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Toilet(s) Update: Still working.

Submitted by apollo88 at 2009-09-23 01:00:51 EDT
Rating: 1.15 on 36 ratings (36 reviews) (Review this item) (V)

I had a little bit of a tricky moment when we had people over Sunday as the handle broke on the one in the main floor. By cunningly looking at it, running upstairs and looking at the working one I was able to deduce the issue and emerge, triumphant with the sound of a flushing toilet and cheers ringing in my ears! Needless to say the one downstairs is still working flawlessly.

I slapped the jewess on the bottom, gave her a leery wink and strutted over to my mimosa (bucks fizz) to give it a manly sip.

To confirm my manliness I then watch Man Utd outrageously and hilariously make Man City cry then watch the Texans spectacularly fail to implode and actually win a game in the 4th quarter.

Magic.

Even manlier was the fact that I was battling off swine flu at the time. Or so I thought after work made me go get tested but it turns out it isn't. I do have bronchitis and got some cough medicine which, after slugging, I noticed had hydrocodone in. Jackpot! Perhaps shouldn't have slugged so much but I do have a pleasant feeling of good will towards all men*.

Anecdotal really, but I thought I'd share.

Kisses,

apollo88







*except Ricky 'Losing the Ashes Still Hurts' Ponting. Of course if fucking hurts still you insane narcissist. Its been three fucking weeks (ish). If it wasn't for your inept captaining even the worst Aussie team in decades would have beaten us. You are almost more intolerable in defeat than you are in victory. I'd love to slap your fucking smug little face and shove that 'green baggy' up your absurd stunted little arse. I even don't fucking care how good a batsman you are. Nobody outside of your clique of cunts (and by no means the majority of Aussie's belong to said clique (which is pronounced cleek not click you dumb American cunts and whilst (yes fucking whilst) I'm at it it's neesh not nitch for niche) from what I've heard). Everyone forgets because you are a complete and utter wanker of the first degree.

Exhale.









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Submitted by fuck you at 2016-12-16 09:51:12 EST (#)
Rating: -2

Submitted by F.J.Bell at 2009-09-24 06:49:34 EDT (#)
Rating: 2


I slapped the jewess on the bottom, gave her a leery wink and strutted over to my mimosa (bucks fizz) to give it a manly sip.


You're a real man's man.

Submitted by TuTs at 2009-09-24 03:59:33 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2009-09-24 13:55:46 WST (#)
Ranking: 0

Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2009-09-24 01:39:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2009-09-23 01:13:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

What happened between you finishing Uni and getting your first job (like, career job)? Did you have it all sorted before you graduated?

I'm just getting to that stage and it's freaking me out. I'd like to know how it went for someone who ended up (financially) successful.


---

oh yeah, and - congrats on just coming into the workforce and looking for a 'career' job that isnt resource-based at the worst time since the depression. my girlfriend has a masters in publishing and is keen as fucking mustard, as well as being (dont tell her i said this) pretty fucking bright also, and has been in approximately 12 interviews in the last few months. what sucks is she has to feel 'awesome' just about getting the interviews: last one she went for, there were 140-ish applicants and only 5 got an interview. didnt get the fucking job though.

my advice, dont sweat it if you can get one right away, and dont be in a massive rush to lock yourself into the thing youll be doing for around 40 years of your life. be prepared to get paid utter shite for the first couple, but use that time to make the connections youll need to get the next job that actually pays well, and thus begin your little rodent climb up the ladder.
==========
Because I did a couple of semesters part time all my friends are graduating now and I'm still going to be there next year. At first I was annoyed with myself, now I don't give a crap because no one is going to get work anyway. Over here in Perth though we are all hoping the Gorgon project employs us all, but more likely floods of you mexicans will come here and steal our jobs ;)

How is the dust, btw?

Submitted by iddqd at 2009-09-24 01:55:46 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2009-09-24 01:39:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2009-09-23 01:13:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

What happened between you finishing Uni and getting your first job (like, career job)? Did you have it all sorted before you graduated?

I'm just getting to that stage and it's freaking me out. I'd like to know how it went for someone who ended up (financially) successful.


---

oh yeah, and - congrats on just coming into the workforce and looking for a 'career' job that isnt resource-based at the worst time since the depression. my girlfriend has a masters in publishing and is keen as fucking mustard, as well as being (dont tell her i said this) pretty fucking bright also, and has been in approximately 12 interviews in the last few months. what sucks is she has to feel 'awesome' just about getting the interviews: last one she went for, there were 140-ish applicants and only 5 got an interview. didnt get the fucking job though.

my advice, dont sweat it if you can get one right away, and dont be in a massive rush to lock yourself into the thing youll be doing for around 40 years of your life. be prepared to get paid utter shite for the first couple, but use that time to make the connections youll need to get the next job that actually pays well, and thus begin your little rodent climb up the ladder.

Submitted by iddqd at 2009-09-24 01:42:16 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

looks like a step up into the world of plumbing awaits, fat head.




and you can substitute much of what you said about ponting (which is mostly correct about him, i hasten to add - though i still actually sorta like the guy) for freddie. seriously, that guy is such a tool, he'd fit right in in the aussie dressing room. and, unlike most of the cricketers you cunts have produced (not bought from the saffas) over the last 25 years, would actually merit being in there on skill also.

Submitted by iddqd at 2009-09-24 01:39:23 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2009-09-23 01:13:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

What happened between you finishing Uni and getting your first job (like, career job)? Did you have it all sorted before you graduated?

I'm just getting to that stage and it's freaking me out. I'd like to know how it went for someone who ended up (financially) successful.

---

the single most important thing in gaining employment is knowing people. connections rule all. how many people are in your graduating class? how many people were in the previous semester's/year's? how many people will be in the next semester's/years?

my point isnt 'boo hoo i dont know anyone and its unfair because im a genius but that dumb bitch got a job cos her dad knows the boss', but rather pretty much everyone in your class can do a job that at the very least roughly approximates what you can do and so are just as likely to get the job as you, based purely on CV. the best and easiest way to make the transition is simply to know people.

try being a writer - you quite simply DONT get jobs without knowing people, its as simple as that.

besides, you did law. the less of you cunts the better.

Submitted by Ducky at 2009-09-23 22:18:26 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

good job on getting your toilet to work, and on working on being manly or whatever.

Submitted by Fucking foul at 2009-09-23 20:41:07 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I built a toilet out of a cardboard shoe box and six rubber bands, so top that, Jew lover

Submitted by corn nugget at 2009-09-23 20:14:25 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I redid a table the other day and felt quite handy, myself.

Submitted by Cakes at 2009-09-23 18:14:43 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2009-09-23 16:38:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0


It's called MacGyvering.

v
v
v


Hahaha
-
And the glass he drank from-- provided it was proportionate to the circumference of his head--was called a Tibetan singing bowl.

Submitted by Jack_McCallum at 2009-09-23 16:38:51 EDT (#)
Rating: 0


It's called MacGyvering.

v
v
v

Submitted by Caulaincourt at 2009-09-23 11:57:43 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

this post reminds me of my hometown. my buddy and i worked on a small farm when we were teenagers. we would spend our weekends trying to fix old skidoos or atv's. we even built a 12 feet rowboat from a 8x8 cedar beam.

this stuff was awesome. but when you live in urban areas, you're never equiped for those things so it's always a hassle to fix the slightest thing.

for instance, the other day i was trying to put back a 100+ pounds commercial door back in it's hinges so i was using a shovel as a lever, pushing with one feet, one hand adjusting the door and a kitchen knife to hold down the upper hinge bolt...anyway, i looked like a godamn funambulist and i felt like a urban homo cuz i had less access to proper tools than when i was 12.

Submitted by firefly at 2009-09-23 11:50:58 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

yay!

Submitted by Jack_McCallum at 2009-09-23 11:29:54 EDT (#)
Rating: 2


I'm there with you Apollo - all thumbs. Your next step should be getting those toilet seats that have little locking thingys where the seat screws on - then you, uh, I mean the maid, can easily remove the seat for easier cleaning. Oh, and put a little waterproof grease on that shaft thing the floater thing rides up and down on.

I replaced my dying bathroom faucet on Sunday. Got a nice shiny new one. I was ridiculously proud of myself.

Submitted by X54 at 2009-09-23 11:28:04 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Ha ha. A manly sip of your mimosa. Sort of epitomizes the whole affair, doesn't it?

Submitted by skrapmetal at 2009-09-23 10:53:57 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2009-09-23 06:48:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

You'll really feel manly when you take on the garbage disposal.
-----
Coincidentally, that is my task for this evening. Apparently, pendo palm seeds don't grind well.

Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin at 2009-09-23 09:26:45 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I highly suggest drinking the entire bottle of cough syrup in one sitting. Wait, you won't die from that. I think. I'll get back to you on this.

Submitted by AJ at 2009-09-23 08:14:45 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

This is my favorite series on Ubersite.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2009-09-23 07:49:16 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

I bet I could break it.

Submitted by LittleMonster at 2009-09-23 07:03:37 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by forensicgirl3 at 2009-09-23 06:48:10 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

You'll really feel manly when you take on the garbage disposal.

Submitted by skrapmetal at 2009-09-23 06:27:07 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

A colleague of mine has borrowed my biscuit jointer to repair a broken stair tread. It is his first real attempt at homeownerly manliness (except possibly that of planting a garden, during which he cut into a sprinkler line). He is... not mechanically inclined. I instructed him on it's use and made him test it on a couple of pieces of 2x4 in the shop. It remains to be seen if he will triumph in his endeavor as you have, or if I will be rinsing his blood and bits of fingerflesh off the blade.

Submitted by w_t_a_y_s_t_r_m at 2009-09-23 06:05:43 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

well done. you get 5 manpoints, bringing your total up to a respectable 3.

at least you're out of the red now

Submitted by GroundHorse at 2009-09-23 05:47:33 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I see you have expanded your world of happiness with another room.
One day you might even discover a whole world outside, champ.

</babysteps>

Submitted by Dervel at 2009-09-23 04:44:58 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

The hot tap in my kitchen used to run really really slow, about 18 months after I bought the place it had annoyed me enough to have a look. Turns out the connector hose had a kink in it so I bought a new one from Wickes for about £4 and fitted it. Took 5 minutes.

I can't believe how easy it was or how long I'd put up with it for.

A week later I fitted an outside tap.
The day after that I had to take my trousers to a tailor to accommodate my new testicles.

I honestly don't mind Ponting, strangely I get really annoyed by Chris Gayle and his rubbish heart condition.

I might have a man-crush on Daniel Vettori...

Submitted by scourge at 2009-09-23 04:19:20 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

yeah, well, and a 'boot' is something to keep cowshit off your feet, not the place we put the hooker corpses, so... eh whatever.

speaking of boots, the guy next door with the stone saw and the conservative talk radio at full blast is getting one square in the sac tomorrow if he doesn't cut this shit out.

Submitted by TuTs at 2009-09-23 02:44:34 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

and you know what Apollo, Ricky Ponting is the most used person in Australia for endorsements and advertising. At one point there every second ad featured his little gnome face smiling about vitamins or oil or laxatives.

Submitted by Caulaincourt at 2009-09-23 02:28:41 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

yes, i am, only on sunny days though.

with that in mind, i should hit the bed if i want to bike to work tomorrow.

have a good one

Submitted by apollo88 at 2009-09-23 02:26:05 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

you're welcome.

I've oft used an uber phrase or two.

Are you still riding your bike to work?


Submitted by joedaddy at 2009-09-23 02:21:25 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

the bathtub fixtures always appreciate a well functioning toilet

Submitted by Caulaincourt at 2009-09-23 02:10:48 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

wow, that's old stuff.

i stole one of your joke the other day. i grossed out my gf by telling her my mom would give me "des bains spéciaux"

http://www.ubersite.com/m/74302#1563633

Submitted by apollo88 at 2009-09-23 01:59:07 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

yes my friend! I felt 10 feet tall!

I was thinking about you the other day, made me smile, when you kept commenting 'Biscuits de Sables!' on my posts like being English we should know the fuck what it was!

Don't know why it popped into my head but it did.


Submitted by Caulaincourt at 2009-09-23 01:50:21 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

fixing toilets is very rewarding.

mine flushes better since i poured CLR in the overflow and cleaned the jets one by one.

the pleasure of seeing turds disappearing after only one flush releases more dopamine in my brain than a line of cocaine.

Submitted by Caulaincourt at 2009-09-23 01:40:07 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2009-09-23 01:13:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

What happened between you finishing Uni and getting your first job (like, career job)? Did you have it all sorted before you graduated?

I'm just getting to that stage and it's freaking me out. I'd like to know how it went for someone who ended up (financially) successful.
===
most newbs right out of uni struggle financially but are full of motivation.

after busting their asses off for a couple of years, they eventually get enough experience to get a decent job that allows them to sit back and enjoy a proper paycheck.

usually, it's at this point that they gradually start to hate their career choice but are too comfortable or prisoner of their own lifestyle to make a change.

anyway, things tend to quickly fall in place over time, if you're not a complete moron.

Submitted by shandythedog at 2009-09-23 01:29:25 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

apollo struggled to finish preschool

take it from me, the first thing to do when you graduate is pop down to the dole office and join the queue

Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals at 2009-09-23 01:13:23 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

What happened between you finishing Uni and getting your first job (like, career job)? Did you have it all sorted before you graduated?

I'm just getting to that stage and it's freaking me out. I'd like to know how it went for someone who ended up (financially) successful.


It all happened at the beginning of that turbulent decade known as the
eighties. Those were idealistic days: the candidacy of John Anderson,
the rise of Supertramp. It was an exciting time to be young.

-- Homer Simpson
I Married Marge