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Fly : Shit :: (Pick One)

Submitted by Sage at 2010-02-04 20:08:25 EST
Rating: 1.38 on 57 ratings (57 reviews) (Review this item) (V)

A) Sage : Ubersite
B) You : Sage post

********************

Now that THAT's out of the way, here's a true story.

So I moved to downtown Richmond, VA; specifically, the Manchester district. The Manchester district is just over the James River, and here you'll find a number of old factories turned loft apartments. The original hardwood flooring could use a good refinishing, but my apartment has high ceilings and huge windows with a gorgeous view of the Richmond city skyline. The Manchester district isn't a very established area. As a matter of fact, my building is pretty damn close to some of the rougher parts of Richmond. A couple weeks ago, my brother visited with his girlfriend and they heard someone empty a .40 clip right outside the building. When I walked him to his truck the next morning, we found 9 of the (likely 13) shells, most within a 2-3 foot radius of his truck.

To make matters worse, rent here is pretty inexpensive, which is part of the reason I chose this specific building. It's my first time living alone in this city (I lived alone for some time in Lynchburg) so I wanted something I could manage financially speaking...I didn't want to be broke all the time. That said, there are a ton of fucking weirdos in my building. One in particular lived right next to me. He called himself "Dave".

One morning right before Christmas, I walked out of my apartment to head to work, and found Dave crouching just outside my apartment, just inside his apartment doorway. I was a bit startled...our doors are so close that when I go to unlock mine, my left arm is nearly touching his...but I said "good morning," and went about my business. The very next morning, at the same time, I walked out my door, again heading to work. Dave again was crouching inside his apartment; however this time, he was not wearing any clothing. I think I probably did a double take, mumbled a good morning, and went about my business. I almost texted one of my girlfriends "uh...definitely just saw my creepy fucking neighbor NAKED right outside my door..." but then thought...meh...maybe it's just a coincidence, maybe he likes to walk around his apartment naked (shit...I do). Who gives a fuck, right?

A couple days after that, on a Monday, I had begun my Christmas vacation and did not have to work. I was having furniture delivered and saw him in the elevator holding a couple of bar stools. At first, I did not realize it was my neighbor (since he was actually CLOTHED and wearing a hat), and I complimented the bar stools. After some small talk...me mentioning that I was expecting furniture that day and him mentioning that he lived alone and that it was hard to move furniture by yourself, I asked what apartment he lived in. "417", he said. I probably made a weird face realizing that it was him I had seen naked the other day, and it was kind of a long walk back to my own apartment.

Later that night, I got a knock on the door. Just before that, I had actually gotten the first phone call from the guy I'm seeing and when I saw that it was my creepy neighbor through the peephole, I decided to ignore him and continue our telephone conversation. After about 30 minutes, and Dave still knocking on the door, I ended the conversation and opened the door. There stood Dave, wearing a wife beater and some boxers, fully erect. "Do you have any lotion?" he said. I was a bit aghast of the situation, and being the complete dunce that I am, I stammered, "sure...hang on a sec." I bolt-locked the door and got a bottle of lotion, unlocked the door, and handed it to him, and quickly closed and re-bolted the door. I ended up telling the security guard (off-duty Richmond City Police) what happened, and the officer said she would pay him a visit, telling him to leave me alone. I thought it was a bit excessive, and felt kind of bad for the guy.

Anyway, Christmas came and went. The next weekend, I was alone at my apartment watching the Steelers/Ravens game, when I got yet another knock on the door. I looked out the peephole again, and saw that it was none other than Dave. I could see that he was clothed, so I figured that maybe he was just trying to apologize for creeping me out the other day. When I opened the door, I discovered that Dave was completely pantsless and jacking off. He actually asked, "do you want your lotion back?", to which I replied, "no...and you're gonna have to stop coming to my door like this," and slammed the door in his face.

I ended up calling the non-emergency police number and pressed charges. Dave's real name is unpronounceable by me. He's been evicted from my building. My Dad gave me a Smith & Wesson .38 special 5 round revolver, which I've shot twice at the gun range here. We had court this week and he got the case continued so he could speak with his lawyer.

I can't say I'm not curious as to how he could turn this around and I can't say I'm not worried about it. I guess all I can do is tell the truth. I cant decide whether or not I want to stay in this building, or even this part of town.

Anyway, no Sage post would be complete without a camwhore, right? Since I've been away for some time, have a couple.



No I DONT have any lotion.jpg
No I DONT have any lotion.jpg


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Submitted by JonnyX at 2010-04-19 19:03:35 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2010-04-03 07:43:47 PDT (#)
Ranking: 0

I'll address you this once since you can't let bygones be bygones.

Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2010-04-01 22:46:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

It's been lovely weather for fishing here lately, don't you think?

==========

You relinquished all friendliness that night you renounced our friendship. Remember, that's the night you flipped out because I had another girl over? Since you decided that acting in childishness and stupidity was in your favor instead of acting sanely I don't feel as though this unnecessary banter is going to help you. I did tell you that you could offer an apology and then we can go on being friends but you have too much pride to admit that you acted like a school girl with an obsession.

Remember when I had a tax question here on uber and you swiftly offered me your services? That was pretty arrogant and stupid of you. As if I'm going to help someone's earnings after they renounced our friendship. Hey, I was digging in the bottom of my computer bag the other day and I found one of the love letters you wrote me. It kinda got rained on but I read it anyway. You said you "get me." Maybe si, maybe no.

Anyway, I'm pretty okay to continue our awkward un-correspondence in person until you're ready to apologize to me, you know every time our friends get together. In the mean time, I've already caught fish this year (I know you haven't) so no need to try the peppy approach here. I wish you the best but how about you just not try anymore...you know, unless you're to move forward.
-----
oh my...AWK. WARD.

Sage, honey, believe me when I tell you this...you can do better than that.

Submitted by triangle_man at 2010-04-19 17:55:30 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

If you really have to know, it's because particle man, being so small, is quantum in nature and can be in two places at once. But triangle man thinks in terms of Euclidean geometry, and he wanted to determine whether or not particle man was inside it, outside it, or on a vertex or edge. However, particle man was both inside AND outside triangle man, which triangle man's worldview could not accept, and so particle man had to die.

they have a fight, Triangle Wins!! the end

Submitted by S.I. Co. at 2010-04-03 10:43:47 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

I'll address you this once since you can't let bygones be bygones.

Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2010-04-01 22:46:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

It's been lovely weather for fishing here lately, don't you think?

==========

You relinquished all friendliness that night you renounced our friendship. Remember, that's the night you flipped out because I had another girl over? Since you decided that acting in childishness and stupidity was in your favor instead of acting sanely I don't feel as though this unnecessary banter is going to help you. I did tell you that you could offer an apology and then we can go on being friends but you have too much pride to admit that you acted like a school girl with an obsession.

Remember when I had a tax question here on uber and you swiftly offered me your services? That was pretty arrogant and stupid of you. As if I'm going to help someone's earnings after they renounced our friendship. Hey, I was digging in the bottom of my computer bag the other day and I found one of the love letters you wrote me. It kinda got rained on but I read it anyway. You said you "get me." Maybe si, maybe no.

Anyway, I'm pretty okay to continue our awkward un-correspondence in person until you're ready to apologize to me, you know every time our friends get together. In the mean time, I've already caught fish this year (I know you haven't) so no need to try the peppy approach here. I wish you the best but how about you just not try anymore...you know, unless you're to move forward.

Cheers!

2 Months Sober! WOooOT!

Submitted by precision at 2010-02-09 14:39:55 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2010-02-06 18:21:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0

Who's precision? Thanks for the compliment.
-------------------------------------------

Been around for a long time... just don't post all that often anymore.

Submitted by inion_de_trua at 2010-02-09 10:38:11 EST (#)
Rating: 2

i think the blonde is a better look. you have the perfect skintone for it.

Submitted by HellRazer at 2010-02-08 11:47:51 EST (#)
Rating: 1

You're such a horrible neighbor. This guy was innocently trying to tell you that he thought you were pretty (in the tradtional rituals of his home country). And was OBVIOUSLY trying to help keep you safe by watching your door tirelessly day and night (even while he was washing his clothes!). He messes up ONE time by forgetting that he was furiously masturbating whilst outside and you call the cops on him. I mean come on, we've ALL had that moment where you're stading in line at the grocery store or filling your tank and suddenly realize "OMG!! I'm beating my dick like it owes me money! Whoopsy!!" Cut the guy some slack.

Submitted by monkeyswithguns at 2010-02-08 11:36:17 EST (#)
Rating: 2

I have a friend whose wife works at the 911 call center for the Lynchburg area, she was telling me that not too long ago there was a horrible axe wielding attack that way. Messy was how she described it.

I also think you may be mis-interpreting your neighbors.

Don't worry about the guy shooting the .40 cal outside of your apartment, he's just been tasked with rodent elimination, and he's taking his job seriously. You noticed the shells, but I bet you didn't notice the rat carcasses. That's because he's a considerate rat killer, and he cleans up the bodies himself.

Your neighbor Dave was simply showing his appreciation of your lotion by showing you how well it worked for him. Kinda like wearing that sweater you got for Christmas from your grandma. The days you saw him crouching at his apartment door, he was simply doing some Tai Chi.

How you could be confused and take these things so personally is beyond me.
Maybe you're a hypochondriac?

Submitted by Dervel at 2010-02-08 09:50:25 EST (#)
Rating: 1

Gixers suck, he should of gotten a 'blade.

Submitted by skrapmetal at 2010-02-07 12:16:12 EST (#)
Rating: 0

It's not my bike, Sage. Overpriced chrome-plated maintenance nightmares are not really my style. The bike's on craigslist, so it's for sale, though.

I have a chopper. It's an ongoing project. '82 KZ750N1 stretched, chopped, and raked. http://www.ratpackcycles.com/skpage/Frankenchopper/frankenchopper1.htm

Submitted by bozznc at 2010-02-07 11:49:29 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Sageriffic! I love those old mills. The prop value is only going to go up as the area cleans up, so if you can afford to grab a condo in the area instead of renting, you're golden. Just be careful on street level, as the flood retention doors occasionally don't lock and can swamp that entire area if the maintenance isn't kept up.

Sidebar, I'm in Chester and Midlothian regularly, so I'm thinking we should organize some sort of MidAtlantic Uber thing or something. Check out Maymont park while you're near there also.

Submitted by S.I. Co. at 2010-02-07 11:06:04 EST (#)
Rating: 0

I really don't know what you want/expect me to say. I have nothing nice to say to you. You aren't very attractive with brown or red hair. Blond is better.

That is all.

Submitted by Sage at 2010-02-06 18:21:17 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Dude, triangle man is on Uber? Shit. He wins all kindsa fights, from what I've heard. Hey...maybe this has been explained previously, but why exactly DO you hate particle man?

Sgt...I'm not on a diet...and I am not that thin. Skinny jeans make you look skinny, and it's a strange angle. Not to mention I eat a ton...some would say like a horse. (Fitting, but redundant, don't you think?)

Skull!! GodChicken!! Roadie!! Berty!! <3333

JonnyX...can't tell you how many people have randomly IM'ed me or texted me asking to borrow some lotion in the month and some change since "the incident".

GroundHorse...from one horse to another, thanks for the compliment! I'm sure your set of haunches is just as nice, if not nicer! :)

EI...sigh.

Bubba...how the hell are you?

Who's precision? Thanks for the compliment.

Damn, Ic. Can you come protect me? Luckily my person is just as intolerant of that BS. He's the one who's taken me to the gun range, he has a .40 and thinks I should get one too...but I like my little snub nose, methinks. It's easy to load and grip, and the recoil's not half bad as the recoil on his gun.

Nice chopper, Skrap. Is it yours? If so, why are you selling it?

Forensic...I can make you one of your own if you want! :)

<3 ya Fallen!

Lynchburg, VA Spuj...I went to Liberty University (don't judge me).

FJ...awww...miss ya.

Jeanneeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!! How YOU doin', boo?

Pheely...holy shit...see these kinds of stories are crazy, you can't make that shit up. I'm glad your landlord took care of him before he got to you! I would have probably hid under the covers too...I remember for a couple nights in between when I pressed charges and when he was evicted I put a chair under my doorknob and locked my bedroom door and had my gun loaded and ready on my nightstand. I definitely would have shot him if he came in my room but I can only imagine how fucked up I'd be if it came to that...I definitely wouldn't want that on my slate, you know? And I definitely miss my blonde hair...by the time I dye it back, it'll be longer, too. :) Nothing like long blonde hair, for sure! <3

Think I covered all my bases...too bad Semen didn't stop by to rate! :(

Much love to the rest of you...







Submitted by Sage at 2010-02-06 18:01:52 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2010-02-05 09:41:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 1

It puts the lotion on its body or it gets the hose again.
************************
Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!

Submitted by RoadSong at 2010-02-05 19:28:59 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2010-02-05 10:42:44 PST (#)
Ranking: 1

this is my rifle, this is my gun, this is for shooting, this is for fun!
~~~
soundoff-1-2-3-4-soundoff!
heh
saw that in....Heavy Metal Jacket....or some flick.

Submitted by SkullBiter at 2010-02-05 15:44:19 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by SgtHartman at 2010-02-05 14:02:07 EST (#)
Rating: 2

are you on some sort of diet? you look thin.

I think you need to eat more!

Submitted by GodChicken at 2010-02-05 13:42:44 EST (#)
Rating: 1

this is my rifle, this is my gun, this is for shooting, this is for fun!


Submitted by JonnyX at 2010-02-05 11:53:47 EST (#)
Rating: 2

dude, he would have dispensed you some free lotion from his....lotion dispenser.


You're lucky he didn't throw you in a well and tell you to put it on your skin...

Submitted by triangle_man at 2010-02-05 11:16:41 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2010-02-05 09:04:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

Don't feel sorry for men like that. Don't excuse their behavior as due to mental problems.

I'm sorry but you have to be poo slinging crazy to not comprehend that being naked in public and masturbating in pubic is inappropriate. People who are THAT crazy are usually in facilities or group homes.

BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHIIIIIIITTTTTTT


Or on Uber...just sayin'

Submitted by triangle_man at 2010-02-05 11:14:49 EST (#)
Rating: 2

chicks on bikes +1
chicks with guns +1
=2

Submitted by Berty at 2010-02-05 11:13:04 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Dark.

Submitted by GroundHorse at 2010-02-05 10:06:41 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Must be spooky being of the female gender sometimes, but you sued him, great job!

Also the pic with the bike looks like you you landed on spacedock.
Great pair of legs btw.

Submitted by precision at 2010-02-05 09:50:38 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Too bad about the perv... I like the red hair, looks good on you.

Submitted by EmissionImpossible at 2010-02-05 09:44:06 EST (#)
Rating: 2

rating adjusted accordingly

Submitted by EmissionImpossible at 2010-02-05 09:43:36 EST (#)
Rating: 0

hmmm

Submitted by Yozz at 2010-02-05 09:41:50 EST (#)
Rating: 1

It puts the lotion on its body or it gets the hose again.

Submitted by EmissionImpossible at 2010-02-05 09:37:35 EST (#)
Rating: 1

id fuck you up the ass

Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB at 2010-02-05 09:35:47 EST (#)
Rating: 2

That's just....fucked up.

Also, it's probably not helpful to your court case posting this here...on the 0.0001% chance that Spanky's lawyer might happen across it.

Submitted by icarus1987 at 2010-02-05 09:17:50 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Did I tell you that I once threatened to shove a knife down a bum's throat if he didn't get out of my way? I have no tolerance for that kind of shit.

Submitted by icarus1987 at 2010-02-05 09:15:49 EST (#)
Rating: 2

If someone came to my door masturbating I would remove their herpes scabs with a belt sander, video tape it, post it on youtube so their family could watch the hillarity of their pain, sue them to pay for the cleanup and a new beltsander, and use the money to hire a contract killer to eliminate their parents/spouse/kids, thus cleansing the planet of their immediate bloodline.

Seriously, there are already enough humans on the planet, and refuse like that don't need/deserve to live. I don't know why you take pity on this trash.

Submitted by forensicgirl3 at 2010-02-05 09:04:52 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Don't feel sorry for men like that. Don't excuse their behavior as due to mental problems.

I'm sorry but you have to be poo slinging crazy to not comprehend that being naked in public and masturbating in pubic is inappropriate. People who are THAT crazy are usually in facilities or group homes. This guy was living in a regular apartment, i.e. he was just a creep and quite possibly an established sex offender.



I'm going to steal that purple scarf.

Submitted by skrapmetal at 2010-02-05 08:30:57 EST (#)
Rating: 1


Submitted by FALLEN at 2010-02-05 08:01:09 EST (#)
Rating: 2

"Dave's real name is unpronounceable by me."
I can help, Sage,

sar-gent-hart-man.

keep practicing, you'll get it.

Submitted by spuj at 2010-02-05 06:38:37 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2010-02-05 10:12:48 GMT (#)
Ranking: 2

JD was born in TN, not VA.

------

Yeh i thought it was Lynchburg Tenesse?

Submitted by Procon at 2010-02-05 05:31:04 EST (#)
Rating: -2

Why Dave would wanna jerk off to you is beyond my comprehension.

Submitted by Fucking foul at 2010-02-05 05:12:48 EST (#)
Rating: 2

JD was born in TN, not VA.

Submitted by spuj at 2010-02-05 04:48:46 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Auto +2 for once living in the birth place of JD.

Unless its a differnet lynchburg? If so have a +2 anyway.

Submitted by F.J.Bell at 2010-02-05 04:21:21 EST (#)
Rating: 2



I know, where the hell did they come from? Thanks rob! ♥

Submitted by orphelia at 2010-02-05 03:46:29 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Skinny jeans are ace I live in mine I wear cute dresses with mushrooms and icecreams and owls printed on them. Yes they make skinny jeans for fat people too.

Sadly, until you live with someone you gotta expect this kind of weirdo hanging around. I swear they target any woman living alone slighty vulnerable. You did the right thing, it may seem extreme to some but nipping it in the bud is key.

When I lived alone for the first time in a little bungalow on a tiny cul-de-sac of 7 I met this guy in a pub. My boyfriend had just left as he had a headache and I stayed to finish my drink (I had lived locally nearly all my life so I felt cool doing that). This guy approached me and made small talk. I am not the kinda person to say 'get lost' so I chatted politely back (mistake) and made my excuses and left. The guy followed me. The bungalows were on the edge of town and he followed me right until I nearly got there. My best mates boyfriend passed in his car and then passed again. Second time he stopped and told me to get in - he'd noticed the guy following me. So we went to see where he had gone - he'd cut down an alley and across some fields and was nearly at the bungalows. There is nothing nearby there was no doubt that was where he was going. He drove me to my boyfriends and I stayed there. But from then on he followed me everywhere. I walked to work he'd drive behind me at walking pace and either just stare at me or motion for me to get in. He did it for weeks. I'd think I'd hear someone outside at night but I'd put it down to imagination. One morning though I got to work and I just melted into a flood of tears - it was a strain. Work phoned the police who interviewd me and said he'd done it before and they would warn him. If he kept doing it I could press charges. The next day all wsa quiet and as I walked to work (it was a lonely road right on the outskirts of town) I never saw him once. But that night I was woken by squealing like a pig outside my bedroom window. I was too scared to look I just hid under the duvet. The next day I went to the shops and I saw him. He was beaten to a pulp, two black eyes, the lot, his face was a mess. Apparently my rent collector - who also lives on the cul-de-sac, saw him outside my bedroom window trying to get in so gave him a jolly good hiding.

In short men are weird and I never speak to anyone I don't know now. Even a guy asking the time was secretly wanking through a hole in his trousers. Some men are vile and disgusting and you just need to act like you are not someone to mess with more.

It's too cold to walk around nudey here. Big knickers, my Dangermouse and penfold t shirt and my big fluffy slippers for me.

+2 for going back to blonde though. Ain't nothing prettier than blonde hair.

Submitted by RoadSong at 2010-02-05 02:47:39 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by ridiculous (user info) at 2010-02-04 22:06:17 PST (#)
Ranking: 2

Sucks about the neighbor issue but I think all in all you handled it quite well. Mind that .38, I don't know you but something is telling me it could end up forgotten in a drawer. In that sort of town you really should put it in a lockbox (that is bolted to the floor) near the bed.
~~~
Noo
She said she lives alone, the 38 special needs to be under her pillow or on the nightstand at night, or concealed upon her person when she leaves the house! Lockboxes are for people with kids. Imagine trying to remember the combination when you hear someone inside your place at night...

Submitted by ridiculous at 2010-02-05 01:06:17 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Sucks about the neighbor issue but I think all in all you handled it quite well. Mind that .38, I don't know you but something is telling me it could end up forgotten in a drawer. In that sort of town you really should put it in a lockbox (that is bolted to the floor) near the bed.

Submitted by icarus1987 at 2010-02-04 23:09:52 EST (#)
Rating: 2

You're back?? All of you? Even the teeth? Even the multi-zip neuroses? Well fuck. I told bart he should have changed the URL. If this were www.berniescondomemporium.com.au we wouldn't be having this discussion.

Submitted by RoadSong at 2010-02-04 21:15:01 EST (#)
Rating: 2

" After about 30 minutes, and Dave still knocking on the door, I ended the conversation and opened the door. There stood Dave, wearing a wife beater and some boxers, fully erect. "Do you have any lotion?" he said. I was a bit aghast of the situation, and being the complete dunce that I am, I stammered, "sure...hang on a sec." I bolt-locked the door and got a bottle of lotion, unlocked the door, and handed it to him, and quickly closed and re-bolted the door."
~~~
Prolly not for the best to OPEN THE DOOR, not to mention giving the lotion! So glad to hear about the 38 special. Ya gotta be more careful. Living alone can be dangerous biz.

ps
The jeans so rock

Submitted by Fucking foul at 2010-02-04 21:12:27 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Hey Shawty. You look awesome! I'm sorry to hear about your perv neighbor. That sucks.

Submitted by Sage at 2010-02-04 20:35:10 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Aren't chaps "fucking pants"? I might use them for that purpose. In any event, there SHOULD be such a thing as "fucking pants".

Submitted by Sage at 2010-02-04 20:30:57 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Hahaha @ "trade agreement". ;) ;) nudge nudge

TuTs...yes, the blacks stay away from there. They're a bit spooked...ahahahaha!! Wow, racist comment. But what the fuck ever, I get hated on so much here for being white, God forbid I want some Church's Chicken.


Submitted by Danger_Ranger at 2010-02-04 20:29:28 EST (#)
Rating: -2

please die

Submitted by Danger_Ranger at 2010-02-04 20:29:10 EST (#)
Rating: -2

oh look 2 bike pictures

Submitted by SgtHartman at 2010-02-04 20:29:04 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2010-02-04 20:27:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0

They're mah skinny jeans. :)

Is the emPHASis on "pants", or is it on "fucking"? I guess I'm just wondering if you're simply complimenting my pants, or insinuating that they're "fucking pants"...and complimenting THOSE. Either scenario works.
-----------------------
theres such a thing as "fucking pants?"

I was just complimenting you on the pants, and the ass thats in them.

HIYO!

Submitted by TuTs at 2010-02-04 20:28:41 EST (#)
Rating: 2

You have a place called lynchburg.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2010-02-04 20:28:12 EST (#)
Rating: 0

For you, we can probably work out some kind of "trade agreement".

I'll be in Virginia in May for a few days and nights.

Submitted by Sage at 2010-02-04 20:27:27 EST (#)
Rating: 0

They're mah skinny jeans. :)

Is the emPHASis on "pants", or is it on "fucking"? I guess I'm just wondering if you're simply complimenting my pants, or insinuating that they're "fucking pants"...and complimenting THOSE. Either scenario works.

Submitted by SgtHartman at 2010-02-04 20:24:44 EST (#)
Rating: 2

NICE FUCKING PANTS!

Submitted by Sage at 2010-02-04 20:24:40 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Shlongy! :) How're things down in HH? I need to get back into the swing of things, golf-wise (pun intended). What'll it cost me for lessons? :D

Submitted by Shlongy at 2010-02-04 20:18:05 EST (#)
Rating: 0

I have in-laws on Mrs. Shlongy's side that live in Richmond.

We don't like them.

Submitted by Sage at 2010-02-04 20:15:01 EST (#)
Rating: 0

ROOOOOOOB!!!!!! :) <3 back atcha.

Submitted by rob_berg at 2010-02-04 20:12:01 EST (#)
Rating: 2





Did you hear that, Marge? She called me a baboon! The stupidest,
ugliest, smelliest ape of them all!

-- Homer Simpson
Lisa's Substitute