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Credit Card Companies are uncaring shits

Submitted by w_t_a_y_s_t_r_m at 2009-05-21 13:14:24 EDT
Rating: 1.45 on 31 ratings (31 reviews) (Review this item) (V)

I'm one of those people who is really shit with money. You know the kind, we're normal. Those freaks out there who have an average salary, shit loads in savings and no rent/mortgage to pay are the fucking freaks in this world, as far as I'm concerned. Me, I have a high rent bill, high travel costs, a piss poor credit rating, fuck all money and owe about five different people/companies some random amount ranging from £700 up to £9,000.

Why is this? Simple, I don't really care about it. My life doesn't revolve around it, just what I can do with it. Having money doesn't ever make me happy or enrich my life, but it would stupid to deny needing it to do the things that I want to do. If I had £500 in my account, it wouldn't make me happy to think "I'm saving money, go me", it would just make me think, "What the fuck am I going to spend that on?"

All of this is a long way to introduce the fact that I have recently got a credit card. And not just any credit card, but an internet one. That is, from a company who only work online. No branches or buildings or any of that unimportant, expensive shit. Nope, just a website and a phone line for dickheads who can't use a website.

This basically means that every once in a while I'll get an email from them telling me things like a statement is ready for me, a payment is due, a payment was due, someone's coming to get the payment, we have your xbox as hostage, thank you for the payment, etc.

So when I opened up inbox today I was a bit suprised to find an email with the subject line "Tell us all about it".

When I read this, in my head it was in a fatherly voice of one who finds his son coming home from a shit day at school, frowning and borderline crying. The email put a smile on my face. I assumed they had some sort of system that calculated from my spending habits of late that things haven't been going so well. I imagine it works like this:

"beep beep boop" (I assume they're emotion calculator makes the same noises as R2D2 while working shit out and stuff)

Someone somewhere gets a message saying "Nath isn't feeling too grand right now"

A meeting is called and a team of eggheads sit around, trying to work out the risk of this:

"Is this is a valuable costumer?"

"Sure he is. Look at his cute face and awesome hair." (I assume they also have a picture of me)

"That's true. But what is the risk here? Prehaps he gets more unhappy and decides to go spending crazy on comfort food and clothing?"

"Research suggests that he is in fact hetrosexual."

"Manly?"

"Only the manliest man that isn't actually a lion."

"Holy shit. I think we all know what that means."

"What does that mean, chief?" (This is kind of a Jimmy Olsen type character. Learning difficulties, but makes up for it with effort. Bit like me in bed)

"It means he bottles everything up. Eventually he'll just either go mental or put end his life. We need to do something. A dead customer isn't a useful customer."

"Holy shit..." (That was a collective holy shit, by the way)

"What can we do?"

This is where the panic would start to set in and they would run around the meeting room screaming at each other and talking absolute crap, running through insane ideas of how to cheer me up and make me happier without actually costing them money.

Somewhere in the corner would be a (Chinese) man, sat quietly through the whole thing, gently stroking his beard, deep in thought.

"Maybe," This wise old sage would begin, instantly hushing everyone around. "We should just be there for him. The real man needs to be approached, and needs someone to listen, like the buffalo." (Just so you know, I changed my mind, he isn't Chinese, but native American)

Everyone would listen to this man's advice and they would sit down to word the perfectly worded email to try and help me bring my emotions to the surface and allow me to vent, thus saving my life and their beautiful customer for another spending spree.

With tears forming in my eyes, I clicked open the email to see the not so perfectly worded "Right now, we'd really like you to tell us what you think about current accounts and we'd appreciate it if you could take a few moments to fill out our survey"

Bunch of cunts. It's almost like they don't want me to their customer.


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Submitted by Crystle at 2009-05-23 22:20:28 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

how ironic is it that I just read this - had no idea you'd posted it when we chatted

Submitted by Replen at 2009-05-23 14:52:43 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2009-05-22 09:10:27 BST (#)
Ranking: 2

I got my monthly wage today. It'll be gone by Monday.

----

Yeah, I hear gay bars are expensive.

Submitted by Spam at 2009-05-22 06:17:15 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by F.J.Bell at 2009-05-22 04:10:27 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I got my monthly wage today. It'll be gone by Monday.

Submitted by Wildman at 2009-05-22 03:45:04 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2009-05-21 14:58:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

people who carry a balance on their credit cards are failures as far as i'm concerned.

^^^^^^^^^^^^

No it's beyond that.
They're just really really really stupid.

Submitted by bustedcompass at 2009-05-22 02:40:04 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I decided this was a 2 just based on the title. The text didn't quite deliver but the title is still the shit.

Submitted by IntangibleHands at 2009-05-22 00:04:06 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

THE SKY IS BLUE! THE GRASS IS GREEN! AAAAAAAHHHHHH!

Submitted by Snark at 2009-05-21 23:23:31 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by Rhymenocerous (user info) at 2009-05-21 16:42:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

I enjoyed reading this and it made me laugh a little several times.

Submitted by TuTs at 2009-05-21 21:03:05 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

This was great, you would think the amount of cash that people give to these companies just so they can get things now, they would be a bit nicer, you know stop people from consolidating their debt. I don't actually have a credit card, I have been so tempted too, but I'm terrible with money. New shoes or Power bill? Kids school fees or a week down south? With a credit card my legs would be broken within the year.

Submitted by RoadSong at 2009-05-21 20:27:08 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

"Maybe," This wise old sage would begin, instantly hushing everyone around. "We should just be there for him. The real man needs to be approached, and needs someone to listen, like the buffalo." (Just so you know, I changed my mind, he isn't Chinese, but native American)"
~~~~~~~~
a wise old sage just called me on the phone and whispered sweet nothings...


Submitted by Rhymenocerous at 2009-05-21 16:42:55 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I enjoyed reading this and it made me laugh a little several times.

Submitted by SkullBiter at 2009-05-21 16:38:29 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Yeah. I'm about in the same spot.

Submitted by osmosianist at 2009-05-21 16:07:59 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

"don't want me to their customer."

Submitted by firefly at 2009-05-21 16:03:13 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by monkeyswithguns at 2009-05-21 15:55:31 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I told BOA if they didn't remove me from their phone promotions list I'd take my huge savings and checking accounts elsewhere.

Fuckers still keep calling though.

Submitted by YourNameHere at 2009-05-21 15:47:59 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by EmissionImpossible at 2009-05-21 15:43:21 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

being sensible! the uber masses wont learn.

Submitted by Caulaincourt at 2009-05-21 15:41:42 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

snap out of what?

Submitted by EmissionImpossible at 2009-05-21 15:15:18 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2009-05-21 19:58:49 BST (#)
Ranking: 1

people who carry a balance on their credit cards are failures as far as i'm concerned.

first of all, do you really need all that shit you bought? probably not. life can be fun without stuff if you have a little imagination.

second, if you really do need all those things, why the fuck haven't you AT LEAST opened a credit margin to pay all your cards and consolidate your debt? with the current interest rates, it's fucking retarded to pay the interest rates of credit cards, even if you make the minimum payments.

turd, credit cards are for chicks
-----------

YaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAwwwwwwwwwwwWWWWWWWWWWWWWWnnnnNNNNNNNNNNNNN

snap out of it caul

Submitted by SgtHartman at 2009-05-21 15:09:42 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by JulsInsane (user info) at 2009-05-21 14:27:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2009-05-21 13:25:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

dont own any credit cards, prob never will.

my wife has credit cards and my name is connected to them to boost my credit.

but I dont need that nonsense.
____________________________________________
That is an odd statement.
Your wife only uses her credit cards for things that specifically relate to her wants/needs and not yours?

Odd.

:-P
=========================
no no not at all, I mean she buys things for herself, but anytime I need anything I am free to use them, but before i married her I didnt have my name attached to ANY credit cards at all.

I's bad at uzing da creditz

Submitted by mystiamoon at 2009-05-21 15:05:39 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

i got rid of all of mine.

now to shop or get hotel rooms when i travel i just get a pre-paid visa

no muss no fuss

greatest invention since the cock!

Submitted by Merlina at 2009-05-21 15:04:30 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I don't own a credit card. Bizarrely it makes me bad on credit (at least it would if I wasn't a homeowner).

Spending on credit or storecards is spending next weeks wages. SAVE and then buy.

Submitted by Caulaincourt at 2009-05-21 14:58:49 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

people who carry a balance on their credit cards are failures as far as i'm concerned.

first of all, do you really need all that shit you bought? probably not. life can be fun without stuff if you have a little imagination.

second, if you really do need all those things, why the fuck haven't you AT LEAST opened a credit margin to pay all your cards and consolidate your debt? with the current interest rates, it's fucking retarded to pay the interest rates of credit cards, even if you make the minimum payments.

turd, credit cards are for chicks

Submitted by JulsInsane at 2009-05-21 14:27:36 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2009-05-21 13:25:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

dont own any credit cards, prob never will.

my wife has credit cards and my name is connected to them to boost my credit.

but I dont need that nonsense.
____________________________________________
That is an odd statement.
Your wife only uses her credit cards for things that specifically relate to her wants/needs and not yours?

Odd.

:-P

Submitted by skrapmetal at 2009-05-21 14:02:35 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Credit cards are awesome. You can use them to scrape ice off your windshield in a snow emergency, open doors that have really cheap locks, throw them like plastic shuriken, make high-fashion clothing http://z.about.com/d/fashion/1/7/K/i/2/amexdress.jpg or even cut them up into six really nice guitar picks. They are not good for living on, though.

Submitted by Berty at 2009-05-21 13:32:31 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-05-21 13:30:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2009-05-21 18:24:04 BST (#)
Ranking: 1

The easiest way to gain control of your finances is to give up your imagination. Perhaps a career in marketing would help?
------------
or move to birmingham
-----------------------
He's right you know.

Submitted by EmissionImpossible at 2009-05-21 13:30:53 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2009-05-21 18:24:04 BST (#)
Ranking: 1

The easiest way to gain control of your finances is to give up your imagination. Perhaps a career in marketing would help?
------------
or move to birmingham

Submitted by j0andre1 at 2009-05-21 13:29:42 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

heh... buffalo

Submitted by SgtHartman at 2009-05-21 13:25:09 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

dont own any credit cards, prob never will.

my wife has credit cards and my name is connected to them to boost my credit.

but I dont need that nonsense.

Submitted by Berty at 2009-05-21 13:24:04 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

The easiest way to gain control of your finances is to give up your imagination. Perhaps a career in marketing would help?

Submitted by orphelia at 2009-05-21 13:23:26 EDT (#)
Rating: 2


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