The BOSH Man! IS HIRES AN OLD FRIEND TO WORK FOR HIM, BUT FIRES HIM THE NEXT DAY FOR BEING AN ASSHOLE!!Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH at 2008-06-19 13:14:04 EDT
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The Kid Who Knows Everything and I are finding our treasure map-making business pretty successful. So much so, in fact, that we needed to hire someone else to help out so I could have a little more free time to drink beer and set scruggs' lawn on fire. Our first applicant walked through the door.
"Listen up faggot we're not gonna pay you a lot of money. Basically we draw treasure maps that lead to scruggs' house and then hand them out to hot babes with promises of treasure.. they take some of scruggs' belongings then we throw a party and pork as many of them as we can."
The applicant was nodding in agreement the whole time, there might be a future for him in this company afterall.
"One for the Greenthumb in '91? Hello, I'm Doctor Greenthumb, dig it?"
"Holy shit! How you been Dr.?"
Dr. Greenthumb and I were at one time great friends, but had lost touch after i mistook his wife for a scruggs fan and crashed a helicopter into their house.
"Not bad Boshman, so do I have the job?"
"Well just so we have it on file I need to ask you a couple questions. Firstly, tell me a little about yourself"
Dr. Greenthumb sat back in his chair and was trying to collect his thoughts. I lit up a cigarette.
After a few moments he began:
"I aspire to bring glory to the United States ping pong federation, I am allergic to cats but am not oppossed to their existence, someday I will wake up and I will be able to speak Japanese, I cannot fly, I can climb trees but Im a little shaky with a bow and arrow, squirrels attempt to sabotage my car on a daily basis, I am dreaming right now."
"Thats pretty bosh, what do you do i your spare time?"
"rad, ok one final question. Do you have any references from former employers?"
"well I currently work at a non-profit company called 'No Balls', which enforces strict federal and state regulations on circus acts that abuse seals"
"Hmm.. well would you be opposed to working for an organization that has the complete opposite stance on that subject matter?"
"No, fuck seals they are stupid anyways."
"Righteous. Well I declare you emplyoed. Oh yea, We don't use the 'backspace' or 'delete' keys while we're working, so you're just gonna have to deal with any typographical errors, if you don't like that you can suck a llama's dick. Lets get some beer and funnel it into our dickholes"
So we went to funnel some beer into our dickholes for a little while. Nick Cage came by on his ghost motorcyle and we dared him to do donuts in scruggs' lawn until he cried. He did. It was probably the greatest day of my life.