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Random Questions

Submitted by monkeyswithguns at 2010-04-15 14:07:29 EDT
Rating: 1.23 on 27 ratings (27 reviews) (Review this item) (V)

Yeah, I'm not here much anymore, but really, it's me, not you.

The thought came to mind as I was meandering out of the post office, "What the hell are people thinking?"

I meant it more as a general soliloquy, an expression of acceptance of the futility of modern existence, (or purposefulness, depending on your outlook), but the idea came to put it to a test,

So here are some questions:

1) What the fuck are you thinking?

2) What the fuck were you thinking that got you into this position?

3) If you died, and "heaven" appeared as the totality of knowledge of all existence/time/eternity, what 3 questions would you first seek the answer to?

As for the it's me, not you part, it really is me. I work in the exciting world of accounting now, and thus have less time to spend leaking my fluids all over the internet. Hopefully that will change soon once I have a new office to myself.

Now, answer me these questions 3!


he watches you when you're naked.jpg
he watches you when you're naked.jpg


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Submitted by sexualchocolate1984 at 2010-04-19 05:54:40 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

"where is Richey Edwards?"

Yes Orphy, fucking yes.

Submitted by orphelia at 2010-04-17 05:57:35 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Is breastfeeding messier with pierced nipples?
~~~
It comes out of all three holes in a random angle fashion. I haven't experienced it but I have seen it.

Does that blonde cashier at Safeway have implants?
~~~
Probably. Cashiers are vain creatures and probably on a better wage than you think. Plus, plastic surgery is available to all now thanks to installment plans. Next time you are at Safeway paying double the amount you would spend at Asda because you are a snob, ask her for a feel. Most cashiers are whores as well as vain so the chances would be in your favour.

Submitted by X54 at 2010-04-16 18:02:13 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

1) I'm thinking, Holy Shit! A MWG post. What the hell happened to him, anyway?

2) I was thinking, Fuck I'm bored. I may as well waste some time on ubersite.

3)
1. Does that blonde cashier at Safeway have implants?
2. Is breastfeeding messier with pierced nipples?
3. What did he mean by, "U.P.: up"?

Submitted by beeltea at 2010-04-16 05:07:26 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

just kidding!

Submitted by beeltea at 2010-04-16 05:06:15 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

1) What the fuck are you thinking?

I'm not thinking. I fucking hate that question. Especially during sex (of course as an udersite user I obviously don't have much of it har har)

What are YOU thinking? What were you thinking about when you posed the question? I thought ubersite was going to be a place where I entertained myself, or at least a serious writer's forum; not a place where I had to answer questions; especially stupid ones like "what are you thinking". I don't know what I'm thinking, so good luck. I'm thinking about you dead, and roasting you on a skewer, and how many less calories your meat would be from pork.

2) What the fuck were you thinking that got you into this position?

What position? What the fuck are you talking about? Are you trying to find a new way of saying "what do you do" because if that's so you failed miserably.


3) If you died, and "heaven" appeared as the totality of knowledge of all existence/time/eternity, what 3 questions would you first seek the answer to?

Obviously for a supreme being to keep something as unfathomably stupid as you around we must be dealing with a light-weight or a god with a lot of forgiveness. So I would go to this heaven: A world where you did not exist. A world where I could snap my fingers and pop! You no longer existed.

Submitted by orphelia at 2010-04-16 04:58:29 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I want to know why you want to know what I am thinking.

My answers right now.

) What the fuck are you thinking? Which Cheerio tastes nicest, 'cos I can taste something lovely in this bowl of 'o's and I am not sure which colour it is making my mouth happy.

2) What the fuck were you thinking that got you into this position? Mmmmm what is that nice taste in my mouth.

3) If you died, and "heaven" appeared as the totality of knowledge of all existence/time/eternity, what 3 questions would you first seek the answer to?
where is Richey Edwards?
why were flies invented?
why is it not socially acceptable to practise oral sex in public?

hurry up and get your big office. Uber NEEDS YOU

Submitted by beeltea at 2010-04-16 04:27:04 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

oh yes: What do you think about "The Cars"? Simply 80's pop or the fundamentals of a real rock legend?

Submitted by beeltea at 2010-04-16 03:25:49 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

1. I'm thinking about golf, and beer, and sex.

2. I got myself into this position by thinking the exact same thing.

3: Why the mosquitos? Who do you think you are; God? Go fuck yourself.

I'm sorry, the last one wasn't phrased as a question. Here: Would you please go fuck yourself?


Submitted by Wisher at 2010-04-16 01:46:26 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by Soyware (user info) at 2010-04-16 00:39:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

How were the drops, wisher?

~~
Mmy skates fit, much fun. I have to write quickly else my own silly/inferior brain will begin editing what I hear and diminish the meaning. I don’t always agree with what I now hear, or even understand it fully. So I don’t think of it as me answering~~ I oft disagree with these answers I “hear,” that said I’ll write what comes~~~

The drops, as mercury, must be forcibly separated, resisting division; then they reunite back into the singularity of a drop that clings to its original identity. In this elementary experiment we can see the evolution of human consciousness, where all, however disparate and scattered, long to become again one. One in aspect, one in purity.

This is the destiny of humanity.

Submitted by Soyware at 2010-04-16 00:39:47 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

How were the drops, wisher?

Submitted by Wisher at 2010-04-15 23:28:07 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

1~~ Thinking if my old inline skates still fit, cos I wanna go skating down the street later zooming under the streetlamps if they fit.

2~~Cos my ass is going to sleep.

3~~I got shocked by my blow dryer a while back whilst using an aerosol can of AquaNet I found in my mom’s junk box~~there was a flash before the shock~~ now I sleep more and have dreams that answer everything.

Now I know everything~~ not just 3 things~~ but only right brain stuff. Strange. If you need to know anything, just ask. Even tho I now know everything, it’s like trying to translate from one language to another, but a language kinda like English. Not as hard as it sounds. Just if you ask s/t, don’t ask Google~able stuff, for the obvious reasons. ~~ If I'm out I can't answer, so I'll have to chk back, altho I'm here now.

Submitted by Sacrilicious at 2010-04-15 23:08:57 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

1) What the fuck are you thinking?

Cereal

2) What the fuck were you thinking that got you into this position?

I wasn't thinking. I forgot to pick up milk.

3) If you died, and "heaven" appeared as the totality of knowledge of all existence/time/eternity, what 3 questions would you first seek the answer to?

Why do all the raisins sink to the bottom of Raisin Bran Crunch?

Why do all the raisins NOT sink to the bottom of Raisin Bran?

Who still buys Raisin Bran when they make Raisin Bran Crunch and why?

Submitted by DaBeast at 2010-04-15 23:08:19 EDT (#)
Rating: 1


1) What the fuck are you thinking? When? Just now? Or just then? Or right now? How about later, you want that too? DAMN IT, STOP PRESSURING ME!

2) What the fuck were you thinking that got you into this position? Well, I was thinking that I'd seen her legs bent that way before and if she twisted to the left a little and grabbed onto the handlebars just when the bungee cord began to contract again that the angle of entry + rotation velocity + 1 tube of KY + 1 brick of weed & a 16 pound bag of ice = HAPPY LONG FUN TIME! The math wasn't wrong, either. The lack of LSD, however, was.

3) If you died, and "heaven" appeared as the totality of knowledge of all existence/time/eternity, what 3 questions would you first seek the answer to? Ancient mythology really isn't that much fun in a modern world but, hey, whatever sinks the hooker. My questions would probably go something like this: "I got just one question. Where do the souls of Nikola Tesla, Ehrich Weiss, Plato, and Albert Einstein reside? 'Cause I got questions that only THEY can answer."



Now, what did I win? GIMMIE MY PRIZE!!!

Submitted by YourNameHere at 2010-04-15 21:53:44 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

Submitted by monkeyswithguns at 2010-04-15 15:22:51 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2010-04-15 15:18:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

what do you mean, African or European questions?
================================================================================

Don't be silly, everyone knows Africans don't count.

Submitted by rob_berg at 2010-04-15 15:19:57 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2010-04-15 15:18:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

what do you mean, African or European questions?

---

I don't kno....AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Submitted by JonnyX at 2010-04-15 15:18:21 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

what do you mean, African or European questions?

Submitted by S.I. Co. at 2010-04-15 15:15:49 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

1) What the fuck are you thinking? Damn it's good to be a gangster...

2) What the fuck were you thinking that got you into this position? I wasn't. I was just trying to get the vehicle home and after he crashed the truck twice I wasn't about to allow a third time. It could've cost me my life as opposed to a minor disagreement with Johnny.

3) If you died, and "heaven" appeared as the totality of knowledge of all existence/time/eternity, what 3 questions would you first seek the answer to? I think the idea of heaven is a farce but to play along with your question I wouldn't know where to begin. Seeing how you didn't limit the number of questions I think I'd have to ask "Where is the beer cooler?" "Where are the girls?" and "Where is the blow, this is going to be a long night?"

Submitted by Fucking foul at 2010-04-15 15:14:07 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

1. Sex. Also, why the hell is facebook down.

2. I wasn't.

3. What became of my other emerald earring? Who were my dad's birth parents? Who shot Christopher Wallace and why?

Submitted by Robotiger at 2010-04-15 14:49:16 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

hey you read my post! :)

Submitted by triangle_man at 2010-04-15 14:48:56 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

um blue...no red....ahhhhhhhhhhhh

Submitted by monkeyswithguns at 2010-04-15 14:45:55 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2010-04-15 14:15:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Sorry, this market is on lock by a one legged whore who posts on Friday. Try again tomorrow.

----------------------------------------------------------------

Will a two legged man-whore work?

If so, then I'm your man....whore.

On Friday, anyone with any interesting thoughts will be too busy trying to get out of the office/cubicle/desk/room/house to be bothered answering any questions.

All that will leave me with is you and the retarded cat monger.

Submitted by FATMANTPK at 2010-04-15 14:27:12 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by FATMANTPK (user info) at 2010-04-15 14:16:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

3) Who really killed JFK, RFK and MLK. Too much controversy on those, but would accept Oswald, Sirhan Sirhan and James Earl Ray if that was the true answer.

------

And why they were killed.

Submitted by FATMANTPK at 2010-04-15 14:16:47 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

1) I am thinking about the weekend quickly approaching.

2) Which position? Being at work? Well, that would be the whole "move out of my parents house" thing

3) Who really killed JFK, RFK and MLK. Too much controversy on those, but would accept Oswald, Sirhan Sirhan and James Earl Ray if that was the true answer.


Submitted by Robotiger at 2010-04-15 14:16:28 EDT (#)
Rating: 2


1) What the fuck are you thinking? trying to balance the unknown forces of existence through responsable thought and immature speech

2) What the fuck were you thinking that got you into this position? that's yours to answer, I'm not an accountant

3) If you died, and "heaven" appeared as the totality of knowledge of all existence/time/eternity, what 3 questions would you first seek the answer to? What is the universe made of? Do past lives exist and if they do who was I before I was me? What is The Matrix?

Submitted by willartstorg at 2010-04-15 14:16:04 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Sico, did your Offspring piss in your cheerios?

Submitted by S.I. Co. at 2010-04-15 14:15:04 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Sorry, this market is on lock by a one legged whore who posts on Friday. Try again tomorrow.


There are perfectly good answers to those questions, but they'll have
to wait for another night.

-- Homer Simpson
Homers Barbershop Quartet