login / register
ϞΘͭңϊйԆɮƲᴚᵍḜ® ϞΘͭңϊйԆɮƲᴚᵍḜ® ϞΘͭңϊйԆɮƲᴚᵍḜ® ϞΘͭңϊйԆɮƲᴚᵍḜ® ϞΘͭңϊйԆɮƲᴚᵍḜ® ϞΘͭңϊйԆɮƲᴚᵍḜ® ϞΘͭңϊйԆɮƲᴚᵍḜ®
Welcome to Ubersite!

Knowing Your Social Status Isn't Always a Good Thing

Submitted by w_t_a_y_s_t_r_m at 2009-01-27 08:46:07 EST
Rating: 1.73 on 72 ratings (72 reviews) (Review this item) (V)

Fridays in London are typically drinking nights. Although that trend has begun to slow down a lot lately, due to various newspapers telling people that they’re going to lose their jobs soon, for some of us we’re too committed to the pattern, or decide to drink to forget that in a few months we’ll be having a reunion at the job centre.

I fall somewhere in the middle. My job hasn’t been really affected, but the industry has, and we’re looking at a further downturn of approximately “we don’t know” %, according to middle management. According to upper management things have never been better, we’re very optimistic and any future redundancies will be to protect the future of the company. If you enjoy mixed messages, bullshit and overcharging, then you would love a job where I work. Unfortunately you can’t. Not even sure if I still have a job where I work.

Back to the point, last Friday a larger than normal group of us were out a pub. Where I work is on the western edge of The City (which is pretty much the business area of London, where all the finance dicks work/use to work/killed themselves). Go ten minutes east and you’re in Hackney, which is kind of like Gaza, but with less English speakers and more exotic food.

Sandwiched between tossers and a warzone, it leaves very little choices for a night out, so we generally go to an okay pub just around the corner. It’s quite a small place and gets quite busy, so can be uncomfortable at first, but a few of us disappear downstairs to the hidden pool and darts room, and only resurface a few hours later when we’ve farted the place out of oxygen and upstairs is a bit emptier.

The great thing about this pub is the music. The landlord is quite a young guy, and instead of a jukebox or MTV or any of that shit playing, he just hooks his laptop up to the sound system and leaves his music library on shuffle behind the bar. Being regulars for about six months now, we can get away with going back there and switching the music to whatever we want. This tends to piss off other patrons, as we typically get halfway through a track and then change it, but never mind.

Last Friday was especially busy, but after the pool, darts and dropping nukes downstairs, everyone else upstairs had secured a large enough space for us all to fit in. As the night drew on, people began to filter out of the pub, meaning we had even more space and were able to actually start dancing around a little bit. Other people there seemed to interpret our drunken staggering and piss-taking as having fun, some started to join in.

Nothing better than random strangers joining in a night of pissed up moshing, pumping, popping and line dancing (he has a large variety on his laptop).

There was one girl in there, which I had never seen before, who was, in short, stunning. She was so beautiful, about 5ft 6, lovely figure which went in and out everywhere you want it to, toned, not skinny, long, black hair, perfect balance of make-up. And my God could this girl move. She knew exactly what she was doing and how she was affecting every guy in there, and I was no exception.

Although I am an incredibly arrogant individual, I also know my place in the real world. If you don’t know me, I’m about 6ft tall, but have a hunch. When stood up straight I’m about 6ft 4, so I have a four inch hunchback. I’m scruffy around my face because I’m too lazy to shave. My hair is shoulder length, and so awesome that I’ve been mistaken for a girl more than once from the back. I’ve overweight, but not so grossly that I can’t move very fast, instead I just give a weird wobbly effect when I move too much too quickly. I basically know my limits.

Some might wonder how I managed to get a girlfriend in the first place, but most of these faults are quite new developments. When I met Jo I was clean shaven, tidy haired and if anything slightly underweight. And even then I wasn’t exactly a prize catch.

So while some guys would approach this girl and try it on, I wouldn’t dare. Especially not when those who I would have bet stood much more of a chance with her than I did got rejected. After not very long I think I was one of the few in there who hadn’t hit on her. But I was comfortable with that. Until she kept making eye contact and smiling, that is.

I instantly decided there were a few possibilities (along with the chances of this being right):
- She either did like me and I was totally wrong (15%)
- She thought I was a girl with a beard (15%)
- She thought I was gay and jealous of her (50%)

That’s not me being modest or self-derogatory, just how I feel, so fuck off with any pity or insults, because I really don’t care.

This carried on for about forty-five minutes, with us making eye contact at least once every couple of minutes, when I went outside for some cooling air and a cigarette, which was just what I needed.

It wasn’t look before she and two of her friends were out there as well, but a little bit away from me. Every now and again I looked over and saw her and her friends looking back, clearly talking about me and not being too shy about it.

Halfway through their smokes, her friends dropped them to the floor and walked back inside, leaving this girl on her own. Quite confidently she walked over to me and stood next to me.

“You’ve been looking at me all night.” She said. Instantly I thought that she was arrogant and couldn’t understand why I hadn’t hit on her when everyone else had.

“Sorry about that.” I didn’t know what else to say.

“It’s fine.” She remained silent for a little while. “Howcome you didn’t try and talk to me?” She gave me such a saucy sideways glance.

“I don’t know. I know my limits I guess.” I took a long drag on my cigarette, trying to finish it quicker for some reason.

“What does that mean?”

“I don’t handle rejection very well.” I told her.

“Why do you think I would reject you?” Her voice was getting sweeter and more innocent with each sentence, destroying me inside.

“I don’t know.” I wasn’t in the mood for listing all my faults outside the pub and killing my high.

“Don’t you think it would be worth the risk?” The arrogant bitch asked. In retrospect that phrase just fucks me off now, but at the time all I could think of was her legs spinning and moving, flicking her short skirt up to almost reveal something it shouldn’t.

“Not really.” I said, just finally zoning out and going into autopilot.

“Huh?” Stumped, she couldn’t make ‘huh’ sound cute or alluring.

“Hard to masturbate over a rejection.” I said, regretting it before even opening my mouth to say the words. The next moment was quite possibly the most awkward of my life. She was just stood there, confusion, disgust, anger and pretty much every other negative emotion you can feel towards someone in a single moment clear on her face.

Slowly stepping past her, I went back towards the door to the pub, to find her two friends stood just on the inside, also in stunned silence, but with just disgust on their faces. Stepping past them, I went back inside the pub and stood next to my drink while all around my friends carried on dancing, none the wiser to how much I might have just fucked up.



Review This Item

Rating:

Comment:




Reviews


Submitted by no1hasdis at 2009-02-05 15:33:09 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by Sphagnum at 2009-02-05 15:07:48 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Nice to see you back, Man

Submitted by Replen at 2009-02-02 05:44:48 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by EmissionImpossible at 2009-01-30 03:39:55 EST (#)
Rating: 2

yeah and see me!

Submitted by coley at 2009-01-30 03:39:19 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Someday I will have the cajones (and money) to return to England.

Submitted by ICO at 2009-01-29 16:41:05 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by Crystle at 2009-01-29 16:05:11 EST (#)
Rating: 2

watch it a bit? My family are on FB...

Submitted by JoeyG at 2009-01-29 14:25:38 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-01-28 22:39:00 GMT (#)
Ranking: 0

Joey, IF there is thise uber thing, i reckon we should meet up first. protection if you like, you know i will protect you ;)


but seriously, we should, we live so close!


-----------------------

We should definitely get together. Not in a gay way.

At least not at first, anyway.

However, I am as about as reliable as my ford focus, so we need lots of forward planning. And no floods.

Submitted by iambetteratit at 2009-01-29 13:06:52 EST (#)
Rating: -2

I guess I'll be the bullshit sifter today.

Here's what really happened.


I go to this shithole bar alot, I've spoken with the owner before. Once, He was even so drunk he made the DJ play the song I requested. Me and my friends are such social outcasts that in the beginning of the evening we go downstairs so that the cool crowd (who only come to this shithole for the cheap early night drink specials before they go to a real bar) Don't see us and laugh. I fart alot, and I look like Egor from the movie Vanhelsing.

A moderately attractive girl showed up one night. This is a first. I kept staring at her like a rapist sizeing up his prey. She became annoyed with that after a while so her and the other douchebag guys she showed up with kept mean mugging me. I couldnt keep up eye contact because I am a gutless deformed shit, so I pretended to suddenly have the urge to smoke.

I went outside to smoke and her and her guy friends followed me out asking why I kept staring at her. Me having no social grace or skill responded "I don't like her I promise!" Her guy friend spit on me. I told the other rejects I hang out with what happened expecting them to back me up. They tucked their junk between their legs and laughed at me too.


I wasn't there but I imagine that's alot closer to what actually happened.

Submitted by Merlina at 2009-01-29 12:30:19 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by w_t_a_y_s_t_r_m (user info) at 2009-01-28 10:06:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0

Come back to England at the end of March. Going to try and organise a weekend binge. Was going to post about it today, but too busy
~~~~
I should be ablt to make end of March. Make it London though. Not because I'm too lazy to get the train but we can go to somewhere decent in Piccadilly like Waxy O Conners or O'Neills. Or the Hippodrome (not been to for years - might be shite now)

Submitted by indoninja at 2009-01-29 08:46:03 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by locksly at 2009-01-29 04:24:25 EST (#)
Rating: 2

You will be kicking yourself for years, well done.

Submitted by BadAssJulie at 2009-01-29 02:26:59 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by simple_catalyst at 2009-01-29 01:57:23 EST (#)
Rating: 2

B@W

Submitted by X54 at 2009-01-28 22:24:17 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Good for you. You deprived her of the malicious pleasure of rejecting you.

Submitted by catscradle at 2009-01-28 19:22:41 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Hahaha - that's awesome.

Submitted by cheerios at 2009-01-28 18:44:42 EST (#)
Rating: 2

hahaha.

Submitted by Quint at 2009-01-28 18:15:12 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Awesome story. Funniest thing I've read here in a while.

Now time for another 2 month break.

Submitted by EmissionImpossible at 2009-01-28 17:39:00 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Joey, IF there is thise uber thing, i reckon we should meet up first. protection if you like, you know i will protect you ;)


but seriously, we should, we live so close!

Submitted by w_t_a_y_s_t_r_m at 2009-01-28 10:06:38 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2009-01-28 09:36:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

i miss proper pubs

---

Come back to England at the end of March. Going to try and organise a weekend binge. Was going to post about it today, but too busy

Submitted by apollo88 at 2009-01-28 09:36:37 EST (#)
Rating: 2

i miss proper pubs

Submitted by sexualchocolate1984 at 2009-01-28 09:18:20 EST (#)
Rating: 1

You know it......




























here it comes........














































it's coming, don't pretend you don't know what it is.............




































SHOULD HAVE RAPED HER!!!

Submitted by Doodles at 2009-01-28 08:39:54 EST (#)
Rating: 2

you're great

Submitted by Offspring at 2009-01-28 08:27:10 EST (#)
Rating: 2

You never know until you try.

Submitted by Berty at 2009-01-28 04:40:44 EST (#)
Rating: 2

A friend of mine has a very wise saying; "regret is stupid, because you always do what you think is best at the time in all things, even if that thing was to throw all your toys out of the pram."

He's right as well. Clever lad considering he gave himself brain damage and his enormous racial handicap.

Besides, the very idea that bars and clubs should be sexual arenas where men and women square off against each other to find sexual partners is offensive and tawdry.

Submitted by joedaddy at 2009-01-27 22:11:16 EST (#)
Rating: 2

it's not rocket science, you either know how to do; "the dance" or, you don't

Submitted by Crystle at 2009-01-27 19:25:49 EST (#)
Rating: 2

I would love to have been there. And you aim too low, you know. I know 'cus I've seen it.

Submitted by Crystle at 2009-01-27 19:13:20 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by JoeyG at 2009-01-27 17:43:32 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2009-01-27 21:33:27 GMT (#)
Ranking: 2

Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2009-01-27 14:58:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

I'd really want to go for a drink with you and Spam and EI and Drogo, but the thought of the fallout from such a cataclysmic event worries me.

________

*blinks*

Well fuck you JoeyG. It's not like I've been waiting here all these months for you to tell me where you're posting these days.

*walks of kicking stones*

------------------

I'm still here in Swindon....sadly. I've had a few ups and downs (there's a see-saw in the kiddies playground near my house) and I've had a job with Age Concern (don't you dare laugh) helping grannies to use laptops that they've been given by grandkids for xmas. One old bat asked me how 'to find fun shit on the internet'. I gave her the address for uber, and I'm damned if she aint one of the alters round here - a week after giving her the details of this site (she's 81), she has redtube stored in her favourites. She insisted on showing me a clip of 2 granny lesbians going hell for leather, and proclaimed 'that could have been me, you know'.

I'm trying to apply for another job in the life insurance industry, as I was good at predicting when people were about to die, but my recent Curriculum Vitae activity is a tad off-putting to employers:

1998-2007

Employed with ***********. Held various positions, encompassing all aspects of the medical insurance industry, including underwriting, claims, actuarials and project management.

2007-Present

Left previous employment due to exposing the company's negligant activities and attitudes towards data protection via a community website. Have since been eeking out a living by flogging hooky software, and teaching OAP's how to fine-tune their searches for adult material on teh intarwebz, innit.


Where am I going wrong, goddamit????

Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe at 2009-01-27 16:37:55 EST (#)
Rating: 2

I remember being outside a pub talking to some guy, thinking we're hitting it off when he asked me If I wanted to see his balls.

I didn't really get time to answer before he whipped them out.

Neat

Submitted by Merlina at 2009-01-27 16:33:59 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2009-01-27 13:12:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0

well i promise not to stick around all day. plus you'd have a live in maid for three months that you wouldn't have to pay. i also cook. i might be able to get a summer job working at the london office. but i doubt they'll pay me much so it's why i'm trying to think of these things in advance. i'm good for cleaning house and stuff at offices.

~~~~
I might be able to get you a summer job

It would mean working for me... but I'm a nice boss...

Submitted by LittleMonster at 2009-01-27 16:33:27 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2009-01-27 14:58:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

I'd really want to go for a drink with you and Spam and EI and Drogo, but the thought of the fallout from such a cataclysmic event worries me.

________

*blinks*

Well fuck you JoeyG. It's not like I've been waiting here all these months for you to tell me where you're posting these days.

*walks of kicking stones*

Submitted by bozznc at 2009-01-27 16:20:02 EST (#)
Rating: 2

I know where you're coming from. However, self depreciating humor at the right time could have turned the night into a drunken nosh-fest! I'm 6'3, and I know what you mean by coming off clumsy and foolish, but emo/bitter doesn't get your "bo-bo" wet, brother.

Submitted by YourNameHere at 2009-01-27 15:48:10 EST (#)
Rating: 0

<3

Submitted by experima at 2009-01-27 15:03:08 EST (#)
Rating: 2

<3

Submitted by JoeyG at 2009-01-27 14:58:05 EST (#)
Rating: 2

I'd really want to go for a drink with you and Spam and EI and Drogo, but the thought of the fallout from such a cataclysmic event worries me.

+2 Bringing back Britain though, I'm sure I just read a comment from you on another post to that effect. Or some shit. Or piss, or vomit. I'm sure we could plaster a pub floor with all 3 and consider it acceptable, or even encourageable, behaviour.

Submitted by redskieslookfake at 2009-01-27 14:01:38 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Awesome

Submitted by LittleMonster at 2009-01-27 13:44:05 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Loved and hated london at the same time. I'm in a good place now, an hour and a half by train on a bad day and I'm right back in my old stomping ground.

What I wouldn't give for a brick lane curry right now........

Submitted by ghola at 2009-01-27 13:29:21 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by Sidivan at 2009-01-27 13:22:56 EST (#)
Rating: 2

You just shattered the little bubble she lives in.

You really should've been like, "You're going to reject me because my best line is 'you wanna fuck and get a pizza?'"

Submitted by MyOwnLittleWorld at 2009-01-27 13:15:47 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by inion_de_trua at 2009-01-27 13:12:24 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2009-01-27 12:50:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2009-01-27 12:35:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

who in london wants to put me up for a whole summer? not this coming but the one after.
~
damn

you can stay for a weekend hon...

but...

the WHOLE SUMMER?!?

------

well i promise not to stick around all day. plus you'd have a live in maid for three months that you wouldn't have to pay. i also cook. i might be able to get a summer job working at the london office. but i doubt they'll pay me much so it's why i'm trying to think of these things in advance. i'm good for cleaning house and stuff at offices.

don't let me touch your plants though, i'd kill them :(

Submitted by orphelia at 2009-01-27 12:52:38 EST (#)
Rating: 2

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2009-01-27 17:49:40 GMT (#)
Ranking: 2

Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-01-27 12:36:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

Last time I went, it was smelly, I saw rats, I was over charged for everything and London people didn't have a clue about the outside world. And boy, do they think they are so much better than us up north.
And it's a lie you can find decent food 24 hours.
:)
Oh, and it was full of TOURISTS. Yuck.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It smells of London.
I've never seen a rat - I can only guess you mean one of the 'tube mice' you get on the Underground
Yes, you get overcharged in cities. All cities.
I actually do have a clue about the outside world.
I don't think I'm better. I know I am.
Only decent food is home made - or damn expensive restaurants. Its a city. See the 'city' comment.
Tourist can go and suck my balls. Not that I have any.

-------------

We don't over charge in Nottingham, just rob you at gun point first.
You should try that ONE milk if you get it down there rather than skimmed, it's lovely.
Jordans nut crunch and yeo valley vanilla yogurt is also sublime.

Submitted by Merlina at 2009-01-27 12:50:45 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2009-01-27 12:35:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

who in london wants to put me up for a whole summer? not this coming but the one after.
~
damn

you can stay for a weekend hon...

but...

the WHOLE SUMMER?!?

Submitted by Merlina at 2009-01-27 12:49:40 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-01-27 12:36:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

Last time I went, it was smelly, I saw rats, I was over charged for everything and London people didn't have a clue about the outside world. And boy, do they think they are so much better than us up north.
And it's a lie you can find decent food 24 hours.
:)
Oh, and it was full of TOURISTS. Yuck.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It smells of London.
I've never seen a rat - I can only guess you mean one of the 'tube mice' you get on the Underground
Yes, you get overcharged in cities. All cities.
I actually do have a clue about the outside world.
I don't think I'm better. I know I am.
Only decent food is home made - or damn expensive restaurants. Its a city. See the 'city' comment.
Tourist can go and suck my balls. Not that I have any.



Submitted by orphelia at 2009-01-27 12:36:46 EST (#)
Rating: 2

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2009-01-27 17:33:49 GMT (#)
Ranking: 2

Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-01-27 09:26:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

Oh and living in London sucks, you may as well have a bubble around the city.
~~~

It does not!
---

Last time I went, it was smelly, I saw rats, I was over charged for everything and London people didn't have a clue about the outside world. And boy, do they think they are so much better than us up north.
And it's a lie you can find decent food 24 hours.
:)
Oh, and it was full of TOURISTS. Yuck.

Submitted by firefly at 2009-01-27 12:35:49 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by inion_de_trua at 2009-01-27 12:35:01 EST (#)
Rating: 2

who in london wants to put me up for a whole summer? not this coming but the one after.

Submitted by Merlina at 2009-01-27 12:33:49 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-01-27 09:26:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

Oh and living in London sucks, you may as well have a bubble around the city.
~~~

It does not!

Submitted by Shlongy at 2009-01-27 12:13:52 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Didn't read it.

Submitted by Fungah at 2009-01-27 11:51:33 EST (#)
Rating: 0

uhhh

Submitted by MickGinny at 2009-01-27 11:46:41 EST (#)
Rating: 2

chicks with dicks

Submitted by scourge at 2009-01-27 11:40:35 EST (#)
Rating: 2

few clumsy bits in the middle, but you brought it home in the end.

good show.

Submitted by inion_de_trua at 2009-01-27 11:32:29 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-01-27 09:22:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

haha she sounded arrogant. Both my best friends are very attractive (which FJ can now vouch for) and don't really know it, which makes them so lovely.
And anyway, she sounds stuck up. My first reaction to your comment would have been to laugh, I mean when you are out drinking and whatever, worse comments could be made.
Anything 6ft + is sexy to most women.
-------

i agree with all of the above.

especially when you're 6' in heels.

Submitted by inion_de_trua at 2009-01-27 11:31:01 EST (#)
Rating: 2

awesome.

Submitted by LittleMonster at 2009-01-27 11:07:47 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Thank God you're back

Submitted by monkeyswithguns at 2009-01-27 10:09:22 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2009-01-27 08:56:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

smart move.
$20 says she had a penis.

I'll raise.

Submitted by Sage at 2009-01-27 09:47:54 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by F.J.Bell at 2009-01-27 09:40:23 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Your friend should be careful, some of the fellas on that website look inbred.

Submitted by orphelia at 2009-01-27 09:30:27 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Yes, but she attractive. But doesn't believe she is. Thats all.
I think girls who are attractive and KNOW it can be hard work.

Submitted by F.J.Bell at 2009-01-27 09:28:59 EST (#)
Rating: 2

We don't have this "pink eye" that you speak of here in Britain. Must be indigenous to America.

Pheeley I've only seen one of your friends haven't I?

Submitted by orphelia at 2009-01-27 09:26:27 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Oh and living in London sucks, you may as well have a bubble around the city.

Submitted by SgtHartman at 2009-01-27 09:24:12 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2009-01-27 09:20:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

It's not you, it's me. Think I need my eyes tested and I can only handle a paragraph or two without needing to take a break. I'm sure it's brill.
=========================
is that some british blokes word for "pink eye"?

Submitted by orphelia at 2009-01-27 09:22:55 EST (#)
Rating: 2

haha she sounded arrogant. Both my best friends are very attractive (which FJ can now vouch for) and don't really know it, which makes them so lovely.
And anyway, she sounds stuck up. My first reaction to your comment would have been to laugh, I mean when you are out drinking and whatever, worse comments could be made.
Anything 6ft + is sexy to most women.

Submitted by F.J.Bell at 2009-01-27 09:20:41 EST (#)
Rating: 2

It's not you, it's me. Think I need my eyes tested and I can only handle a paragraph or two without needing to take a break. I'm sure it's brill.

Submitted by w_t_a_y_s_t_r_m at 2009-01-27 09:19:10 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2009-01-27 09:16:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

I'm having issues with reading this.

---

Grammer or just bad? Not sure what you mean?

Submitted by F.J.Bell at 2009-01-27 09:16:51 EST (#)
Rating: 2

I'm having issues with reading this.

Submitted by SilvrWolf at 2009-01-27 09:14:04 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Replace: "Hard to masturbate over a rejection." with: "How about a blowjob?" from now on.
Swing for the fences, man. I'd rather rub one out while sobbing about the bitch who told me to "get lost" than to have never tried in the first place.

Although, in all honesty, I think she was trying to figure out if you were gay or not.

Submitted by FALLEN at 2009-01-27 08:56:03 EST (#)
Rating: 2

smart move.
$10 says she had a penis

Submitted by orphelia at 2009-01-27 08:55:50 EST (#)
Rating: 2

http://www.ubersite.com/m/71597

I read this the other day, and loved it, so +2 on that alone.
Gosh, this will take me yonks to read.

Submitted by SgtHartman at 2009-01-27 08:50:28 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by kaos-king at 2009-01-27 08:47:24 EST (#)
Rating: 2


Immediate +2.

Now to read...




This is even more painful than it looks.

-- Homer Simpson
Brother from the Same Planet