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SPT- A collection of random posts

Submitted by monkeyswithguns at 2009-09-03 10:43:58 EDT
Rating: 1.58 on 41 ratings (41 reviews) (Review this item) (V)

I've been meaning to post something decent for awhile, and have started on plenty of things, but always felt they weren't quite worth the time, so now I'll give them to you in a compiled version. It might be shit, but then again, it's SPT.

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Predictions:

In the future, it will be revealed that the major hidden factors contributing to our economic downturn were technological innovations. The development of more efficient products resulted in less demand for products. Examples of this are the trend of compact fluorescent bulbs, hybrid vehicles, or vehicles with higher gas mileage in general, and streaming television over the internet.

-With compact fluorescent bulbs, we buy less bulbs, and we buy them less often. In the very near future, these bulbs will possibly be sold in single packaging, because they’ll only be bought as another bulb burns out.

-In the case of hybrid vehicles, several industries are feeling the effects. As the gas prices have risen over the past few years, and money has become tighter, the majority of us have turned to foreign imports or hybrids. Either way, one major result has been less gas purchasing per person, and people drive less often. Remember the days of your youth where you’d go for a joyride? Fill up the tank and just drive all day with no true destination? I once drove all day and ended up lost in another state with a good friend of mine. I wouldn’t do it now though, it only cost me around $15-20 then, now it would cost somewhere around $50.00 or more.

Generally speaking, almost all vehicle related industries are down right now because of the residual effects. With less driving, we’re also breaking down less, which means less trips to the mechanic, and if we do, it’s only because you can’t do it yourself at home.

-The television industry is quickly going the way of the dinosaur. Everyone’s known for years that the quality of broadcast television has been steadily heading to the shitter, while the popularity of internet based entertainment has steadily risen. You’re partaking of it right now, or at least trying to. Now with Hulu, Netflix, and several other websites, the only thing stopping the television from becoming redundant is the length of the high speed internet cables, which are growing exponentially every day, catching up with cell-phone coverage. Television still has some time left, but it’s days are numbered.

Who would pay a satellite company a monthly fee for 10 minutes of commercials in a 30 minute program, when you can watch the same 20 min. program on Hulu with only 3 minutes of advertisement, all in one convenient, easy to ignore block at the very beginning. I use that time to go and get a drink or some food.

Eventually the broadcasters online will catch on to this, and start changing the format to be intermittent and unavoidable, so we should enjoy it while we can. However, that’s not set in stone, because of the freedom of the internet, where someone, somewhere else will always do it the way your customers want it done, and cheaper, if you won’t.

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I’m having problems with my fantasy world.

The particular fantasy I’m having problems with is time travel. I’ve managed to suspend my disbelief enough with the issue of the mechanics of bending space/time, but I’ve not gotten over the fear of ending up trapped inside the earth, or high above it in the atmosphere.

One problem is that I know the earth spins, and revolves around the sun. Not only that, but I also know that it moves away from the sun at a miniscule, but measurable distance annually. Taking this into account, it would take the invention of a teleportation device before the invention of my time machine, so that you could accurately determine where you will be when you re-materialize, so that you don’t end up popping up 5000 years in the past either completely enclosed by a high mountain, or a half mile up in the atmosphere because the planet hasn’t drifted away from the sun to be directly beneath your feet yet.

The main problem with this is that I’m now spending too much fantasy time in the laboratory, and not enough in the past riding raptors with my space rifle from my trip to the future and raping the Sabine women to increase the population of Rome.

Then again, looking back to Roman art, the women of the time weren't particularly attractive by today's standards, so I'll probably just stick to rampaging through history fucking people's shit up and attempting to trick ignorant peasants that I'm a god.



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Title: The Entertainment Challenge


I'm tired of logging on here only to find I'm not entertained for the day. There was a time.... blah blah blah. I don't care what happened to all the entertainment, but I want it back.

While I'm aware that if you don't have the inspiration, you can't contribute anything of worth, which would explain the string of fail that we've all seen here, I think that if there were a cash incentive maybe someone would be willing to come up with something.

With that in mind, and in an act of uncharacteristic selflessness, I, Monkeyswithguns, will promise to pay the winner of this challenge a total of $10.00 (ten dollars) cash. That's right, cash money, mailed in a double thick envelope to the address of your choosing.

With this money you could:
-Buy a strong drink.
-Rent a VERY cheap hooker for a VERY short period of time.
-Invest it in a lemonade stand.
-Smoke crack?
-Buy yourself some food to feed you while you look for a real job.

I don't care what you do with it, but I do care how you earn it.

I'd like to see something witty, clever, inspiring, funny, and generally entertaining, and so would everyone else. Someone will determine the winner by (date to be determined), based on general criteria such as length, subject matter, style, and finally on ratings, this last criterion being the least important.

In order to receive the prize,submit an entertaining post here, and email a link to said post, along with a mailing address (if you wish to claim the prize) to shanek07.at.gmail.com

I'm also willing to take donations to contribute to the total payoff at my postal box address:

Monkeyswithguns
PO Box 1283
Jackson, Ga, 30233
United States

I will update the total amount if/when I recieve donations. If by chance you're a sexy female, and would like to donate nude photos in lieu of a cash donation to the prize pot, I'll gladly accept and review your donation to ensure that it is suitable for the winner. For women, I'll also offer chocolate. Nothing too fancy, but it will be above average chocolate. Alternatively, I'll mail you a cock shot.



Insert picture here with filename "I'm giving you 3 weeks because you're all retarded.jpg"

***** I’m still willing to do this, but someone needs to be willing to responsibly and fairly judge this competition, and that someone isn’t me. I’ll gladly pay out though if someone else will take the initiative and start this.

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Has anyone seen this? It’s an article about a kid that developed an amazing energy recycling system based around algae. I think this kid’s probably going to go a long way.

http://www.inhabitat.com/2009/06/24/versatile-system-by-javier-fernandez-han/

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I normally would seek out an interesting picture to put at the bottom, but instead I’ve decided to give out a list of linkwhores to sites that have plenty of awesome pictures updated fairly regularly.

Many of you probably already know these sites pretty well, if so, good on you, you’re obviously l33t or whatever the fuck internetters would say. Did I just create a new noun?

- http://www.oddee.com/

*Updated daily, they do “Top #” lists of strange things.

- http://eatliver.com/

*Doesn’t update daily, but fairly regularly, have plenty of links to new and interesting ways to kill time.

- http://www.frigginrandom.com

*Just what the name says.

- http://www.419eater.com/html/letters.htm

*Some of you may know that my company got scammed the year before last by some Ghanians due to an error of greed on the part of the CEO, so I asked my friend who works in telephone relay services what I could do. She told me not much, but gave me a link to this website, where people routinely bust scammers. Check out the hall of shame, pictures that scammers have sent at the request of their intended targets.

- http://www.photobasement.com/

*A picture says a thousand words.

That’s all I’ve got for now, everyone have a great Thursday before the Friday we’re all working towards, and let's all put more effort into entertaining everyone than I've done today.


Hardy har har!.jpg
Hardy har har!.jpg


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Submitted by simple_catalyst at 2009-09-22 21:59:18 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

nice.

Submitted by Berty at 2009-09-04 10:29:04 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2009-09-04 10:09:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2009-09-04 10:04:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Are the British people still upset about the whole 80's scuffle with Argentina?
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It's more the scuffle in the 90's. It still hurts.
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I'll assume you're referring to football, worldwide style, and thus I wouldn't be knowledgeable about, nor have any interest in.
--------------------------
OMG RACIST!

Submitted by monkeyswithguns at 2009-09-04 10:09:22 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2009-09-04 10:04:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Are the British people still upset about the whole 80's scuffle with Argentina?
-------------
It's more the scuffle in the 90's. It still hurts.
-------------------------------------------------------------

I'll assume you're referring to football, worldwide style, and thus I wouldn't be knowledgeable about, nor have any interest in.

Submitted by Berty at 2009-09-04 10:04:10 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Are the British people still upset about the whole 80's scuffle with Argentina?
-------------
It's more the scuffle in the 90's. It still hurts.

Submitted by monkeyswithguns at 2009-09-04 09:49:39 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Where did you read that I was scared of black people Berty? I said in fact that I was comfortable being a minority around black people, that would be just like going in to work every day.

The reason I wanted to go Argentina is mostly because of great steaks, and dirt cheap land in abundance, and I'd like to see the Andes at some point in my life. Are the British people still upset about the whole 80's scuffle with Argentina?

We invaded Grenada and several other countries around the same time and we've long since gotten over it.

Submitted by Berty at 2009-09-04 09:41:39 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

You want to go on holiday to Argentina because you are scared of black people and...

Are you fucking with me?

Submitted by monkeyswithguns at 2009-09-04 09:30:02 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2009-09-04 09:19:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2009-09-04 07:39:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2009-09-03 23:36:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

MWG - serious question. Ever been to Argentina?
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No, though it's high on my list of places to visit.
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My God, why? The place is overun with Argentinians.
--------------------------------------------

Perhaps, but it's also cheap, big, they eat lots of meat, and make great wine, skiing in the lower Andes, traversing the Pampas, Seeing glaciers, penguins, seals and such. Oh, and this is a big one for American travellers, it's mostly white, so we don't get intimidated by being surrounded by the natives.

You'd think I'd be accustomed to being a minority, being from the south and all, but there are times when it freaks me out all the same. Besides, I'm a minority in a black environment, not a latino one.

Submitted by Berty at 2009-09-04 09:19:12 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2009-09-04 07:39:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2009-09-03 23:36:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

MWG - serious question. Ever been to Argentina?
----------------------------------------------------
No, though it's high on my list of places to visit.
-------------
My God, why? The place is overun with Argentinians.

Submitted by monkeyswithguns at 2009-09-04 07:39:06 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2009-09-03 23:36:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

MWG - serious question. Ever been to Argentina?
----------------------------------------------------
No, though it's high on my list of places to visit.

Submitted by willartstorg at 2009-09-04 00:49:37 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2009-09-03 16:01:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

re: time travel the solar system also moves in relation to the milky way which moves in relation to other galaxies.
***
you should move to a galaxy far, far away.

Submitted by X54 at 2009-09-04 00:38:22 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Is that your chest? Who stuck that pubic hair on it?

Submitted by Yozz at 2009-09-03 23:36:04 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

MWG - serious question. Ever been to Argentina?

Submitted by Tony_the_Tiger_is_a_Pedophile at 2009-09-03 23:14:29 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

That tattoo is accurate, racism is hilarious.

Submitted by TuTs at 2009-09-03 22:34:36 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2009-09-04 00:44:15 WST (#)
Ranking: 1

Also, while that kid has a decent idea he's leagues behind companies well footed in this take off arena. I'm invested into this company already: http://www.originoil.com/ . Exxon-Mobil has already donated $30+ mill into anyone who develops a system and there already are dozens of start-up companies. Algae-to-oil isn't a new concept but people who believed in ethanol were stupid because the land-to-energy-to-foodcost-subsidized-output ratios were just not economical. Algae produces something along the lines of 70% biomass to fuel ratio where corn was in the 14% neighborhood. The opportunities abound and because this kid ripped off some ideas doesn't mean he's deserving of accolades, just deserving of praise for bringing to the forefront an idea well hidden beneath the stream of other alternative energy ideas like geothermal energy HTM or wave energy OPTT etc. etc.

Man, I'm taxed.

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Which movie is it where all the oxygen in the ship comes from the algae vats?

Submitted by monkeyswithguns at 2009-09-03 20:39:27 EDT (#)
Rating: 0


Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2009-09-03 13:03:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Promise no suspicious-looking "white chocolate drizzle"?
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Nope, none of that, just Jamaican or Ethiopian chocolate.

Submitted by kaos-king at 2009-09-03 20:16:27 EDT (#)
Rating: 2


Awesome...



Submitted by Yozz at 2009-09-03 19:44:07 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

J'aime des singes avec pistolets.

Submitted by Ballare at 2009-09-03 17:44:48 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2009-09-03 13:08:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2009-09-03 13:03:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

And would I get the above-average chocolate?
------------------------------------------------

You'd get very special chocolate. Imported from the tropics even.

--

Promise no suspicious-looking "white chocolate drizzle"?

Submitted by monkeyswithguns at 2009-09-03 16:13:44 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2009-09-03 16:01:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

re: time travel the solar system also moves in relation to the milky way which moves in relation to other galaxies.
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Goddamn you.

Submitted by Doodles at 2009-09-03 16:01:19 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

re: time travel the solar system also moves in relation to the milky way which moves in relation to other galaxies.

Submitted by Liquidice281 at 2009-09-03 15:34:17 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

OK.

Submitted by LittleMonster at 2009-09-03 14:55:08 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Atta boy

Submitted by monkeyswithguns at 2009-09-03 14:22:38 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by TechnoRatty (user info) at 2009-09-03 14:12:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Random? I Like Random I also like Cheese, especially when he's nailed to the table
------------------------

What are you on? Would you please share?

Submitted by TechnoRatty at 2009-09-03 14:12:49 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Random? I Like Random I also like Cheese, especially when he's nailed to the table

Submitted by monkeyswithguns at 2009-09-03 13:08:17 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2009-09-03 13:03:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

And would I get the above-average chocolate?
------------------------------------------------

You'd get very special chocolate. Imported from the tropics even.

Submitted by Ballare at 2009-09-03 13:03:35 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

And would I get the above-average chocolate?

Submitted by monkeyswithguns at 2009-09-03 13:00:18 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2009-09-03 12:51:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Hey! I'm not retarded!
---------------------------------------------------------------------
No, you're just hot. Please feel free to donate all the naked pictures you'd like dear, I'm sure they'll all pass inspection.

Submitted by Ballare at 2009-09-03 12:51:20 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Hey! I'm not retarded!

Submitted by monkeyswithguns at 2009-09-03 12:48:27 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2009-09-03 12:45:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

People look at me funny when I tell them "I like monkeys with guns." ESPECIALLY when I say it in french.
-----------------------
How would you say it in French?

Yes Sico, algae is awesome. That's something I never thought I'd hear myself saying, but there ya go.

Submitted by Yozz at 2009-09-03 12:45:51 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

People look at me funny when I tell them "I like monkeys with guns." ESPECIALLY when I say it in french.

Submitted by S.I. Co. at 2009-09-03 12:44:15 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

Also, while that kid has a decent idea he's leagues behind companies well footed in this take off arena. I'm invested into this company already: http://www.originoil.com/ . Exxon-Mobil has already donated $30+ mill into anyone who develops a system and there already are dozens of start-up companies. Algae-to-oil isn't a new concept but people who believed in ethanol were stupid because the land-to-energy-to-foodcost-subsidized-output ratios were just not economical. Algae produces something along the lines of 70% biomass to fuel ratio where corn was in the 14% neighborhood. The opportunities abound and because this kid ripped off some ideas doesn't mean he's deserving of accolades, just deserving of praise for bringing to the forefront an idea well hidden beneath the stream of other alternative energy ideas like geothermal energy HTM or wave energy OPTT etc. etc.

Man, I'm taxed.

Submitted by monkeyswithguns at 2009-09-03 12:32:19 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2009-09-03 12:14:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

+2 picture
-1 Fluorescent bulbs are a fading trend.
------------------------------------------
True, hadn't thought of that when I wrote that bit. The effects will remain the same though.

Submitted by S.I. Co. at 2009-09-03 12:32:09 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

Sorry, HB-LED...

And fuck, I was going to buy stock in VECO when it was at ~$4-5 and now that fucker is at $21+ Why I never fucking have enough balls to pull the trigger on stocks like these is beyond me.

Submitted by S.I. Co. at 2009-09-03 12:14:49 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

+2 picture
-1 Fluorescent bulbs are a fading trend. Mark my word. Mark it carefully. Everything will be HD LED before long. Not only do you have a serious reduction in power draw, but the longevity of the bulb far outweighs any halogen or alternative lighting, not to mention is in staging of producing factory lighting, city street lighting, and a myriad of other applications. HD, I don't know specifically about that but I guess it creates candlepower high enough for....who the fuck knows?

Check out companies like CREE or VECO for more in depth analysis.

Submitted by Caulaincourt at 2009-09-03 11:52:58 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

+2 picture

Submitted by TuTs at 2009-09-03 11:49:37 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2009-09-03 23:44:41 WST (#)
Ranking: 0

Submitted by TuTs (user info) at 2009-09-03 11:41:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

I would say that my fantasy life is as rich and interesting and rewarding as my real life.
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I'm very happy for you.
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Thank you.


Submitted by monkeyswithguns at 2009-09-03 11:44:41 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by TuTs (user info) at 2009-09-03 11:41:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

I would say that my fantasy life is as rich and interesting and rewarding as my real life.
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I'm very happy for you.

Submitted by TuTs at 2009-09-03 11:41:19 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

I would say that my fantasy life is as rich and interesting and rewarding as my real life.

Submitted by monkeyswithguns at 2009-09-03 11:30:38 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2009-09-03 11:16:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

i'm not reading all that but you take this +2 and have a fantastic fucking day!
-------------------------------------------------
Why thank you sir, I will indeed.

Submitted by MudWhistle at 2009-09-03 11:16:39 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

i'm not reading all that but you take this +2 and have a fantastic fucking day!

Submitted by SgtHartman at 2009-09-03 10:58:03 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

The main problem with this is that I'm now spending too much fantasy time in the laboratory, and not enough in the past riding raptors with my space rifle from my trip to the future and raping the Sabine women to increase the population of Rome.
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arent we fucking ALL


Homer: Hey, Burns! Eat my shorts!

Burns: Who the Sam Hill was that?

One Fish, Two Fish, Blowfish, Blue Fish