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Me of little faith

Submitted by w_t_a_y_s_t_r_m at 2009-09-08 11:39:37 EDT
Rating: 1.41 on 77 ratings (77 reviews) (Review this item) (V)

Believe it or not, I'm not a very religious person. It's not that I believe or don't believe in anything in particular. I just don't really care. Unless one day God floats down and starts talking to me and I can verify it, then I just have zero evidence of anything. I don't rely on blind faith and I refuse to spend my time worrying about what I can't help.

At the end of the day, the situation is either there is a God, he created shit and then let it run wild or sent tests or Jesus or something, in which case, great. Or there isn't a God and everything that's done in his name is a waste. Either way I really don't care.

But at the exact same time I don't care if someone does believe. Just so long as I'm not pressured into accepting something or having an argument about it then fuck it, if it doesn't hurt me or anyone else then it's none of my business. But then there are a minority of each religion who just don't seem to be able to keep the same attitude. They seem unable to just say 'live and let live' and feel a constant need to try and convert me to save my soul or some bollocks like that.

It's a very rare occurrence, and most times I'll just steer clear of them and after a stern look and a series of rapid fire punches to the sack they leave me alone. Because of my attitude I'm pretty nonchalant about churches, going onto holy land and stuff like that, but I try to stay respectful. Mainly because nine times out of ten people are buried in the gardens there and God or not we all know how bad zombies can get.

During the summer one of my girlfriend's best friends was getting married, so we entered the familiar pattern of packing shit up for the sake of two days, travelling on a shitty train to a shitty town to stay in a shitty hotel to go to a shitty wedding with shitty people who I don't know. Shitty.

The pattern is always the same. The morning of the wedding we wake up too late, rush to the hairdressers (fuck you, I've got gorgeous locks). This time the hairdresser even told me I'd probably have the nicest hair amongst the women at the wedding, while she was rubbing her tits against my arm. Don't know if she thought I was gay or was trying to insult me, but she was right.

It was a really hot, sunny day, which I hate, and I was dressed in a suit, which I hate doing, especially on hot days. As you can probably guess I wasn't too excited about this occasion, but the couple who were getting married were nice and they've helped my girlfriend and I out quite a bit when we first moved together, so I did my best to play nice.

As we approached the church I started pissing my girlfriend off by telling her and everyone around that for some reason every time I tried to step foot through the gates I was blocked by something. Then when she literally pulled me through I let out a quiet scream and told her I was burning.

It was at this point that the vicar decided to walk past. I recognised the look on his face. It was one I'm sure I've had many times on my own. It was a "why aren't you talking my job seriously?" face. Except mine is more hurt puppy, his was along the lines of savage hound. In short, he wasn't happy.

This didn't bother me too much, as I'd be able to escape any kind of wrath (his or Gods) in less than an hour after the wedding was over.

Wrong.

I find out on the way to the reception hall that the vicar is in fact the bride's uncle and he would be joining us there.

---

As we all stood around drinking some sort of fruit punch thing at the reception, the bride and groom made the rounds and had photos taken and all that kind of stuff. I was stood with my girlfriend and a few other people we knew, when the natural shift of groups of people mumbling around awkwardly ended up with the vicar talking to Emma, who we knew and they ended up latching to us.

It wasn't long before the vicar was looking at me.

"Hello." He said. "How are you?"

"I'm good, thanks." I replied, more polite than he was to me. Victory to me. Your move, religion. "You?"

"I'm okay." He didn't even say thanks. "I take it you aren't very religious."

"No," I was honest. "Not really. I guess I'm waiting for a sign."

"A sign?"

"Proof. I need some evidence before I can believe in it."

"There's proof all around us." He said. "Even a day like today is a miracle."

"Huh?"

"Such a beautiful, sunny day. Do you not think it's a miracle?"

"Not really. It's just summer, dude."

Next to me I could feel my girlfriend start to tense up. Not sure if it's because I was questioning a vicar on miracles, or because I'd called him dude, but she wasn't very happy with me whatever it was.

"And you do not find that the work of God?"

"The Egyptians use to worship some fella with a falcon head for the sun." I couldn't stop myself. "But I don't really buy into that, either."

To be honest I was a little pissed off. Yes, it was a beautiful day. But I can just say, 'wow, it is pretty hot today, nice one', but this guy seemed to take it as a challenge like I'd just told him his son didn't really draw a picture of a car that he'd stuck to his fridge.

"Just because God hasn't personally come down and told you 'here is the sun', doesn't mean he didn't do it."

"I'm not saying he didn't do it. I'm just saying I don't know." At this point I felt like I had recovered slightly to the point where I wasn't insulting him, but respectfully indifferent to it all.

"Well if he wants you to know," The vicar really wasn't happy now. "He'll make sure you do. If you don't, then there must be a reason." He actually followed this up with a snort, like he was saying I'm not good enough for God to have given me faith or some shit like that. "God does move in mysterious ways."

"So did Charles Starkweather. That's why it took them so long to catch him. Doesn't mean I'm going to worship the psychopath." I muttered, turning away, having had enough of him and wanting to join the other conversation.

There were a few people who overhead that knew who Charles Starkweather was and their jaws just dropped. Those who didn't looked a bit clueless, but word silently spread around. Whether the vicar did or didn't know he still walked a few feet away to talk to someone else, while my girlfriend and the other friends kind of shuffled away a bit as well.

By the end of the night four or five people had approached me and asked if I was the one who 'compared God to a serial killer' in front of a vicar.

I'm damn proud to say "yes, yes I am". And you know what? Still haven't experienced God's vengeance.

Does that mean he doesn't exist?

No, not at all.

What it means is that if he does exist he has better things to do than listen to a whiny little dipshit in England talk smack about him.


God touches naked men.jpg
God touches naked men.jpg


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Submitted by experima at 2010-03-14 08:14:32 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

i haven't read it

but you know i love you

and i will do

when i get out of this nostalgia

that i am stuck in


yes it is as bad as you may have feared

ubersite is a curse

Submitted by sandmantate at 2009-09-13 17:13:26 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2009-09-08 15:21:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Submitted by w_t_a_y_s_t_r_m (user info) at 2009-09-08 13:48:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

I'm not bent out of shape about someone commenting on it.

I get pissed off that someone can't just leave me to my lack of faith, instead of trying to convince that every blade of grass or ray of sunshine is God's work.

But I do agree that I was an asshole, but I would never deny that

---------------

People should mind their own business when it comes to faith, but your little stunt wasn't you minding your own business it was you going out of your way to mock their faith, and the ceremony. While the vicar's aproach was clumsy it wasn't nearly as rude as yours.


--------------------------------------------------

Yeah! How very dare you mock a religion!? This isn't just any religion, this is the important one! I mean, you can mock jews and hindus and greeks, but NOT THIS ONE!

Also, weddings are religious ceremonies! Specific to this religion! The important religion! The other weddings aren't real weddings. Asshole!

Submitted by negligent007 at 2009-09-13 11:18:54 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Submitted by Spam at 2009-09-11 02:02:12 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

Submitted by iambetteratit at 2009-09-10 21:19:35 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Is adam on the roids? He's got a weener the size of a cheeto, and a crazed look in his eye.

Submitted by NerfHerder at 2009-09-10 18:34:05 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Nah, people need to give more of a fuck about what others believe. If it really does cause all that war and bullshit and destruction all us atheists say it does, then we'd be pretty damn hypocritical not to change some minds where we see the opportunity.

Granted, there will always be hardliners who won't shift no matter what logic you throw at them (1,000,000 on the faithometer). But plenty of folks believe in god just because everyone else (their family) does, because if they don't they could go to hell for all eternity (although its silly to think a soul even exists, let alone could experience pain in any way without a nervous system) or maybe for political reasons nowadays. You could make an argument that those bitches are just superpussies and deserve to believe in their grown up Santa Claus if they're stupid enough to delude themselves. But when they make up the majority of the world and fuck everything else up for us normal animals it's just not ideal.

Christians have all those fluffy clouds to look forward to after a shitty life. But us reasonable atheists know that this one lifetime is all we've got to enjoy the crazy playground and we don't want any snotty ass Christians getting in the way. So convert them all into godless heathens or keep suffering.

Submitted by HurtByTheSun at 2009-09-10 12:22:22 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by scourge at 2009-09-10 12:03:38 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

eh, i guess i think indo has some valid points.

but really people all need to give a great deal less of a fuck what other people choose to believe in, so...


*shrugs*

Submitted by apollo88 at 2009-09-10 11:06:34 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

religion is bollocks and people who believe in it are stupid or deluded.

fact.


Submitted by lungfish at 2009-09-10 00:03:44 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

"So did Charles Starkweather."

Submitted by indoninja at 2009-09-09 19:32:57 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by w_t_a_y_s_t_r_m (user info) at 2009-09-09 18:50:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Also, wtf?? http://www.ubersite.com/m/123064

The difference being that the wrong person overheard me at mine?

------------------------

One reason.


The second is that what I said was actually funny.


The third is that I wouldn't get offended if someone came up to me later to challenge me on being out of line and pretend that they were they asshole.

Submitted by orphelia at 2009-09-09 19:23:30 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

I always thought YourNameHere was super cool and indo makes valid points on this post.

Religion always gets you heat, well done Nath.


Submitted by w_t_a_y_s_t_r_m at 2009-09-09 19:16:20 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Not sure I buy that, but if it's true it just makes this whole thing even more boring than it was at first.

Fuck this I'm going to bed

Submitted by YourNameHere at 2009-09-09 19:07:58 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

I just did, douchenozzle.

Submitted by no1hasdis at 2009-09-09 19:06:48 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by w_t_a_y_s_t_r_m (user info) at 2009-09-09 19:04:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Submitted by YourNameHere (user info) at 2009-09-09 19:01:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

I thought you were going to shut the fuck up, and then you go trolling through my posts to try and make your point yet again.

---

Yeah but...wait...don't care what you think, you cowardly piece of shit, now fuck off.

Seriously don't know what your obsession is, but it's kind of creepy. Either man up and say who you are or just go away because your opinion counts for less than shit

=====================

He just outed himself right there. YourNameHere is indoninja.

Submitted by w_t_a_y_s_t_r_m at 2009-09-09 19:04:29 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by YourNameHere (user info) at 2009-09-09 19:01:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

I thought you were going to shut the fuck up, and then you go trolling through my posts to try and make your point yet again.

---

Yeah but...wait...don't care what you think, you cowardly piece of shit, now fuck off.

Seriously don't know what your obsession is, but it's kind of creepy. Either man up and say who you are or just go away because your opinion counts for less than shit

Submitted by no1hasdis at 2009-09-09 19:03:24 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by YourNameHere (user info) at 2009-09-09 19:01:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

I thought you were going to shut the fuck up, and then you go trolling through my posts to try and make your point yet again.

=====================================

I never could figure out whose alter this was.

Submitted by no1hasdis at 2009-09-09 19:01:51 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by w_t_a_y_s_t_r_m (user info) at 2009-09-09 18:50:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Also, wtf?? http://www.ubersite.com/m/123064

The difference being that the wrong person overheard me at mine?

=====================================


Hahahhaahahha, STFU indo, you hypocrite!

Submitted by YourNameHere at 2009-09-09 19:01:36 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

I thought you were going to shut the fuck up, and then you go trolling through my posts to try and make your point yet again.

Submitted by kaos-king at 2009-09-09 18:54:47 EDT (#)
Rating: 2



Jesus Fuck, Indo - let it go.

Your righteous indignation has been duly noted.




Submitted by w_t_a_y_s_t_r_m at 2009-09-09 18:50:03 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Also, wtf?? http://www.ubersite.com/m/123064

The difference being that the wrong person overheard me at mine?

Submitted by w_t_a_y_s_t_r_m at 2009-09-09 18:47:32 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Got to be honest, I'm really bored with this arguement and it will just keep going round in circles, which is more boring than the usual shit on the front page.

You think I'm immature and disrespectful, I think you're uptight and missing the point.

I'm just going to agree to disagree.

If that doesn't work, then fuck it, yes you are right with everything you said and blah blah etc blah blah you win blah well done.

Going to shut the fuck up now, because I really have lost any interest.

And, in the immortal words of Al Gore, peace out, ya'll

Submitted by indoninja at 2009-09-09 18:20:29 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Submitted by w_t_a_y_s_t_r_m (user info) at 2009-09-09 16:31:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

"Secondly, I didn't act like an ass at the ceremony. I acted like an ass outside it, before it started. It had absolutely zero impact on the day, and didn't change any of the events. It's like someone talking on their phone outside the cinema. Doesn't matter, but if they do it inside then it's a different matter."

That is your excuse? You weren't actually "in" the church yet? That is complete BS. People walking in and out of the ceremony could see, as you said the vicar walked by. And as for it not mattering tot he actual ceremony, how do you think the Vicar felt? I know you are too cool to care about other peoples religious ceremonies, even when you are invited to witness them, but he plays a pretty big role.


"I might have mocked his faith, I don't deny it, but that doesn't excuse him from disrespecting mine. I've not said at any point that I was in the right on this, but fuck him for trying to push his religion onto me."

You mocked his faith, but that doesn't excuse him for "disrespecting" yours? Actually it does. And questioning you about your faith is hardly competes with the level of disrespect you showed.


"And whenever I've been to a family members funeral people can act however the fuck they want outside of it, before it starts and straight after. Which is exactly what I did."

So you would be cool with your mom seeing someone making a joke about humping your grandmothers body because the mortician is so good, as long as it was outside the actual ceremony?


"I really don't know what your problem is, but if I'm honest I really don't give a fuck. I'm sick of arguing about this, and I've already said that we aren't going to agree on it."

I don't have a problem. I am not a petulant child who demands respect from others when I refuse to give it.

Submitted by w_t_a_y_s_t_r_m at 2009-09-09 16:40:27 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by YourNameHere (user info) at 2009-09-09 16:36:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

But probably not.
Submitted by YourNameHere (user info) at 2009-09-09 16:34:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

I forgot if I rated this.

The front page is so slow lately it's hard to keep track, Nathan.

I guess if I read your posts I might remember.


---

You fucking useless generally, so don't worry about it

Submitted by YourNameHere at 2009-09-09 16:36:14 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

But probably not.

Submitted by YourNameHere at 2009-09-09 16:34:18 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

I forgot if I rated this.

The front page is so slow lately it's hard to keep track, Nathan.

I guess if I read your posts I might remember.

Submitted by w_t_a_y_s_t_r_m at 2009-09-09 16:31:02 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Christ, did you even read the post or just scan over it?

The vicar heard because he was walking past. I didn't notice him because I'm not gifted with telepathy.

Secondly, I didn't act like an ass at the ceremony. I acted like an ass outside it, before it started. It had absolutely zero impact on the day, and didn't change any of the events. It's like someone talking on their phone outside the cinema. Doesn't matter, but if they do it inside then it's a different matter.

I might have mocked his faith, I don't deny it, but that doesn't excuse him from disrespecting mine. I've not said at any point that I was in the right on this, but fuck him for trying to push his religion onto me.

And whenever I've been to a family members funeral people can act however the fuck they want outside of it, before it starts and straight after. Which is exactly what I did.

I really don't know what your problem is, but if I'm honest I really don't give a fuck. I'm sick of arguing about this, and I've already said that we aren't going to agree on it.

Submitted by indoninja at 2009-09-09 15:33:05 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Submitted by w_t_a_y_s_t_r_m (user info) at 2009-09-09 14:03:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

By everyone around I meant the five friends that we had gone with. I wasn't stood shouting as loudly as I could at everyone's friends and family. But I didn't say that, so I can understand the misunderstanding on that element.

I go to places and events all the time and take the piss out of them. I'm sure a lot of people do. Why should a religious ceremony be any different to a meeting or the cinema? Why should it be that much more precious? Yes, I decided to go, because they were friends getting married. I wasn't mocking their wedding or them. It's not as if I went up to them and laughed at their decision to get married in a church. I was messing around with some friends. I wasn't being serious with it.

I've got no issue with saying that I was being inappropriate or possibly offensive in some manner.

And the point that I got 'butthurt' is when I told him that I wasn't religious and he decided to prove why I should be.

Would this be the same if I'd approached him and asked him if he was religious? And then he tells me of course I start to tell him he's got no prove and he shouldn't bother, or persuade him that he's on the wrong path? Or would I be just as right then as I am wrong now?

The fact is that we aren't going to agree on this.

And congratulations on being too mature to mess around. I bet you're a barrel of laughs to hang around.

-------------

If only the friends around you could hear, how did the Vicar hear you?

Why should a religious ceremony be different than a movie? Are you kidding me? Nevermind one being something you paid money for to enjoy with its own set of rules vice something you were invited to share with the assumption you wouldn't act like an ass. How would you feel if peopel attending the funeral of a family member treated it liek a movie theatre?

You keep trying to pin it on the Vicar for approaching you about religion but you started it by mocking his faith. It isn't as if he rang the bell on your house and started talking about jesus. You went to the church and you tried to play a completely unoriginal joke.

The fact is you acted like a dick the vicar questioned you on it and you are pretending like he was bothering you for no reason.

Too mature to mess around? I still laugh at farts sometimes, I just realize there is a time and place.

Submitted by forensicgirl3 at 2009-09-09 14:34:50 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I'm tellin' ya, tipsy is the best way to deal with this.

Minister/Vicar/Preacher/Priest/Etc: "As the Bible clearly states, homosexuals will not inherit the kingdom of god. Why, we have to look no further than the account of Sodom and Gomorrah. Lot, being the only righteous man present, even went so far as to offer up his virgin daughters to the sex-crazed crowd of homosexual men when they demanded that he send out his angelic visitors to be raped. This was so offensive to God that he destroyed every inhabitant of those two sinful cities."

Voice in my head 1: What?! Righteous?! We are talking about the same dude who had sex with his daughters, right?

Voice in my head 2: Technically no. See, they got him drunk first.

Voice in my head 3: Still, he did try to throw his girls out to the mob to get raped. You'd think angels would be better equipped to defend themselves rather than two girls.

Voice in my head 4: Allegedly they were all gay so the two girls might have been ok.

Voice in my head 1: Wait, why are we even talking about this?! It's all bullshit!

Voice in my head 2: Why else do you think we have a few shots beforehand?

Voice in my head 3 & 4: True true.


Me: Uh....amen?

Submitted by w_t_a_y_s_t_r_m at 2009-09-09 14:03:45 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

By everyone around I meant the five friends that we had gone with. I wasn't stood shouting as loudly as I could at everyone's friends and family. But I didn't say that, so I can understand the misunderstanding on that element.

I go to places and events all the time and take the piss out of them. I'm sure a lot of people do. Why should a religious ceremony be any different to a meeting or the cinema? Why should it be that much more precious? Yes, I decided to go, because they were friends getting married. I wasn't mocking their wedding or them. It's not as if I went up to them and laughed at their decision to get married in a church. I was messing around with some friends. I wasn't being serious with it.

I've got no issue with saying that I was being inappropriate or possibly offensive in some manner.

And the point that I got 'butthurt' is when I told him that I wasn't religious and he decided to prove why I should be.

Would this be the same if I'd approached him and asked him if he was religious? And then he tells me of course I start to tell him he's got no prove and he shouldn't bother, or persuade him that he's on the wrong path? Or would I be just as right then as I am wrong now?

The fact is that we aren't going to agree on this.

And congratulations on being too mature to mess around. I bet you're a barrel of laughs to hang around.

Submitted by no1hasdis at 2009-09-09 13:31:51 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

Wasn't particularly funny. While better than a lot of the crap lately, it is you, so you're up against a higher standard.

And I hate to say it, but indo does have some good points there.

Submitted by forensicgirl3 at 2009-09-09 13:29:53 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

After the service in the meeting house my brother and I got into a fight over who got to use the bathroom next. Some hippy broke it up and described how quakers were pascifists and shoudl never fight especially in the meeting house. I said, "it's ok I am catholic" sucker punched my brother and ran in to take a piss.

======


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Submitted by indoninja at 2009-09-09 13:09:10 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Submitted by w_t_a_y_s_t_r_m (user info) at 2009-09-09 08:31:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

You're making it sound like I rocked up, headbutted the vicar, pissed in the font and then raped the mother of the bride.

I was making a joke with my girlfriend and a few of her friends when we got to the church, which the vicar overheard and took exception to it.

When he called me out on it later, I was honest and said I'm not into religion because I don't see any proof of it. He was the one who couldn't accept that I'm not devote and tried to persuade me otherwise.

I've met vicars who I get along with just fine, and became drinking buddies with one in my old village on the odd occasion. He was a great guy, never tried to make me believe what he believed and when I told him I'm not into the whole thing he accepted it and then we started talking about something else.

I readily admit that I made flippant comments at first by mentioning Ra, but because I wanted to make it clear that I wasn't interested in hearing anything more about it.

----------------------------------------------

A joke with your girlfriend and her friends that, in your words "everyone around could hear". You capped off your performance with a little scream. You were a complete douchenozzle, and deserved to be grilled after acting like that at a religious ceremony.

I remmeber when I was little and my brother and I were visiting my uncle who was dabbling in Quakerism at the time. He invited us to go to a service and my parents forced us to attend with him and his wife. After the service in the meeting house my brother and I got into a fight over who got to use the bathroom next. Some hippy broke it up and described how quakers were pascifists and shoudl never fight especially in the meeting house. I said, "it's ok I am catholic" sucker punched my brother and ran in to take a piss. That was disrespectful and a dick move. Difference is I was 8 and I was forced to go.

I don't take issue with you being "flippant" about Ra, I take issue with you being fine with going to a religious ceremony, mocking it and then getting butt hurt when people want to ask you about faith. And the worst part is, that isn't even funny. Oh sure it was all the rage when I was in elementary school and had just seen exorcist. I bet you kill at childrens birthday parties with knock-knock jokes.

Submitted by iddqd at 2009-09-09 11:07:19 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

boring.

didnt read it all. it was boring from the first sentence.

boring


.

Submitted by orphelia at 2009-09-09 08:36:17 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

racist**

Submitted by orphelia at 2009-09-09 08:34:47 EDT (#)
Rating: 0


I've met vicars who I get along with just fine, and became drinking buddies with one in my old village on the odd occasion

----------------------

LOL

I am not racsit I have black friends!! I go out of my way to treat them no differently!!

Submitted by w_t_a_y_s_t_r_m at 2009-09-09 08:31:13 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

You're making it sound like I rocked up, headbutted the vicar, pissed in the font and then raped the mother of the bride.

I was making a joke with my girlfriend and a few of her friends when we got to the church, which the vicar overheard and took exception to it.

When he called me out on it later, I was honest and said I'm not into religion because I don't see any proof of it. He was the one who couldn't accept that I'm not devote and tried to persuade me otherwise.

I've met vicars who I get along with just fine, and became drinking buddies with one in my old village on the odd occasion. He was a great guy, never tried to make me believe what he believed and when I told him I'm not into the whole thing he accepted it and then we started talking about something else.

I readily admit that I made flippant comments at first by mentioning Ra, but because I wanted to make it clear that I wasn't interested in hearing anything more about it.

Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB at 2009-09-09 08:16:33 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

I'm indifferent to your indifference to faith.

Photo caption: "Pull my finger!"

Submitted by indoninja at 2009-09-09 07:50:40 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2009-09-09 06:53:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2


Indoninja... once again brandishing his mighty keyboard for God & Country!!!


-------------

Outside of marriages and baptisms I haven't been to church in over 10 years.

Outside holidays with the family it is closer to 20.

I don't give a rats ass if someone makes fun of religion, but if you go to a religious ceremony because you care about the people having it then you are either a piss poor friend or an inconsiderate cunt if you can't keep from publicly mocking the religion.

If you disliked the person who was having the ceremony, great mock away, but what kind of pathetic loser goes to a wedding of someone he doesn't like?

Submitted by EmissionImpossible at 2009-09-09 07:40:00 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2009-09-09 11:53:46 BST (#)
Ranking: 2


Indoninja... once again brandishing his mighty keyboard for God & Country!!!
-------------
ok we get it KK, sarcasm is the lowest form of wit.

Submitted by orphelia at 2009-09-09 07:35:17 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

you christen your baby for the piss up sexual, that is all.

Submitted by sexualchocolate1984 at 2009-09-09 07:16:16 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Loved it Nath! I had the argument with my Dad about how I'm not getting my Son Christened because it would involve me making a hypocrytical, unfair decision for my unborn (or by then very young) child and a promise to something i don't believe exists.

i have issues with religion and God, i was forced to go to church for YEARS and as soon as the decision became mine i opted out.

The whole thing is a fucking sham! "God said this, jeebus said that, this is the word of the lord" - bullshit! These are the words of a preachers power hungry followers, written to put their own spin on his words and to try to claim glory and power for themselves.

Jesus did exist but he was not the son of God he was a Buddhist who went over to jewland and amended Buddhism to fit with jewish beleifs and created Christianity. Then, his followers wrote their bias recollections of selected things he said and used that to create their own cult, which has spread over a large portion of the world and has corrupted millions of minds. Has anyone ever seen the gospel according to Jesus? - (Did they find this in the desert buried? Or was that just on that film, the Stigmata???)

Seriously, if you belive in God and all that shit, then fair do's, I think you're just weak and need some kind of explanation to get through your biological life, and fair enough, some people can't deal with the fact that we're just animals, a random result, or even just a stage in evolution and need to believe that we've been put here on purpose, that we are special, but i don't and i certainly don't want you, the lesser being in my opinion, telling me that I need to be misled in the same way you've been.

Organized religion is the cancer of our entire race. 99% of the worlds problems are caused by organized religion, and capitalism. Wierd how they are both so prevalent, yet contradict each other so.

Huh.

Submitted by kaos-king at 2009-09-09 06:53:46 EDT (#)
Rating: 2


Indoninja... once again brandishing his mighty keyboard for God & Country!!!



Submitted by TuTs at 2009-09-09 06:20:20 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Why did people in those days all have such small dicks?

Was it lead poisoning? Lack of protein? Syphilis? Inbreeding?

Submitted by reginajacks at 2009-09-09 04:13:17 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by Gayvid_Gerrold at 2009-09-09 03:57:07 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Fuck you.

Submitted by AshK at 2009-09-08 22:51:19 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by catscradle at 2009-09-08 21:32:49 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Good.

Submitted by Snark at 2009-09-08 21:04:58 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

As if all the naked people surrounding him aren't enough, the old guy in the pink dress has to touch one more.

Submitted by apollo88 at 2009-09-08 19:16:44 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

all vicars are smarmy cunts.

fact.


Submitted by firefly at 2009-09-08 19:03:21 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by whiskey_jack at 2009-09-08 18:42:57 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Try going to university at a southern US college. I usually don't argue much with people, as it's typically a waste of time, but it is amusing and almost scary how so many of the "devote" people can't grasp the concept I'm not religious. Many have actually not encountered people who aren't atleast somewhat religious.

Submitted by pandora at 2009-09-08 17:56:01 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by Nath (w_t_a_y_s_t_r_m) (View user info) at 2009-09-08 11:39:37 EDT

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As we approached the church I started pissing my girlfriend off by telling her and everyone around that for some reason every time I tried to step foot through the gates I was blocked by something. Then when she literally pulled me through I let out a quiet scream and told her I was burning.

------------------------------------------

This bit made me giggle. I always do that whenever I touch the doorknob to a church: Make sizzling noise, scream "ARGH!!", jerk hand away. Great comic relief for funerals.




Submitted by Sage at 2009-09-08 17:53:53 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I liked this story, and I guess I'd just like to say that as a person who does believe in God, I have zero problem with those who don't. I choose to believe just as others choose not to believe. It's free will, or freedom of choice, or whatever you want to call it.

Unfortunately, a double standard exists. Just as there are those of the Christian religion who beat people over the head with a Bible and consider those without faith stupid or weak or whatever, there are those who have agnostic or atheistic beliefs and consider Christians idiotic and simple minded fucks who believe in a fairy tale. It's equally annoying to be chastised for your faith as it is to be chastised for your lack of it.

I've been on both sides, being judged by fellow Christians for fornicating, drunkenness, drug use, disrespect for authority, etc and being judged by tons of nonbelievers or branded a fool because I do believe.

Meh. That's all I've got to say about that.


<3 ya, Nath.

Submitted by YourNameHere at 2009-09-08 15:57:42 EDT (#)
Rating: -1

Submitted by Ducky at 2009-09-08 15:23:16 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by indoninja at 2009-09-08 15:21:47 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by w_t_a_y_s_t_r_m (user info) at 2009-09-08 13:48:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

I'm not bent out of shape about someone commenting on it.

I get pissed off that someone can't just leave me to my lack of faith, instead of trying to convince that every blade of grass or ray of sunshine is God's work.

But I do agree that I was an asshole, but I would never deny that

---------------

People should mind their own business when it comes to faith, but your little stunt wasn't you minding your own business it was you going out of your way to mock their faith, and the ceremony. While the vicar's aproach was clumsy it wasn't nearly as rude as yours.


Submitted by monkeyswithguns at 2009-09-08 14:43:46 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Reminds me of when my sister got married. My brother in law's brothers are both pastors, and I was asked by one of them why I wasn't involved in church.

I went on to tell them that I could never trust anyone who said they knew the difference between right and wrong, or who would pretend to be a speaker in God's name, and proceeded to go on about how it was (and technically still is, albeit a widely practiced one) a cult.

I didn't find out they were pastors until the day after the wedding.

Submitted by w_t_a_y_s_t_r_m at 2009-09-08 14:16:00 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

fg, if you can get hold of that paper email it to me. i'd love to read.

my original plan was to get stoned before going along, but when i told jo she kind of got pissed at me. she doesn't mind me getting stoned, she doesn't mind me comparing the great creator to mickey knox, but for some reason i can't combine the two

Submitted by cheerios at 2009-09-08 14:11:07 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

hilarious.

my views on religion are different, i believe there is a god, but again its not set in stone or anything, and i wouldn't get angry about a discussion like that guy did. and i do agree there is no way god, if he's real, would ever care about some puny humans talking shit about him.

Submitted by kaos-king at 2009-09-08 14:10:57 EDT (#)
Rating: 2


"... was the one who 'compared God to a serial killer' in front of a vicar."

Awesome.



Submitted by forensicgirl3 at 2009-09-08 14:09:41 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Nath-

I've taken to downing a couple (maybe three) of shots of tequila before going to anything remotely religious. It helps with the bullshit seizures, you see. Also it makes me seem happily complacent even though my mind is screaming "AAARGH!"

And before you think I'm bad, you ought to meet my dear friend Cat. In college, she wrote a series of papers with such titles as "Defending Judas," "Why the Abrahamic faiths need the devil," and a really scathing paper on Mother Teresa.


My favorite one was "Defending Judas" because I remember asking the same questions when I was a child. The only difference is I got in a lot of trouble and she got an A.

The bitch.

Submitted by EmissionImpossible at 2009-09-08 14:05:33 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

the perfect relationship.

now to start sniffing coke off hookers arse cracks


test those limits

Submitted by w_t_a_y_s_t_r_m at 2009-09-08 14:01:02 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Not really. I knew she wasn't happy, but it was soon forgotten.

I think I've reached that perfect point where she doesn't expect much more from me, so result there

Submitted by EmissionImpossible at 2009-09-08 13:54:20 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

did your gf have a quiet word when you got home?

Submitted by w_t_a_y_s_t_r_m at 2009-09-08 13:48:55 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

I'm not bent out of shape about someone commenting on it.

I get pissed off that someone can't just leave me to my lack of faith, instead of trying to convince that every blade of grass or ray of sunshine is God's work.

But I do agree that I was an asshole, but I would never deny that

Submitted by TheStitch at 2009-09-08 13:10:40 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Heretic!!!!!!!

How DARE you think zombies are bad?!?! They're so cute and cuddly! And it just melts my heart when they let out a little zombie burp and it smells like brain.








Submitted by Chroniclysm at 2009-09-08 13:08:22 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by indoninja at 2009-09-08 12:54:41 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Hairdresser?!?!


So you went to a religious ceremony mocked religion and are bent out of shape that someone commented on it? While those were some witty come backs you wrote you are still the asshole.

Submitted by EmissionImpossible at 2009-09-08 12:37:39 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

fg you perv

Submitted by willartstorg at 2009-09-08 12:37:31 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2009-09-08 12:26:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Have you noticed that Adam's wang is like REALLY REALLY tiny?****

Don't want it draggin' on the ground an' shit. Little kids be gettin' hurt on that motherfucker!

Submitted by forensicgirl3 at 2009-09-08 12:26:01 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Have you noticed that Adam's wang is like REALLY REALLY tiny?

Submitted by HellRazer at 2009-09-08 12:24:35 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Great post, great filename. An all around winner. +2 x infinity.

Submitted by forensicgirl3 at 2009-09-08 12:22:30 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I know you think he's sold out now, but I love Eddie Izzard's...



Vicar! I have done many bad things.

So have I. [shrugs]

Well, what should I do?

Drink 5 Bloody Mary's... and you won't remember.


or

Father, bless me for I have sinned, I did an original sin… I poked a badger with a spoon.




I have "Pokes badgers with spoons" stickers on my monitor, taped up inside my car's window, and on my fridge.

Submitted by Ms_Ann_Thropic at 2009-09-08 12:18:33 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

As much as I didn't want to, I laughed at your comparison. And I LOVE Jeebus.

Submitted by EmissionImpossible at 2009-09-08 11:49:43 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

wow thats a HUGE penis, im jealous :(

oh and for those who dont know, i had my wisdom tooth out today and ive just bled all over my pillow :(

Submitted by Snark at 2009-09-08 11:46:41 EDT (#)
Rating: 2


Marge: You don't have to join a freak show just because the
opportunity came along.

Homer: You know, Marge, in some ways you and I are very different
people.

Homerpalooza