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100 things I like.

Submitted by monkeyswithguns at 2008-11-21 16:18:25 EST
Rating: 1.87 on 27 ratings (27 reviews) (Review this item) (V)

List of things that I like:
1)Myself
2)The internet
3)Breathing
4)Water
5)Oxygen (the gas, not the network.)
6)Food
7)Eating Food
8)Sex
9)Masturbation
10)Porn
11)Masturbating to Porn
12)Showering after masturbation
13)Psychoactive Chemicals
14)Beauty
15)Trees
16)Birds
17)Soft Couches
18)Soft Beds
19)Fire
20)Guns
21)Dogs
22)Cats
23)Video Games
24)Movies
25)Toying with ignorant people
27)Abortions (giving)
28)The Simpsons
29)It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
30)Television
31)Isaac Asimov
32)Bad Brains
33)Flowers
34)Monkeys
35)The possibility of a future where advancements in medical science would result in my getting a fully functional, prehensile tail which could support my weight.
36)Money
37)Books
38)Aldous Huxley
39)Socrates
40)The fact that sometimes knock-off brands get the taste just right or better than their name brand counterparts.
41)Laughing
42)The answer.
43)Vacations
44)Easily remembered phone numbers.
45)Paychecks
46)Health Insurance
47)Not living in Africa
48)History
49)Songs that remind me of people I've cherished.
50)Halfway markers.
51)Physics
52)Gravity
53)High Gravity Lager (malt liquor)
54)Evolution
55)De-evolution
56)Real friends
57)Toying with fake friends.
58)Toying with strangers, making them believe I'll be their friend, then never talking to them again.
59)The Rolling Stones and The Beatles
60)Pink Floyd too.
61)Medieval 2: Total War
62)Pancakes
63)Bacon!
64)Moments when you realize that you really don't know anything at all, and that it's alright.
65)My niece and nephew.
66)Writing when the mood strikes me.
67)Throwing paper wrapped dog poop at asshole's houses, and watching it as it hits the door with a wet smacking sound, then slides down leaving a brown streak. (Must have correct consistency, feed your dogs CANNED food first.)
68)Smiling at immature, or juvenile jokes.
69)the number sixty nine, and occasionally the sex act as well.
70)Not being somebody else.
71)Being surrounded by people who are so completely mental that I get to feel sane.
72)Owning my own home.
73)Freedom, or at least a good measure of it, as complete freedom is scary.
74)Moderation in everything, including moderation.
75)Three Quarters of the way markers.
76)The invention of the concept of "zero."
77)Healthy skepticism.
78)Modern Medicine.
79)The joke "Why was 8 afraid of 7? Because Seven ate Nine"
80)Play doh, or one of it's many knockoffs.
81)Success in anything except failure.
82)Passing tests that aren't for STD's.
83)Passing Gas.
84)Quaint euphamisms.
85)not having to capitalize my spelling if i don't choose to.
86)Big words flying over small heads.
87)Little insults flying over big heads.
88)Words
89)The fact that the English language is THE de-facto world language of our time.
90)Not being born in a Spanish speaking nation.
91)Living in a country where I don't have to agree with you, and you don't have to agree with me, but we can't legally kill each other over it.......yet.
92)Not living in Africa (repeated because it bears repeating.)
93)Leather
94)Lesbians
95)The movie Ravenous.
96)Psychology
97)Philosophy
98)The fact that great apes are intelligent enough that there is a slim possibility that at some point in my life I might actually have the opportunity to communicate ideas and desires with one through sign language, once I learn it.
99)Telling lies about minor details.

Number 100- I'm so awesome I'm awe-struck..jpg
Number 100- I'm so awesome I'm awe-struck..jpg


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Reviews


Submitted by ColchesterDr at 2009-04-10 02:39:32 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by Yozz at 2008-11-24 15:16:56 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-11-21 22:06:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0

Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-11-21 16:53:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

Will you marry me?
------------------------------
I'm already married, but what can you promise to bring into this relationship? If it's free tickets to Busch Gardens for life, then we may be able to work something out.

Also, what does your woman look like, because I assume she'll be coming along to, and I have some high standards.
----------------------------------------
Busch Gardens tix and a gun rack for an F-150 if I can bring my kids.

Submitted by Tokerson at 2008-11-24 06:54:36 EST (#)
Rating: 2


Submitted by Replen at 2008-11-22 10:20:26 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by Socialist_Joe at 2008-11-21 23:02:14 EST (#)
Rating: 1

Submitted by Doodles at 2008-11-21 22:19:05 EST (#)
Rating: 2

faggoty brutes anger me, you see.

Submitted by Doodles at 2008-11-21 22:18:51 EST (#)
Rating: 2

whoopsie

Submitted by Doodles at 2008-11-21 22:18:38 EST (#)
Rating: -2

I'm curious to see what a monkey would do with guns.

I would train a monkey to use dual plasma rifles in their hands.

Throw sticky grenades with their feet.

And alternate between an energy sword and a gravity hammer with their tail.

Plus a rocket launcher harness to the monkey's should with a pressure trigger activated by biting.

I'd reckon a monkey would be pretty unkillable in halo.

Not like those fucking brute fake monkeys.

Bitches.

Submitted by monkeyswithguns at 2008-11-21 22:06:54 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-11-21 16:53:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

Will you marry me?
------------------------------
I'm already married, but what can you promise to bring into this relationship? If it's free tickets to Busch Gardens for life, then we may be able to work something out.

Also, what does your woman look like, because I assume she'll be coming along to, and I have some high standards.

Submitted by Otter at 2008-11-21 22:02:28 EST (#)
Rating: 2

That F-4 had better pull up so it doesn't crash into the TV

Submitted by monkeyswithguns at 2008-11-21 21:59:44 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-11-21 19:36:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

I was genuinely surprised mind altering substances weren't on this list. I guess that would have been potentially kind of lame. Either way it just seems dishonest.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------

You are mistaken friend, see #13.

Submitted by hidden101 at 2008-11-21 21:13:06 EST (#)
Rating: 2

god i miss stonewashed jeans....


this list is motherfucking AWESOME.

Submitted by Doodles at 2008-11-21 20:37:15 EST (#)
Rating: 2

It means i didn't make it on your list, you dense monkey.

control +f = find text

Submitted by Crystle at 2008-11-21 19:46:36 EST (#)
Rating: 2

86)Big words flying over small heads.
87)Little insults flying over big heads.

and sigh, another list I didn't make it onto....

Submitted by haikumikoo at 2008-11-21 19:36:49 EST (#)
Rating: 2

I was genuinely surprised mind altering substances weren't on this list. I guess that would have been potentially kind of lame. Either way it just seems dishonest.

Submitted by experima at 2008-11-21 18:55:08 EST (#)
Rating: 2

A.) Rob!

Submitted by rob_berg at 2008-11-21 18:36:23 EST (#)
Rating: 2



2. M!


Submitted by experima at 2008-11-21 18:28:41 EST (#)
Rating: 2

+2 for #56 :)

Submitted by monkeyswithguns at 2008-11-21 17:48:27 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-11-21 17:14:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

control + f "doodles"

...


Fine, I don't like you either.

Asshole
-------------------------------------------------------
What's all that about?

Also,
#101:Rock Lobster by the B-52's
#102:Heart of Glass by Blondie

Submitted by experima at 2008-11-21 17:15:12 EST (#)
Rating: 2

(i counted the picture as #100 because it is so very rad)

Submitted by rob_berg at 2008-11-21 17:15:10 EST (#)
Rating: 2


1. You

Submitted by Doodles at 2008-11-21 17:14:40 EST (#)
Rating: 2

control + f "doodles"

...


Fine, I don't like you either.

Asshole

Submitted by experima at 2008-11-21 17:14:07 EST (#)
Rating: 2

101.) you

Submitted by Yozz at 2008-11-21 16:53:06 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Will you marry me?

Submitted by sandmantate at 2008-11-21 16:43:59 EST (#)
Rating: 2

to much for me to read

Submitted by Biteme at 2008-11-21 16:42:58 EST (#)
Rating: 1

59)The Rolling Stones and The Beatles
60)Pink Floyd too.
-------------

You're only missing The Who for a full house.

Submitted by AJ at 2008-11-21 16:21:51 EST (#)
Rating: 2

For #99


Homer: I keep hearing this horrible irregular thumping noise.

Pump Jockey:
It's your heart. And I think it's on its last thump.

Homer: Whew, I was afraid it was my transmission.

Homer's Triple Bypass