at 2008-12-02 14:30:28 EST (#)
Rating: 0

It's now been 6 months since you posted this. Isn't it time for the bi-annual masterpiece?

Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-11-16 15:58:52 EST (#)
Rating: 0

I didn't have his email address, you fucking retards. I do now.

Unlike you two fucking donkeys, Shlongy doesn't spend all day exchanging emails with everyone that has, at one time, paid attention to him/her on Uber.

I'm gonna guess: Method has 72 addresses from Uber tards, and rob has 23.

I think I have 5.

HOW CLOSE DID I COME HERE?

And now you've given Shlongy an idea for my bi-annual post. THANKS!

Submitted by rob_berg at 2008-11-16 14:22:18 EST (#)
Rating: 1


It's important to Shlongy that he lets the rest of us nerds see evidence that he actually steps away from the computer from time to time.

It can't be "SHOW ME YOUR HOLE" or "YOU SUCK" all the time... a guys gotta recharge.

Good luck you crazy little munchkin.

Submitted by Method at 2008-11-16 13:56:12 EST (#)
Rating: 0

They have this new invention called "email", you should look into it.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-11-16 11:11:08 EST (#)
Rating: 0

That will be the Friday spot after the Scorgies reunion show at the German House. It's my buddy's bar. I'll email you tomorrow.

Submitted by Badlands at 2008-11-16 11:05:23 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Over on Liberty Pole. Haven't been there yet, but have some friends who rave about it. They've apprently been booking some great local acts. I need to check it out.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-11-16 10:56:30 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Will do. I'll shoot you the itinerary tomorrow. You ever been to Abilene's yet?

Submitted by Badlands at 2008-11-16 10:42:37 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Email me - capote777.at.yahoo.com - and let me know your itinerary. I'm in Chicago until Wednesday night, but if you're out and about in the city after that, I'll find my way out for a cocktail or ten.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-11-15 20:34:21 EST (#)
Rating: -2

Hey Badlands...How do I get in touch with you?

I'm in Roch next week for the Scorgies reunion show.

Submitted by Badlands at 2008-11-15 20:04:34 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2008-11-15 19:27:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

i just played bethpage again yesterday. that place makes no sense. 31 dollars for a round? Do they realize they could easily charge 150 and people would be happy to pay it? What a fucking awesome place. When I die I want to go to bethpage.
------------
Fuck the Black. I've played it 5 times in my life. Never shot better than 91...and I'm an 11. Fucking long with unforgiving rough. Fuck the Black. (gorgeous course, though...and very adult pours in the bar).

Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-11-15 19:51:48 EST (#)
Rating: 0

You lucky fucker.

I've never played any of the courses at Bethpage but I DID just enter the Golf Digest contest yesterday, to play in the celebrity foursome right before the next Open at the Black.

Submitted by beeltea at 2008-11-15 19:27:27 EST (#)
Rating: 2

i just played bethpage again yesterday. that place makes no sense. 31 dollars for a round? Do they realize they could easily charge 150 and people would be happy to pay it? What a fucking awesome place. When I die I want to go to bethpage.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-11-15 19:03:03 EST (#)
Rating: 0

I agree 100% w/Joe Daddy.

Submitted by joedaddy at 2008-11-14 17:09:01 EST (#)
Rating: 2

fuck'm if they don't have a hole...


in the proper location, of course

Submitted by joedaddy at 2008-11-14 17:06:20 EST (#)
Rating: 2

14-3 and 1 baby boy!

seems that this year everyone want me to share my ST's

Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-11-14 16:15:38 EST (#)
Rating: 0

If you stick with the ones that I recommended, it ain't bad...considering it's 27 years old.

I'll recommend a few more, if I have to.

Submitted by Replen at 2008-11-14 15:51:58 EST (#)
Rating: 2

+2 cause I just downloaded some of your music and it's pretty fucking decent.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-11-10 18:47:11 EST (#)
Rating: 2

And, more importantly, who the fuck is Schladecaster???

Submitted by Yozz at 2008-11-10 18:40:47 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Who is Schlongy?

Submitted by Shadecaster at 2008-11-10 18:29:01 EST (#)
Rating: -2

And I thought Schlongy was ungly! LOL!

Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-11-07 07:56:14 EST (#)
Rating: 0

I don't know if it "jumped the shark" but I was laughing out loud...a lot.

Submitted by Sacrilicious at 2008-11-06 23:19:53 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Is it just me, or did I just witness It's Always Sunny jump the shark?

Submitted by elkay94 at 2008-11-05 18:04:21 EST (#)
Rating: -2

I'll follow my Alter, Bugblender.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-11-04 17:29:08 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by bugblender (user info) at 2008-11-02 08:27:02 EST (#)
Ranking: -2

I've only receive -2's from this fag.

And I aint parking cars at any of his event any more.




Do your posts REALLY deserve better than a -2?

Submitted by bugblender at 2008-11-02 08:27:02 EST (#)
Rating: -2

I've only receive -2's from this fag.

And I aint parking cars at any of his event any more.

Submitted by RestrictionsApply at 2008-10-21 11:59:20 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-10-17 18:43:06 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Last good post on Uber, according to the authority below:


Submitted by no1hasdis (user info) at 2008-10-17 17:14:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

The last good post on this site was June 02, 2008. Its amazing anyone comes here anymore.


Also, review number 300 on this gem.

Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH at 2008-09-23 16:12:01 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2008-06-03 10:35:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

fucking bosh

hey steal me that PBR sign and mail it to me.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-09-23 16:07:59 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

I wish I was one of those fags who used the "LOL" because if I did, I'd use it to respond to the pudlicker who just reviewed this post.


ROFLCOPTER@#$&^%#@$^($%$%&*(#&*()

Submitted by Kerblotto at 2008-09-23 15:59:34 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Tired and by tired I mean this sentence construction gets old.

Submitted by Kerblotto at 2008-09-23 15:58:23 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-08-15 17:26:57 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

It's so weird that you stopped by today, MsFist.

Not more than 48 hours ago, I spent some time in your "Uber body of work" wondering where the fuck you disappeared to.

Then, I wacked off to that picture of you and electro.

What's been happening? Divorced yet, so we can "do it"?

Submitted by MistressFist at 2008-08-15 15:40:34 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

How is my favorite Ubersite dipshit these days? Still tossing that little bitch Apollo's salad?

Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-08-07 20:15:31 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

I've always liked the name "Munkeypants".

It always seemed to me like there was a party going on in her panties.

I CAN'T HELP THAT.


Submitted by munkeypants at 2008-08-06 22:55:54 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

woody harrelson?

Submitted by fidelcity at 2008-08-06 21:24:44 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

you're so cool getting girls from the in'net.

Submitted by tatersninja at 2008-08-01 19:03:47 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Either / or.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-08-01 17:30:45 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

You want the entire list or just today's problems?

Submitted by tatersninja at 2008-08-01 16:03:56 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Wtf is your problem?

Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-07-27 09:08:55 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

I think you misheard her...she said that HER rack was fake.

Well, I guess you'll have to let me go motorboat on you.

Submitted by Professional_Peon at 2008-07-26 22:14:40 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I had to off her...

She called my boobs fake.



Glad to see you've moved on darlin!!!!

Submitted by Shadecaster at 2008-07-24 14:48:20 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Sounds like there's a wedding to crash.

Submitted by PukingDog at 2008-07-19 07:17:48 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

All your bitches are dogs. Or men.

And you said once that you didn't like ANY fiction, you liar.

Submitted by Wazza at 2008-07-19 06:38:05 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

For fucks sake man ,, i never thought you would clean up so good..

Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-06-30 17:02:23 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Glenn's mommy must have given him back his computer priveleges...

NOW BE A GOOD LITTLE BOY THIS TIME, GLENN, OR YOUR MOMMY AND DADDY WILL BE FORCED TO SPANK YOUR LITTLE PEE PEE, AGAIN.

Submitted by Glenn. at 2008-06-30 15:27:01 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Wow, you SO suck and the bitch in this photo looks like USMC material. Does Shlongy love the cock? Ooh RAH!

Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-06-25 22:23:21 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Holy shit...Well, this will certainly be a meeting of A-Listers.

We'll be there for the 20th Annual Squeezer Open. 12 dorks-a-golfing.

Well, 11, excluding Shlongy.

Your buddy nitty will be there, too. He's "hosting" this year.

It was the only way we'd let him return for a 4th year.

Submitted by apollo88 at 2008-06-25 21:44:24 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

oh man,

that's going to be awesome.



Submitted by apollo88 at 2008-06-25 21:44:03 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

that's it! myrtle beach!



Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-06-25 21:24:28 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Jesus H...It sounds like you're going to Myrtle Beach, too.

We'll be there at the same time...I never say this but I'll make an exception in this case: LOL

Email me when you get your dates/location together...This will be hilarious.

Submitted by apollo88 at 2008-06-25 19:44:08 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Not sure yet, someone else is arranging it, i think it might be first week in Oct but I'll check.

I don't even know where we are going, some place where there's lots of titty bars apparently.



Submitted by Val at 2008-06-25 00:26:49 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

I'm a good fruit picker. I can also make a mean meatball.

If Apollo is coming to South Carolina, does that mean we can have a CON?

Brendan's coming here next summer, Schlongy. Prepare your liver now.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-06-24 18:42:40 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Hilton Head Island, SOUTH Carolina, son.

That'd be great...I hope you're not here the week we go play in The Squeezer Open, though. We're actually in Myrtle Beach the first week-weekend in October.

Dates?

Submitted by apollo88 at 2008-06-24 17:11:02 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

shlong,

Me and a few mates are going on a golf weekend to South Carolina in October.

I can never remember are you NC or SC?

Either way if you fancy a round and a few beers let me know.

Cheers,

Enormo.



Submitted by cordelia at 2008-06-24 11:39:16 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-06-23 11:41:57 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by Val (user info) at 2008-06-22 16:30:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

WTF is with the shit job market in this fucking state?!?!



It's not really much worse than in any other state....For example, do you know how to pick fruit or mow a lawn? There's PLENTY of jobs around here.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-06-23 11:41:04 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2008-06-23 03:59:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

I love nothing more than having 2 Shlongy posts on every front page. Totally devoid of content and sitting on over 300 reviews, 60% of which are his, 100% of which about how great you have to be to write 40,000 reviews in under 4 years.


How is this "devoid of content"?

There's a story...there's a picture...there's an invitation...what more do you want, shithead?

Submitted by Mr_Trollope at 2008-06-23 04:17:07 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

wow . someones got their cock stuck in a roo

Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals at 2008-06-23 03:59:54 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

I love nothing more than having 2 Shlongy posts on every front page. Totally devoid of content and sitting on over 300 reviews, 60% of which are his, 100% of which about how great you have to be to write 40,000 reviews in under 4 years.

Submitted by Mr_Trollope at 2008-06-23 03:38:36 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Hey this is fantastic

Submitted by Chroniclysm at 2008-06-22 22:50:02 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I will take pictures of all the naked bridesmaids while they are tripping into an orgy with me...and share.

(20)

Submitted by Bubba2341 at 2008-06-22 17:15:03 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-06-05 12:04:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

150 more visits and I'll have 300,000 hits, which I will use to trade in for the "Croquet Set" on page 31 of the Uber Hit Redemption Catalog.
------
Reviews like this is why Shlongy is so famous!

Submitted by Val at 2008-06-22 16:30:34 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

WTF is with the shit job market in this fucking state?!?!

Submitted by haikumikoo at 2008-06-19 14:02:14 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Oops, forgot to rate
































































fatty.

Submitted by haikumikoo at 2008-06-12 09:56:26 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Huh.

I'm just surprised you had time to respond in between meals.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-06-12 09:43:31 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

That picture is deceiving because I am a flatbelly. Ask all the Uber chicks.

I have no idea why every other picture I take I look like a fatass. Must be the lighting.

Submitted by haikumikoo at 2008-06-12 09:36:05 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Like this:

Study for final, ask for a blowjob, rejected, study more, ask again, somehow accepted, more studying, need break, hope uber will entertain, instead thoroughly disturbed by old red guy with gut, study, head rub, sleep.

Pretty soon you won't even need belts at the pace your belly is expanding.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-06-12 08:03:48 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Why are you morons on Uber at 2am?

How does that work for you?

Submitted by haikumikoo at 2008-06-12 02:44:38 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

You're so...so red.

Submitted by Mud at 2008-06-12 02:25:19 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

me first, then do phallic

Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals at 2008-06-12 02:14:49 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

You should respond to this review about 5 times and call me a dipshit.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-06-11 20:03:57 EDT (#)
Rating: 0


Submitted by rob_berg at 2008-06-11 19:36:20 EDT (#)
Rating: 1


Keep up the fine work Shlongy_Berg

Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-06-11 15:31:40 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

The BIG difference is that when people review MY posts, they WANT Shlongy to respond to them, shitforbrains.

And I don't cut n' paste their review before I do so.

Submitted by rob_berg at 2008-06-11 14:52:03 EDT (#)
Rating: 1


My oh MY - just look at how many times you commented on your own post.

How very 'Rob Berg'.

Good for you, buddy.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-06-10 21:37:08 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Hot Uber broads immediately below

Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-06-10 20:44:13 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

OK...I tried again...from a different account.

Submitted by MANICMOTHER at 2008-06-10 19:56:58 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

and no it wasn't to a .com address

Submitted by MANICMOTHER at 2008-06-10 19:55:14 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Didn't get it and it seems you didn't get mine. Let's try again.
manicmother1.at.hotmail.com

Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-06-10 19:51:27 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Obviously not, or I would have replied.

I was going to ask YOU the same thing. Sounds like you DID get mine.

I emailed you what...a week ago?

Make SURE you have the address right....it's NOT ".com".


Submitted by MANICMOTHER at 2008-06-10 19:39:35 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Did you get my e-mail or what?

Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-06-10 19:00:51 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Done...But I didn't attach any sexy pictures of me this time, if you don't mind.

Submitted by TigerLilly at 2008-06-10 18:20:11 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Yo...e-mail me.

Patscheerlder.at.aol.com

Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-06-09 11:18:27 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

DEAD POST.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-06-06 00:55:14 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

While I thank you for the +2, I have to ask...what the fuck are you talking about?

Submitted by PayMeLater at 2008-06-05 21:28:10 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

JESUS CHRIST

DO YOU HAVE A PUSSY OR SOMETHING

VERBAL RESPONSE ONLY PLEASE

Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-06-05 16:34:12 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

In your dreams, faggoteer.

Submitted by GangsterSquid at 2008-06-05 16:28:45 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

One more post on the front page and this piece of shit is GONE.

Submitted by orphelia at 2008-06-05 15:42:34 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

HEAT

Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-06-05 12:04:39 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

150 more visits and I'll have 300,000 hits, which I will use to trade in for the "Croquet Set" on page 31 of the Uber Hit Redemption Catalog.

Submitted by firefly at 2008-06-05 10:02:25 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by lechuza at 2008-06-05 02:10:04 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by Method (user info) at 2008-06-04 08:24:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

"I saw a girl on the train today.

I had seen her before, but she had never noticed me because I'm a creepy, middle aged ginger homosexual with a pink scarf"

The car was crowded. I was sitting and holding a paperback novel and she was standing in front on me."

------------------------------------

I would read that

Submitted by darko at 2008-06-04 22:22:19 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

13 goals 14 assists, I think Zetterberg gets the Conn Smythe

Submitted by darko at 2008-06-04 22:20:19 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

this time we'll get the cup! What a fucking awesome goal with the goal tender butting it in.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-06-04 22:06:15 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Boy. This sure died quickly.

Maybe I'll quit Uber, too.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-06-04 16:52:37 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by GangsterSquid (user info) at 2008-06-04 16:45:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

OH SO WHAT LINE ARE WE GOING TO WALK, SHLONGY?


THE REAL ONE OR THE FAKE ONE?

CAN'T DISTINGUISH UBERSITE FROM REALITY, CAN YOU?







You go out of your way to piss me off, Shlongy and you do it daily. Then you have the nerve to send me your address in SC, your employer's address, your PHONE NUMBER and your WIFE'S FULL NAME????







What a fucking lying nutcase.



Whoever is emailing oathmeal- if there really IS someone doing so, and that's doubtful - knock it off before "Mr. Snappo" goes postal on me and the entire island down here.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-06-04 16:36:03 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Here oathy....here boy....SIT. SPEAK. ROLL OVER.

Submitted by Charlton_H at 2008-06-04 15:26:51 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

GODDAMNIT I almost had him.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-06-04 15:16:21 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

That doesn't sound so bad.
























I mean, SHUT THE FUCK UP, YOU HOMO.

Submitted by Charlton_H at 2008-06-04 15:11:31 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Just put in the tip and then pull it out really quickly.


500 times.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-06-04 15:06:51 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Ummmmm...I think I'll pass on that offer, "Thanks".

Submitted by Charlton_H at 2008-06-04 14:59:51 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I'll pretend I'm a woman for a few minutes.

Close your eyes and let me work my magic.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-06-04 14:19:09 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

I wish that more Uber broads would swing by this post...instead of the group of "D-Listers" that have seemingly set up shop here.

Submitted by sadie73 at 2008-06-04 14:08:42 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Apollo/Method below..

:D

Submitted by Charlton_H at 2008-06-04 13:30:20 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

This post smells lemony.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-06-04 11:09:38 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

If you liked the text, the post was even more magnificent, if you ask me.

Submitted by Ejryuu at 2008-06-04 11:01:16 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I only read the text that was part of the picture so I'll rate that.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-06-04 10:43:50 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Not bad, eh?

Submitted by simple_catalyst at 2008-06-04 10:41:02 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

wow.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-06-04 08:44:40 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

maybe YOU should take over the Jack McCallum account.

You nailed it.

Next time, do a Shlongy post for me. It's not that difficult.

Submitted by Method at 2008-06-04 08:24:04 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

I can just imagine what goes on in those fucking emails between Bubba and Jack

------------------------

Jack: I have a great idea! Let's both use the Charlton_H alter to really confuse people! That way, when people say it's me, I can deny it and not be lying!

Bubba: Oh man that is a GREAT idea!!!! Those ASSHEADS wont know what hit them! STUPID JERKS won't be able to sleep at night, trying to figure out who it REALLY IS!!!

Jack: I'm so glad I'm over 40 and single, without a steady career, It's great having so much time to post my quality novels on a wannabe meme site like uber

Bubba: And I'm glad I'm over 60 and fired from my day job 12 days before retiring because I would come into work all wild eyed, with my hair all disheveled, belligerent and babbling incoherently, frightening the customers

Jack: Yeah, lifes great

Bubba: Yeah. Hey, let's make out. I'll pretend to be my underage niece Sadie, and you can pretend you're Ron Weasley

Jack: Sure thing, let me just put the finishing touches on my latest masterpiece. What do you think of this


"I saw a girl on the train today.

I had seen her before, but she had never noticed me because I'm a creepy, middle aged ginger homosexual with a pink scarf"

The car was crowded. I was sitting and holding a paperback novel and she was standing in front on me."

Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-06-04 07:14:04 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

"Crowbarred"....Buahahahahahahahah classic

Submitted by Wildman at 2008-06-04 00:44:15 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Everything was going fine till the old cringe-master Bubba crowbared his way into the reviews.

Submitted by iambetteratit at 2008-06-04 00:41:48 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Savannah... river street...alcohol... slutty slutty SCAD bitches.. can't beat that

Submitted by apollo88 at 2008-06-03 23:11:49 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

do you think bubba's going to end up on the news?

i do.



Submitted by Glenn. at 2008-06-03 23:09:58 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

A 'recycle bin' is not a Proper Noun, DoucheBag. YoU SUCK.

Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB at 2008-06-03 22:18:00 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Heh.

Submitted by BubbaEarl at 2008-06-03 22:03:22 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

i don't come here to hone my writing skills, you tard. what d'ya think this is? a serious writers forum? frikken cuntdrip.

Submitted by sadie73 at 2008-06-03 21:58:39 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Mr. Earl, you have the writing talent of a retard. Bitch.

Submitted by BubbaEarl at 2008-06-03 21:51:26 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

showed me my ass?

i s'pose i should be thankful i'm not a 7-yr-old boy.



or your grandson

Submitted by sadie73 at 2008-06-03 21:46:28 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Keep slobbering, Earl. I showed you your ass for not being able to write properly, so
EAT SHIT AND DIE!!!

Submitted by BubbaEarl at 2008-06-03 21:42:15 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

stfu grandalf, you unemployed sack o' shit!

aren't there some teenagers you should be grooming... fucking 2 bit pedo.




Submitted by sadie73 at 2008-06-03 21:36:41 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by BubbaEarl (user info) at 2008-06-03 21:29:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

hey shlongy, are you not yet at the point where you'd rather have michael j fox shave your nuts then read another bubba2341/sadie/charltonh review?



give it a couple more minutes...
=\==============
Not "then," dipshit. The word should be THAN!!!! My God you are STUPID!!!!!


FUCKING IDIOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Submitted by BubbaEarl at 2008-06-03 21:29:54 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

hey shlongy, are you not yet at the point where you'd rather have michael j fox shave your nuts then read another bubba2341/sadie/charltonh review?



give it a couple more minutes...

Submitted by lungfish at 2008-06-03 21:27:47 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2008-06-03 21:21:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Sure...why not. But I'm still going to take my nap now.


Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2008-06-03 21:17:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

I was talking to the Uber politic, in general. Don't correct my spelling. But why is it "condecend," but "descend." No need to answer. I really don't care, and it's nap-time.

-------

Retard above.

Naps are weak. Nevertheless.... I mean it this time.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-06-03 21:25:41 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

I don't really care WHO has the stupid alter these days.

I just know it burns Jack's ass every time I say that.

THAT MAKES IT ALL SO WORTH THE EFFORT.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-06-03 21:24:45 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I'm about to do the same...Only at this hour, we on the east coast don't call it a nap.

I stayed up WAY too late watching the hockey game that would never end last night.

Submitted by sadie73 at 2008-06-03 21:23:56 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

OK, Shlongdude, here we go...... Read the crap about the Charlton post and you'll find that Jack gave that up a while back. Believe me, I know whereof I speak.

Submitted by lungfish at 2008-06-03 21:21:40 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Sure...why not. But I'm still going to take my nap now.


Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2008-06-03 21:17:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

I was talking to the Uber politic, in general. Don't correct my spelling. But why is it "condecend," but "descend." No need to answer. I really don't care, and it's nap-time.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-06-03 21:15:22 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

"pwned" is one of the gayest expressions ever.

I guess you aren't invited, JACK.

Remember, "No Homos".

Submitted by Charlton_H at 2008-06-03 21:02:43 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-06-03 20:07:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

i don't like the taste of polyester, sorry

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-06-03 19:58:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Care to lick the barbecue sauce off the front of my shirt?

You can be third in line to do so.



PWNED SAYETH THE LORD

Submitted by X54 at 2008-06-03 20:12:09 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-06-03 16:57:26 PDT (#)
Ranking: 0

my "you know who you are" post is nothing (literally) except young ones quotes in the reviews.

------------

Things are starting to make sense now.

Submitted by experima at 2008-06-03 20:07:50 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

i don't like the taste of polyester, sorry

Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-06-03 19:58:43 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Care to lick the barbecue sauce off the front of my shirt?

You can be third in line to do so.

Submitted by experima at 2008-06-03 19:57:26 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

my "you know who you are" post is nothing (literally) except young ones quotes in the reviews.

Submitted by X54 at 2008-06-03 19:48:11 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-06-03 16:02:23 PDT (#)
Ranking: -2

Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2008-06-03 14:56:01 PDT (#)
Ranking: 1

Ha ha.

"In 20 words or less-"

Cornflakes.
Cornflakes Cornflakes Cornflakes Cornflakes Cornflakes Cornflakes Cornflakes Cornflakes.
Cornflakes.

---------

ha! another fan!

-----------------

I knew I'd find at least one around this place.

Submitted by experima at 2008-06-03 19:11:02 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

i'm quite certain you can flip yourself in four minutes or less...but i'll pass

Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-06-03 19:05:19 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Let's have some cyber sex...I'm grilling chicken and burgers and have like 4 minutes before I have to flip anything.

Submitted by experima at 2008-06-03 19:02:23 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2008-06-03 14:56:01 PDT (#)
Ranking: 1

Ha ha.

"In 20 words or less-"

Cornflakes.
Cornflakes Cornflakes Cornflakes Cornflakes Cornflakes Cornflakes Cornflakes Cornflakes.
Cornflakes.

---------

ha! another fan!

Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-06-03 18:50:09 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Don't feel bad about that...I've read it like 14 times and I keep laughing at it, too.

Submitted by Director at 2008-06-03 18:47:33 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I mean, Shlongy.

Submitted by Director at 2008-06-03 18:47:17 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I laughed, Shnozy.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-06-03 18:47:03 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Shlongy-posts are one of the few ways to bring hairycoo out of Uber retirement.

Still playing cards?



PS. Crystle - WHAT standards?

When I'm drinking, which is pretty much all the time...i HAVE no standards.

None that I could possible adhere to, anyway.

Submitted by Crystle at 2008-06-03 18:44:52 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

but I don't meet your standards, Shlongy!!


also... Hairycoo! Long time... when you flying over again?

Submitted by hairycoo at 2008-06-03 18:43:19 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

ok i was amused

Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-06-03 18:42:42 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

You most certainly are.

So, do you want to have some real sex?

Submitted by Crystle at 2008-06-03 18:10:16 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I'm a real girl

Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-06-03 18:04:26 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Well, I'll give you this much: That's certainly less than 20 words.

Submitted by X54 at 2008-06-03 17:56:01 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

Ha ha.

"In 20 words or less-"

Cornflakes.
Cornflakes Cornflakes Cornflakes Cornflakes Cornflakes Cornflakes Cornflakes Cornflakes.
Cornflakes.


Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-06-03 17:20:36 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

When I mentioned that this party was "a good deal", I meant "a good deal for Shlongy".

Submitted by pen_name at 2008-06-03 17:00:16 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

I guess shlong invited me, but I don't see how a 2 is worth an a pack of pro-v's

Submitted by Brdn_Nkd at 2008-06-03 16:06:59 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-06-03 12:59:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Sweet! I'm on the list, having received no less than three +2s from Shlongy. I'd bring a bottle of JW Blue but my friend who was traveling back from Afica couldn't be bothered to remember to pick it up in the Amsterdam Duty-Free and if I'm dropping $300 on a bottle of hooch I'm damn sure drinking at least half of it.

Also: I was in your area (I think) the other weekend, as it happens we stayed right in the middle of Spoleto at the hotel they made out of the Old Citadel. Very artsy, very fartsy. Brdn_Nkd would have been impressed with the mosaics and encouraged at how much rich idiots were dropping on them.






if i could just finish one. nearly there though and progress will continue tonight. i'm so close i can taste it. though grout doesn't taste all that good, especially with the additive in it.

Submitted by sadie73 at 2008-06-03 15:52:15 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

SSS* below

















Shit Stirrer Shlongy. :D

Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-06-03 15:45:58 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

HEY NOW- There will be no FIGHTING in my post.



Well, unless I'm involved.

We can start by having oathy eat shit.

Submitted by sadie73 at 2008-06-03 15:37:06 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Shut UP, Hadley. Fucking motor mouth.

Submitted by HadToBeDone at 2008-06-03 15:26:12 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by sadie73 (user info) at 2008-06-03 14:49:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-06-03 14:46:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

So, who does Shlongy hate this week?
==========
Silly Wabbit. Shlongy hates everybody!!
-----
STFU Bubba

Submitted by sadie73 at 2008-06-03 14:49:24 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-06-03 14:46:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

So, who does Shlongy hate this week?
==========
Silly Wabbit. Shlongy hates everybody!!

Submitted by GangsterSquid at 2008-06-03 14:48:15 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Submitted by GangsterSquid (user info) at 2008-06-02 21:50:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

fuck off

Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-06-03 14:46:37 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

So, who does Shlongy hate this week?

Submitted by Fey at 2008-06-03 14:32:20 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2008-06-03 12:05:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2008-06-03 10:03:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Because you like me.

ghola doesn't I don't think, what with the burning of dandelions and the me as an uppity noob being compared to her thing.
---
dandelions are my favorite flower.
i don't remember disliking you. it's good that you're keeping up with it for me. otherwise, how would i know?

____

I could provide a service. It's a new market, a new niche. I can keep track of peoples grudges for them.

Submitted by sadie73 at 2008-06-03 14:04:15 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Shlongy, are you still gonna be unemployed soon?

Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-06-03 13:55:23 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

I wrote while drunk.
It's a crazy world...

Submitted by sadie73 at 2008-06-03 13:54:26 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I reread this post while sober. Shlongy make funny.

Submitted by Badlands at 2008-06-03 13:01:43 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Cheez-Its are AWESOME.

Submitted by skrapmetal at 2008-06-03 12:59:13 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Sweet! I'm on the list, having received no less than three +2s from Shlongy. I'd bring a bottle of JW Blue but my friend who was traveling back from Afica couldn't be bothered to remember to pick it up in the Amsterdam Duty-Free and if I'm dropping $300 on a bottle of hooch I'm damn sure drinking at least half of it.

Also: I was in your area (I think) the other weekend, as it happens we stayed right in the middle of Spoleto at the hotel they made out of the Old Citadel. Very artsy, very fartsy. Brdn_Nkd would have been impressed with the mosaics and encouraged at how much rich idiots were dropping on them.

Submitted by no1hasdis at 2008-06-03 12:38:16 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by GangsterSquid at 2008-06-03 12:10:57 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Ghola is an ugly lesbian creature.

Leave it alone -- when you instigate it, it likes to spew forth senseless emo gibberish.

Submitted by Fucking foul at 2008-06-03 12:08:28 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Congratulations to you two adorable kids. I take it you're registered at Bass Pro Shops again, just like the last one?

PS I'm pretty sure her real name is Scotch. Or um. Vodka. Something like that.

Submitted by ghola at 2008-06-03 12:05:28 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2008-06-03 10:03:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Because you like me.

ghola doesn't I don't think, what with the burning of dandelions and the me as an uppity noob being compared to her thing.
---
dandelions are my favorite flower.
i don't remember disliking you. it's good that you're keeping up with it for me. otherwise, how would i know?

Submitted by FALLEN at 2008-06-03 11:55:03 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I'm in.

http://www.ubersite.com/m/115857#2681920

I've got a taste for livin'.....
I'm drinkin cold Blue Ribbon....

Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-06-03 11:37:05 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

buhahahahahahahahah Orgasmo made a funny

Submitted by Orgasmatron at 2008-06-03 11:00:53 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Aww, it looks like Vern Troyer finally got his Make-A-Wish Foundation date with Dolores O'Riordan.

Submitted by orphelia at 2008-06-03 10:59:30 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2008-06-03 15:03:35 BST (#)
Ranking: 2

Because you like me.

ghola doesn't I don't think, what with the burning of dandelions and the me as an uppity noob being compared to her thing.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ghola = isn't alone.

lol

Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-06-03 10:50:16 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Bosh- I want that sign, too.

It would look SWEET in the bedroom.

Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys at 2008-06-03 10:43:40 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2008-06-03 15:16:53 BST (#)
Ranking: 2

ever since (TToM I think) posted about you & Freddy Krueger, that's all I can think of when I see your face.

It's creeping me out, honestly.


http://www.ubersite.com/m/86191 A Shlongmare on Uberstreet

Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH at 2008-06-03 10:35:54 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

fucking bosh

hey steal me that PBR sign and mail it to me.

I'm not a good golfer but I shot the best round of my life last weekend (84).

since i'll probably be broke after paying for gas to get to SC, all i can promise as a gift is maybe a 6 pack of PBR and any rolling stone issue from 2007, when i was a subscriber.

Actually i'll just make photo copies of it, i'm not parting with any of them.

Submitted by shadow at 2008-06-03 10:16:53 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

ever since (TToM I think) posted about you & Freddy Krueger, that's all I can think of when I see your face.

It's creeping me out, honestly.

Submitted by apollo88 at 2008-06-03 10:04:17 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

102 here yesterday.

last summer wasn't so bad but this one is shaping up to be hotter than methods underpants.



Submitted by Fey at 2008-06-03 10:03:35 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Because you like me.

ghola doesn't I don't think, what with the burning of dandelions and the me as an uppity noob being compared to her thing.

Submitted by orphelia at 2008-06-03 08:58:27 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-06-03 08:38:09 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

I remember that post, TTOM. I LOVED Shlongy, P.I.

Thought it merited a series.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-06-03 08:34:47 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by Val (user info) at 2008-06-03 02:19:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

It's going to be 99 degrees here on Wednesday. Stock up on beer now. And crack your windows. :(




It's hotter than Toby's touchhole here, too.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-06-03 08:33:23 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by orph (user info) at 2008-06-03 03:49:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

Well this was boring.


REALLY? Even more boring than your own last 14 posts?

Wow.

Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys at 2008-06-03 08:33:02 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

http://www.ubersite.com/m/85200 is why i should attend.
Shit, for that I should be fucking best man.

...

Not FUCKING the best man but fucking best man.

Uh...

or something.

Plus I can bring Whisky. The real stuff, not the watered down crap most colonials produce.

PS Show us her hole

Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-06-03 08:29:28 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

931 hits? The counter must be broken.

I'm getting bart on the dork phone immediately.

Submitted by The_Drake at 2008-06-03 08:09:38 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Perfect.

AND I have gotten a bunch of +2's from you.

AND I can afford the Gas.

AND...I...Uhhh....am not a homo.



....And I like PBR?

Submitted by woolfe at 2008-06-03 08:00:23 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Submitted by Aussie_em (user info) at 2008-06-03 07:41:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

fuck yeah! i get an invite!
thanks for that +2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/116502#2705005
--------
Pull your tongue out of my arsehole, Gary. Dogs do that. You're not a dog, are ya Gary?

Submitted by Aussie_em at 2008-06-03 07:41:53 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

fuck yeah! i get an invite!
thanks for that +2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/116502#2705005


Submitted by Berty at 2008-06-03 06:59:16 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

A veritabe lolapalooza.

Submitted by HurtByTheSun at 2008-06-03 05:30:04 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by centaur at 2008-06-03 04:54:58 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

Is Gola one of these people that has a long body and short legs?

She looks the sort.

Submitted by LittleMonster at 2008-06-03 04:37:28 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by czwij at 2008-06-03 04:11:11 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

beastiality legal in SC?

joke.

it's nice that her being handicapped (blind) doesn't bother you
just don't let her "see you" with her fingers.

joke again!

congrats.

another joke, i could care less!

fuck, i'm rolling here

Submitted by orph at 2008-06-03 03:49:56 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Well this was boring.

Submitted by kristy at 2008-06-03 03:45:41 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Great.

Submitted by redskieslookfake at 2008-06-03 02:37:41 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by Val at 2008-06-03 02:19:39 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

It's going to be 99 degrees here on Wednesday. Stock up on beer now. And crack your windows. :(

Submitted by pen_name at 2008-06-03 01:01:19 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Last night I watched an episode of Home Improvement where Tim bought Pistons season tickets. Jill didn't like the purchase thinking it too expensive so Tim started selling some to his friends.

One asked how they would share playoff tickets and I laughed and laughed and laughed.

In fact, I laughed all the way into commercial, so I never figured out how they split those.

Submitted by Yozz at 2008-06-03 00:54:37 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Penguins FTW

Submitted by pen_name at 2008-06-03 00:48:22 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Submitted by darko at 2008-06-03 00:47:43 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

hey pen_name: 18-1!

Submitted by pen_name at 2008-06-03 00:47:03 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Submitted by darko at 2008-06-03 00:46:30 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

sonofabitch

Submitted by Yozz at 2008-06-03 00:38:30 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Hey Shlongy - Do you know what RSVP stands for?






















Wait for it.
















Remember Zee Vedding Present.

Submitted by darko at 2008-06-03 00:07:29 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

I can't believe they are playing Relax at Joe Louis Arena right now

Submitted by iddqd at 2008-06-02 23:58:15 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

well break out the little letters chart, because (s)he is a boy whose eaten too much hormone chicken to me.

Submitted by darko at 2008-06-02 23:49:54 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

and this is about the same damn call

Submitted by pandora at 2008-06-02 23:48:46 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Funny post and you guys are very cute, even if Shlongy has a pants boner.

Anybody who thinks ghola looks like a boy needs an eye test.


Submitted by iddqd at 2008-06-02 23:44:38 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-06-02 22:49:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2


A lot has changed since I graduated from college, I see...

---

there was college in the mesozoic era?


ill be here all week.

Submitted by darko at 2008-06-02 23:35:03 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

no, that would have been a good call but it wasn't made, the call was after the first shot in that series of 3 shots.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-06-02 23:31:52 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

They escaped that mess...there will be more calls in OT as these guys get tired.

Submitted by pen_name at 2008-06-02 23:29:50 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Which was the bs call...the one where the detroit player was kicking the goalie with his skate?

Submitted by darko at 2008-06-02 23:24:31 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

bullshit call by the nhl who wants this to go 7 games

Submitted by darko at 2008-06-02 23:23:44 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

should have been game over right there

Submitted by darko at 2008-06-02 23:19:11 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

This feels like a boxing match

Submitted by lungfish at 2008-06-02 23:13:39 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

fuck fuck fuck fuckity fuck fuck fuck fuckin' d'backs fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck

congrats and shit

fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck

Submitted by BeforeEmily at 2008-06-02 23:13:28 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Submitted by chipolatte at 2008-06-02 23:08:46 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

you look like john locke. lost john locke of course.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-06-02 23:03:53 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Everyone should be...I would.

Submitted by scourge at 2008-06-02 23:02:12 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

i'm +2ing the pabst blue ribbon sign.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-06-02 22:49:59 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

ROUND???

Since fucking when?


A lot has changed since I graduated from college, I see...

Submitted by Stagger_Lee at 2008-06-02 22:45:48 EDT (#)
Rating: 2


Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-06-03 12:44:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0

No way...it's 10:43pm EST...and we are about to go into overtime in Game 5 of the NHL playoffs...so we could be up for a while.

-------

I can barely get my head around the idea that the earth is round, let alone remember time zones.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-06-02 22:45:06 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

See... I TOLD you motherfuckers that Shlongy is popular in Australia.

Kind of like the love the French have for Jerry Lewis.

You can't understand why...it just "is".

Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-06-02 22:44:06 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

No way...it's 10:43pm EST...and we are about to go into overtime in Game 5 of the NHL playoffs...so we could be up for a while.

Submitted by iddqd at 2008-06-02 22:44:06 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

pretty funny for a small reptile

Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-06-02 22:43:00 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2008-06-02 22:39:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

HadToBeDone (user info) 37 on 48 = 0.77



Damn. That don't seem right.



And you think Shlongy is a "meanie"....I guess with the weight problem and such, sometimes it DOES get pretty confusing around here.

Submitted by Stagger_Lee at 2008-06-02 22:42:44 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

12:40

It's gotta be like 3 in the morning there, y'all should be in bed.

Submitted by JonnyX at 2008-06-02 22:41:23 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

BEHOLD! The Prom King and Prom Queen of Ubersite!!!

Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-06-02 22:41:21 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Greetings, Australia! What the fuck time is it there?

Darko...35 seconds left...Oh well, we needed us some OT anyway.

Submitted by Stagger_Lee at 2008-06-02 22:39:53 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-06-03 11:40:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0

Shlongy's act plays pretty well in Australia, too.

-------

Hello.

Submitted by GangsterSquid at 2008-06-02 22:39:38 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

hahahaa I just reread this.

You sure can write, Mr. Baseball Writer!!

Submitted by darko at 2008-06-02 22:39:28 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

SONOFABITCH

Submitted by HadToBeDone at 2008-06-02 22:39:02 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

HadToBeDone (user info) 37 on 48 = 0.77



Damn. That don't seem right.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-06-02 22:38:40 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Darko- Your rating is better than my OWN rating for myself.

YOU'RE KICKING ASS HERE, CHIEF.

Submitted by darko at 2008-06-02 22:38:04 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Agreed, when adjusted for the lack of boobs on my part it's quite a respectable score considering you are often either +2 or -2

Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-06-02 22:37:01 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

At least they've got the "depressed" vibe down pat, man.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-06-02 22:36:11 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

In the total scheme of things, that's really not too shabby.

If you had a REALLY high rating, you probably would have a vagina and that CAN'T be good for a young man like yourself.

Submitted by bob at 2008-06-02 22:35:30 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-06-02 22:33:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, bob, but every time I hook up with this chick, she has a bunch of other men with her.

So your "bridesmaid" might have a penis, if you don't mind that. GO FOR IT, DUDE!
___________________
FUCK!

Oh well, a vulnerable bridesmaid is a vulnerable bridesmaid.

Submitted by darko at 2008-06-02 22:34:58 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

darko (user info) -8 on 88 = -0.09

Eh, sounds about right

Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-06-02 22:33:28 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, bob, but every time I hook up with this chick, she has a bunch of other men with her.

So your "bridesmaid" might have a penis, if you don't mind that. GO FOR IT, DUDE!

Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-06-02 22:31:41 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Everyone has NOT received the coveted Shlongy "+2".

I have like around 25 posters (see Uber stats- http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/moreinfo.cgi?uber=Shlongy) who are still averaging perfect -2's from Shlongy.

Submitted by darko at 2008-06-02 22:31:27 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

I think it hurts Osgood that only 5 of his 13 wins so far have been by 1 goal margins. Maybe if this stays at 3-2, but I think it'll get to 4-2.

Submitted by bob at 2008-06-02 22:30:30 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Great! The mum always loves a good wedding.

Tell ghola that she better have some hot bridesmaids who are easily depressed...or else.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-06-02 22:29:16 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I think you ARE, bob.

Bring your mom...we have some unfinished business to attend to.

Submitted by HadToBeDone at 2008-06-02 22:28:53 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Well hell...even I've gotten a +2 from Shlongy. Hasn't everyone, by that metric?

Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-06-02 22:28:34 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Ummm, I just counted ONE, you fucking idiot. HOW MANY DID YOU COUNT?

You have a point?


Never mind...you're too fucking stupid to have one.

Submitted by bob at 2008-06-02 22:28:17 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I'm invited!

HELL YEA!

Submitted by darko at 2008-06-02 22:28:15 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

13 goals 5 assists still looks damn good though, even though he missed an entire series i think he might get it.

Submitted by sadie73 at 2008-06-02 22:26:52 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

How many times can you type congratulations in one post, you retard??

Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-06-02 22:25:10 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

It was GOING to be Franzen before he got hurt...

Now, maybe Osgood?

Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-06-02 22:24:15 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Research has shown that in the entire life of the Uber website, ONE moron and one moron only has ever typed "asswipe" into a review.

And that moron is Bubba.


CONGRATULATIONS!

Submitted by Charlton_H at 2008-06-02 22:23:28 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Yeah!

Submitted by darko at 2008-06-02 22:23:25 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Conn Smythe predictions?

Submitted by sadie73 at 2008-06-02 22:22:32 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-06-02 22:17:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

OH GOODY...BUBBA AND ALL OF HIS ALTERS ARE -2ing ME...I DON'T THINK I CAN LIVE THROUGH THIS ONE.
===================
WHAT ALTERS, YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE? I'm Sadie, you short little asswipe!!

Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-06-02 22:18:05 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Told you...Pittsburgh doesn't have a shot on goal in the third...

Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-06-02 22:17:19 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

OH GOODY...BUBBA AND ALL OF HIS ALTERS ARE -2ing ME...I DON'T THINK I CAN LIVE THROUGH THIS ONE.

Submitted by darko at 2008-06-02 22:16:35 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

and just like that, tied up!

Submitted by darko at 2008-06-02 22:16:08 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

They came out with so much energy and were outplaying Detroit that the wings are quite lucky it's still this close, and hopefully the penguins are tired and the series ends tonight.

Submitted by sadie73 at 2008-06-02 22:15:46 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Rated on content. There weren't none, baldy. You SUCK!!!!

Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-06-02 22:14:48 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Two grand slams in the last 3 minutes in two different baseball games...

Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-06-02 22:12:29 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

darko- It looks like the ice is tilted now...and Pittsburgh is skating uphill.

This entire period will be played in their own end, based on the first 4 minutes of the third.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-06-02 22:11:45 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-06-02 22:10:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

my jerking is over for now
you'll just have to get it up again later, i'm afraid


MAYBE WE CAN I.M. LATER!!!

Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-06-02 22:10:51 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

I'm a bit concerned with the lack of "entries" on why you should be invited, in 25 words or less.

OR DOES NO ONE READ THESE POSTS?

I know I don't.

Submitted by darko at 2008-06-02 22:10:31 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

I thought it was fucking tied there

Submitted by experima at 2008-06-02 22:10:21 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

my jerking is over for now
you'll just have to get it up again later, i'm afraid

Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-06-02 22:07:55 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-06-02 21:55:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

i helped jerk 2 of yours, too, jack, if that was a dig at me


I'd settle for you jerking the ONE of MINE, if you catch my drift.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-06-02 22:03:50 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

No way, man. That's where you're mistaken.

The first one looks beautiful.


Oops...I've said too much.

Submitted by monkeyswithguns at 2008-06-02 21:59:45 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

The offspring will be horrendous.

Go with artificial insemination.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-06-02 21:57:27 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Submitted by GangsterSquid (user info) at 2008-06-02 21:50:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

fuck off



Buahauahah and WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-06-02 21:57:00 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

TigerLilly- You were with me in spirit, baby.

I thought of you when I went to the bathroom for a quick wank.

YOU'RE NEVER TOO FAR FROM MY HEART...or groin.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-06-02 21:55:42 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Jack- You COULD grow up and rate this on actual merit, jack.

Or are you still mad because I remind you about your cheating on all Uber contests two or three times a week?

I gave you +2's on 2 of your last 7 posts, Mister. Remember those 2 that didn't FUCKING SUCK?

Submitted by experima at 2008-06-02 21:55:04 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

i helped jerk 2 of yours, too, jack, if that was a dig at me

Submitted by TigerLilly at 2008-06-02 21:54:01 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

:( Wish I were there.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-06-02 21:53:59 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Thanks, Ex...did you use the right email address or did you, - and I pray that this didn't happen - accidently send it off to rob_berg or Director?

Submitted by Jack_McCallum at 2008-06-02 21:52:33 EDT (#)
Rating: -2


Just when I was worrying that there weren't enough circle jerks on Uber.


Submitted by GangsterSquid at 2008-06-02 21:50:33 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

fuck off

Submitted by experima at 2008-06-02 21:49:16 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

you like me too much. that's the problem.

holes away!

Submitted by Linus at 2008-06-02 21:48:42 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

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Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-06-02 21:43:30 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

experima- did you just say something?


Let me check my email real quick and see if that picture of your hole has come in yet.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-06-02 21:42:20 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Linus has been pissed off at Shlongy ever since he came home from school one day and caught his mom bobbing up and down and slobbering on Shlongy's knob.

I know it's been traumatic for you...BUT WHY DO YOU BLAME SHLONGY for your mom's horrid taste in men?

Submitted by experima at 2008-06-02 21:41:16 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

how meh. i gave you the perfect setup for a great experima slam.

hotwillie you're not

Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-06-02 21:40:30 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

I can't wait for Europe to show up with their customary +2 barrage at around 4am EST.

Shlongy's act plays pretty well in Australia, too.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-06-02 21:39:22 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

If the hockey game goes to overtime, I'll get the review percentage up to experima standards at around the standard 81% self-reviews.

Submitted by pen_name at 2008-06-02 21:39:18 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Edward Rochester's got it going on.

Submitted by Linus at 2008-06-02 21:38:50 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

I like to be clean.

Die, now preferably.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-06-02 21:37:00 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Linus- Do you wash your fingers before you type on your keyboard?

Or have you simply become accustomed to typing over snot-covered keys?

INQUIRING MINDS WANT TO KNOW.

Submitted by experima at 2008-06-02 21:35:48 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

how's the happy camper? only half the reviews are from shlongy...you're still not up to experima standards

Submitted by ghola at 2008-06-02 21:35:20 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

i'd hit it.

Submitted by Linus at 2008-06-02 21:33:56 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

I wish this worked more than once.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-06-02 21:30:43 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

I agree about the "Rolling Stone" comment but I think the late Mrs. Shlongy got the subscription for free for spending $8000 on the Dave Matthews Band website.

Submitted by PepsiCoke at 2008-06-02 21:29:37 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Rolling Stone is a shitty mag and has been for a long time.

Submitted by darko at 2008-06-02 21:29:20 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

entirely too much effort, I'd rather take the 20 seconds to log out, log in as that, drop a plus two, then log back in here since very few posts are worth it.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-06-02 21:26:44 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Can't you just change THAT account to Darko II or would that defeat the purpose?

Submitted by darko at 2008-06-02 21:24:34 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

The only person who couldn't give you a +2 from their real name.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-06-02 21:23:36 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

I don't mind "alter +2's".

It's what the country - and Uber- and certainly my stellar ratings, were founded on.

The big mystery is WHO ARE YOU AN ALTER OF???

Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-06-02 21:21:44 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Linus...I don't "suck dick".

Shlongy gets his dick sucked.

You'd know that if you could read.

Maybe your mom will read this post to you when she gets off from her shift at 7-11.

Submitted by blueboy at 2008-06-02 21:21:15 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

worthy of me using an alter +2

Submitted by experima at 2008-06-02 21:20:46 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

you catch on pretty quick, don't you?

only 3 reviews in and you figured out i was teasing you

you happy little elf, you

Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-06-02 21:20:08 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

See...Darko knows a good post when he reads one.

TOO BAD THAT FUCKER HAS NO RATINGS...goddman bart.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-06-02 21:19:33 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

The "-3" line is SHLONGY's.

I invented that one back in '04.

Submitted by darko at 2008-06-02 21:19:24 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Good post

Submitted by Linus at 2008-06-02 21:19:10 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

What the fuck are you going on about old man?

Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-06-02 21:18:51 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

I'll take a look on my work email and see if I still have it.

If you don't hear from me tomorrow am, email ME and I'll email...fuck, you know how it works.

Submitted by experima at 2008-06-02 21:18:49 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

i'm sure it's hilarious.

just be glad i kind of like you, or else this would be a -3.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-06-02 21:17:58 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Linus obviously did NOT read the invitation.


Submitted by MANICMOTHER at 2008-06-02 21:17:39 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I'm doing well, honey, but I'm going to continue to keep a low profile for a bit longer.
Drop me a line, if you still have the address, and I'll tell you about it.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-06-02 21:17:10 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Not you, Linus.

You're just a virgin nose picker.

One email to bart and "zap", your ratings are history, Huey.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-06-02 21:16:21 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

This post was funny...You must be having your period. Ew.

Submitted by Linus at 2008-06-02 21:16:20 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

You suck dick.

Submitted by experima at 2008-06-02 21:13:38 EDT (#)
Rating: -2


Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-06-02 18:10:42 PDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-06-02 20:56:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

i don't see my name in here


I haven't seen you on my lap lately, either.

Hell, I answered your query in that other shitty post today...that should be worth something.

Feel free to camp on this post for 6 hours like you do with your own posts, babycakes. I could use the hits and the -2's.

------------

i learned from the best, baby

Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-06-02 21:13:17 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-06-02 21:08:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-06-02 19:51:53 CDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Can someone puhLEASE tell me what ":D" means?

Does thie mean I'm getting some MORE action?

====

It means a big smile, bigger than a simple :)


I never knew that was a "smile".

I always thought it meant some chick was showing me her ass. SERIOUSLY.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-06-02 21:12:08 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

MANICMOMMMY!

I've missed you. What's happening, Sweetums?

Long time, no flirt.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-06-02 21:11:19 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2008-06-02 21:03:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

FUCK YOU SHE'S MY WIFE

Also, I'm 'not gettin' some.'


I guess I get to have yet ANOTHER three-way. Yay for Shlongy.

Submitted by MANICMOTHER at 2008-06-02 21:11:11 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by Charlton_H at 2008-06-02 21:10:54 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Thou shalt not lie with a man as you lie with a woman, nor shalt thou lie with a woman of boy-like features, it is abomination before the Lord

Leviticus 18:22

Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-06-02 21:10:42 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-06-02 20:56:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

i don't see my name in here


I haven't seen you on my lap lately, either.

Hell, I answered your query in that other shitty post today...that should be worth something.

Feel free to camp on this post for 6 hours like you do with your own posts, babycakes. I could use the hits and the -2's.

Submitted by forensicgirl3 at 2008-06-02 21:08:02 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-06-02 19:51:53 CDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Can someone puhLEASE tell me what ":D" means?

Does thie mean I'm getting some MORE action?

====

It means a big smile, bigger than a simple :)

Submitted by Sacrilicious at 2008-06-02 21:03:25 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

FUCK YOU SHE'S MY WIFE

Also, I'm 'not gettin' some.'

Submitted by experima at 2008-06-02 20:56:02 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

i don't see my name in here

Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-06-02 20:51:53 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Can someone puhLEASE tell me what ":D" means?

Does thie mean I'm getting some MORE action?

Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-06-02 20:47:50 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

River Street, Savannah...they give everyone plastic cups because you can leave with your drinks- no open container laws on River Street.

One of three streets in the country, I believe.

Submitted by apollo88 at 2008-06-02 20:46:48 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

oh well shlongy you had it coming.

these uber gangstas get everyone eventually.



Submitted by apollo88 at 2008-06-02 20:43:41 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

hhahHAHA

most amusing

why the plastic cups?



Submitted by forensicgirl3 at 2008-06-02 20:42:39 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

:D

Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-06-02 20:40:43 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

I left out an "o" in coroner...THE POST IS RUINED.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-06-02 20:38:31 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

And, we're off.

I hope I don't come across as too depressed and "mopey" here.


Homer: I'm sorry, Marge, but sometimes I think we're the worst family in
town.

Marge: Maybe we should move to a larger community.

There's No Disgrace Like Home