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What are the Pet Monkey Laws in YOUR State???

Submitted by beeltea at 2008-12-04 16:51:49 EST
Rating: 1.47 on 51 ratings (51 reviews) (Review this item) (V)



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Submitted by beeltea at 2009-10-19 01:45:21 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by jcscorpio73 (user info) at 2009-01-10 15:27:25 EST (#)
Ranking: -2


Reads like a 13 year old? Bunch of fucking retards writing about fucking monkey laws. What's with the lazy scum comments, what are you guys all high on meth or something? You wouldn't know good writing if an illegal monkey shat it in your face...
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FINALLY SOMEBODY WHO GETS ME!!!!!

Submitted by PlatinumScarecrow at 2009-08-24 20:48:16 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Submitted by jcscorpio73 (user info) at 2009-01-10 14:27:25 CST (#)
Ranking: -2


Reads like a 13 year old? Bunch of fucking retards writing about fucking monkey laws. What's with the lazy scum comments, what are you guys all high on meth or something? You wouldn't know good writing if an illegal monkey shat it in your face...

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I was thinking the same thing with a little less ghey.

Submitted by scourge at 2009-08-24 17:34:23 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

SO I CAN'T CARRY A GUN, BUT I CAN CARRY A FUCKING MONKEY?

FUCK YOU, STATE.

PREPARE TO BE SPLATTERED WITH POO.

Submitted by munkeypants at 2009-02-27 11:23:58 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Monkeys always get a +2.

Always.

Submitted by bob at 2009-01-10 16:31:24 EST (#)
Rating: 2


Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2008-12-09 12:54:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2008-12-05 06:54:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-12-04 17:15:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

When monkeys are outlawed, only outlaws will have monkeys.

Submitted by jcscorpio73 at 2009-01-10 15:27:25 EST (#)
Rating: -2


Reads like a 13 year old? Bunch of fucking retards writing about fucking monkey laws. What's with the lazy scum comments, what are you guys all high on meth or something? You wouldn't know good writing if an illegal monkey shat it in your face...

Submitted by kaos-king at 2009-01-10 05:55:16 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by Sacrilicious at 2008-12-26 01:52:56 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Where the hell was I during this monkeyness? I celebrate the monkey, and the entire Monkees catalog.

Submitted by AJ at 2008-12-16 10:10:15 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Iowa's working on a ban???

Time to write my state congressman.

Or buy a monkey and get grandfathered in.

Submitted by bugblender at 2008-12-14 23:23:48 EST (#)
Rating: 1

Ummm...not one racist comment about louisiana.

Wow,

Being a Banana Republic and all...I'm a little disappointed but pleasantly suprised.

Submitted by pen_name at 2008-12-10 12:55:57 EST (#)
Rating: 2

surprisingly awesome.

Submitted by beeltea at 2008-12-10 01:52:58 EST (#)
Rating: 0

I'm not allowed a pet monkey in the state i live or the state i grew up in.

:(

Submitted by hidden101 at 2008-12-09 12:54:32 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2008-12-05 06:54:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-12-04 17:15:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

When monkeys are outlawed, only outlaws will have monkeys.

Submitted by Chroniclysm at 2008-12-09 12:12:52 EST (#)
Rating: 2

B@W

Submitted by therealgeddylee at 2008-12-06 18:42:52 EST (#)
Rating: 1

Enlightening. Truly enlightening.

Submitted by scourge at 2008-12-05 14:44:42 EST (#)
Rating: 2

ha

Submitted by firefly at 2008-12-05 11:55:29 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by BigBuffty at 2008-12-05 10:01:10 EST (#)
Rating: -2

needs more rape

Submitted by beeltea at 2008-12-05 08:56:12 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-12-04 16:57:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

You don't deserve a full +2 anyway, since I'm in one of the states currently in the process of monkey permabanning.
---
well if you get a monkey soon you can probably be grandfathered or something.

Submitted by DonovanMD at 2008-12-05 07:31:03 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by creep_firebombing at 2008-12-05 06:54:04 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-12-04 17:15:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

When monkeys are outlawed, only outlaws will have monkeys.

Submitted by czwij at 2008-12-05 05:38:45 EST (#)
Rating: 1

monkey see
monkey do
monkey will destroy you

bad monkey!


it's better that you dont have one

Submitted by orphelia at 2008-12-05 01:55:09 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by lungfish at 2008-12-04 21:47:25 EST (#)
Rating: 2

"I ... married my wife because she promised me a monkey." - icarus1987, 14 November 2008

Submitted by YourNameHere at 2008-12-04 20:54:26 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by Fungah at 2008-12-04 19:51:54 EST (#)
Rating: 2

This is fucking awesome.

Submitted by Cyrus at 2008-12-04 19:23:46 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Look, I live in freezone monkey state. I'd need some cold weather boyz though. It's nippy.

Submitted by monkeyswithguns at 2008-12-04 18:29:48 EST (#)
Rating: 2

I am outraged that the state of Jawjuh in which I currently reside has a ban upon my kith and kin....back noth tawards Vujinyah I shall head, to the land of my forefathers, who so wisely decreed that every man should be free to own a monkey.


VA legal code 569, section R: primates for domestic companionship, paragraph 14.

Submitted by TooMuchMan at 2008-12-04 18:01:00 EST (#)
Rating: 2

That orangutan is probably all like "what the fuck am I doing here with all these lower primates, jackass?"

Submitted by Yozz at 2008-12-04 17:50:00 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Vould you like to touch my monkey?

I vould be as happy as a little GIIIHHHRRRLL.

Submitted by Bubba2341 at 2008-12-04 17:38:04 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-12-04 16:58:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

According to this, I could have a pet monkey if I wanted.

Nah. I'll pass. Monkeys sling poo.
==============
So does Method, but so what?

Submitted by HighVoltage900 at 2008-12-04 17:19:43 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2008-12-04 17:13:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

Sweet! VA allows pet monkeys! :)
============
Aces.

Submitted by lotuseater at 2008-12-04 17:18:57 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Slavery is still legal in Hawaii!

Ok, so I looked at this map and noticed that Hawaii is the only state requiring monkey owners to be bonded. I've been writing a bunch of crap about municipal bonding lately and still don't fully understand it, so I did a little bit of research on Hawaii's monkey policies. The site I ended up at said something along the lines of "Hawaii is the only state requiring a bond to possess nonhuman primates."

The logical conclusion, then, would be that there are no limitations on possessing human primates, right?

Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-12-04 17:18:48 EST (#)
Rating: 0

I'm more worried about the "monkey-spank" laws in my neighborhood.

Submitted by skrapmetal at 2008-12-04 17:15:36 EST (#)
Rating: 2

When monkeys are outlawed, only outlaws will have monkeys.

Submitted by Sage at 2008-12-04 17:13:03 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Sweet! VA allows pet monkeys! :)

Submitted by zzzzz at 2008-12-04 17:08:18 EST (#)
Rating: 2

B@W

Submitted by rob_berg at 2008-12-04 17:05:45 EST (#)
Rating: 2


YOU WANT TO PET MY MONKEY?

Submitted by ASO at 2008-12-04 17:04:42 EST (#)
Rating: 2

i wonder what the laws are regarding the ownership of porch monkeys? my state says it's legal but in the past, putting them to work has been problematic.

Submitted by SilvrWolf at 2008-12-04 17:02:42 EST (#)
Rating: 2

I have to buy a permit to have a wolf hybrid in VA, but I can own a howler monkey? Son of a bitch.
God bless the Commiewealth.

Submitted by sandmantate at 2008-12-04 17:02:41 EST (#)
Rating: 2

this is good info

Submitted by haikumikoo at 2008-12-04 16:59:28 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2008-12-04 13:57:20 PST (#)
Ranking: 2

i dont get the ban in california. i have heard that one out of every three teenage male monkeys in compton is in prison. are my facts and figures wrong or am i missing something else?
=====

I have no idea why this happened and it was and will probably only be funny to me, but after reading this I imagined a monotone black gentlemen stating, "If it wasn't for my monkey, I'd be dead or in jail."

Submitted by forensicgirl3 at 2008-12-04 16:58:47 EST (#)
Rating: 2

According to this, I could have a pet monkey if I wanted.

Nah. I'll pass. Monkeys sling poo.

Submitted by haikumikoo at 2008-12-04 16:57:29 EST (#)
Rating: 2

You don't deserve a full +2 anyway, since I'm in one of the states currently in the process of monkey permabanning.

Submitted by ASO at 2008-12-04 16:57:20 EST (#)
Rating: 2

i dont get the ban in california. i have heard that one out of every three teenage male monkeys in compton is in prison. are my facts and figures wrong or am i missing something else?

Submitted by haikumikoo at 2008-12-04 16:56:57 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Yeah.

Submitted by haikumikoo at 2008-12-04 16:56:44 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Huh, I did not know that I could just go out and buy a monkey if I felt like it.

+2 that is almost good to know

Submitted by ASO at 2008-12-04 16:55:30 EST (#)
Rating: 2

hahahahahahaahhaha

Submitted by Snark at 2008-12-04 16:55:05 EST (#)
Rating: 2

In Canada same sex monkey marriage is not only legal but encouraged... hence Celine Dion.

Submitted by Doodles at 2008-12-04 16:53:43 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Very useful for me.

thanks

Submitted by Snark at 2008-12-04 16:52:34 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Ahahahahaha!


Foul temptress. I'll bet she thinks Ziggy's gotten too preachy, too!

-- Homer Simpson
The Last Temptation of Homer