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A Pious Man (Part III)

Submitted by ridiculous at 2010-05-24 11:22:35 EDT
Rating: 1.9 on 21 ratings (21 reviews) (Review this item) (V)

A long minute of uncomfortable silence passed before Akilina lost control of her growing impatience.

“So…” She allowed the word to draw out. “What happens now?” The wind accentuated her question.

She had been standing in the kitchen of the destroyed house for several minutes now. The Makarov PM in her hand was cold and heavy but it was a solid weapon that she knew quite well. The battered kitchen wall, the plaster lying in heaps on the floor and the lining boards not much more than cinders stood between her and the man she knew was on edge. On edge, and armed, he was just waiting for her to walk around the corner. The wind was blowing, fast and hard. If not for the wind, he might have shot her already. Thankfully it muffled and threw their voices enough that neither knew exactly where the other stood.

“You leave and in a few minutes, I leave.” The voice carried from around the wall between them.

“That hurts, you don’t even know me and you’re rejecting me?” She teased, trying to ease his tension and wondering if she might do better to take a lesson from him in that regard.

“That is exactly the point. I don’t know you. Get out of here.”

“Can’t we talk for a while?”

“No.” His voice was firm, resolute.

Akilina brooded. She was not used to being rebuffed, especially not by men. She was not willing to accept this man’s callous refusal to speak with her.


There were several more long seconds before her temper got the better of her.

“I asked you a question you bastard! Why in the hell won’t you at least talk to me? It’s not as if we aren’t alone here!” She fumed.

He remained silent.

“Answer me!” She disliked the edge of desperation in her voice but she disliked being alone even more.

“What do you want from me?!” He yelled, his voice was exasperated, untrusting.

“I just want to talk…” She pleaded.

There was a long pause. The wind filled the silence with its deafening gusts and the eerie quiet between them. Finally he responded:

“Tomorrow morning. The lake, near the airport, there is an inlet on the west side. Meet me at the house north of there. Ten AM. Don’t be late.” He grunted as he stood and ran for the house’s front door.

Akilina heard him move and stepped around the corner just in time to see the edge of his pack vanish from view around the side of the house.

“I’ll be there.” She said to no one in particular, her eyes scanned down the hall to where he had sat in ambush.

Akilina returned to the kitchen and passed through the window she had come in, thinking that if he had stopped to watch and saw her come from the door he’d just left he might shoot her for paranoia’s sake. He was definitely paranoid. It was a nice change though, she mused, meeting someone who didn’t immediately try to get in her pants just because she was a woman.

The snow crunched under her feet as she wandered through the city. She ducked into various houses, factories and similar places scavenging anything that looked useful. She imagined the man she had met was doing the same thing; picking the bones of a dead city like a pair of carrion eaters.

She had no luck in the morning, bumping into the stranger was certainly interesting but hardly going to keep her from starving. She had better luck when she turned into the residential areas. She found a more or less intact blanket spread over a frozen corpse, some canned food buried under some loose debris and some ammunition for her Makarov in the guardhouse next to the old courthouse. She hadn’t even had to spend a round scaring off dogs. It was a downright prosperous afternoon.

Late in the afternoon, when it started getting colder, she started making her way back to the church, which had been her home for the last two months. She busied her mind during the walk by thinking of the stranger she had met and wondering what kind of food was in the nondescript steel cans in her pack. Mostly, she thought about the stranger. He had thought he was alone. Had he been totally alone? Since it had happened? What would that do to a person’s mind? She eventually concluded the subject by deciding that regardless of the answers, she wanted to know more about him. She smiled, shaking her head at herself. He didn’t even want to talk to her, and because of that, she had to talk to him. He might be the only real man left.


Review This Item




Submitted by S.I. Co. at 2010-05-25 08:17:55 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

Bubba, you wonder why you get labeled as the unfunny hero of uber...see your insult below.

Submitted by Psygns_of_the_Tymes at 2010-05-25 05:04:51 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

agree with TuTs. this was canny mint.

cant wait for her to utilise those railroad nails shes been keeping for months to peg Sergei's arms to the church so she can violently rape him.... its gonna be goooood!!


Submitted by willartstorg (user info) at 2010-05-24 18:09:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

sico whines even when his sister blows him.


more than a frenchie!

Submitted by TuTs at 2010-05-25 04:23:35 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I actually liked this one better than the other two.

Submitted by X54 at 2010-05-25 01:16:22 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

"It was a nice change though, she mused, meeting someone who didn’t immediately try to get in her pants just because she was a woman."

That's what I'd be thinking, too, in her position.

Submitted by Soyware at 2010-05-24 20:09:47 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Calm before a storm, perhaps?

Submitted by orphelia at 2010-05-24 19:04:04 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Look forward to reading these
what else did I miss?

Submitted by willartstorg at 2010-05-24 18:09:49 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

sico whines even when his sister blows him.

Submitted by RoadSong at 2010-05-24 15:33:31 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

"The snow crunched under her feet as she wandered through the city. She ducked into various houses, factories and similar places scavenging anything that looked useful. She imagined the man she had met was doing the same thing; picking the bones of a dead city like a pair of carrion eaters."
Ah yes.

Submitted by ridiculous at 2010-05-24 15:14:57 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2010-05-24 14:59:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

http://stuff.ubersite.com/1163669001100429567/1/manx.JPG love this pic


I Larfed

Submitted by S.I. Co. at 2010-05-24 14:59:24 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

Submitted by ridiculous at 2010-05-24 14:52:04 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Part I: http://www.ubersite.com/m/125235
Part II: http://www.ubersite.com/m/125255

Here you go Loki, forgot to post em :)

Submitted by loki at 2010-05-24 14:49:09 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

This is interesting. I'll have to go hunt for the first two parts.

Submitted by ridiculous at 2010-05-24 12:13:54 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

You're still a dick magnet, the king of sloppy blowjobs and the patron saint of GHEY. :)

Submitted by S.I. Co. at 2010-05-24 11:57:50 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

perhaps you should operate under the premise that when i want to hear your opinion i'll take my dick out of your mouth.

just joshing. all i'm saying is that i was less than pleased with this submission.

Submitted by ridiculous at 2010-05-24 11:53:38 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch.
Just wait. This story is fairly well planned. There is a reason for the title.

Maybe I should put a little more into the next post. I've been operating on the submission length of right around two pages in word for each segment of my series posts so that I can get them posted roughly every day. Perhaps I should slow down the submission frequency in favor of length?

Submitted by ridiculous at 2010-05-24 11:46:35 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

I went with the three photos because I managed to find three photos of the same ruined church. I was shocked!

Anyhow, you are probably right.

Submitted by S.I. Co. at 2010-05-24 11:45:32 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

the point is to engage your reader, nancy. what you did was give us a plot burner with filler and nothing more. if you want to develop character than you should lengthen this and give us a cliff hanger to come back for more. as it is i was forced to read through the awkward bit of dialogue to find out nothing happened. oooh, a meeting....oooh she thought of him...oooh so fucking what! i'm not pissy about el dorado. well, maybe a little but that doesn't change my analysis of this entry into pious man. and furthermore, i see nothing pious about this man. care to elaborate?

Submitted by FALLEN at 2010-05-24 11:40:24 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

The picture montage threw me off, one would have been enough.

It made me feel like I was reading a "go outside into a ruined Earth and take a picture" post

Submitted by ridiculous at 2010-05-24 11:39:07 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

You're just pissy because you want El Dorado.

We are still in the character development phase you twat, how are you calling it filler? Do I need to write in some action for you in every scene?


Submitted by S.I. Co. at 2010-05-24 11:30:18 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

more like a +1

Submitted by S.I. Co. at 2010-05-24 11:30:01 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

zzzzzzzzzzzzz filler.

try not to bore me with the next stale version.

Oh everything's cruel according to you. Keeping him chained us in the
backyard is cruel. Pulling his tail is cruel. Yelling in his ears is
cruel. Everything is cruel. So excuse me if I'm cruel.

-- Homer Simpson
Bart Gets An Elephant