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Dear Sico

Submitted by Sage at 2009-04-27 14:08:11 EDT
Rating: -0.06 on 106 ratings (107 reviews) (Review this item) (V)

In Re: http://www.ubersite.com/m/121762


Dear Sico,

While beejing my beloved is a) something I’m exceptionally good at and b) one of my favorite pastimes, I must first and foremost state with absolute resolution and no hesitation whatsoever that I am not at all (not even remotely) interested in giving you head.

You seem to be confused about this which has led to my subsequent confusion, because as you stated in your original letter, our friendship is “more than [you] just trying to get [your] dick sucked”. In this instance, you blamed “it on the a-a-a-a-a-alcohol” and the copious amount of weed you smoked, apologized, and I was kind, understanding and forgiving, as per usual. I should point out that you have ample opportunities to be the recipient of a (possibly) good blow-j (albeit not as stellar as mine, pity) from many other women, so your perpetual insistence that I blow you is not only directly contrary to the above sentiment, it is a fruitless waste of your time and mine.

Further, and to avoid any auxiliary confusion on your part, I will not give you a dutch rudder, hand-job, or the like, and I will not ever permit you to release one of your infamous batches on my person or my effects.

Things I WILL do for you:

-Cook you some yummy food from time to time
-Clean up after myself (and others, when the mood strikes me) at your house
-Crash at your house like I did last night (sidebar: thanks for not jerking off on my face and ALSO thanks for heeding my warning that I grind my teeth while I sleep and not putting your penis in my mouth while I was sleeping)
-Fish with you (or rather, fail at casting and watch YOU catch fish and take pictures of whatever you catch)
-Golf with you, if you’re interested and I become good enough
-Give you rides/take care of you when you’re drunk
-Smoke weed with you
-Get you Blizzards when you make really yummy meals (ham was fucking AMAZING)
-Tell you your hair looks nice after you get it cut
-Tell you I like your shirts
-Laugh when you fart or make poop jokes
-Buy you a hanging plant for your room on your birthday
-Plant sunflowers and vegetables at your house this summer
-Turn on a porno video for you any time you’re tempted to ask me to swallow your penis
-Not cock block you or talk too much
-Know my role

…among other friendly things NOT involving sexual activities involving our no-zones.

It is with the utmost respect that I humbly and kindly ask you to refrain from ever asking me (or suggesting that I am asking you) to suck your dick.

This should be sufficient in clearing up any sort of misunderstanding on your part and mitigate my ensuing bemusement. If you have any questions/comments, please deposit them below.

Friends forever,

<3 Sage

xoxo

PS: I was going to attach a picture of some nice boobs since you like them so much, but I didn't want to raise any questions about my intarweb activities with the IT people here at work. As the adage goes, it's the thought that counts. ;)


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Reviews


Submitted by Shlongy at 2014-10-21 17:56:41 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Narcissistic Personality Disorder headcase and dog-fucker, below.

Submitted by OathMeal at 2014-10-21 12:05:30 EDT (#)

Idiot below.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2014-10-20 21:18:40 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I LOL-ed.

Submitted by gascs at 2009-04-30 23:31:11 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

goddamned internet

Submitted by JonnyX at 2009-04-30 22:39:01 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

just give him one, and bite down HARD

Submitted by S.I. Co. at 2009-04-29 08:09:26 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2009-04-28 16:55:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2009-04-28 15:11:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

My name in a title = surefire way to get hits and attention.


NO KIDDING. THIS ONE IS UP TO 800 HITS! 400 of them yours and sage's.

============

I think your jealousy is showing. God forbid someone doesn't mention shlongy and all of a sudden his pussy starts falling out of his daisy dukes.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2009-04-28 16:55:01 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2009-04-28 15:11:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

My name in a title = surefire way to get hits and attention.


NO KIDDING. THIS ONE IS UP TO 800 HITS! 400 of them yours and sage's.

Submitted by mystiamoon at 2009-04-28 16:00:35 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

oh please i made the heat..bitch!



just kiddin.

Submitted by S.I. Co. at 2009-04-28 15:11:15 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

My name in a title = surefire way to get hits and attention.

Submitted by NerfHerder at 2009-04-28 13:58:20 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Oh Christ you're doing everything girlfriendy except for sucking the man's dick. Either stop leading the boy on or start sucking.

Submitted by scourge at 2009-04-28 13:38:10 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

eh, just give him one really toothy one and he'll never ask again.

Submitted by Unabonger at 2009-04-28 13:08:15 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

you hang out with that loser in real life?


jesus.

Submitted by Sage at 2009-04-28 11:42:44 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

SPAM!!

Check your mail, sweetums.

Submitted by Sage at 2009-04-28 11:40:20 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

No1 is a contrary motherfucker who can't make up his mind. He says he's ignoring people and that they're not worth the words he's typing which makes zero sense to teh Sage. It's actually pretty amusing...every time I read one of his reviews I blink a few times, purse my lips and shake my head. That's all I CAN do, really.

Submitted by mystiamoon at 2009-04-28 11:37:29 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

lol poor boy thinks everyone is an alter.

dont feel bad sage he's convinced i'm not real either.

Submitted by no1hasdis at 2009-04-28 11:33:57 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

STFU, sico alter

Submitted by mystiamoon at 2009-04-28 10:41:09 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Drew, dear.
this computer was 9 yrs old.
I needed a new one anyway...you knew that.

christ i was running windows me and my system was so small in terms of memory and such i was scared to even upgrade to XP.

so thx for the puter lesson.

i'm quite happy with my purchase.

it'll last me another 9 years i hope, i got one with tons of room for upgrades and plug-ins later.

Submitted by HadToBeDone at 2009-04-28 10:32:25 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2009-04-28 07:33:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

actually i haven't been reading, monkey-boy!
My old computer got infected with that confucker worm and i finally laid it to rest in the computer cemetary.
-----
1. Boot off windows CD.
2. Format c: drive
3. Re-install Windows.

Way to waste some cash.

Submitted by Sage at 2009-04-28 10:14:52 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

I'll have to give it a listen now.

Submitted by mystiamoon at 2009-04-28 10:13:57 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

that one is good too..

annie lennox does a slowed down haunting version.

Submitted by Sage at 2009-04-28 10:12:22 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

No, although I've been told I look somewhat like Annie Lennox.

I had the Marley version in my head...

Submitted by mystiamoon at 2009-04-28 10:10:43 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

mmm
annie lennox...

is that the version you are singing?

Submitted by Sage at 2009-04-28 10:08:22 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

*sigh*

I don't want to waaaait in vain for your love...I dont wanna I dont wanna I dont wanna I don't wanna I don't wanna wait in vain...

Submitted by mystiamoon at 2009-04-28 10:03:41 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

oh spamarific you couldn't stay away if you tried!

there's way too much cyber vag in here now

it's magnetic.

just go with it and stop being a british prude!

Submitted by mystiamoon at 2009-04-28 10:02:09 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Please dont send me a virus matty..

this is a new system.

* offers left boob as a peace offering*

Submitted by Spam at 2009-04-28 10:01:37 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Ach, I fear I will have to take a step back from this post now. Before, I could take a least a little solace from the fact that I was the only sane person in here but with Sage's glorious arrival, my power for rational thought has evaporated and I have become a mere shade of my former self. A drooling wreck of a man, torn apart my own unfulfilled feelings of lust and love towards she, the most beautiful Uberers.

Oh Sage, this cannot go on... Ours was supposed to be the love that dare not speak it's name.

Submitted by mystiamoon at 2009-04-28 10:01:06 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

BACK OFF my mystery meat sage, you diseased hussy.

you're not getting your pink ladies jacket now...bitch!

Submitted by mystiamoon at 2009-04-28 09:59:40 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

OMG orph...


*DIES*

AHAHAHAHAHS

Submitted by orphelia at 2009-04-28 09:51:47 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2009-04-28 14:49:13 BST (#)
Ranking: 0

FJ where's the balls pic you promised me, mister?!

------------
It would be a two part mail, they are huge.
bruise your ass something rotten.

anyway, i am off to wash my hair

Submitted by SgtHartman at 2009-04-28 09:51:27 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2009-04-28 09:49:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

FJ where's the balls pic you promised me, mister?!

psh..
all talk
====================
I hate to say it but I have one.

I'll send it along.

Submitted by Sage at 2009-04-28 09:50:24 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Spameo, Spameo, wherefore art thou Spameo? Forsake thy country and cross the Atlantic; or if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love and I'll no longer be an American.


Spam is the air I breathe.

Submitted by mystiamoon at 2009-04-28 09:49:13 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

FJ where's the balls pic you promised me, mister?!

psh..
all talk

Submitted by orphelia at 2009-04-28 09:48:16 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

it was aimed at spam, sage

hey FJ mail me where i can buy the mag

Submitted by F.J.Bell at 2009-04-28 09:45:24 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

You're all fucking nuts.

Submitted by Sage at 2009-04-28 09:45:22 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

I never called her frumpy...

Orphelia you're making me weep emo tears...

Submitted by redskieslookfake at 2009-04-28 09:43:54 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Don't think she likes it when people call her frumpy.

Submitted by Sage at 2009-04-28 09:43:13 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Why are you saying "fuck you" and -2ing me, O?

Submitted by mystiamoon at 2009-04-28 09:38:03 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

YUP THAT WAS THE GOOD STUFF..
I ESPECIALLY LOVED IT WHEN KING BARTBART BANNED YOUR ASS FOR THAT!

LOLERCOASTERS FOR DAYS!!!


so we gonna fuck or what, pudge?

Submitted by orphelia at 2009-04-28 09:37:53 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

fuck you

Submitted by Spam at 2009-04-28 09:34:53 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

It's a throwback from the old days. http://www.ubersite.com/m/64515#1298438

Orphelia: Alomst. Not you though. Too frumpy. Sorry.



Submitted by mystiamoon at 2009-04-28 09:28:40 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

P.S.

If you did wake up the next day it wouldn.t be in my bed!

I dont allow sleep-overs.

fuck me and get out so i can go back to watching law and order re-runs and knitting towels out of the innards of my ex-boyfriends.

they make a great hand towel once you dry the guts out jerky style!


WOO!

Submitted by mystiamoon at 2009-04-28 09:25:56 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

who the fuck is MYsita?

anyway.

it's always an adventure..you never know.

are you feeling lucky, punk?


best sex of your life.

TRUTH!

Submitted by orphelia at 2009-04-28 09:25:00 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

from what i hear you'd probably fuck anyone, spam

awesome

Submitted by Spam at 2009-04-28 09:23:09 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

And for the record they're thundercats Y-fronts. <insert obligatory Tunderpants are go joke here>. HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! etc.

*sigh*

I need a new fucking job.

Submitted by Spam at 2009-04-28 09:21:02 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I would probably fuck Mysita. If only for the added thrill of wondering whether or not I would actually wake up the next day. It'd be like a cross between Basic Instinct and finding Nemo.

Submitted by mystiamoon at 2009-04-28 09:16:57 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

OH now spammy, no double team.

I don't share.

I want your fatty mystery meat all to myself.
Plus from your smoking post im sure i could get a nic buzz from one lick since i havent smoked in almost 3 years!

Submitted by orphelia at 2009-04-28 09:11:06 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

All this female attention must be making you splooge your superman motif y fronts, Spammy.

Hey mystia, long time no see. Glad to have you back, shake things up mystia style.
you seem to have ei pegged well.

Submitted by Spam at 2009-04-28 09:04:56 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

jesus titty fucking christ, A mysitamoon and Orphelia doubleteam? Twice the crazy: same affordable price.

The thread has become nuttier than the National Gonad Expo.

Submitted by mystiamoon at 2009-04-28 08:59:52 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

P.S.
HI ORPH

WHAT'S UP FLOOZY?

Submitted by mystiamoon at 2009-04-28 08:58:21 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2009-04-28 08:21:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Why is it that all of the lunatics on this site INSIST on branding others with their own specific form of psychosis? I find it most initriguing.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Don't you have 40 fags and a bucket of greasy chicken to choke down today??


luv u muffin!
xoxo

Submitted by orphelia at 2009-04-28 08:56:30 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

It so bloody was bloody aimed bloody at me, you fucking beast.
Yeah, beast.

Submitted by SgtHartman at 2009-04-28 08:54:08 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

GODDAMN you could cut the fucking drama with a knife on this post!!

+2 for that.

Submitted by TuTs at 2009-04-28 08:43:13 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Life is form of phsycosis.

Submitted by orphelia at 2009-04-28 08:38:58 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2009-04-28 13:21:51 BST (#)
Ranking: 2

Why is it that all of the lunatics on this site INSIST on branding others with their own specific form of psychosis? I find it most initriguing.
------
aimed at me? if so, nice.


Submitted by Berty at 2009-04-28 08:30:19 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2009-04-28 08:21:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Why is it that all of the lunatics on this site INSIST on branding others with their own specific form of psychosis? I find it most initriguing.
------------------
Misery loves company, but joy lives contendedly alone but on a government 'watch' list.

Submitted by Spam at 2009-04-28 08:21:51 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Why is it that all of the lunatics on this site INSIST on branding others with their own specific form of psychosis? I find it most initriguing.

Submitted by mystiamoon at 2009-04-28 07:33:05 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

actually i haven't been reading, monkey-boy!
My old computer got infected with that confucker worm and i finally laid it to rest in the computer cemetary.

i had to save up to get a new system, i wanted one built to my standards and not some package from a big retailer.

I've only been back online a couple weeks.

but thx for thinking you or this site compels me in such a way that i cannot bear to be away from it.

that's you and robio, my friend...many of us function just fine away from here and never even think about you when i'm gone.

your obsessive nonsense and mentioning me on a bunch of threads when i way away is creepy yet adorable.

in other news...go anally impale yourself with a rusty hammer!

<3

Submitted by orphelia at 2009-04-28 07:13:59 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2009-04-28 11:59:38 BST (#)
Ranking: 2

Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-04-28 06:48:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Aw how cute, I think Spam has a crush on Sagey, he logs on specifically to give her a +2. Sweeet.

Sage, this is hite, quit it the pair of you.
--

Sage is the only reason I log onto Uber nowadays. She is in fact, the only reason I do anything anymore, from the moment I wake to the second I doze off she is all that occupies my thoughts.

It's got so bad now that I have developed an irrational hatred of the Atlantic for being so stubborn as to separate us, cruel bastard of an ocean that it is.
------

I'd say I'd buy a hat but personally I don't do weddings and anyway it will be much too far to travel to from bonny Aberdeen.
You make a wonderful couple though, like Quasimodo and Esmeralda only less attractive and with more teeth.

Perhaps, Spam, you should carve a boat from the massive chip on your shoulder and sail to her.
How romantic.

Submitted by Spam at 2009-04-28 06:59:38 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-04-28 06:48:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Aw how cute, I think Spam has a crush on Sagey, he logs on specifically to give her a +2. Sweeet.

Sage, this is hite, quit it the pair of you.
--

Sage is the only reason I log onto Uber nowadays. She is in fact, the only reason I do anything anymore, from the moment I wake to the second I doze off she is all that occupies my thoughts.

It's got so bad now that I have developed an irrational hatred of the Atlantic for being so stubborn as to separate us, cruel bastard of an ocean that it is.

Submitted by orphelia at 2009-04-28 06:51:30 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

*shite, I have DT's from lack of sugar.

Submitted by orphelia at 2009-04-28 06:48:02 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Aw how cute, I think Spam has a crush on Sagey, he logs on specifically to give her a +2. Sweeet.

Sage, this is hite, quit it the pair of you.

Submitted by Spam at 2009-04-28 06:15:16 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by RoadSong (user info) at 2009-04-27 17:16:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2009-04-27 13:33:40 PDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Hi blondie...what's shakin sister!
--------------------------------------

In other news...I haven't been around this toilet bowl in months and already in several of the posts i've looked at to catch up a bit I have this fool on my well lubricated jock all over threads.

Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-04-27 15:08:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

so this is what happened to mystiamoon

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dude, you chimp-faced freak-boy...I don't even know you..You are after my time.
However, it is touching to see you remove your head from butterface's ass long enough to name drop me on a weekly basis here.

it warms my frigid raisin of a heart to know i'm missed.( or maybe its my vagina that's frigid and raisin like...i'm getting older and i get them confused)

P.S.
suck it!
<3
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
World Class comment! {frigid raisin of a heart} heh

--

do not feed the animals.

Submitted by F.J.Bell at 2009-04-28 04:40:22 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Oh, sage. One oh four.

Submitted by EmissionImpossible at 2009-04-28 04:34:56 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

chimp faced :)

i always knew you are reading mystia! anyways its nice to see your seeping bucket of a herpes infected fanny around here. it warms the cockles of my heart.

anyway nice to see i made you comment, now onto the next part of my plan


how do i send you mental?

oh its ok

:)

http://www.ubersite.com/m/119985

Submitted by redskieslookfake at 2009-04-28 02:38:00 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

I mean seriously, you sound like one of his many alters

Submitted by redskieslookfake at 2009-04-28 02:34:27 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Christ, just fuck it already

Submitted by cheerios at 2009-04-28 00:34:58 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

SHUT UP YOU BITCH.

Submitted by Sage at 2009-04-27 23:48:48 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Oh yeah, my grammar/spelling is WAY better than Sico's, hence the reason I'm his alter's editor.

Submitted by Sage at 2009-04-27 23:47:17 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Pandora...if you look at some of my earlier posts (specifically the one entitled "This One's for Phallic"...can't be arsed to linkwhore it) you'll see photographic evidence that I am not, in fact, Sico's alter.

Thanks for the doormat/cocktease compliment though...that's EXACTLY what I was going for...glad to know I aced it AND exceeded "Uber standards", whatever the fuck THAT is.

And MYSTIAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Where the French have you been all my life? I haven't seen Orphelia around here in a while either...I <3 you long time so come back!

Submitted by tinactin at 2009-04-27 23:10:15 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Submitted by Bubba2341 at 2009-04-27 18:29:15 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

stfu.

Submitted by pandora at 2009-04-27 17:34:23 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

I've been going back and forth on this since you joined Uber, but this post has thoroughly convinced me that you are an alter of Sico. You are way too cocktease/doormat-y, even by Uber standards.(Not to mention the part about how many girls are waiting in line to suck his cock--puh-LEEZE!) Besides, everyone knows how convincingly Sico can imitate a female online, just ask frankthebear.


Submitted by RoadSong at 2009-04-27 17:16:58 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2009-04-27 13:33:40 PDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Hi blondie...what's shakin sister!
--------------------------------------

In other news...I haven't been around this toilet bowl in months and already in several of the posts i've looked at to catch up a bit I have this fool on my well lubricated jock all over threads.

Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-04-27 15:08:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

so this is what happened to mystiamoon

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dude, you chimp-faced freak-boy...I don't even know you..You are after my time.
However, it is touching to see you remove your head from butterface's ass long enough to name drop me on a weekly basis here.

it warms my frigid raisin of a heart to know i'm missed.( or maybe its my vagina that's frigid and raisin like...i'm getting older and i get them confused)

P.S.
suck it!
<3
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
World Class comment! {frigid raisin of a heart} heh

Submitted by haikumikoo at 2009-04-27 17:05:23 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2009-04-27 14:04:33 PDT (#)
Ranking: -2

Don't care.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2009-04-27 16:57:40 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

I know you do...You're not alone in that regard.

Submitted by mystiamoon at 2009-04-27 16:54:42 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

yes Shlongy your nuts are so old and droopy they probably need a case to be carried around in so they don't drag on the floor in your wake and slow down the pace of your walker.


I LOVE YOU SANTA!

Submitted by Shlongy at 2009-04-27 16:51:05 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Nutcase alert...aisle three.

Submitted by mystiamoon at 2009-04-27 16:33:40 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Hi blondie...what's shakin sister!
--------------------------------------

In other news...I haven't been around this toilet bowl in months and already in several of the posts i've looked at to catch up a bit I have this fool on my well lubricated jock all over threads.

Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-04-27 15:08:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

so this is what happened to mystiamoon

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dude, you chimp-faced freak-boy...I don't even know you..You are after my time.
However, it is touching to see you remove your head from butterface's ass long enough to name drop me on a weekly basis here.

it warms my frigid raisin of a heart to know i'm missed.( or maybe its my vagina that's frigid and raisin like...i'm getting older and i get them confused)

P.S.
suck it!
<3

Submitted by maiorano84 at 2009-04-27 16:33:23 EDT (#)
Rating: 2


What about me looking like an old flame? Does that get me bonus points?


Maybe just the tip?

Submitted by Sage at 2009-04-27 15:42:33 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

True, below...and having them come to ME asking ME to ask YOU to please fuck them was a bit more than I could handle which is why I'd prefer NOT to be involved, capice?

Submitted by S.I. Co. at 2009-04-27 15:28:18 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Yes, except you tried to hook me up with women who beg me to fuck them and I'd rather stay on my couch.

Submitted by Sage at 2009-04-27 15:21:27 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Wow, the below could not be less true.

I have even tried setting him up with people I know (until I decided it made me more uncomfortable to be involved in his dating life).

Sico is pretty and a sexy beast but he gets plenty of attention from plenty of other females and same goes for me...we are barely compatible as friends so going there is definitely not on the agenda whatsoever.

Submitted by TaylorSwift at 2009-04-27 15:16:44 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Subtext: Please don't lose interest, it'll happen.

Submitted by EmissionImpossible at 2009-04-27 15:08:10 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

so this is what happened to mystiamoon

Submitted by Sage at 2009-04-27 15:02:32 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

<3 Silence of the Lambs...Anthony Hopkins is an insanely good actor. He was also good in Meet Joe Black.

Submitted by RoadSong at 2009-04-27 15:00:40 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2009-04-27 11:45:45 PDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Quid pro quo, my dear. :)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Anthony is that you, you fava bean penis eater?
{Silence Of The Lambs}
heh

ps
Sunflowers make cool shelters when planted in a circle and then tied together at the top when they get tall...

Submitted by Shlongy at 2009-04-27 15:00:03 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Just the cumings....

Submitted by Sage at 2009-04-27 14:58:42 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Hey Shlongy!!

My golf clubs came in and I have my second golf lesson tomorrow, just letting you know since you're SOOO interested in my comings and goings! :)

Submitted by Shlongy at 2009-04-27 14:53:28 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Jesus Christ, STFU

Submitted by S.I. Co. at 2009-04-27 14:53:15 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Anyway, I've got to go back to work and fix 180lbs of fucked up chemicals due to an improper spec sheet and catalyst add :(

Submitted by S.I. Co. at 2009-04-27 14:52:13 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Also, I keep hearing you say that you give world class hummers and as a recipient of lots and lots of hummers I'd guess that you are in the average to talented department based on your many descriptions provided on uber.

Submitted by S.I. Co. at 2009-04-27 14:51:06 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

True story, I'm gonna jerk off on your face!

Submitted by Sage at 2009-04-27 14:49:57 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

No, it's not ever acceptable for a friend to suck a friend's penis unless they're on the same page about what it all means.

And since my blow jobs come with contingencies and quid pro quos that neither of us are interested in, it's just not going to happen, sweetums.

You : Me :: Unstoppable Force : Immovable Object

TRUE STORY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Submitted by Sage at 2009-04-27 14:45:45 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Quid pro quo, my dear. :)

Submitted by FALLEN at 2009-04-27 14:44:31 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

written while blowing Sico.

Submitted by S.I. Co. at 2009-04-27 14:43:58 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Also, occasionally it is acceptable for a friend to suck the dick of another friend....fucking no good friend you are.

Submitted by S.I. Co. at 2009-04-27 14:43:02 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

After fishing? Okay then.

And if you check, it's already there. 207 and growing.

Submitted by Sage at 2009-04-27 14:41:44 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

HA!!

Don't forget to put this in your Sico collection.

Submitted by S.I. Co. at 2009-04-27 14:39:15 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

God damn it, Sage. You asked me no fewer than 15 times over the past couple of weeks and now you are begging me on a public forum? Fine. Fine, indeed. I will let you suck my dick if you insist on begging and groveling like a loon. If you insist on swallowing my cock (or at least trying to) I will let you but for fuck's sake do you think you could keep the begging and public humiliation to a low?

Thanks,
Sico

Submitted by Sage at 2009-04-27 14:37:02 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

OOooh ooh I just thought of another: I promise to also be quasi-decent at Baggo! :)

Submitted by SgtHartman at 2009-04-27 14:33:38 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

hahaha

this is EXACTLY why I dont want my wife to be-friend sico on FB.

+2 Sage

Submitted by Sage at 2009-04-27 14:30:33 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Hahaha @ Spam!!

That was Sico's apology letter; since then he has repeatedly asked for this sort of "favor" and it came to a head (no pun intended) today so I thought I'd put it in writing to formalize it.

Submitted by PioneerBill at 2009-04-27 14:28:42 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

So where is this story going?

Submitted by Spam at 2009-04-27 14:25:58 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

wasn't the original post like three weeks ago?

Way to stay on top of your correspondence.

Submitted by Caulaincourt at 2009-04-27 14:15:05 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2009-04-27 14:12:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

hotmail.com

gmail.com

etc etc

Submitted by Snark at 2009-04-27 14:12:12 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

hotmail.com

gmail.com

etc etc

Submitted by Sage at 2009-04-27 14:12:03 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

See? I EVEN labeled this as "Science and Environmental" since you're a chemist.


Homer: Hey, Flanders, it's no use praying. I already did the same thing,
and we can't both win.

Flanders:
Actually, Simpson, we were praying that no one gets hurt.

Dead Putting Society