Dumbass TennantsSubmitted by Soyware at 2010-04-14 12:17:21 EDT
Rating: 1.53 on 30 ratings (30 reviews) (Review this item) (V)
I got a call from my worst deadbeat again. I say worst because, sadly, my friends call me a slumlord and they're only half joking. One fat hero of the moocher class gets at least $2000 dollars a month from social security because he has "bi-polar disorder" yet never has the rent money on time. Another's a little hippy poser who constantly grows marijuana in her closet. I admire her resourcefulness from being able to make a hydroponic greenhouse out of dumpster finds but damn, that shit smells from a block away!
Anyway, the piece of work who's bugged me today is complaining about a reoccurring leak in his ceiling. I don't know what his upstairs neighbor pours down the sink, but you probably have to wear a HAZMAT suit to handle it. No doubt there's a meth lab in there. I was about to go to the hardware store and buy new pipes AGAIN, till I had an epiphany: fuck it.
That's right, fuck it. These ingrates only ever complain when they don't get things handed to them, as if they're some sort of royalty. That's what you get when you don't smack little junior son-of-a-bitch, you get entitlement issues. I'm not bending over backwards to fix things that they'll only break again in a few months.
Of course, I couldn't feel right about myself if I just ignored a legitimate problem. You wanna know what I did? I used that assholes own stuff to fix the problem. Rooting around in his kitchen drawers found some electrical tape and a bowl (along with black mold, which I hope kills him soon). I grabbed a plastic tray from beside the door, too (where/why did he get this? probably stole it from a restaurant).
Upon entering the room in question, though, my priorities immediately shifted. I have never seen a bigger heap of shit in all my life, and I once worked for the circus as an elephant keeper. Aside from the obvious fire hazard, there's no doubt that I'll need to put in new carpet, or simply bleach the whole house.
I fixed the pipe problem, and once I returned to my milk-crate-and-plywood desk promptly started the paperwork to evict him. Attached is a picture I took of the room in question.