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On Moving and Friendship

Submitted by Ducky at 2008-08-04 20:35:28 EDT
Rating: 1.44 on 60 ratings (60 reviews) (Review this item) (V)

I’m moving in 17 days. I’m not relocating an hour or two from my hometown and visiting on weekends. I’m moving 5,116.5 miles, 8,234.2 km, or 4,446.1 nautical miles (depending on what suits you best), away from my comfort zone – by myself, to the second largest metropolis in the world. This is a city with 10.31 million more people than the comfortable population of my dinky little city, which while growing is still sitting around 90,000. I don’t know anybody there, and I don’t speak the language.

It’s either going to be awesome, or I’m going to get lost on my first day – freak out, and cry in an alley while watching some drunk guy take a dump between two parked cars. I’ve heard that happens.

Frequently.

Either way I’m sure I’m going to look like I’ve just fallen off of the turnip truck.

I’m also concerned about finding clothing and shoes there. I’ve been told that in this place, I will be viewed as a freakishly tall, big-footed fatty. I mean, I’m tall and big footed here – and I’m cool with adding fat to the mix, but I’d really like to know that I’ll be able to clothe myself while over there. Murphy’s law states that everything I own will rip into shreds their first time through the wash (I’ve heard that washing machines are really hard on clothing over there) and I will probably end up wearing a burlap potato sack with some roping round the waist for the rest of my term.

I wonder if that will make dress code.

My closest friend and confidant for the last – my god…21 years, has promised to mail me care packages. This is a girl who almost gouged my eye out when we were 7 at a blindfolded ice-cream eating contest. When we were 9 and she was moving, she convinced me that it was logical to pack the cat into a cardboard box weeks before they actually left – I still have a scar from that. She tried to steal a handful of 25 cent bouncy balls from me when we were 11 by stuffing them in her mouth.

“What’s that in your mouth?”

“Nughfffin”

“SPIT THEM OUT YOU STUPID LIAR!!!” My insults were roxxor back then.

*spits….cries….leaves*

*shakes head and wipes mouth goo off balls*

***Authors note - I tried really hard to make that sound non-sexual but couldn't. Whatever.

When I was 19 and house-sitting she showed up bawling at 4am because her cat, trooper that it had been, had died and we spent hours sitting at a truck stop café while she told me stories about it. Something similar happened 2 years later when, trying to drive like Paul Tracey, she rolled her car.
This past weekend, she managed to drag me to yet another renaissance fair, despite being tired from a worthless 8 hour drive the day before.

I figure she owes me. She’ll probably send me a box of ramen noodles just to be a complete and total cow.


Friends.jpg
Friends.jpg


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Reviews


Submitted by RoadSong at 2009-03-23 12:40:46 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

"Either way I'm sure I'm going to look like I've just fallen off of the turnip truck."

Hahaa...I thought I was the only one here who fell off that turnip truck!
Great story and photo.

Submitted by EmissionImpossible at 2009-01-30 10:04:15 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2008-08-12 23:19:34 BST (#)
Ranking: 2

You made me laugh. New Zealand didn't have any rodents at all until man arrived, but chipmunks and squirrels definitely turn my head too, in a way that rats don't.
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id imagine they only had birds before man arrived. mad birds who think they ruled the island, i imagine they were quite shocked when humans arrived.

Submitted by Fey at 2008-08-12 18:19:34 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

You made me laugh. New Zealand didn't have any rodents at all until man arrived, but chipmunks and squirrels definitely turn my head too, in a way that rats don't.

I'm half Swedish, half kiwi, living in Sweden. Windscreen... well... it acts as a screen between you and the wind, yes? What else would it be called?

Submitted by Director at 2008-08-06 00:07:00 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

This dashes all my hopes the two of us switching gender, me having your babies, and the 4.3 of us living in a nice ranch house out in the country with a white picket fence and a dog.

<shoots self>

Submitted by Ducky at 2008-08-05 23:18:38 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by SilentRenegade (user info) at 2008-08-05 19:17:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

HAHAHAHA if you ever make it out to Seongnam near the Seuso Subway Station hit me up... ill show you around.
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Cool, thanks.

Submitted by SilentRenegade at 2008-08-05 19:17:03 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

HAHAHAHA if you ever make it out to Seongnam near the Seuso Subway Station hit me up... ill show you around.

Submitted by munkeypants at 2008-08-05 17:51:18 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

enjoy!

Submitted by bob at 2008-08-05 17:09:29 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Send some cheap korean whores my way plzy.

And some cheap electronics.

Preferably the electronics.

Submitted by orphelia at 2008-08-05 12:31:59 EDT (#)
Rating: 2


'Hmmm, I am famished, what's for supper tonight, darling?'

'Mongrel, stuffed with lemon grass and apricots'.

'Not again, we had mongrel last night'.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/chenyu768/132527430/

Submitted by orphelia at 2008-08-05 12:24:59 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

It doesn't really tickle my fancym most of the dogs that are eaten seem skinny, scabby things.
Maybe if it were a pudgy, purebreed, a Crufts winner, I'd have a nibble.

The good news is, where ever you go, you can take Uber! Rejoice!
:)

Submitted by Ducky at 2008-08-05 12:20:43 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Why? Have you had it? Is it good?

Submitted by Ducky at 2008-08-05 12:19:01 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

hahaha...and no, I will not eat dog. I've thought on it, and I don't think I could. I love dogs.

Submitted by orphelia at 2008-08-05 12:12:45 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

http://www.flickr.com/photos/brapps/311524018/

I tried so hard to find a proper dyke wearing them, but they are obviously so last season in Lesbian fashion.

Will you eat dog?

Submitted by SunnyG at 2008-08-05 12:03:18 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

You'll be fine, the first couple of weeks are weird and awkward. You'll miss home, but then you get used to it and you'll make a new home. Good luck.

Submitted by Ducky at 2008-08-05 11:57:45 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Thank you Crystle!
_________________

And I don't know what a dungaree is :( See Orphelia, as my honorary canadian friend you are supposed to explain this shit.

Submitted by orphelia at 2008-08-05 11:54:30 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

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Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2008-08-05 16:52:43 BST (#)
Ranking: 0

Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-08-05 11:51:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Congrats on having a dyke friend.
________________________________

Lol - she's not a dyke...I'm sure her fiance would have something to say about that.
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Probably 'where are my dungarees, bitch'.

Submitted by Crystle at 2008-08-05 11:54:29 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

nothing wrong with being pale, and sewing can actually be enjoyable once you conquer your fear of it.


Good luck Ducky - enjoy! sounds like an awsome experiance awaits you :-)


Plus kindergarten teachers are cool. Except that my daughter's wasn't - so be a COOL teacher!!!

Submitted by Ducky at 2008-08-05 11:52:43 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-08-05 11:51:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Congrats on having a dyke friend.
________________________________

Lol - she's not a dyke...I'm sure her fiance would have something to say about that.

Submitted by orphelia at 2008-08-05 11:51:17 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Congrats on having a dyke friend.

Submitted by shadow at 2008-08-05 11:48:06 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Courage! It will be worth it, whatever the outcome. You can't BUY life experience like that.








Ok, maybe apollo can.


Perhaps Shlongy.



You know what I mean.

Submitted by inion_de_trua at 2008-08-05 11:13:03 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

start slow. just literally take two scraps of fabric and try and sew them in a straight line with even sized/spaced stitches. you can make a ball gown in 12 hours of hand sewing or 6 with machine. i'd even recommend getting a sewing machine. you can pick up one for $60 that would suit your needs.

it's not that being pale is "my thing" it's that being pale is the only choice my skin has.

Submitted by Ducky at 2008-08-05 11:10:03 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2008-08-05 11:03:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

WHAT'S WRONG WITH BEING PALE?!!!!?!?!?
_________________________________________

Absolutely nothing inion. Nothing at all - and thanks for the tips with the sewing (I am a horrific with that though - even with a machine I'm crap - I may end up having to learn though).

Submitted by BobSandwich at 2008-08-05 11:06:46 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Nothing, if that is your thing and it makes you happy... I don't see many pale people around here, the only ones are the goth type that wear the fake vampire teeth and dress like they are in the Matrix.

Submitted by Ducky at 2008-08-05 11:04:15 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-08-05 08:01:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Why are you moving, Ducks? Job? School?
__________________________________________

I got a job teaching kindergarten in an immersion type setting at a Canadian school over there.

Submitted by inion_de_trua at 2008-08-05 11:03:58 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

WHAT'S WRONG WITH BEING PALE?!!!!?!?!?

Submitted by BobSandwich at 2008-08-05 10:58:33 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2008-08-05 10:56:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Submitted by BobSandwich (user info) at 2008-08-05 10:39:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Both chicks look like they have solar urticaria or some similar disease.
___________________________

I don't see any hives or skin discolouration in this picture :(
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No hives or skin discolour, looks like you avoid sun being so pale. Where do you live?

Submitted by inion_de_trua at 2008-08-05 10:57:25 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

fun! and to help solve the clothing problem - buy a couple patterns of simple things to bring with you, a sewing book and make your own. packet of needles and thread are probably available in every country. takes about an hour to handsew one t shirt type thing. and you can use snaps instead of buttons and just put buttons on top if you need like works shirts. the sewing book should have chapters on alterations.

also you can copy from clothes you already own and alter things in used clothing shops. it's actually cheaper making your own shit anyway.

Submitted by BobSandwich at 2008-08-05 10:56:29 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2008-08-05 10:48:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

both girls look like they have shared the love that dare not speak its name...
=================================

The body language is a dead giveaway.

Submitted by Ducky at 2008-08-05 10:56:11 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by BobSandwich (user info) at 2008-08-05 10:39:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Both chicks look like they have solar urticaria or some similar disease.
___________________________

I don't see any hives or skin discolouration in this picture :(

Submitted by SgtHartman at 2008-08-05 10:48:45 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

both girls look like they have shared the love that dare not speak its name...

Submitted by BobSandwich at 2008-08-05 10:39:33 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Both chicks look like they have solar urticaria or some similar disease.

Submitted by icarus1987 at 2008-08-05 10:35:53 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Don't move to metropolii. Monster movies always seem to strike them first.

Submitted by scourge at 2008-08-05 10:27:49 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

*spits....cries....leaves*

*shakes head and wipes mouth goo off balls*


hahahahahaha


good luck, ducky.

Submitted by GangsterSquid at 2008-08-05 10:02:29 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

That chick on the left has a forehead the size of a small child.



Disturbing.

Submitted by Gay at 2008-08-05 09:17:45 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Cool!

Submitted by SgtHartman at 2008-08-05 08:55:15 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

hello deah green eyes...

Submitted by monkeyswithguns at 2008-08-05 08:53:52 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by Darth_Famine at 2008-08-05 08:52:56 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Have fun in Brazil, don't get kidnapped

Submitted by forensicgirl3 at 2008-08-05 08:01:32 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Why are you moving, Ducks? Job? School?


Submitted by zoobie2000 at 2008-08-05 06:40:15 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

needs more rape

Submitted by skrapmetal at 2008-08-05 05:18:51 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

The two ways you can really expand your mind are through education and travel. Go to it, and good luck.

Submitted by Fey at 2008-08-05 05:16:53 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

You'll do swimmingly.

Submitted by Berty at 2008-08-05 04:15:23 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Congratulations on your journey! I hope you have lots of amazing sex with tiny, muscular and energetic young men!

Also learning, fame, fortune etc...

Submitted by EmissionImpossible at 2008-08-05 03:14:01 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I guess you are 22

Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge at 2008-08-04 23:04:28 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

The glory hole bars there are wasted on you. Check out Osan while you're there.

Submitted by simple_catalyst at 2008-08-04 22:37:15 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

for making me look at that monstrosity at the bottom of teh post.

Submitted by SPECIALk at 2008-08-04 22:26:34 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

i have a friend in the army in south korea..just ask for Sang when you get there..he'll hook you up.
seriously,though, good luck, i hope it works out for you. i'm planning on going to Japan next year to teach english. i can't wait

Submitted by Ducky at 2008-08-04 22:22:20 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Everything you ever wanted to know about metalbeast7
User id: 33748
Registered on or around: 2008-06-16 18:06:14 EDT
# Messages posted: 0
# Reviews written: 1
# Times these posts have been reviewed: 0
# Hits: 0
Average rating of all messages: 0
____________________

Wooo first review :)


Submitted by metalbeast7 at 2008-08-04 21:55:10 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Life. Takes us to adventures.

Submitted by Hookhand at 2008-08-04 21:37:24 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

*shakes head and wipes mouth goo off balls*

+2 for that line alone

Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-08-04 21:01:18 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I admire the nads that you have to make this move.

Do you mind telling Shlongy WHY you are moving?

Also, which one is Ducky?

Submitted by Ducky at 2008-08-04 20:58:24 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by MichaelJackson (user info) at 2008-08-04 20:56:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

OML, I will have to mail you care packages of Kraft Dinner and Poutine and other awesome Canadian dishes.
________________

You'd better dude.

Submitted by Doodles at 2008-08-04 20:58:01 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

boy toucher below.

Submitted by MichaelJackson at 2008-08-04 20:56:54 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

OML, I will have to mail you care packages of Kraft Dinner and Poutine and other awesome Canadian dishes.

Submitted by Ducky at 2008-08-04 20:56:32 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

*scrolls*

What a dickhead I am. Seoul.

Submitted by Bubba2341 at 2008-08-04 20:54:04 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

We're supposed to guess WHERE? Just fucking say it.

Submitted by Sacrilicious at 2008-08-04 20:50:52 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

You're a rock star.

Submitted by experima at 2008-08-04 20:50:49 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

i like ducky

Submitted by Doodles at 2008-08-04 20:41:26 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

There is something off-putting about the red head.

I can't decide what it is though.

Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe at 2008-08-04 20:40:26 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I feel I should know what the second largest metropolis in the world is but I don't. Japan?


Dasher, Dancer ... Prancer ... Nixon, Comet, Cupid ... Donna Dixon.

-- Homer Simpson
Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire