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Battle! Part VI

Submitted by ridiculous at 2010-02-17 03:23:41 EST
Rating: 1.95 on 45 ratings (45 reviews) (Review this item) (V)

Prelude:http://www.ubersite.com/m/124407
2nd Prelude:http://www.ubersite.com/m/124425
Dawn:http://www.ubersite.com/m/124438
Evening:http://www.ubersite.com/m/124454
2nd Day:http://www.ubersite.com/m/124476

~~~~~

The old man slowly walked up the path leaning heavily on a gnarled oak staff. His was stooped and dirty, his white hair nearly brown and so shaggy it looked as if it had never seen a comb. He shambled along the path watching his feet and muttering to himself, he didn’t even see the sentry.

Grahm, leaning against the same tree he had leaned against all night, looked up and spotted the old man, he neither lifted his weapon nor was rushed as he stepped into the warm morning light.

“You there, Halt!” Then the smell hit him.

The old fellow stopped his shambling and slowly turned to see who had yelled at him, seeing the sentry he brought the staff before him and planted it standing just a little straighter.

“What in the world is that stench?” The sentry crinkled his face as if he had just tasted something sour.

“I don’t smell anything.” The hermit’s voice was scratchy and a little bit higher pitched than it ought to be, or so the sentry thought.

The younger man approached his elder. “Anyway, you can’t go that way… Good God! It’s you!”

“Heh?”

“You smell like you have been wallowing in cow pats.” He stepped back from the old man.

“That isn’t a very polite thing to say. Maybe I should teach you a lesson hmm?” The old man stood straighter lifting his head and looking into the soldier’s eyes.

The sentries face showed that he wasn’t about to take the challenge lying down. He stepped forward.

Another sentry that Grahm knew came running down the path, stopping a few feet away he pulled his sword.

“What’s going on here?” He shouted. Grahm could see he was nervous, dripping sweat.

Grahm looked at the old man and then at the other soldier, he realized this situation would soon get out of hand, he needed to keep his head. He had intended to show the old man to respect authority, not to really hurt him.

“He was approaching the camp and I stopped him.” The old man began to chuckle quietly.

“What is so funny?” The other sentry was shaking, the tip of his sword moving erratically in the air between them.

“You, boy. So scared by a little old man.” The older man began to laugh.

“I am not afraid!” The display would have been convincing if the boys voice hadn’t broken half way through the assertion. The old man howled. “Look, you don’t know what’s been happening!” Grahm thought now would be a good time to break in.

“Trouble?”

“Witchcraft.”

The old man stopped laughing.

“Witchcraft? What do you mean, boy?” The old man stood straight, both sentries leapt back as the old man suddenly didn’t seem so small or nearly so weak. His voice was deeper, forceful. They immediately knew he was not as he seemed only moments before.

Standing straight he was easily over six feet tall, his upper body was muscular and his face showed the energy of youth beneath a brow of wrinkles. White hair hung past his shoulders and while the robe he wore outermost was filthy and obviously stank, when he stood it fell to the ground exposing the clean tunic and leather breeches he wore beneath it. Violet eyes assessed them both as the lips formed the question again. “Speak clearly boy, what do you mean witchcraft?” His tone was firm, strong.

“It’s… well it’s... I don’t know. It’s like they can’t wake up but their eyes are open, even the Knight Commander, they just keep shaking and lying there moaning!”

“William…” The old man whispered to himself then looking at the others he announced. “Hurry, we have to get to the camp!”

Grahm thought to voice protest but the man had already strode ahead of the two, absently pushing aside the sword point leveled at him with a fingertip.

~~~~~

Grahm followed the strange old man as best he could but the pace was exhausting him. He couldn’t understand how the old man could move so quickly and even stranger, when he had run to catch up a few minutes ago the old man didn’t even seem to be sweating.

“How can he move so damn fast?” The nameless sentry managed to ask between gulped breaths.

“I would be lying if I said I knew, but one thing is for sure. I think we are both very lucky you didn’t try to use that sword on him.”

Cresting the hill they slowed their pace as they could see the strange old man walking in a slow circle examining something on the ground. They approached and could see what he was looking at so intently. It was a circle in the grass that was colored a dark red. The old man looked over at them as they came on and then back to the grass, he stooped and pulled a single blade of grass turning back to them.

“You there. Sorry, what is your name?”

“Alexander.” said the sentry.

“Come here Alexander.”

Alexander looked at Grahm, who shrugged, turning back to the old man he stepped to him.

“Forgive me Alexander, this might hurt.”

Before Alexander or Grahm could react the old man solidly punched Alexander in the mouth and then reached out to steady the boy and caught his chin in his hand smearing the grass in the blood on his lip. The old man watched as the blade of grass absorbed the blood and slowly reverted to its natural green color.

“Thought so… we are in a lot of trouble” He remarked to himself.

“What the hell did you hit me for?” Alexander protested.

“I didn’t hit you hard, and I needed to know what kind of curse it is.”

“Know, what kind of… what?!”

“Look, if you don’t mind would you just be quiet?” The old man turned away and started down the hill.

Grahm and Alexander locked eyes, neither of them knowing what to say or do. It was Grahm that spoke first.

“I think he wants to help us but I don’t know if we can trust him. You go and find as many of the others as you can and bring them back to camp. I will stay with our friend until you return.” He turned and started down the hill.

~~~~~

The strange old man strode through the camp seemingly indifferent to the agony that could be heard all around. All the men lay as if sleeping, still in their bedrolls despite the fact that the sun was already well in the sky. Grahm was shocked to see so many men in pain, they rolled about moaning, each of them with their eyes wide open. He tried to shake a nearby soldier but the man didn’t respond. He just lay there, moaning. He stood and turned to find himself nose to nose with the old man who did not appear happy.

“Do try and keep up, hmm?”

Grahm stammered an apology and started after him.

As the uncanny duo reached the command tent it was like the rest of the camp, all around men cried and moaned in their sleep, eyes open but staring at nothing, horror shown on their pale faces. The old man stepped inside the tent and approached Sir Perth whose condition was the same. Kneeling next to him he examined his face, the ghastly pallor stared back unflinching.

The ancient man produced a small knife, barely more than the length of his smallest finger and lightly sliced the back of The Knight Commanders hand, the blood slowly welled up from the tiny wound, it was black. The ancient mystic made a sound in his throat as if the black blood had just confirmed a suspicion.

Turning to Grahm he instructed him quickly.

“Listen well boy, they have all been cursed. Tainted. Their blood has forgotten how it should work, they will need yours to help them remember.”

“What? I don’t understand, how can my blood help them?” Grahm didn’t like where this was going.

“No questions now, just listen and I will tell you what you need to know.” The Old man was abrupt and quite serious, Grahm silenced.

“Your Commander is the center of this curse, it is living in his blood. I have to enter his dream to absorb the curse. You must watch over us both when I go. You must watch our eyes…”

Grahm started to panic. Everything was wrong, he couldn’t do this? How could he help? What did this old man want from him? What about the enemy, they could be here any moment!

The old man roared. “Are you listening?” Grahms attention immediately refocused. “You must watch our eyes. If they should start to darken then you must plunge your sword into our hearts, remove our heads and burn them.”

“Wha..? You must be joking…” Grahm started.

“Do as I say! Shut your mouth and listen!” The old man made it very clear that this was the last interruption he would tolerate.

“When I have finished, or even if I should fail, the curse will be broken. You must then go to each man in this army and drip a drop or two of your blood into their mouths. Their blood has forgotten how to function properly, with the curse broken, yours can remind them.”

Grahm was completely shocked by the events of the last hour. He didn’t know what to do, so he obeyed.

“Do you have any questions?” The violet eyes searched his face.

“Who are you?”

“Most people call me Uriel.” He smiled at the sentry, tried to give him faith. “You can do this. Just watch our eyes, if they blacken it is imperative that you strike before they are completely consumed.”

“What will happen, if I don’t?” He asked the question but didn't really want to know the answer.

“We will awaken, and we shall kill you and anyone else we can find.”

Uriel turned to the wounded Knight Commander. He raised Sir Perth’s hand to his lips and began to drink the black blood from the stricken mans wound. Leaning back he inhaled sharply, his facial features contorting in pain. He tried to lie down but spasms overtook him. He collapsed next to the Knight Commander. His breathing became shallow and the blood drained from his face as he stared unblinking at the tents ceiling.


Uriel.jpg
Uriel.jpg


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Submitted by Poots at 2010-02-21 14:58:09 EST (#)
Rating: 2

the old strange man(URIEL SEPTIM)reminded me of yoda at first. The whole misjudged identity reminded me of the first exchange between luke and yoda. Uriels laughter made it harder to seperate that likeness and I heard yoda in my head snickering when Uriel did.

When Uriel unvieled his manlyness it reminded me of gandolf revealing his white wizardness.

Submitted by RoadSong at 2010-02-17 21:21:05 EST (#)
Rating: 2

“Trouble?”

“Witchcraft.”

The old man stopped laughing.

“Witchcraft? What do you mean, boy?” The old man stood straight, both sentries leapt back as the old man suddenly didn’t seem so small or nearly so weak. His voice was deeper, forceful. They immediately knew he was not as he seemed only moments before."
~~~
Freakin excellent.


Submitted by triangle_man at 2010-02-17 16:44:18 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Second Liar doesn't stand a chance

Submitted by NatureBoy at 2010-02-17 13:56:55 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Woooooooooo

Submitted by willartstorg at 2010-02-17 13:21:45 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Orphelia shat Ice and Fire.

Submitted by orphelia at 2010-02-17 10:17:31 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2010-02-17 10:03:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

I have no experience in shrimping, Fallen, you cock silo and cum shed. I can't click on the link I provided because it is blocked at work.

Fallen told me in email that he once shaved a gerbil, pulled it's teeth and nails out with a pliers, then vaselined it before dropping it into a paper towel roll connected to his cavernous asshole. He said he came 3 times with such explosive force he nearly shit the rodent out.
~~~
The proper word, in that tense, is 'shat'.

Submitted by FALLEN at 2010-02-17 10:12:07 EST (#)
Rating: 2

OH SURE, just leave out the part where you begged me for hours to be on other end of the tube so you could "catch"

fag.

Submitted by S.I. Co. at 2010-02-17 10:03:00 EST (#)
Rating: 2

I have no experience in shrimping, Fallen, you cock silo and cum shed. I can't click on the link I provided because it is blocked at work.

Fallen told me in email that he once shaved a gerbil, pulled it's teeth and nails out with a pliers, then vaselined it before dropping it into a paper towel roll connected to his cavernous asshole. He said he came 3 times with such explosive force he nearly shit the rodent out.

Submitted by ridiculous at 2010-02-17 09:58:06 EST (#)
Rating: 0

OK... wow... that is distrubing. While I am a big believer in 'dont knock it until you tried it' I am not so sure that one is high on my to-do list.

Submitted by FALLEN at 2010-02-17 09:53:23 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Felching is a sexual practice involving the act of sucking semen out of the anus of one's partner. The semen has been ejaculated into the rectum via anal sex. The act of sucking the semen and then passing it, through mouth-to-mouth or open-mouth kissing, is often referred to as "snowballing"; although the latter is typically associated with semen ejaculated into a mouth from fellatio.

Felching may also refer to the anal insertion of a small animal (usually a gerbil) for the purpose of sexual stimulation.[1] (See also gerbiling.)

from wiki
sico can copy paste his definition of shrimping
or just tell you from his own personal experiances.

Submitted by ridiculous at 2010-02-17 09:42:02 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Ok, I will have to trust you guys that these terms don't mean what they sound like but my connection sucks so bad I can't even open wikipedia right now (just tried) so I will check them in the morning before the connection goes to shit. I sincerely hope wherever I go when I leave this job has decent internet.

Submitted by orphelia at 2010-02-17 09:37:10 EST (#)
Rating: 2

They both sound like fun

Submitted by S.I. Co. at 2010-02-17 09:34:32 EST (#)
Rating: 1

Furthermore...

www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=shrimping

Submitted by FALLEN at 2010-02-17 09:31:55 EST (#)
Rating: 2


Submitted by FALLEN at 2010-02-17 09:30:15 EST (#)
Rating: 2


Submitted by ridiculous at 2010-02-17 09:26:52 EST (#)
Rating: 0

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Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2010-02-17 09:21:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 1

Spuj is a shrimp felching faggot, FTW!

Actually, I don't know that.

~~~~~
Felching? Like simulaneous farting & belching? Whats wrong with that? It feels really good you know.

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Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2010-02-17 09:20:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

Don't click on the 3rd or 5th link but the rest are legit.

~~~~~
Ha! Fuckin knew it!

Submitted by S.I. Co. at 2010-02-17 09:21:11 EST (#)
Rating: 1

Spuj is a shrimp felching faggot, FTW!

Actually, I don't know that.

Submitted by S.I. Co. at 2010-02-17 09:20:41 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Don't click on the 3rd or 5th link but the rest are legit.

Submitted by ridiculous at 2010-02-17 09:19:26 EST (#)
Rating: 0

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Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2010-02-17 09:10:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

For this series, don't find an image first. I've done that for other short stories when I actually wrote but that would diminish the writing and setting in this case.

Either of these would've been infinitesimally better IMO.

http://thepotvinreport.files.wordpress.com/2009/03/wizard.jpg
http://www.dustylens.com/Old-Man-best.jpg
http://www.susssu.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/12/dirty-old-man.jpg
http://www.hermitary.com/features/images/Chinese/hermit5.jpg
http://www.free-jokes-online.com/thumb/disgusting.jpg
~~~~~
Point taken. Did I mention I am on a connection so slow I am confident Dialup would be faster? (excuses excuses, I know...)
P.S.
I may be a n00b but I know better than to click on a Sico Link. =)

Submitted by spuj at 2010-02-17 09:14:57 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Oh God sicosemen is posting links again.

Submitted by ridiculous at 2010-02-17 09:12:01 EST (#)
Rating: 0

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Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2010-02-17 09:07:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

HEAR ME ROAR!!!!

~~~~~

Next time it will be:

The old man screamed in his face showering him with saliva.

"Thanks but I already had a shower today. Fucking wingnut."

For you F.J. :)

Submitted by S.I. Co. at 2010-02-17 09:10:44 EST (#)
Rating: 1

Faggot.

Submitted by S.I. Co. at 2010-02-17 09:10:27 EST (#)
Rating: 2

For this series, don't find an image first. I've done that for other short stories when I actually wrote but that would diminish the writing and setting in this case.

Either of these would've been infinitesimally better IMO.

http://thepotvinreport.files.wordpress.com/2009/03/wizard.jpg
http://www.dustylens.com/Old-Man-best.jpg
http://www.susssu.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/12/dirty-old-man.jpg
http://www.hermitary.com/features/images/Chinese/hermit5.jpg
http://www.free-jokes-online.com/thumb/disgusting.jpg

Submitted by orphelia at 2010-02-17 09:09:19 EST (#)
Rating: 2

*good
I can't do anything today, I may as well just go back to bed.

Submitted by orphelia at 2010-02-17 09:07:51 EST (#)
Rating: 2

You have fallen to thank
god, a god post wasted

Submitted by F.J.Bell at 2010-02-17 09:07:09 EST (#)
Rating: 2

HEAR ME ROAR!!!!

Submitted by ridiculous at 2010-02-17 08:58:15 EST (#)
Rating: 0

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Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2010-02-17 08:35:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

but thats how wizards look.

"A full red afro crowned his head like a ginger halo and while the robe he wore outermost was filthy and obviously stank, when he stood it fell to the ground exposing the Ramones tee shirt and assless chaps he wore beneath it. Violet eyes assessed them both as the lips formed the question again. “what up wit dis witchcraft bullshit?” His tone was firm, strong, slightly Norwegian with a dash of Spanish, or perhaps even Mexican."

it kinda takes away from the whole wizard thing I think.

~~~~~
BWAHAHAHAHA, especially the last bit "Spanish, or perhaps even Mexican!" HAHAHA

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Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2010-02-17 08:18:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 1

Only a 1 for this one. It's great that you attached an image...but it isn't loading properly which gives me the only description I have of Uriel as a direct replacement for Gandolph from Lord of the Rings. You could've been a little more original with how you described the wizard instead of the generic white hair, beard, tunic...etc. etc. That's been done, old hat, played, etc.

Good twist though. Inasmuch, 1.5

~~~~~
Sorry bout the shitty image. I also wanted to stay away from the typical wizard thing but good luck finding a Wizard on google without a beard!!! It was driving me freakin mad! Then I remembered they made a TV show out of the Sword of Truth Series and Zeddicus Zul Zorander had no beard. Of course the cunt they got to play him looks like a fag but i was between a rock and a hard case. I tried going different directions with it, y'know like an image of a knight or somesuch knocked out with an old man next to him. Tried looking for an image of a little old man, like described when he was disguised but all I could get form that was The Hermit, you know, like Tarot Hermit so I just went for it. I swear, I am going to have to start looking up cool images and just working them into the story haha, think that would be easier.

Submitted by S.I. Co. at 2010-02-17 08:57:26 EST (#)
Rating: 1

Tomorrow!

Submitted by S.I. Co. at 2010-02-17 08:57:16 EST (#)
Rating: 2

I never said anything about a Norweg-mexi-ginge wizard, you hermaphrodite. You go fuck yourself in the vagina with your penis, shark fin Gaga.

Submitted by orphelia at 2010-02-17 08:53:08 EST (#)
Rating: 2

*can't

Submitted by orphelia at 2010-02-17 08:52:49 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Also why canI log in at Uber.com but not Uber.net?

Submitted by orphelia at 2010-02-17 08:49:54 EST (#)
Rating: 2

what in the gay happened here?

also, you have an enter key? maybe it just dones't work on mails :P

Submitted by FALLEN at 2010-02-17 08:43:46 EST (#)
Rating: 2

you stfu sico, i'm betting money on a Uriel type wizard over the Norweg-mexi-ginge wizard any day.

oh and HA-HA trick question
ALL CHAPS ARE ASSLESS BY DESIGN, FOOLED YOU LOLOLCOPTER1010

Submitted by S.I. Co. at 2010-02-17 08:38:25 EST (#)
Rating: 1

NOW!

Submitted by S.I. Co. at 2010-02-17 08:37:55 EST (#)
Rating: 2

When you describe him as Jack McCallum, yes. And how exactly the fuck do you know what wizards look like? Grand Wizards wear head gear while others are dark wizards. Not all of them have white hair, beards, and every cliche to go along with it.

FALLEN, YOU STFU!

Submitted by FALLEN at 2010-02-17 08:35:16 EST (#)
Rating: 2

but thats how wizards look.

"A full red afro crowned his head like a ginger halo and while the robe he wore outermost was filthy and obviously stank, when he stood it fell to the ground exposing the Ramones tee shirt and assless chaps he wore beneath it. Violet eyes assessed them both as the lips formed the question again. “what up wit dis witchcraft bullshit?” His tone was firm, strong, slightly Norwegian with a dash of Spanish, or perhaps even Mexican."

it kinda takes away from the whole wizard thing I think.

Submitted by S.I. Co. at 2010-02-17 08:18:37 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by S.I. Co. at 2010-02-17 08:18:32 EST (#)
Rating: 1

Only a 1 for this one. It's great that you attached an image...but it isn't loading properly which gives me the only description I have of Uriel as a direct replacement for Gandolph from Lord of the Rings. You could've been a little more original with how you described the wizard instead of the generic white hair, beard, tunic...etc. etc. That's been done, old hat, played, etc.

Good twist though. Inasmuch, 1.5

Submitted by FALLEN at 2010-02-17 07:55:06 EST (#)
Rating: 2

groovy, good wizards now, keep going.

Submitted by HateMudkips at 2010-02-17 07:41:05 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by Danger_Ranger at 2010-02-17 06:40:05 EST (#)
Rating: 2

But then that would defeat the intended purpose, i.e. showing the recipient that the mantle has been passed.

It's also a great way to reinforce to ei that I think he's retarded.

Submitted by ridiculous at 2010-02-17 05:55:43 EST (#)
Rating: 0

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Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2010-02-17 03:46:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

Yes, I really did quote myself, because it was applicable. dick.
~~~~~
Haha, sorry to be a dick but I couldn't help but feel that if you had the need to repeat yourself you could have just copied and pasted the remark without your user information.
Thanks for the rating and I hope you are enjoying the story.

Submitted by spuj at 2010-02-17 04:46:44 EST (#)
Rating: 2

I really like where this is going, a very nice twist indeed.

Submitted by Danger_Ranger at 2010-02-17 03:46:42 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Yes, I really did quote myself, because it was applicable. dick.

Submitted by ridiculous at 2010-02-17 03:28:06 EST (#)
Rating: 0

I cannot describe how much I hate that picture. The idea of having to scam a picture of a wizard in a TV show made from a series of books really bothers the hell out of me.

Also, I would like to know why it is that you can edit for hours on end but it isn't until after you post that all your typos are visable?


Boy, those Germans have a word for everything.

-- Homer Simpson
When Flanders Failed