Recession or not, I'm going on fucking holidaySubmitted by w_t_a_y_s_t_r_m at 2009-05-14 04:27:22 EDT
Rating: 1.84 on 28 ratings (28 reviews) (Review this item) (V)
This time tomorrow I'll be fucking about in Amsterdam. Good only knows what I'm going to do there, but as the girlfriend's paying (she's like my sugarmummy) I'm going.
I, like most people, exhaust my knowledge of Amsterdam with drugs, prostitution, canals and windmills. And frankly I only know about the canals and windmills from watching America's Next Top Model (haha your gay, etc, well done very clever, move on, assholes).
So I decided to research a little bit more in preperation for the trip. Turns out, when it comes to tourism, Amsterdam is pretty much about drugs, prostitution, canals, windmills and museums. So I learnt something there. A little more research and I discover that you have to pay for the museums.
Fuck that. I've spent 25 years learning for free, why the hell should I start paying now?
The only one that caught my eye was from this website: http://wikitravel.org/en/Amsterdam, called The Hash, Marihuana and Hemp Museum. At first I thought, that's cool. And then I read the description:
Opened for over twenty years, the Hash Museum is dedicated to debunking the lies and demonization about one of our most useful plants, the hemp plant. Although small, busy and seriously overpriced, it is a well-done museum where people go to get informed.
Well now fuck that too. I like the ignorance. I like being uninformed. I like not paying for stuff, let alone seriously overpriced.
Thanks to my girlfriend being a pain in the ass, I did learn one other thing when I made an unwitting deal.
GF: "Okay, I'll make a deal. You can go get stoned..."
GF: "If we can rent bikes for a day."
Me: "You deceptive, minx, you. I don't know whether to kill you or fuck."
GF: "Well you can't kill me. My hot, model cousin is visiting. What will she do if I die?"
HMC: "Yes, Nath, what will I do..."
GF: "Takes us both and we'll call it even."
HMC: "Yes, take us."
Also, her cousin was Swedish.
So yeah, long story short, I'm going to be spending all day Sunday hungover, starving and trying to balance my considerable gut on a shitty wire frame with two pathetic wheels so that we can go look at stuff at a much slower rate than if we used a hoover craft or a taxi. When I pointed that out, apparantly I was missing the point of cycling.
Just because every other bastard will be pedalling around the city like a gobshite, suddenly means I have to. I don't know when going on holiday suddenly meant I had to do exercise. She'll probably make me eat salad as well.
But fuck it. I'm going on holiday for the first time since I went to the shit-tip that is Venice, and nowhere can be worst than that.
"Recession? What recession? Oh, THAT recession, right. No, I won't pay for sex. Get a real job, like a hash dealer."