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Omega

Submitted by Sage at 2009-04-07 16:13:02 EDT
Rating: 0.38 on 164 ratings (164 reviews) (Review this item) (V)

We meet.

It’s interesting, mildly entertaining conversation. I somewhat like talking to you. You’re cute, funny, and seemingly intelligent.

You ask me for my phone number. You seem nice enough, and I wouldn’t mind seeing you again and hanging out. “Why the hell not?” I think. So I give it to you. I know you’ll call me…they all do, really. I’m just the right balance of aloof and interested, and I’m good looking enough and smile a lot, and I can tell you’re really into me, though we barely know each other.

You call or text me two to three days later, asking me if I have plans for the next night. I say yes…but mention that I’m free the night after that. This is my M.O. I am never available spontaneously…that would be too desperate. You ask me if I want to go meet you for dinner at an Italian restaurant. Ugh. It’s always Italian. I have no fucking clue why everyone wants to eat at fucking Italian restaurants all the time on dates. Buy me a god damned steak, or take me to somewhere different and more obscure…take me to eat pho or Indian or Ethiopian food, for fuck’s sake. Italian is safe, and you’re already boring me. I agree to meet you there at 7pm. Seven o’ clock in the evening. Fucking typical.

I leave the office at 6:15, which leaves me just enough time to go home and feed my cat, brush my teeth, powder my nose, and dab on a bit of perfume. Maybe I’ll change but since we’re going to an Italian restaurant and I’m already bored with you I can’t be arsed, really.

I get there at 6:55 to scope out the rest of the crowd. I’m sitting at a table by the bar, facing the door. My mind is all over the place. I don’t even want to be here. I’d really rather be at home making my bag of popcorn and bowl of cereal, studying. That’s what I should be doing. Instead, I’m wasting my evening with you, someone I don’t give a fuck about, someone I don’t know, and someone I don’t care to know or give a fuck about. I don’t know why the hell I’m here. I make plans for later that evening so I have an “out” in case I need it.

Shit, you’re here. I give a fake smile and an awkward hug, and look at you expecting you to say something entertaining. You don’t immediately amuse me so I glaze over at whatever drivel comes out of your mouth…I don’t even know what you said, really. I don’t care.

The waitress comes by to take our food order. You suggest splitting a dish, which makes me want to leave. Not because I think you’re too cheap to pay for a full meal for me…quite the contrary. I would never expect you to pay for a first date. That’s all you’ll get, really, unless I’m actually interested in you, which I can already tell I’m not going to be. I always pay for myself on the first date, and I was hungry dammit, but not hungry enough to argue with you or give a fuck. I let you have your way objection free because I know it will get me the hell out of here faster. Shit. I’ll just hit a drive thru on the way to meet my friend.

I look at the time. We keep having meaningless conversation. Sometimes I’m amused, but mostly I’m not. Mostly, I’m thinking about leaving and going to smoke with my friend. I smile and hope you don’t notice that I’m not really paying attention. I laugh again; try not to talk too much because I don’t want you to keep talking. I would rather just get our food and eat so you shut the fuck up.

Our food finally arrives and there is of course a song and dance about an extra plate and silverware because we only got one fucking course. I eat my food as quickly and politely as possible, nod when the waitress checks in periodically to see if everything’s ok, refuse another drink, and resist the urge to tell the waitress to hurry up and give us the check.

When she comes back to collect our plates, you tell her you’d like another drink please, and look to me to see if I’d like another one. Well fuck. I guess I’m going to need one if I have to sit with you much longer.

I go to the bathroom and on the way there an old woman trips and falls. I just gawk a bit and walk around them. What a horrible bitch I am. I should have helped her, but she had enough people around her. I don’t need to be Captain Save-a-ho. I hear them walk into the bathroom and it makes me nervous. I hate public restrooms as it is. I hate the sound of old women peeing. It makes me nauseous…the gushing sound of piss flowing mercilessly out of their worn the fuck out vaginas. Ugh.

I wash my hands and go back to the table. I drink my Captain and Coke quickly and look at my watch and back up at you. “I actually have to leave here soon…” I offer. You look helplessly around for the waitress, and she brings us our check. You refuse to let me pay for my half, which is equal parts irritating and noble.

I thank you and say I had a great time as you walk me to my car. The rest of the walk is silent. I parked far away because I am too impatient to wait for the rest of the idiots to find a fucking parking space. It’s a waste of time, really. You look at me, expecting something. I give you a quick peck on the lips, turn around on my heel, and get into my car. I roll down my window, “call me!” I say coyly, as I smile and drive off.

I don’t answer any of your text messages…not that night, not the next day and not two days afterward. You text me yet again, saying “this is the last time I’m going to text you…if I don’t hear back, I’ll get the message.” I feel bad, and text you back that I just don’t feel a spark. You proceed to argue that you “thought we had a lot in common and that we could have fun getting to know one another”. I roll my eyes and I don’t respond.

I never respond, and I never will. You’re not him.

you are boring the fuck out of me.jpg
you are boring the fuck out of me.jpg


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Reviews


Submitted by Fey at 2011-02-10 17:05:01 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Also, I miss Haiku.

Submitted by Fey at 2011-02-10 17:03:57 EST (#)
Rating: 0

You do know we don't actually pee out of our vaginas, right?











I can't be bothered reading the reviews, so if I'm repeating what someone else has already said sue me.

Submitted by JonnyX at 2009-04-15 22:54:03 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2009-03-24 12:11:46 PDT (#)
Ranking: 0

PS: LM, it just *might* behoove you to not believe everything you read on the intarwebs (or any place, for that matter), and also to stay out of fake drama that isn't yours, mmmkay?




My guess is that this is one of Method's, Oathy's, or Sico's alters. If not, I have yet another devoted hater.
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um, I pre-date most of those tards, check out my stuff, you dumb whore

Submitted by johnny.b.dumb at 2009-04-14 02:53:40 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

a bit boring, really, but apparently so was the date.

Submitted by malefic at 2009-04-14 02:07:29 EDT (#)
Rating: -1

Submitted by NintendoCzar at 2009-04-13 23:55:27 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

sage you are truly a legend among men.

Submitted by Maddog at 2009-04-12 13:49:01 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Jeez, are you this much of a whiner when you're getting ass-fucked too?

Submitted by S.I. Co. at 2009-04-09 14:48:14 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

If they were female, were they hot? Go take pictures and send it to my email immediately. I'll let you know if I'd do them.

Submitted by S.I. Co. at 2009-04-09 14:47:37 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

And you enjoy my coattails no matter how bumpy the ride.

Shut up about NO sage wrote it bullshit. It is unfounded.

Submitted by S.I. Co. at 2009-04-09 14:46:53 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

I don't remember meeting any of your coworkers. I remember meeting some dude with a chick.

Submitted by Sage at 2009-04-09 14:35:59 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Also Sico, you made quite the impression on my coworkers yesterday. I bet you could smash them both (maybe at the same time) if you put enough effort into it.

Submitted by Sage at 2009-04-09 14:26:48 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Sico...riding your coattails is akin to being tied by the neck and dragged behind a pickup truck going 50 mph on a dirt fucking road in the desert someplace.

Submitted by Sage at 2009-04-09 14:24:28 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Haiku--you and several others pointed out exactly what has been going through my mind since I read the "ugh, typical high maintenance bitchy fucking female" type comments.

If this post were written by a dude it would have been received TOTALLY different. People would have thought it was hilarious. But NOOOOOO!! Sage writes it and there's a fucking uproar.

As for my seemingly bi-polar ways, I am an idealist and I try to be kind to everyone. However, the world is what it is (HORRIBLE AND FILLED WITH RETARTED, BORING FUCKING ASSHOLES WHO ONLY GIVE SHITS ABOUT THEMSELVES), so I do experience many feelings of misanthropy.

Submitted by S.I. Co. at 2009-04-09 13:33:20 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Fair point. I don't think you emphasized "stop talking" clearly enough though.

Sage also happens to be associated with me which instantly brings negative attention to her.

Although, in all my glory she is probably enjoying the free ride my coattails have to offer.

Submitted by haikumikoo at 2009-04-09 13:19:54 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2009-04-09 10:02:05 PDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2009-04-09 12:18:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Also, do you think any of the men on this site can get any women to even think about dating them without lying profusely?

I don't.
==========

Speak for yourself but I don't have any problem getting dates or getting my penis attention and I have a rule about not lying to anyone.
===

Speaking for myself would be boring, so I'll continue to make mostly negative assumptions about other people on ubersite instead.

Not that I'm particularly worried about it, but I find it funny that a post written by a dude with lines akin to, "Jesus Christ when will this dumb bitch stop talking so I can stick it in her pooper!" etc..., are fully embraced by the bitter, womanless masses...yet a female lying about wanting to be called back (or whatever it was) gets criticized.

Submitted by S.I. Co. at 2009-04-09 13:02:05 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2009-04-09 12:18:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Also, do you think any of the men on this site can get any women to even think about dating them without lying profusely?

I don't.
==========

Speak for yourself but I don't have any problem getting dates or getting my penis attention and I have a rule about not lying to anyone.

Submitted by Dervel at 2009-04-09 12:50:21 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2009-04-09 12:18:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Also, do you think any of the men on this site can get any women to even think about dating them without lying profusely?

---

Of course, I for one am fucking amazing.

Submitted by SgtHartman at 2009-04-09 12:21:23 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2009-04-09 12:18:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Also, do you think any of the men on this site can get any women to even think about dating them without lying profusely?

I don't.
====================
ouch...my ego....

I take offense to that dude, I only lie SOMETIMES.

Submitted by orphelia at 2009-04-09 12:21:22 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

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Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2009-04-09 17:18:40 BST (#)
Ranking: 2

Also, do you think any of the men on this site can get any women to even think about dating them without lying profusely?

--------------------

oh!

Submitted by haikumikoo at 2009-04-09 12:18:40 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Also, do you think any of the men on this site can get any women to even think about dating them without lying profusely?

I don't.

Submitted by gascs at 2009-04-09 12:16:35 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

"I mean, I thought it was pretty well-written, if nothing else. I want what I write to stir up some sort of emotion from the readers, and obviously (per the reviews, anyway) this piece did just that. Unfortunately the emotion was negative."

I'm pretty sure that the internet is full of anti-social men who believe that all women have deliberately slighted them in some way. Maybe it's difficult to separate emotion from objectivity (or even subjectivity).

"How dare a woman NOT BE INTERESTED IN A DATE!?? A woman with her own thoughts and attitudes!? I WON'T STAND FOR IT!!"

Of course it's better than, "OMG A GURL POSTED SUMPTHIN +2 +2 +2!!!!"

Submitted by haikumikoo at 2009-04-09 11:43:05 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Personally, I think your bitter, self-hating bitch side is far more interesting than the seemingly fake, bubbly, exclamation point filled one.

Any uberers who thought a woman who would actually associate with sicosemen of her own free will would be anything but the former were fooling themselves.

Submitted by Sage at 2009-04-09 11:41:36 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Awwww don't grovel, O!! I thought it was funny!!! :) Its all in good fun...no offense taken, promise!

Submitted by sandmantate at 2009-04-09 11:37:12 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

suck it

Submitted by orphelia at 2009-04-09 11:30:43 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2009-04-09 16:11:20 BST (#)
Ranking: 0

I knew it was you, you cheeky Brit bitch, you. ;) I could never retaliate in-kind, so hope you enjoyed it.

-----------------------------
i am part way through the most grovelling email ever :(

Submitted by Sage at 2009-04-09 11:24:28 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

I mean, I thought it was pretty well-written, if nothing else. I want what I write to stir up some sort of emotion from the readers, and obviously (per the reviews, anyway) this piece did just that. Unfortunately the emotion was negative.

Submitted by SgtHartman at 2009-04-09 11:20:19 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2009-04-09 11:11:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

I knew it was you, you cheeky Brit bitch, you. ;) I could never retaliate in-kind, so hope you enjoyed it.

And Sgt...tis precisely why I decided not to reply to any of the nonsense below. I have a harder and harder time giving a fuck about the opinions of at least 90% of the people on here. Guess that's a good thing, eh?
========================
*puts left finger on nose, points right index finger at sage*

Exactly.

maybe its just me, but it seems like so much EFFORT to battle like that.

Submitted by gascs at 2009-04-09 11:19:53 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Liked it. I think this deserves better than 0.39.

Submitted by Sage at 2009-04-09 11:11:20 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

I knew it was you, you cheeky Brit bitch, you. ;) I could never retaliate in-kind, so hope you enjoyed it.

And Sgt...tis precisely why I decided not to reply to any of the nonsense below. I have a harder and harder time giving a fuck about the opinions of at least 90% of the people on here. Guess that's a good thing, eh?

Submitted by SgtHartman at 2009-04-09 11:06:43 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

holy shit this drama is amazing.

I just dont think I could get that upset by what anyone on here said.

I gotta get some self-esteem, anyone wanna sell some?

Submitted by orphelia at 2009-04-09 10:34:52 EDT (#)
Rating: 2


Submitted by forensicgirl3 at 2009-04-09 10:06:00 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

This is still going on?! Blimey!

Submitted by BranDo at 2009-04-09 09:59:11 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Lemme guess, this is about dating....

This is Übersite you'd want to go to Undersite.


You get what you give, missy.


Well written but absolutely crap posture.
But hey, you've got friends to smoke pot with, WHOOPY!!!


I'm just glad I never had to go through this kind of ritual. Ever.

Haven't read the comments except R_B and Shlongy and they've said it all.

Submitted by TuTs at 2009-04-09 04:54:45 EDT (#)
Rating: 0


Submitted by Dervel at 2009-04-09 03:48:04 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2009-04-08 12:28:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

This was just ok for me, but have a +1. Men don't like hearing that they aren't all fucking awesome, interesting, wild studs with gigantic cocks that women would do anything to bang.

---

That's true. I hate being lied to.

Submitted by Merlina at 2009-04-08 19:25:21 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

dammit I really can't get used to typing on a laptop..

Submitted by Merlina at 2009-04-08 19:23:13 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Apollo - tell me you weren't in LondoN the night of thE irish rugby win...?

Submitted by apollo88 at 2009-04-08 19:20:37 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

hahahah look at the bitch backpedal.

she is the most worthless cunt on here.


Submitted by Merlina at 2009-04-08 19:16:21 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

OMG DRAMA!!!

CAUL

Where are you?

Submitted by no1hasdis at 2009-04-08 16:27:03 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2009-04-08 16:17:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Shut the fuck up skunt! Kidding, I'm going to have beers. Any one is more than welcome so long as they don't ogle my black and blue nose. I have no idea how I got a black and blue on my nose :(

---------------------

tell your boss you're not actually suppossed to use that novelty toilet paper. The ink runs off when you wipe.

Submitted by sandmantate at 2009-04-08 16:24:12 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2009-04-08 15:47:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1


Yeah, dumbass, I wrote the post, so I know what it contains. This is not an example of mommy issues. My bioligical mother had issues, my step-mother didn't. So... what are my issues? Do all adopted children have "mommy issues" according to your proof?

--------------------------

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I didn't see this, since I don't read your posts because you're a shitty writer. This is amazing. AHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

----------------------------------

Then obviously there are two people who wouldn't know sarcasm if it slapped them in the back of their retarded heads. Just because you take everything seriously (because you have no fucking sense of humor) doesn't mean that everyone has a fucking beach full of sand in their vagina like you do.

I will take back the mommy issue thing after seeing your picture. You're just a homely asshole with a double chin.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Well, isn't this quaint! We've moved from the pompous statement to the "It was just a joke" to the "You don't get it because you're to dumb to take a joke" to the personal insults. If you deflected anymore from the original issue, then I'd wonder if Sico had your account. It was never a joke. You are a sexist twit, but that OK because women get a free pass in your mind. Pretty soon, your IRL! husband will come and start a fight, because that's your clssic M.O.

Look, just take the "win". You've earned it, killer.

Submitted by S.I. Co. at 2009-04-08 16:17:26 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Shut the fuck up skunt! Kidding, I'm going to have beers. Any one is more than welcome so long as they don't ogle my black and blue nose. I have no idea how I got a black and blue on my nose :(

Submitted by LittleMonster at 2009-04-08 16:13:48 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Jebus guys. You're all ripping shreds off each other. What the hell has gotten into you? I like all of you, but this is getting a bit nasty don't you think?

I would happily have beers with anyone of you, when you're not acting like crazy folk. Could the normal none aggressive uber users return to their posts please!

Submitted by Pentameter at 2009-04-08 15:47:41 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

Submitted by sandmantate (user info) at 2009-04-08 15:30:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Submitted by no1hasdis (user info) at 2009-04-08 15:26:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

sandyvagtaint:

"4: My mother doesn't love me. This isn't an emo thing. She has flat out told other people, and even made her feelings clear to me. The woman doesn't love me. Probably never did. My father raised me after my mother finally couldn't take it anymore. I was 12 when my mother left. She fought for custody for my younger brother... she didn't talk to me for 8 years. Now, I don't talk to her. She has complained to family that I ignore her... incredible."


your words not mine. I don't have time for you today. STFU.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Yeah, dumbass, I wrote the post, so I know what it contains. This is not an example of mommy issues. My bioligical mother had issues, my step-mother didn't. So... what are my issues? Do all adopted children have "mommy issues" according to your proof?

--------------------------

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I didn't see this, since I don't read your posts because you're a shitty writer. This is amazing. AHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Submitted by Pentameter at 2009-04-08 15:46:19 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

Submitted by sandmantate (user info) at 2009-04-08 15:01:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2009-04-08 14:27:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

Submitted by sandmantate (user info) at 2009-04-08 14:16:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Oh really Pentameter? You're just so super awesome! It's a good thing your deflection screen is on max!

I honestly don't give a fuck if you were insulted. You're ignorant whether or not you're insulted by that fact.

Fuck along now.

-------------------

You seriously have no fucking sense of humor whatsoever. Your mommy issues are so apparent right now that I almost feel sorry for you.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Don't you try to start some "I was only joking" bullshit. You come in here with a fucking chip on your shoulder, and two people call you on it. It was never a joke, and my response is not an indication of "mommy issues" you passive-aggressive little twit.

----------------------------------

Then obviously there are two people who wouldn't know sarcasm if it slapped them in the back of their retarded heads. Just because you take everything seriously (because you have no fucking sense of humor) doesn't mean that everyone has a fucking beach full of sand in their vagina like you do.

I will take back the mommy issue thing after seeing your picture. You're just a homely asshole with a double chin.

Submitted by sandmantate at 2009-04-08 15:42:49 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by no1hasdis (user info) at 2009-04-08 15:36:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Submitted by sandmantate (user info) at 2009-04-08 15:30:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Yeah, dumbass, I wrote the post, so I know what it contains. This is not an example of mommy issues. My bioligical mother had issues, my step-mother didn't. So... what are my issues? Do all adopted children have "mommy issues" according to your proof?

------------------------------------------------

Not all adopted chiildren have mommy issues. Sexually confused adolescents addicted to hard drugs due to an inability to properly function in society who respond to to blatant provocation by anonymous nobodies have mommy issues.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I thought you didn't have time this, internet hero!

Seriously, troll, how are you any different than other imbeciles like majercartoons and fundmentalist christians? You are fixed on the definitions that you want to be correct, and no amount of pesky facts are going to change that. Go sell your shit to Fox News or something, because your act is flat and it's getting old.

Submitted by no1hasdis at 2009-04-08 15:36:42 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by sandmantate (user info) at 2009-04-08 15:30:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Yeah, dumbass, I wrote the post, so I know what it contains. This is not an example of mommy issues. My bioligical mother had issues, my step-mother didn't. So... what are my issues? Do all adopted children have "mommy issues" according to your proof?

------------------------------------------------

Not all adopted chiildren have mommy issues. Sexually confused adolescents addicted to hard drugs due to an inability to properly function in society who respond to to blatant provocation by anonymous nobodies have mommy issues.

Submitted by sandmantate at 2009-04-08 15:30:25 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by no1hasdis (user info) at 2009-04-08 15:26:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

sandyvagtaint:

"4: My mother doesn't love me. This isn't an emo thing. She has flat out told other people, and even made her feelings clear to me. The woman doesn't love me. Probably never did. My father raised me after my mother finally couldn't take it anymore. I was 12 when my mother left. She fought for custody for my younger brother... she didn't talk to me for 8 years. Now, I don't talk to her. She has complained to family that I ignore her... incredible."


your words not mine. I don't have time for you today. STFU.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Yeah, dumbass, I wrote the post, so I know what it contains. This is not an example of mommy issues. My bioligical mother had issues, my step-mother didn't. So... what are my issues? Do all adopted children have "mommy issues" according to your proof?

Submitted by no1hasdis at 2009-04-08 15:26:26 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

sandyvagtaint:

"4: My mother doesn't love me. This isn't an emo thing. She has flat out told other people, and even made her feelings clear to me. The woman doesn't love me. Probably never did. My father raised me after my mother finally couldn't take it anymore. I was 12 when my mother left. She fought for custody for my younger brother... she didn't talk to me for 8 years. Now, I don't talk to her. She has complained to family that I ignore her... incredible."


your words not mine. I don't have time for you today. STFU.

Submitted by no1hasdis at 2009-04-08 15:24:35 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

BTW, all you people making stupid comments about sage being a bitch because she wasn't interested in the guy and instad of just telling him, just ignored his calls. She had every right to find that he just wasn't the one fo her on the first date.

If we're going to get into this, let's get some good conjecture in, and really start ripping into why Sage is an utterly worthless excuse for a human. Come people, you can do better.

I mean, we can start pointing out that Sage had serious issues with the divisions in her own family, and that led to her making a mess of her relationship with her ex (the one she is still hung up on, which causes heer malaise on these things). We can talk about how her fragile ego couldn't handle haing a step-child competing for his affection.

You could go with pointing out that Sage is completely and utterly insecure. In fact, this is the reason she couldn't jsut be honest to the guy, not because she's a bitch. I mean she could have passed up the date, but she needs to feel like she's still a desirable quantity. She could have told him at the end that she wasn't into him, but instead she just told him to call her and ignored his calls, because she is to insecure with herself to be honest and upfront, and is scared that he would react negatively to her admission.

She talks about "waiting for him to say something entertaining" without drumming up some interesting conversation herself. Not surprising, given sage is uncreative and uninteresting. What would she talk about? She wastes away her life plugging her 9-5 numbe crunching just to go home and smoke some dope and imagine her life will magically improve itself. In fact, that's why one fo the top things she is looking for is a guy who entertains her. She needs someone else to carry her because she is a boring, uninteresting nobody. She needs someone to make life fun for her, as well as hod her hand into making something of her life. Someone who was still hung up on her ex wouldn't even bother dating, unless it wa someone she had met on neutral ground and really thought there was a good chance. But our dear little Sage is desperate to find someone as she is a weak-willed individual like Hartman who "needs someone to complete her.


I could go on, but I don't have time for this shit today. But I expect to see alot more spurious allegations and uncalled for character assasination. What is wrong with uber these days.

Submitted by sandmantate at 2009-04-08 15:24:12 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Oh thank god for you no1. It's a great thing that Uber has a resident psychologist on hand. Nobody is trying to impress Sage.

Let me be clear about something; the only person who thinks that Pentameter's possesion of a vagina is relevent is Pentameter. She made a retarded sexist claim, and she was called out on it. If she were a man, I'd still have said exactly what I said.

Also, you're "proof" of my "mommy issues" is only proof that I had a drug addiction problem.

Submitted by St_Jimmy at 2009-04-08 15:15:44 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2009-04-08 15:00:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Further, the person I'm speaking of LOVES me. That's not an issue. There's more to it than whether or not we like each other. It's just not meant to be forever. It was only meant to be for a time.

__________________

Hmmmm. Well, if you both LOVE each other, I guess I don't understand why you're not WITH each other. I suppose that's probably a long story you'd rather not go into on a forum such as this.

That's fine. I'll be content with my ignorance regarding your love life + cooter. C'est la vie.

Either way, best of luck to you.

I'll leave you with this though. If you would truly rather be at home studying and eating popcorn, that's probably what you ought to be doing.

Submitted by no1hasdis at 2009-04-08 15:12:09 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

SandmanTaint:

STFU and quit trying to take a piece out of pent. She was dead on right.

You do have mommy issues. You also whored yourself out to woman to pay for your crack. And you fucked your male buddy. Seriously, your a fucking mess when it comes to woman, on par with Jack Mccallum.

Quit trying to impress Sage.

http://www.ubersite.com/m/118838

Submitted by sandmantate at 2009-04-08 15:01:46 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2009-04-08 14:27:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

Submitted by sandmantate (user info) at 2009-04-08 14:16:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Oh really Pentameter? You're just so super awesome! It's a good thing your deflection screen is on max!

I honestly don't give a fuck if you were insulted. You're ignorant whether or not you're insulted by that fact.

Fuck along now.

-------------------

You seriously have no fucking sense of humor whatsoever. Your mommy issues are so apparent right now that I almost feel sorry for you.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Don't you try to start some "I was only joking" bullshit. You come in here with a fucking chip on your shoulder, and two people call you on it. It was never a joke, and my response is not an indication of "mommy issues" you passive-aggressive little twit.

stfu

Submitted by Sage at 2009-04-08 15:00:56 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Further, the person I'm speaking of LOVES me. That's not an issue. There's more to it than whether or not we like each other. It's just not meant to be forever. It was only meant to be for a time.

Submitted by Sage at 2009-04-08 14:55:14 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

And I think you're taking the emphasis the wrong way. I didn't mean REALLY as in "a lot"...I meant it more to mean "rather"...as in, the person I'd RATHER be with.

Submitted by Sage at 2009-04-08 14:52:31 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

I can't answer that, St. No matter how hard you try, you can't help who you're interested in/attracted to. Only time will help.

Submitted by St_Jimmy at 2009-04-08 14:44:49 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2009-04-08 14:26:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

NO ONE compares to the person you REALLY want to be with...

____________________________

I suppose, but then why do you REALLY want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you?

I mean, shouldn't that fact alone make you lose interest? I think it's easy to build other people up in our minds. You start to think of someone as great and ignore any evidence that doesn't support your belief. Then you "fill in the blanks" with them and start to attribute all sorts of great things/attributes to them that do support your belief. Eventually, you start to pine for your idea of that person, an idea that usually resembles the actual person very little.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that, if someone doesn't really like you, then you shouldn't waste your time with them. Kind of a pride thing, I guess.


Submitted by inion_de_trua at 2009-04-08 14:33:16 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

sage, at this point, just be flattered that people had an emotional reaction to your writing. it means you did it well. it resonated with the audience, even if it incurred their (should be unimportant to you) wrath.

you wrote it well.

Submitted by Pentameter at 2009-04-08 14:27:55 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

Submitted by sandmantate (user info) at 2009-04-08 14:16:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Oh really Pentameter? You're just so super awesome! It's a good thing your deflection screen is on max!

I honestly don't give a fuck if you were insulted. You're ignorant whether or not you're insulted by that fact.

Fuck along now.

-------------------

You seriously have no fucking sense of humor whatsoever. Your mommy issues are so apparent right now that I almost feel sorry for you.

Submitted by Sage at 2009-04-08 14:27:24 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

*can't tell me that it's NOT predictable.

Submitted by Sage at 2009-04-08 14:26:25 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

I don't treat anyone like shit and I DO treat my dates the way I'd want them to treat me--I don't CONTINUE to lead them on.

Holy fucking shit.

I exaggerated and dramatized my disgust and bitterness for literary purposes, people. Give me a fucking everloving break. I DID mean it when I told him to call me and when I told him that I wanted to do it again...the date really WASN'T so bad. Then, when I slept on it, I realized that I didn't care. When you're hung up on someone THAT SHIT HAPPENS. NO ONE compares to the person you REALLY want to be with and at that point you realize you shouldn't waste someone's time.

I was ACTUALLY pretty excited to go to Maggiano's for dinner that night...and it was damn good, the food. But you can't tell me that it's predictable.

I'm obviously failing at explaining myself effectively...either that or you just dont fucking get it.

I'll stick wit the former to make you all feel good for being "right". Bra-fucking-vo to you.

Submitted by Cyrus at 2009-04-08 14:18:56 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2009-04-08 13:03:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Actually Cyrus, I love Italian restaurants. It's not that they're not good enough for me. Its just that it's all very predictable. And when something is THAT predictable I can typically deduce that the rest of the date is going to be predictable and that the DUDE is predictable and I am done with predictable.

Call me a bitch, a weasel, and a liar all you want. You're wrong on ALL counts.
--------------------------------------
OK I apologize for calling you a bitch. I'm sticking with weasel and liar though. What do you call saying things you don't really mean?

So you actually like Italian food but being asked to go to an Italian restaurant is just soooo predictiable and therefore any guy that asks you to go one is going to be sooo predictable and then the rest of the date or any relationaship with him is automatically going to be predictable... So you give up, make no effort, treat him poorly, and lie to him because that loser asked you to dine at an italian restaurant...

There's a reason you're not married or involved in a meaningful relationship.

Submitted by sandmantate at 2009-04-08 14:16:05 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Oh really Pentameter? You're just so super awesome! It's a good thing your deflection screen is on max!

I honestly don't give a fuck if you were insulted. You're ignorant whether or not you're insulted by that fact.

Fuck along now.

Submitted by Pentameter at 2009-04-08 14:08:20 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

The only way you can insult me is if you call me a man, Cyrus/sandmantate.

Submitted by sandmantate at 2009-04-08 14:06:43 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2009-04-08 13:09:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

And Pent, FUCK class. Half the guys I've met since my ex dont know how to spell the word, much less ACT the part. Why do you think books/movies like "He's Just Not That Into You" exploded with success? I don't owe these motherfuckers a goddamned thing.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Here's my problem with this Sage; you''re probably better than the way you are acting. Treat these guys you are dating the way you want everyone to treat you. Two wrongs don't make a right. Will you get burned pretty often? Yeah, but you'll have class.

All of your deflections and excuses for your actions are a sign of being a sociopath.

Don't be that person.

Submitted by Cyrus at 2009-04-08 14:05:46 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

by Pentameter (user info) at 2009-04-08 13:02:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

Submitted by Cyrus (user info) at 2009-04-08 12:38:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2009-04-08 12:28:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
-------------------------------

Why don't you dial back the fucking attitude, asshole? You just proved my point about a man overreacting when someone, especially someone with a vagina doesn't see things their way.

-------------------------------------------

Why don't you dial back on the attitude bitch? You've just proved my point about women overreacting when men don't agree with them.


Submitted by sandmantate at 2009-04-08 14:00:57 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2009-04-08 13:02:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

Submitted by Cyrus (user info) at 2009-04-08 12:38:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2009-04-08 12:28:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

This was just ok for me, but have a +1. Men don't like hearing that they aren't all fucking awesome, interesting, wild studs with gigantic cocks that women would do anything to bang. If a guy wrote this, they would probably have the same rating you do, but only because they didn't end up fucking her.

The bottom line is that people don't like honesty, especially when it's coming from the opposite sex. You might try being honest with these guys too - it's really shameful to lie and say you want to talk/see them again if you don't. Look at it this way - you'll be a fucking bitch either way, so you might as well exit with a shred of class.
-------------------------------------------------
That's complete horseshit.

You sound like somebody with a chip on their shoulder. Not all men think they're the shit.

I've been married for 25 years so I'm relying on memory, but as I recall if a girl didn't want to go out with me I didn't thnk she was a bitch, and if she didn;t want to go out with me again I didn't think she was a bitch.

-------------------------------

Why don't you dial back the fucking attitude, asshole? You just proved my point about a man overreacting when someone, especially someone with a vagina doesn't see things their way.

And by the way, men of today are nothing like men of yore. You're probably a little younger than my father and I can tell you that he would never be caught dead doing half the shit guys today are so proud of themselves for doing.

Walk around a college campus for an hour and come back and tell me how the guys are acting. I guarantee you'll shit yourself with shock and sadness, because MANY are seriously are having a private affair with their awesome-ass selves. It's not a chip on my shoulder, it's the power of observation.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Let's not get started on this "walk around a college campus" bullshit. Women today are just as bad as men in their own ways; Take a look at Paris Hilton, Kim Kardashian, 95% of all Sorority members, and Tigerlilly. I've never met a man who had a problem with a woman disagreeing with them. I'm sure men will stop having a love affair with their "awesome-ass selves" as soon as women stop pretending that they are "princesses" and that they deserve to be spoiled.

So, why don't YOU dial back the attitude, twat.

Submitted by EmissionImpossible at 2009-04-08 13:57:56 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2009-04-08 18:02:48 BST (#)
Ranking: 1

Submitted by Cyrus (user info) at 2009-04-08 12:38:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2009-04-08 12:28:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

This was just ok for me, but have a +1. Men don't like hearing that they aren't all fucking awesome, interesting, wild studs with gigantic cocks that women would do anything to bang. If a guy wrote this, they would probably have the same rating you do, but only because they didn't end up fucking her.

The bottom line is that people don't like honesty, especially when it's coming from the opposite sex. You might try being honest with these guys too - it's really shameful to lie and say you want to talk/see them again if you don't. Look at it this way - you'll be a fucking bitch either way, so you might as well exit with a shred of class.
-------------------------------------------------
That's complete horseshit.

You sound like somebody with a chip on their shoulder. Not all men think they're the shit.

I've been married for 25 years so I'm relying on memory, but as I recall if a girl didn't want to go out with me I didn't thnk she was a bitch, and if she didn;t want to go out with me again I didn't think she was a bitch.

-------------------------------

Why don't you dial back the fucking attitude, asshole? You just proved my point about a man overreacting when someone, especially someone with a vagina doesn't see things their way.

And by the way, men of today are nothing like men of yore. You're probably a little younger than my father and I can tell you that he would never be caught dead doing half the shit guys today are so proud of themselves for doing.

Walk around a college campus for an hour and come back and tell me how the guys are acting. I guarantee you'll shit yourself with shock and sadness, because MANY are seriously are having a private affair with their awesome-ass selves. It's not a chip on my shoulder, it's the power of observation.
-------------

It's also a huge generalisation.

Submitted by Sage at 2009-04-08 13:26:39 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Heh.

Yes, everyone, I'm JUST NOW learning all of this. Fuck's sake. I knew this...tis why I'm a rather closeted misanthrope. Doesn't make me any less sick of the fact.

Submitted by St_Jimmy at 2009-04-08 13:20:58 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2009-04-08 13:09:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

And Pent, FUCK class. Half the guys I've met since my ex dont know how to spell the word, much less ACT the part. Why do you think books/movies like "He's Just Not That Into You" exploded with success? I don't owe these motherfuckers a goddamned thing.

______________________

Then why do you date them? (By the way, movies like "He's Just Not That Into You" do well because most people like terrible movies. How else do you explain the success, nay the existance of Big Momma's House 2?) At any rate, it seems to me like you're learning that most people are pretty awful and most people attempt to cover that up (in front of strangers) using similar, predictable acts. That's just the way things are.

There are some good people out there, but most of them are crap. That's life.

Submitted by Sage at 2009-04-08 13:09:06 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

And Pent, FUCK class. Half the guys I've met since my ex dont know how to spell the word, much less ACT the part. Why do you think books/movies like "He's Just Not That Into You" exploded with success? I don't owe these motherfuckers a goddamned thing.

Submitted by Sage at 2009-04-08 13:03:08 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Actually Cyrus, I love Italian restaurants. It's not that they're not good enough for me. Its just that it's all very predictable. And when something is THAT predictable I can typically deduce that the rest of the date is going to be predictable and that the DUDE is predictable and I am done with predictable.

Call me a bitch, a weasel, and a liar all you want. You're wrong on ALL counts.

Submitted by Pentameter at 2009-04-08 13:02:48 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

Submitted by Cyrus (user info) at 2009-04-08 12:38:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2009-04-08 12:28:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

This was just ok for me, but have a +1. Men don't like hearing that they aren't all fucking awesome, interesting, wild studs with gigantic cocks that women would do anything to bang. If a guy wrote this, they would probably have the same rating you do, but only because they didn't end up fucking her.

The bottom line is that people don't like honesty, especially when it's coming from the opposite sex. You might try being honest with these guys too - it's really shameful to lie and say you want to talk/see them again if you don't. Look at it this way - you'll be a fucking bitch either way, so you might as well exit with a shred of class.
-------------------------------------------------
That's complete horseshit.

You sound like somebody with a chip on their shoulder. Not all men think they're the shit.

I've been married for 25 years so I'm relying on memory, but as I recall if a girl didn't want to go out with me I didn't thnk she was a bitch, and if she didn;t want to go out with me again I didn't think she was a bitch.

-------------------------------

Why don't you dial back the fucking attitude, asshole? You just proved my point about a man overreacting when someone, especially someone with a vagina doesn't see things their way.

And by the way, men of today are nothing like men of yore. You're probably a little younger than my father and I can tell you that he would never be caught dead doing half the shit guys today are so proud of themselves for doing.

Walk around a college campus for an hour and come back and tell me how the guys are acting. I guarantee you'll shit yourself with shock and sadness, because MANY are seriously are having a private affair with their awesome-ass selves. It's not a chip on my shoulder, it's the power of observation.

Submitted by Ducky at 2009-04-08 12:45:38 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

+2 for inspiring some very funny posts.

Submitted by Cyrus at 2009-04-08 12:38:12 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2009-04-08 12:28:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

This was just ok for me, but have a +1. Men don't like hearing that they aren't all fucking awesome, interesting, wild studs with gigantic cocks that women would do anything to bang. If a guy wrote this, they would probably have the same rating you do, but only because they didn't end up fucking her.

The bottom line is that people don't like honesty, especially when it's coming from the opposite sex. You might try being honest with these guys too - it's really shameful to lie and say you want to talk/see them again if you don't. Look at it this way - you'll be a fucking bitch either way, so you might as well exit with a shred of class.
-------------------------------------------------
That's complete horseshit.

You sound like somebody with a chip on their shoulder. Not all men think they're the shit.

I've been married for 25 years so I'm relying on memory, but as I recall if a girl didn't want to go out with me I didn't thnk she was a bitch, and if she didn;t want to go out with me again I didn't think she was a bitch.

Sage is a bitch for many legitimate reasons including the fact that Italian restaurants aren't good enought for her on a first date and because she's a weasel and a liar.

Submitted by Pentameter at 2009-04-08 12:31:10 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

As far as criticism - this would be much more interesting if you wrote the scene instead of summarizing everything. You tell us everything that happens when you could illustrate what happened for us - for example "We keep having meaningless conversation. Sometimes I'm amused, but mostly I'm not."

It doesn't mean anything. Showing us would make this exponentially better.

Submitted by Pentameter at 2009-04-08 12:28:26 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

This was just ok for me, but have a +1. Men don't like hearing that they aren't all fucking awesome, interesting, wild studs with gigantic cocks that women would do anything to bang. If a guy wrote this, they would probably have the same rating you do, but only because they didn't end up fucking her.

The bottom line is that people don't like honesty, especially when it's coming from the opposite sex. You might try being honest with these guys too - it's really shameful to lie and say you want to talk/see them again if you don't. Look at it this way - you'll be a fucking bitch either way, so you might as well exit with a shred of class.

Submitted by Ducky at 2009-04-08 12:27:45 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2009-04-08 07:03:28 PDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Oh, and as for the old woman, Ducky...there were people around her. If I HAD tried to help her up I would have looked like an out of place, trying-too-hard good Samaritan. The hostess, her daughter and several others were already tending to her and I didn't want to get in the way. Add alcohol (and my subsequent tipsiness) to the mix and that's where the gawking and avoiding the situation comes in.

________________

Fair enough :)

Submitted by Cyrus at 2009-04-08 12:06:19 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

So... You're a real bitch.

That was the point of this?

Submitted by FALLEN at 2009-04-08 12:00:19 EDT (#)
Rating: 2


Submitted by Merlina at 2009-04-08 11:49:59 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

I think its hard to give constructive critisism as its written rather well.

If it was a made up story, great - but its the reality of the bitterness and shallow air of the actual story that gives me a bit of a bad feeling and made me wrinkle my nose.

As I say though - well written.

Submitted by HeyJude at 2009-04-08 10:24:10 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

How the fuck did I do that below?!

Submitted by HeyJude at 2009-04-08 10:23:15 EDT (#)
Rating: 2


Submitted by inion_de_trua at 2009-04-08 10:20:35 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

get well soon.

Submitted by Sage at 2009-04-08 10:12:14 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Sounds good Sico...I say you post it under your Sicosemen account, and I haven't even read it yet.

And everyone, Sico is right. The "You're not him." in this should have *actually* read "You're not Sico."

;)


(Joke, for anyone on uber too idiotic to initially believe the above)

Submitted by Sage at 2009-04-08 10:03:28 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Oh, and as for the old woman, Ducky...there were people around her. If I HAD tried to help her up I would have looked like an out of place, trying-too-hard good Samaritan. The hostess, her daughter and several others were already tending to her and I didn't want to get in the way. Add alcohol (and my subsequent tipsiness) to the mix and that's where the gawking and avoiding the situation comes in.


Submitted by S.I. Co. at 2009-04-08 10:01:33 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Also, I'll be sending something over for an edit later or tomorrow. Not sure which account to post it under yet though.

Submitted by Dervel at 2009-04-08 10:01:32 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2009-04-08 09:41:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

what the fuck is your first language? It sure as hell isn't english.

Douche nozzle.

---

He says, moments before adding an insult in French.

This was incredibly dull.

Submitted by S.I. Co. at 2009-04-08 10:01:03 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Just fucking say it already. He wasn't me. God, was that so hard?

Submitted by Sage at 2009-04-08 09:58:53 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Oh good Christ.

Ok, so I got a lot of shit for this...really, I knew I would.

Look. I was in a bitter mood writing it. My guy friends really are good people and my roommate, for one, has talked to me about the different qualities of girls he wants to date, etc. I know, Saccy, that they aren't being assholes, and I know, Sico, that you guys DO the whole "front in front of other guys" shpeel. I get it.

THIS date obviously went well, or else homie wouldn't have called me, would he? Maybe he DID only see me as a piece, and I considered that possibility. Hence ONE of the reasons I didn't answer his call. The other reason was because I truly couldn't see myself hanging out with him...couldn't see myself being so attracted to him that I would want to sleep with him, etc. He was a good, nice guy, but he wasn't IT.

Nimh put it well when they said that dates are hit/miss and that most of them are miss. That was this date, and that IS most of my dates. I dont want to waste anyone's time.

And for you that don't kiss on the first date and that dont tell people to call you when you dont mean it, good for fucking you man. Keep on. Obviously, we're different. Don't chastise ME for NOT being you, or for not ACTING like you, ffs.


NOW.


Corn gave me some good advice about how it was written...I didn't exactly convey my *whole* message in what I wrote here, did I? What else was wrong with the writing itself...constructive criticism anyone? Bueller? (That reminds me...Ben Stein is giving the commencement address @ LU this year...hmmm.)




Submitted by SgtHartman at 2009-04-08 09:41:54 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by MajulCartoons (user info) at 2009-04-08 09:12:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

i would dread to imagine how horrible sex with you must be
=======================
what the fuck is your first language? It sure as hell isn't english.

Douche nozzle.

Submitted by MajulCartoons at 2009-04-08 09:12:08 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

ergh... i was as bored with this story as you must have been on that pointless date

i would dread to imagine how horrible sex with you must be

...the story is quite clear, yet tediously nauseating...

slightly original, uncreative, transparent, utterly pointless

seems like a fragment thought from a boring inner-monologue of an ordinary person

Submitted by S.I. Co. at 2009-04-08 08:17:13 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Joke below, for all the uber people who don't know better.

Submitted by S.I. Co. at 2009-04-08 08:16:49 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Also, sorry for rejecting you :)

Submitted by S.I. Co. at 2009-04-08 08:16:14 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Perhaps it is you who is boring. Did you read this post? Maybe all the guy saw in you was a piece and could sit through you boring him for this date so he could hit. Did you ever think that you could possibly be the boring aspect of this date? Of course not, it's not your fault that ALL of your dates go awry. Not possible. Maybe you should pick apart what's wrong with you instead of blaming the other party right away. It's like you make one rash, snap judgment and that's all you care to see.

As for why all your friends talk the way they do I'm gonna throw a hearty IT'S BECAUSE WE'RE ALL GUYS. When there is another female in the room that isn't one of our girlfriends do you hear us talk like that? It's because we are in the comfort of our friends (ALL GUYS, MIND YOU) that we do that. It's called guy talk. If you don't want to hear guy talk then don't hang out with ALL GUYS. Get this, when it's just two of us (GUYS) talking we actually talk about whether or not she's a good girl, if she is smart, is crazy, or worth dating, etc. It's the front we have in the faces of our GUY FRIENDS that we put on a show. Of course you are too boring to see this or too hung up on yourself to notice that there's a world going on around you, with or without your concern, whether you like it or not, and will continue to go on long after you're not noticed.

Brutal honesty, but from a friend nonetheless.

Wake up and douche, Sage. You've got a lot of naivety to get over.

Submitted by Ducky at 2009-04-08 07:59:12 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

That sounded pompous sage. I'm sorry. I understand the 'you're not him' thing...I do. There are just better and less hurtful ways to go about doing things.

Submitted by SgtHartman at 2009-04-08 07:53:49 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2009-04-08 05:15:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

No Comment

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-04-08 05:14:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

No Comment
========================
Birds of a feather above.

Sage dont sweat it, you're neurotic just like every other chick I know.

Submitted by Ducky at 2009-04-08 07:50:31 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

I would have helped the elderly woman up. I would have smiled a bit in the washroom thinking 'that's going to be me one day' - because I guarantee it will...it'll be you too, and I wouldn't have been coy at all - I wouldn't have told him to call unless I'd meant it. I can understand that you may not have wanted any sort of face-to-face confrontation, but don't underestimate the respect garnered through polite honesty.

Submitted by corn nugget at 2009-04-08 07:16:37 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Oooh EI is right. He's smart.

Submitted by EmissionImpossible at 2009-04-08 06:45:23 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2009-04-07 17:15:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Ok ok ok.

Let me just say that I really fucking hate dating. Most guys I meet bore the ever loving SHIT out of me and most of them are cocky, self-satisfied business types that have NO edge whatsoever and make all the decisions without bothering to ask what I want to do.

This is why I like to date the more transient, rough-around-the-edges types. It's as if my level of interest is directly proportional to how difficult to find these guys are.

The dude depicted above is a fucking dime a dozen.
===============
oh dear, where to start. You dig your hole deeper and deeper.

If you hate dating then dont date, its simple. You meet guys without dating.

Most guys you meet bore the living shit outta you, firstly they are probably in a similar work field to you. Now, seeing you yourself are a cocky person ( you are) you will attract similar people. Less cocky people will see you as intimidating, cocky, self satisfied and boring. Just how you see these guys. If you want different guys, you are the one who has to change and then you will stop attracting them or start attracting the guys you want.

If like you say you prefer rough and ready guys then do it, these guys arent hard to find, you are just looking in the wrong places. Look a tad closer to home at yourself.

Submitted by F.J.Bell at 2009-04-08 05:15:02 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by orphelia at 2009-04-08 05:14:41 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by Bubba2341 at 2009-04-08 01:43:04 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2009-04-07 17:15:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Ok ok ok.

Let me just say that I really fucking hate dating. Most guys I meet bore the ever loving SHIT out of me and most of them are cocky, self-satisfied business types that have NO edge whatsoever and make all the decisions without bothering to ask what I want to do.

This is why I like to date the more transient, rough-around-the-edges types. It's as if my level of interest is directly proportional to how difficult to find these guys are.

The dude depicted above is a fucking dime a dozen.
===============
More transient? You stupid cunt, you want the piece of shit who will slap you around, maybe kill you. What's wrong with a NICE guy? If you want steak instead of Italian, TELL HIM SO!!!

Jesus, stupid women like you are why the word cunt was coined.

Submitted by Sacrilicious at 2009-04-08 01:05:04 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2009-04-08 00:57:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Saccy, what's your email? I'd like to send you a picture of my new puppy. Sorry the Phillies suck this year.

I got a new puppy.
===
Hey, didn't the Phils start out weak last year and then go on to win the World Series hmmmm? It's still early! Though, my chances of getting to games this year are probably much slimmer. Sigh.

eeeeee! puppy!

sacrilicious.at.comcast.net

I'm going to bed soon, but send send, I wanna see.

Submitted by lungfish at 2009-04-08 00:57:13 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Yeah. Quit hanging with yuppie scum. Get another dog, like I did.

I don't really care what you do. I just wanted to say I got another dog.

I got a puppy.

Saccy, what's your email? I'd like to send you a picture of my new puppy. Sorry the Phillies suck this year.

I got a new puppy.

Submitted by Sacrilicious at 2009-04-08 00:40:17 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

These are GOOD GUYS that I hang out with...they are business types and they all have CAREERS and they're responsible and loyal to their friends, etc. Any girl would be lucky to date ANY of them, but I HEAR WHAT THEY TALK ABOUT. And it is HORRIBLE.
===
Is it possible that you're mistaking some good qualities for others here? A person can have a good job and be a loyal friend and still be a misogynist pig and a bad boyfriend. I understand you want to defend your friends, but that's different from believing that their behavior is indicative of how most men talk and act. Because like Cornnugget, the majority of my male friends, and I have many, would never talk that way about women in general. In fact, they don't want to be around guys that think like neanderthals that way, either. Sure I have one or two less sensitive friends (strangely, the two who come to mind are two of the most intelligent guys I know) who are loyal as hell to me but talk shit about women or don't make good boyfriends, but the majority are respectful and not shallow like that. Be loyal to them if you must, but if it's at the expense of hearing women get objectified and degraded every day to the point that is DISGUSTS you and convinces you that's how the average man thinks, then perhaps it's time you decide which is more important- your friends' respect for YOU, or your loyalty to them.

Submitted by TuTs at 2009-04-07 23:01:24 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

You need to stop eating your nails. You should stop dating if you feel like this. Get a hobby or see a therapist, until you are okay with you and have stopped hating your ex. Not all men are like your friends, but they are usually the ones who have no sex drive or secret deviant depths.

Lungfish's head is like that from one puppy? haha I have six and two kids. I have no internal dialogue.

Submitted by RoadSong at 2009-04-07 22:47:46 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

"A lot of the negativity and cold-heartedness displayed here in my writing is a direct product of how I felt after breaking up with my ex. When you are still hung up on someone you feel that it is pointless to date other people because you're just plain not over that person and part of you wants nothing more than to just be with that person. You feel like you are wasting your time, and your date's, and in my case, I was extremely bitter. That's what you're reading here, folks."
~~~~~~~
"I see" said the blind girl.
Good love went bad for you. Bummer.
Boyfriends are like busses, stand there long enough and another one always comes along.

I DO NOT SOUND BITTER!
Well, maybe a little.
heh




Submitted by SkullBiter at 2009-04-07 21:14:33 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Yeah, but its no fun to find someone to spoon with AND HAVE THEM VOMIT ON YOU.

Dont get me wrong, I dig sex and think about it about as much as breathing, but for fuck sakes.

Submitted by Sage at 2009-04-07 21:06:21 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Skull...guess they're perfect for one another then. Getting completely wasted and finding a new cutty-buddy are high on the list of most of the guys I know.

Corn...at the end of the day, I love these guys. They really ARE good people. They are loyal as hell to their friends and they suck just as bad at relationships as the rest of us. They toughen me up and I'm like a sister to them. They're very protective of me and I love and appreciate them all too much to just ditch 'em. They're like family at this point--sometimes you're disappointed in what they say/do but I'm fiercely loyal to my people regardless.

Submitted by lungfish at 2009-04-07 21:01:40 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

I got a new puppy. My internal dialog usually goes something more like this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Uvt83YWWWY

Submitted by corn nugget at 2009-04-07 20:55:55 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Sage, you need new roomates/friends, if that's what you're hearing. I KNOW some guys are like that, but not *all* guys are. My friends never ever ever talk that way. Well, one of them talks that way, and then he'll look over at me and say, "I'm disgusting, huh". Well yeah. You are.

You're right about early dating SUCKING bad. It is all the same. It's not until a few months later that all the bullshit drops away and you're face to face with the demon that you've been considering letting in your life.

So, with your commentary, this post was good. If you could have tied all this stuff into the writing it would have been awesome.

You're really a good writer, you're very observant and self aware. To me, THAT is what makes a good writer. Someone that's aware of the subtle nuances.

Spelling is unimportant! lol

Submitted by SkullBiter at 2009-04-07 20:54:54 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Well, now that is out of the way seriously? I just got out of a year long relationship and i'm terrified.

To put it short I'm a freak. All the girls that I know that are my age are into.

1. Getting drunk.
2. Being complete fucking slores.
3. Dating the aforementioned people below.

Submitted by Sage at 2009-04-07 20:53:42 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

I had a dog, lungy. My ex gave it to some "friends" when he moved to WA and they gave her away. It fucking KILLED me when I found out...she was so sweet.

I have Henry, anyway. He's perfect.

Submitted by SkullBiter at 2009-04-07 20:52:15 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Tits or GTFO

Submitted by Sage at 2009-04-07 20:51:00 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

I can't argue with the fact that I come across as arrogant in this post. It's not really what I was trying to convey...what I am trying to demonstrate is more the fact that EARLY dating is so formulaic it is disgusting. All you have to do is be and look a certain way and you can get a fucking date. No one gives a fuck what's on the inside. All people care about at the end of the day is themselves.

My roommate is a guy and all of his friends are guys and I hear what the fuck they talk about all the time. Pussy this, fuck look at those tits, vagina, pussy fucking cunt slut whore let me fuck this bitch etc.

It is DISGUSTING. It really makes me not ever want to date, EVER. These are GOOD GUYS that I hang out with...they are business types and they all have CAREERS and they're responsible and loyal to their friends, etc. Any girl would be lucky to date ANY of them, but I HEAR WHAT THEY TALK ABOUT. And it is HORRIBLE. Extremely disheartening, makes me not even want to try. All they care about is tits and ass and young girls and appearances. Fuck an education, fuck a brain...fuck a kind spirit. No one gives a fuck. Its all claptrap and poppycock.

Submitted by lungfish at 2009-04-07 20:49:44 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Get a dog, sage.

My inner dialog over the last minute:

My nose itches. I have an errant nose hair. Should I pluck it? If I do, it'll make me sneeze and I'll probably throw my back out. Fucking nose hair. I wonder why I crap in the afternoons now, instead of the mornings. I miss my morning craps. Coffee and a crap. NPR. My nose itches. Fucking nose hair. I need a cigarette.

Submitted by Sacrilicious at 2009-04-07 20:45:50 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2009-04-07 20:42:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

When it comes down to it, our inner dialogues are all disgusting.
===
You're probably right.

Submitted by corn nugget at 2009-04-07 20:44:31 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

http://www.ubersite.com/m/56262

That's my post about a bad date. ugh it's horrible.

Submitted by corn nugget at 2009-04-07 20:42:21 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Sage, fair enough... I think you needed to add *more* in your post about it besides three words at the end. Maybe "You suggest italian, but he would have wanted sushi" or some other comparisons.

But that's just me.

I can't really fault you for this post, though. If I wrote a post like this it'd be more like, "He asked for my number, and I quickly checked my hair" and such. It'd be littered with insecurity on my part. Because that's how I roll.

The reason I think you're getting bashed is the fact that you come across as SO arrogant.

I'd come across as SO insecure.

When it comes down to it, our inner dialogues are all disgusting.

Submitted by Sage at 2009-04-07 20:38:09 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Fuck, you COULD say that the other party in this date is dating itself.

Submitted by GodChicken at 2009-04-07 20:37:52 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

I wrote the male version of this a long time ago.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/48775

Submitted by Sage at 2009-04-07 20:37:17 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

And it's not just my ex. Its him, its my other ex boyfriends, ex fuck buddies, ex one night stands, etc. Its ALL of it. I'm sick of it.

Submitted by Sage at 2009-04-07 20:36:19 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

The "you're not him" is the clincher, Corn.

Submitted by GodChicken at 2009-04-07 20:36:14 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

certain people affect us like an addiction / withdrawl.

Been there, done that. It will eventually fade away but it leaves a dull ache, like a pulled tooth, for a long time after.

I suggest you make anyone interested enough to try, get creative.

people feel safe by suggesting a dinner date, it's routine and universally socially acceptable.

It also falls right into the same set of expectations and bland bullshit that you're tired of.

Next time someone suggests a dinner date & movie sorta thing, respond with "I don't do dinner. Think of something else and call me."

The one that calls back with something that interests you has already passed at least one test.






Submitted by Sage at 2009-04-07 20:34:51 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

http://www.ubersite.com/m/117995
http://www.ubersite.com/m/118056
http://www.ubersite.com/m/118351
http://www.ubersite.com/m/118925
http://www.ubersite.com/m/119481

*****************
A lot of the above is somewhat abstract and you might not like it all...a lot of it admittedly reads like some emo teenage bullshit but I really dont give a fuck.

Submitted by corn nugget at 2009-04-07 20:31:49 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

You can't fairly say we've missed the point when all we did was read what you wrote and formed opinions based on that. If your point was how jaded your ex has made you, you'd need to include THAT FACT in your post.

Submitted by Sage at 2009-04-07 20:23:12 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

A lot of this is exaggerated. On this date I did enjoy myself to an extent. I did listen to the guy and learned a lot about him...he is in a band (plays guitar), is successful at his job at Capital One, loves traveling, has season tickets to the Redskins, etc. I did enjoy spending time with him. But I think a lot of you missed the entire point.

A lot of the negativity and cold-heartedness displayed here in my writing is a direct product of how I felt after breaking up with my ex. When you are still hung up on someone you feel that it is pointless to date other people because you're just plain not over that person and part of you wants nothing more than to just be with that person. You feel like you are wasting your time, and your date's, and in my case, I was extremely bitter. That's what you're reading here, folks.

I am jaded as fuck when it comes to dating. I dont know if I ever want to do it again. I've been in and out of love and I give up on it and I HATE dating. I am bored with it...bored with the routine-ness of it. Read some of my earlier posts...they display a lot of the sadness that comes BEFORE the bitterness after breaking up with someone.

Right now I'm still bitter, really. Not because of my ex...but because of the scumbags I've met/dated/slept with/been hurt by SINCE my ex. It makes me not want to date EVER again and to just sit at home with my cat and my flowers because everything about dating seems pointless. Its going to end. Feelings change. I'm very distressed by what I've been through with love...the illogicalness of it all and being rejected has been tough.

Ok so this was a typical Sage long ass review. It could have been its own post for fuck's sake. But someone give me a reason to believe anything other than what I believe, seriously! I feel that in life, love is the only thing that I've failed at...and all because it has failed me.

Submitted by skrapmetal at 2009-04-07 20:06:28 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

The last first date I ever went on I made dinner at my place for the lovely lady, and we went out to a movie and then a blues bar after that. I've been married to her for almost 18 years now.

Submitted by Snark at 2009-04-07 19:16:31 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

If you are the guy in that suit, I sincerely apologize and bow before your chicken awesomeness.

Submitted by Quint at 2009-04-07 19:15:03 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

You should have written "I am bored" on one of your teeth. There would have been more room.

Submitted by GodChicken at 2009-04-07 19:06:58 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Type: Sandwich.

Submitted by GodChicken at 2009-04-07 19:04:09 EDT (#)
Rating: 2


Submitted by Snark at 2009-04-07 18:40:30 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2009-04-07 18:36:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

*cry*

I see how you feel about me, now.

--------------------

No shit man. Imagine her disappointment upon find out that you are neither a God or a Chicken, or even a god of chickens. Your problem wasn't a lack of chemistry, it was false advertising on your part.

Expectations were set. Expectations that YOU failed to fulfill.





Submitted by GodChicken at 2009-04-07 18:36:18 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

*cry*

I see how you feel about me, now.


Submitted by LittleMonster at 2009-04-07 18:24:28 EDT (#)
Rating: -1

This is ugly (the fact that it wasn't badly written is why you get -1). I expect you are just going for shock here, but in reality I hope this is fiction because I feel embarrased for you if you wrote this from the heart.

I do not enjoy even reading about such a vacuous human being, let alone contemplating that they could be real.

Submitted by HellRazer at 2009-04-07 18:15:16 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

Some say I'm robbing the cradle, I say she's robbing the grave.

-Prof. Farnesworth on his new GF

Submitted by secret_of_nimh at 2009-04-07 17:54:53 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2009-04-07 17:49:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

Also, there would be a roll of quarters in your ass.

---

bahahaha

Submitted by Sacrilicious at 2009-04-07 17:52:57 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

I know it's sometimes hard to part ways without saying something kind even when you don't mean it. But if I decided on the first date that I didn't like a guy, I would do my best not to let him touch me with his lips. Gross. It sure shouldn't be taken for granted you would on a first date, so you should be able to get away without it.

Also, if this is exaggerated half-fictional, I get that. But if not, some of what seems to be going on inside your head surprises me a bit, since you've mentioned time and time again how nice of a person you are and how you don't like to be mean. Your behavior may not have been outwardly mean to the guy, but you definitely sounded like you felt mean-spirited toward him for what sounds like no fault of his own, and I don't know which is worse.

Submitted by Snark at 2009-04-07 17:49:06 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

Also, there would be a roll of quarters in your ass.

Submitted by Snark at 2009-04-07 17:48:05 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

If it were a date with me, you would wake up the next day with a wicked hangover and a missing spleen... or kidney, depending on consumer demand and current market prices, and you would STILL consider it a raging success.


Submitted by rob_berg at 2009-04-07 17:46:03 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2009-04-07 17:23:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Submitted by RoadSong (user info) at 2009-04-07 17:07:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

Yes, why tell someone to call when you don't want to talk to them ever again?
~It's an easy parting salutation.

---

So is "See ya".



You say you had a great time, kiss the guy, and tell him to call you - and then ignore him?

I can see why you hate dating... you kinda suck at it.

Submitted by Snark at 2009-04-07 17:44:44 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

WTF!

I thought this was going to be about fatty acids.




Submitted by corn nugget at 2009-04-07 17:39:31 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Or maybe not the "fake" sage, but the sage that I had built up in my mind.

Submitted by no1hasdis at 2009-04-07 17:39:19 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

"You ask me if I want to go meet you for dinner at an Italian restaurant. Ugh. It's always Italian. I have no fucking clue why everyone wants to eat at fucking Italian restaurants all the time on dates. Buy me a god damned steak, or take me to somewhere different and more obscure...take me to eat pho or Indian or Ethiopian food, for fuck's sake. "


I was getting my -2 all readied up, but then I read this and it saved you. What the fuck is up with that indeed.

Submitted by corn nugget at 2009-04-07 17:39:06 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Ugh... It's well writen, I mean, I read it. But it's a horrible glimpse inside of you. I liked the fake Sage better.

Submitted by Sage at 2009-04-07 17:23:47 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by RoadSong (user info) at 2009-04-07 17:07:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

Yes, why tell someone to call when you don't want to talk to them ever again?
~It's an easy parting salutation.

"I hate the sound of old women peeing. It makes me nauseous...the gushing sound of piss flowing mercilessly out of their worn the fuck out vaginas. Ugh."
Please get a mirror and look at your vagina. You may notice that pee does not come from this exact location.
~I'm aware that it comes from the urethra. That doesn't change the fact that the urethra is located on/around the vagina. Also, it doesn't change the fact that the sound of women peeing is nauseating, IMHO.

I am impressed that you say you always pay for your own meal on first dates. Good way to go methinks.
~Yes, I always* pay for myself on first dates because I dont like the idea of someone feeling obligated to pay just because they asked me out. Healthy relationships are 50/50 per my Grandmother.



*Assuming the person doesn't argue with me. I'm not going to make a scene arguing about who gets the check. Oftentimes I tell the waitress to do it separately or I'll split the total. Actually now that I think about it I paid for half on this particular date. I think he told the waitress to put it all on one check at first but I insisted and he didn't fight me too much on it.

Submitted by sandmantate at 2009-04-07 17:22:36 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2009-04-07 17:15:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Ok ok ok.

Let me just say that I really fucking hate dating. Most guys I meet bore the ever loving SHIT out of me and most of them are cocky, self-satisfied business types that have NO edge whatsoever and make all the decisions without bothering to ask what I want to do.

This is why I like to date the more transient, rough-around-the-edges types. It's as if my level of interest is directly proportional to how difficult to find these guys are.

The dude depicted above is a fucking dime a dozen.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Maybe he isn't. His exterior is bland, but how hard did you try to get to know him? Did you go through his music collection? Did you search his book shelfs? Did you know that when he was a kid, he had bad asthma and had to be indoors alot, but because of that he got to spend a lot of time with his grandpa and now has a passion for restoring old motorcycles?

Maybe this dude is completely vanilla, but maybe you didn't give him a chance and he is actually pretty awesome and funny and cultered. You made a snap judgement. You are basing your idea of fun as some sort of rough around the edges persona that is easily faked by almost everybody. It's dissapointing, and it makes people make snap judgements about you. Judgements that you would not hesitate to decry as unfair and shallow.

Submitted by forensicgirl3 at 2009-04-07 17:19:39 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

"This is why I like to date the more transient, rough-around-the-edges types."

=====

Really? Hahahaha would you like me to introduce you to a few biker types when you come through here in October?

Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe at 2009-04-07 17:16:06 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

the protagonist sounds like an annoying wench.

Submitted by Sage at 2009-04-07 17:15:37 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Ok ok ok.

Let me just say that I really fucking hate dating. Most guys I meet bore the ever loving SHIT out of me and most of them are cocky, self-satisfied business types that have NO edge whatsoever and make all the decisions without bothering to ask what I want to do.

This is why I like to date the more transient, rough-around-the-edges types. It's as if my level of interest is directly proportional to how difficult to find these guys are.

The dude depicted above is a fucking dime a dozen.

Submitted by RoadSong at 2009-04-07 17:07:49 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

Yes, why tell someone to call when you don't want to talk to them ever again?

"I hate the sound of old women peeing. It makes me nauseous...the gushing sound of piss flowing mercilessly out of their worn the fuck out vaginas. Ugh."
Please get a mirror and look at your vagina. You may notice that pee does not come from this exact location.

I am impressed that you say you always pay for your own meal on first dates. Good way to go methinks.

Submitted by Sphagnum at 2009-04-07 17:06:13 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

At least you're not going to die a virgin, whoreface

Submitted by secret_of_nimh at 2009-04-07 17:05:37 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

i like your style - i think it's a problem with people in general these days, is that everyone is so desperate to be liked. i'm not saying everyone is like this, but usually going on a date with someone you don't know is extremely hit-and-miss... most of the time it's a miss. the dude in this story was probably surprised he actually got a date with you - i'm a firm believer in the fact that some people just shouldn't date. there has to be some emotional detachment or else you'll just end up getting hurt every time.

ever had afghani? it grabs ethiopian and indian by the balls.

Submitted by sandmantate at 2009-04-07 17:03:29 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Oh Sage, this doesn't paint you in a very good light. The fact that you aren't camping on this post kind of indicates that this isn't fiction.

Also, Ethiopians don't have food, so you can't go out Ethiopian food, you heartless bitch!

Submitted by Shlongy at 2009-04-07 16:43:35 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

1) I'm SURE this is autobiographical
b) You are way too much work
3) Get over yourself.


AND HAVE A NICE DAY...ALONE!

Submitted by EmissionImpossible at 2009-04-07 16:41:16 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

typical female, why does it matter where you go on your first date? 'ugh not an italian restaurant' but ethiopian?? food snob are we?

Submitted by rob_berg at 2009-04-07 16:39:39 EDT (#)
Rating: 2


If a girl wants to go for something 'exciting' for a first date - they should fucking suggest it.

That makes THEM immediately far more interesting, opens up an honest dialogue and creates the opportunity for a date that both people will enjoy.

This passive aggressive dating style is why people remain single and unhappy.



Very well written... and as much as I would like to think this is fiction - I'm guessing its rather autobiographical and FAR too typical.

Submitted by Yozz at 2009-04-07 16:37:45 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

Does Sico know how you feel?

Submitted by redskieslookfake at 2009-04-07 16:24:26 EDT (#)
Rating: -1

why the FUCK would you say 'call me' if you didn't want to talk to them?




Submitted by inion_de_trua at 2009-04-07 16:23:28 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

not really one for giving the benefit of the doubt are you? ouch.

Submitted by SkullBiter at 2009-04-07 16:21:58 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I fucking hate that band.

Submitted by PlatinumScarecrow at 2009-04-07 16:18:03 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Typical Female. meh


Anyway, we'd like to thank you for the occasional moments of peace and
love our family's experienced ... well, not today. You saw what
happened. Oh, Lord, be honest. Are we the most pathetic family in
the universe, or what?

-- Homer Simpson
Bart vs. Thanksgiving