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FUPA Finalie! (It ain't midnight YET)

Submitted by Soyware at 2010-04-23 01:18:09 EDT
Rating: 1.88 on 10 ratings (10 reviews) (Review this item) (V)

Or at least, it's not midnight in mountain time. That counts, right?

Hope so...

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A lonely soul was dancing, floating,
flowing with the wind.
It saw a string of steel, taught,
and when it did it grinned.
It knew just what it had to do,
this tragic soul was sharp.
It drifted towards the lines to play
the Aeolian harp.

It sang a song hypnotic, such that
birds would cease to fly.
And whistle-pigs and rabbits paused
to stare into the sky.
The spirit was amused but moved
along the metal trail.
It had to find a human ear.
It had to tell a tale.

Across a rolling prairie land
the power lines careened.
And, in time, it found the spot
where lines and roads convened.
It waited long and thought "Perhaps
this road will heed no luck"
But then, just what it waited for,
hitching in an old truck.

A strong young man with messy hair,
and an old brown rucksack.
He smelled of dust, his shoes were worn,
the sun beat on his back.
The soul blew gusts of wind his way
to break him from his daze,
then played the power lines again
to catch his distant gaze.

"Hold up," said boy to driver when
he heard the siren song.
"I'll walk from here, the next town's close.
Thanks for the ride! So long!"
But as he disembarked he heard,
the tune begin to change.
It turned familiar, homely even,
then to downright strange.

"This almost sounds like English," thought
the boy of what he heard.
"That's because," the old soul said
"I've started to form words.
While it will take all of my strength
to tell you what I must,
You look like a spiritual type,
and thus have earned my trust."

"Spirits? HAH!" The young man laughed,
"People like that suck dicks!
I look like this for drugs and fun,
and, of course, easy chicks."
"Then how am I talking to you?"
the spirit quickly pled.
"...well I guess you have a point..."
This slightly eased the dread.

"Very good, now listen well,
I have a quest for you.
Far from here Vyetkyenya lies
broken, split in two.
Upon a hill sit corporate kings,
three acres to a man.
While down below their serfs all starve
in an urban wasteland.

Warehouses, factories, and stores
that sell smokes, booze, and gas
are robbed nigh daily to get by.
Kids are raped in the ass.
Those who venture into the fray
to help are beat and shot.
While rich, uncaring privileged
enjoy their scotch in yachts."

"That's terrible, but not unique,
and just why should I care?
They don't need help, they just need guns,
they'll fix their own affair."
"But these they have, that's the trouble,
revolt grows ever near.
If it should pass, 'twill be the worst
historians ever hear.

The wealthy dead, their riches nabbed
will bring a greater strife.
'I'll take ALL of it for myself'
and no respect for life.
A few days time will turn the land
to one massive grave yard.
The riots, turned to massacres,
Will hit the world hard.

In every city on the earth,
the echo will ring loud.
The spirit of rebellion will
consume the poorer crowds.
Ol' Vyet's example will bring out
the worst in every heart.
The rage won't stop till all are dead.
You CAN NOT let it start."

"Just what am I supposed to do?
Besides, they've earned their fate.
They shouldn't be allowed to live,
the thought makes me irate."
The boy was getting frustrated
with talking to the soul,
But the wise spirit kept it's cool
and told the boy his role.

"You, young lad, must go with haste,
leave everything behind.
The leaders have forgot their place,
and need a strong remind.
Show them, warn them, open their eyes,
help them give riches back.
A million lives can be preserved,
preventing one attack."

"It's up to you now," said the soul
"to save them from their greed.
Stand firm and fast in every task,
I know you can succeed."
With that the ghost resigned itself
and disappeared in fumes.
"Far out," the worthless trendy drawled,
"these ARE some wicked shrooms."


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Submitted by RoadSong at 2010-04-26 16:59:24 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

"Hold up," said boy to driver when
he heard the siren song.
"I'll walk from here, the next town's close.
Thanks for the ride! So long!"
But as he disembarked he heard,
the tune begin to change.
It turned familiar, homely even,
then to downright strange.

"This almost sounds like English," thought
the boy of what he heard.
"That's because," the old soul said
"I've started to form words.
While it will take all of my strength
to tell you what I must,
You look like a spiritual type,
and thus have earned my trust."

~~~~~~

So very very fine ...

Submitted by monkeyswithguns at 2010-04-25 14:43:54 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Fuckin A.

Submitted by The_Cyst_Master at 2010-04-23 11:35:52 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

This looks to be the work of a cunt.


I'm assuming that cunt is you.


Spell check doesn't know the word cunt.

Submitted by triangle_man at 2010-04-23 11:04:55 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Perfekto, well except for the taught thing..:)
and you should have made this line....

"A strong young man with messy hair,
and an old brown nutsack."

Well played sir, may the best po-po get the ho-ho

Submitted by snagglepuss at 2010-04-23 10:36:47 EDT (#)
Rating: 2



...it kept me entertained enough to finish reading it (children were born and geezers died, my thoughts wandered, my eyes felt fried)......




Submitted by F.J.Bell at 2010-04-23 10:06:43 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Okay

Submitted by Cakes at 2010-04-23 04:33:53 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

“Taut”? Very nicely done. I have a very old Aeolian wind harp to keep in windows during these months. They are unusually beautiful.

Submitted by ridiculous at 2010-04-23 04:21:32 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I really enjoyed this.
Taught, taut bothered me some but hell I couldn't write this.

The ending blindsided me which made me enjoy it all the more, but what can I say? I really wanted this to be the length of one of the epic poems. Describe the boy leaving his world behind, braving poverty death and despair and trying to do some good in the world. I am unsure (were I writing it) if I would let him succeed or not but I certainly would have shown the reader the journey. Nonetheless I really enjoyed this and will be digging through your posts as soon as I have some time.
Thank you.

Submitted by willartstorg at 2010-04-23 01:46:19 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

OK, I read it. Even if it is LATE, it's still a +2.

Submitted by willartstorg at 2010-04-23 01:36:57 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

EAST COAST (uber) TIME. That ain't hammer time, either. Shitloads of fail.


Don't go easy on each other just because you're brother and sister. I
want to see you both fighting for your parents' love.

-- Homer Simpson
Lisa on Ice