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That is the level of their all-consuming hatred of the properly elected American President.
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ADD - Subtract

Submitted by Soyware at 2009-09-14 01:32:24 EDT
Rating: 1.6 on 13 ratings (13 reviews) (Review this item) (V)

“Just kill it,” I tell him, adding that he was an asshole after a brief pause.

“What? You said I could have a few drags,” he protests.

“Ya, that means have a few drags, not finish my last damn clove. You know how often you find cloves? Fucking never!”

“What about your friend who ships stuff from Europa? Those aren't illegal yet over there.”

“Right, I'll get Peyley to smuggle a single pack of cloves past customs, risking everything he's carrying, so I can smoke some perfume.”

“Well if it's so insignificant, don't bite my head off.”

“I should rip your irritating head off and throw it out the back!” I bellow as loud as my voice will shout, but not quite loud enough to cover that ominous metal on metal clink.

We both freeze, not wanting to look anywhere near the sensors, but we do. They tell us that nothing bigger than an ant is within 500km, but we both know exactly what we just heard. The absence of a readout just confirmed it. Another clink sounds on the hull, this time from the other side of the storage deck. It echoes off the bulkheads and stings our ears like feedback from a public address system.

“We're gonna die,” my crewman blurts out, scared as a rodent.

“Shut up and call distress!” I tell him, coming to my senses. “And work the radar until you get something! I want to know what I'm up against.”

I'm already out of the cockpit when I finish my sentence, and the ship starts shuddering around me. They're impatient, probably didn't help that we started broadcasting an emergency right away. Fucking pirates, can't let a man go anywhere.

The weapons locker never felt smart to me. Why have assault rifles on a craft that could depressurize when you fire them? This is why, apparently. In a minute the main cargo door's going to fly open, sucking out our shipments and filling the space with a raiding party.

“One thing you should know, sir” comes my hired hand over the intercom, “it's not personal.”

I can't believe my ears, but as I stick my head into the hall, it's irrefutable. I glimpse the rat bastard shrugging nonchalantly for a split second before the cockpit door closes. I've been betrayed. Shock gives way to urgency again, but this time with a different plan in mind. My ship's about to be torn up anyway, what'll a door matter? Eying the fire extinguishers I start to grin uncontrollably. Besides, I've got a minute.

lets go space truckin.jpg
lets go space truckin.jpg

Review This Item




Submitted by monkeyswithguns at 2009-09-23 17:55:52 EDT (#)
Rating: 2


Submitted by beeltea at 2009-09-16 21:42:43 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

426! Very nice.

Submitted by monkeyswithguns at 2009-09-16 09:31:03 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by kaos-king at 2009-09-14 20:48:45 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by AshK at 2009-09-14 18:10:38 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by Soyware at 2009-09-14 16:59:53 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

I was thinking something along the lines of blowing open the door and killing his helper

But I did leave it open ended

Oh ya, that blip I wrote a while ago wasn't supposed to be stand alone, but I forgot to finish part 2

Submitted by Fey at 2009-09-14 16:44:55 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

What does s/he do with her/is minute?

Submitted by Soyware at 2009-09-14 16:26:37 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

I wrote it for fun, but you're right, every time I look at something the next day I see a few things I want to change.

Most things I put down do sort of drop right in the middle of something...

Submitted by ghola at 2009-09-14 16:13:35 EDT (#)
Rating: -1

your writing isn't very clear. this could perhaps be cleared up with editing.

people don't want criticism on uber.

if you just wrote this for fun, ignore me.

Submitted by X54 at 2009-09-14 15:12:30 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

Should have been a +2, but I'm considering entering the ADD contest myself and I don't want to jeapardize my chances of winning.

Submitted by HurtByTheSun at 2009-09-14 09:20:56 EDT (#)
Rating: 2


Submitted by TuTs at 2009-09-14 06:07:14 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I love the alien pirate.

Submitted by Ducky at 2009-09-14 05:04:14 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Where is Bart, anyway? His dinner's getting all cold and eaten.

-- Homer Simpson
Bart After Dark