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My new favorite Über-broad

Submitted by monkeyswithguns at 2008-07-01 16:52:06 EDT
Rating: 0.95 on 19 ratings (19 reviews) (Review this item) (V)

So of course very few of you recall me starting this:
http://www.ubersite.com/m/115024
and even fewer care.

For those of you too lazy to click the link above, the gist of it was that I put out a postal address with the simple hope that I'd receive something other than junk-mail and my lifetime subscription to "Midget Mama Madness!!!®". I waited, and begged and pleaded, and eventually, I got something, which I described here: http://www.ubersite.com/m/115386

Then, after continent jumping, more begging and pleading, I got something else:
http://www.ubersite.com/m/116100

It took so long, and it seemed like I got so few responses, I resorted to mass mailing people on my super-special uber email address with this message, or a variation thereof:

From:"Monkeyswithguns"<shanek07.at.gmail.com>

Subject line: You should send me something. It would be awesome.

Anything really. I'm starting to get desperate, which I'm sure you don't hear often.

Really though, anything would be cool. A hair doll of someone you're stalking, or a picture of the buddha smoking a fat buddha.


Thank you for your time.
Monkeyswithguns

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Short, sweet, and to the point. I guess it worked somewhat, because I've received two more since then.

I got a picture of a ship, plus a story printed off of Uber from Shadow, but she didn't leave a return address, so she gets nothing back but a thank you, which I'm giving here: "thank you."

Today, however, I got the most awesome package yet! It contained:

a)a multitude of incense sticks of various smells.
b)several novelty mints, such as Garlic Vampire Repellant Mints®, Simpsons Duff mints® and some "Miso Pretty Gum" with a picture of a asian hooker. I assume she's a hooker, I could be wrong though, she is a cartoon character after all.
c)a nice skull statuary, HIGHLY reminiscent of the one which I left for a certain Uber-broad, along with a story, at the beginning of my other game "Treasure Hunt" (http://www.ubersite.com/m/112641#2563314)

d) and finally, last but not least by a long shot, a bottle of vodka. Not just a pint of cheap ol Gordon's either, but Smirnoff, which is pretty expensive I think. I'm not sure because I usually drink Gordon's because it's cheap.

This is by far one of the most awesome presents I've received. Of course it would be awesome if someone topped this, so if you wanna try, just send it to the address contained in the first link. It's still working, and I'll keep it open.

Big thanks to the sender, who happened to be the only other participant in my treasure hunt contest. As seen here: http://www.ubersite.com/m/113038

I hope to hear from more of you. The end.

PS. I sent Bart a package also. I wonder if he received it. I promise there was no DNA on it of any kind, visible or otherwise.







Amontillado THANK YOU YOU LOVLY PIECE OF AWESOMENESS.JPG
Amontillado THANK YOU YOU LOVLY PIECE OF AWESOMENESS.JPG


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Submitted by Ltap at 2008-07-03 08:41:33 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Who is that chick?

She looks kind of hot, but with the 40s-style black-and-white photo, I could be wrong. Plus the shirt that doesn't even show anything.

Submitted by Amontillado at 2008-07-02 17:17:19 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I miss the days when Uber wasn't full of trolls.

Submitted by iambetteratit at 2008-07-02 16:00:57 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

This is a pre-emtive fuck yourself for the douchebag who says chis columbus used bio-terrorism against the injuns.

Submitted by iambetteratit at 2008-07-02 15:58:16 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by myshit (user info) at 2008-07-02 08:54:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

Submitted by iambetteratit (user info) at 2008-07-02 02:17:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

I wonder if I would get in much trouble or get an interesting response if I sent an envelope containing nothing but loose talcum powder.... couldnt leave a return address or touch the envelope with my hands though.
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Fucking idiot.

Talc is nothing like coke.
----------------------

Wow dosn't suprise me.. cokeheads can rarely shut the fuck up.

Hey smart guy, remember a few days after 9/11 happened and people were getting envelopes filled with anthrax powder sent to them? You know, that whole first incident of bio-terrorism on American soil thing? That was the white powder I was going to simulate with the talc... sooo thanks for being an uppity cokehead and enjoy not eating or sleeping tonight.

Submitted by myshit at 2008-07-02 08:54:09 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

Submitted by iambetteratit (user info) at 2008-07-02 02:17:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

I wonder if I would get in much trouble or get an interesting response if I sent an envelope containing nothing but loose talcum powder.... couldnt leave a return address or touch the envelope with my hands though.
----------------------

Fucking idiot.

Talc is nothing like coke.

Submitted by monkeyswithguns at 2008-07-02 08:27:41 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

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Submitted by iambetteratit (user info) at 2008-07-02 02:17:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

I wonder if I would get in much trouble or get an interesting response if I sent an envelope containing nothing but loose talcum powder.... couldnt leave a return address or touch the envelope with my hands though.

**********************************************************************
It would probably go through. You'd be surprised at what slips through these days.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2008-07-01 22:18:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

I thought I sent you Absolut!?
*************************************************
Again, my bad, you did indeed, and Absolut is definately better than bastard, commie Smirnoff.

Submitted by iambetteratit at 2008-07-02 02:17:10 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I wonder if I would get in much trouble or get an interesting response if I sent an envelope containing nothing but loose talcum powder.... couldnt leave a return address or touch the envelope with my hands though.

Submitted by Amontillado at 2008-07-01 22:18:28 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I thought I sent you Absolut!?

Submitted by monkeyswithguns at 2008-07-01 18:36:24 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-07-01 16:53:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

gordon's is gin you idiot.
------------------------------------------
Ahh, but here in America, Gordon's also makes a vodka. Very cheap vodka.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2008-07-01 17:09:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

you're a sad sad person.
------------------------------
I'll forgive you, because you're preggo and not in control of your emotions.

--------------------------------------------------------

Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2008-07-01 17:23:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

I left you a return address, from the ship I pirated!

and that story can't be found on Uber, that was special for you. Ingrate.
------------------------------------------------------
OH, my bad, thanks especially then.

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Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-07-01 17:57:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

http://www.ubersite.com/m/117104#2724813
kindly explain this comment.
---------------------------------------------

What? I wished you a happy birthday! What more do you want from me?


Submitted by scourge at 2008-07-01 17:57:13 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

http://www.ubersite.com/m/117104#2724813

kindly explain this comment.

Submitted by Doodles at 2008-07-01 17:28:57 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I might send you a severed penis.

All you need to do is say the word.

Submitted by myshit at 2008-07-01 17:27:14 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I'm contemplating sending you something.

Possibly Marmite. Yanks don't understand Marmite.

Submitted by shadow at 2008-07-01 17:23:41 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I left you a return address, from the ship I pirated!

and that story can't be found on Uber, that was special for you. Ingrate.

Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe at 2008-07-01 17:09:05 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

you're a sad sad person.

Submitted by Doodles at 2008-07-01 17:03:34 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

By that I mean this doesn't count.

Submitted by Doodles at 2008-07-01 17:03:13 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Today is top dog tuesday.

Submitted by orphelia at 2008-07-01 16:58:45 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

You didn't mention the anthrax I sent you, ungrateful twit.

Submitted by apollo88 at 2008-07-01 16:53:50 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

gordon's is gin you idiot.



Submitted by monkeyswithguns at 2008-07-01 16:53:29 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Yeah, yeah, yeah, shit posts on thursday "Noob."

But am I still a Noob? Yesterday was my first uberversary!?!?


When it comes to compliments, women are ravenous, bloodsucking
monsters, always wanting more, more, more! And if you give it to 'em,
you'll get back plenty in return.

-- Homer Simpson
Lisa the Beauty Queen