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Oathy posts a comment. The same tired insults get 'boarded. It's positively Pavlovian.
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Dumbass Tennants

Submitted by Soyware at 2010-04-14 12:17:21 EDT
Rating: 1.53 on 30 ratings (30 reviews) (Review this item) (V)

I got a call from my worst deadbeat again. I say worst because, sadly, my friends call me a slumlord and they're only half joking. One fat hero of the moocher class gets at least $2000 dollars a month from social security because he has "bi-polar disorder" yet never has the rent money on time. Another's a little hippy poser who constantly grows marijuana in her closet. I admire her resourcefulness from being able to make a hydroponic greenhouse out of dumpster finds but damn, that shit smells from a block away!

Anyway, the piece of work who's bugged me today is complaining about a reoccurring leak in his ceiling. I don't know what his upstairs neighbor pours down the sink, but you probably have to wear a HAZMAT suit to handle it. No doubt there's a meth lab in there. I was about to go to the hardware store and buy new pipes AGAIN, till I had an epiphany: fuck it.

That's right, fuck it. These ingrates only ever complain when they don't get things handed to them, as if they're some sort of royalty. That's what you get when you don't smack little junior son-of-a-bitch, you get entitlement issues. I'm not bending over backwards to fix things that they'll only break again in a few months.

Of course, I couldn't feel right about myself if I just ignored a legitimate problem. You wanna know what I did? I used that assholes own stuff to fix the problem. Rooting around in his kitchen drawers found some electrical tape and a bowl (along with black mold, which I hope kills him soon). I grabbed a plastic tray from beside the door, too (where/why did he get this? probably stole it from a restaurant).

Upon entering the room in question, though, my priorities immediately shifted. I have never seen a bigger heap of shit in all my life, and I once worked for the circus as an elephant keeper. Aside from the obvious fire hazard, there's no doubt that I'll need to put in new carpet, or simply bleach the whole house.

I fixed the pipe problem, and once I returned to my milk-crate-and-plywood desk promptly started the paperwork to evict him. Attached is a picture I took of the room in question.


Review This Item




Submitted by locksly at 2010-04-17 09:43:43 EDT (#)
Rating: -2


Submitted by Soyware at 2010-04-15 21:04:46 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Heh, I was wondering how long it'd take late-comers to get the joke. Good work, Bellare!

Submitted by Ballare at 2010-04-15 18:56:03 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

guys, guys, don't worry, he lifted that picture off the internet

Submitted by HellRazer at 2010-04-15 16:36:52 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

Kick this fucker out IMMEDIATELY.

Submitted by Fartman at 2010-04-15 02:08:08 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

How did you get into my house?

Submitted by YourNameHere at 2010-04-15 00:00:32 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

Submitted by sandmantate at 2010-04-14 20:24:30 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by sandmantate at 2010-04-14 20:21:57 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Bullshit, there is no fire hazard.

There is fire extinguisher on the fucking coffee table! This guy is well prepared for any shit that may go down.

Submitted by knucklesnelson at 2010-04-14 20:00:15 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Are you caulicourts landlord?

Submitted by Ballare at 2010-04-14 19:42:15 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by stone8946 at 2010-04-14 17:35:08 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by Fucking foul at 2010-04-14 16:29:55 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

OH MY DEAR GOD that picture is disgusting. That person should be shot through the hand with a crossbow.

Submitted by Brdn_Nkd at 2010-04-14 16:24:46 EDT (#)
Rating: 2


Submitted by JonnyX at 2010-04-14 15:37:51 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

well played - this reminds me of the Golden days of Ubersite.

Submitted by GroundHorse at 2010-04-14 15:23:50 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Good teams win

Submitted by ICO at 2010-04-14 14:41:50 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Too bad that after you call some people dumbasses, right there in the title, you manage to misspell the word tenant.

Submitted by X54 at 2010-04-14 14:13:27 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by 8bithero at 2010-04-14 13:45:40 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

One fat hero of the moocher class gets at least $2000 dollars a month from social security because he has "bi-polar disorder"
Wait...you're Kaos King's landlord?

Submitted by orphelia at 2010-04-14 13:25:01 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Anyway, the piece of work who's bugged me today is complaining about a reoccurring leak in his ceiling



He has a leaky pipe.

Also, quite the little poster recently aren't you soyabean.

I dislike people who act like the world owes them something. Wankers

Submitted by Robotiger at 2010-04-14 13:16:55 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

totally uncool, like, DUDE. that room sure is a mess, though.

Submitted by triangle_man at 2010-04-14 13:01:39 EDT (#)
Rating: 2


Submitted by icarus1987 at 2010-04-14 12:53:39 EDT (#)
Rating: 2


Submitted by S.I. Co. at 2010-04-14 12:53:17 EDT (#)
Rating: 2


Submitted by FALLEN at 2010-04-14 12:27:55 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

file name was icing on the cake.

Submitted by TuTs at 2010-04-14 12:25:46 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Best Bandwagon Ever. Ok not ever, but for this month, sure.

Submitted by F.J.Bell at 2010-04-14 12:25:16 EDT (#)
Rating: 2


Submitted by rob_berg at 2010-04-14 12:23:30 EDT (#)
Rating: 2


Submitted by SgtHartman at 2010-04-14 12:21:33 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by SkullBiter at 2010-04-14 12:21:11 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Damn. Im glad I pay into SS. What a fucking joke. Where is my MF movie check.

Submitted by Soyware at 2010-04-14 12:20:21 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Also, don't forget to read/rate the FUPA!


Hello? Yes? Oh! Heh, heh, uh ... if you're looking for that big donut
of yours ... um, Flanders has it. Just smash open his house. (Closing
the door.) He came to life. Good for him.

-- Homer Simpson
Treehouse of Horror VI