My Bitchin' New JobSubmitted by Soyware at 2010-05-25 20:47:41 EDT
Rating: 1.82 on 25 ratings (25 reviews) (Review this item) (V)
So I started a full time job on Monday. I sort, scan, and file books that get donated to the Idaho Youth Ranch thrift store so they can get posted to online stores. Boring, right? Right. That is, until I started finding some of the good donations:
Solving Homosexual Problems: A guide for LDS Men
This one came out of nowhere and made me laugh, so I read the title aloud to my co-workers. There was a second of silence...
*DAMNIT! First day! I've set a new alienation record...*
Then they all started laughing, too.
Early Embraces 3: More True-life Stories of Women Describing Their First Lesbian Experience
SCHWING! So I read the back cover, since, you know, I have to check out the book's condition and all.
I set up the room so that everything would be perfect. I placed scented candles on the bedside table, turned on some slow music, and pulled the curtains shut. I took a shower, put on my best white dress shirt, jeans, and the requested cologne. Then I waited. Suddenly the phone rang. It was Debbie. "I'm in the elevator," she said. "I can't wait to see you." I couldn't believe I was finally about to meet her. I stood at the door with the phone next to my ear. Then I heard the elevator doors open.
"I can hear you," I whispered. I looked down and saw a shadow at the door. "Is that you?" I asked. Debbie said yes, and we both laughed. I told her I was going to hang up now and asked if she was ready. She said she was. I put the phone down, held my breath, and opened the door. I'll never forget what I saw. There she was, looking ravishing. She told me she was tall, but I had no idea she was almost six feet. She took my breath away. She was much more gorgeous than she looked in the picture she had sent me a few weeks before... Her makeup was perfect, and she had beautiful full lips, with a small mole I hadn't noticed in her photo. I wanted to grab her and kiss her hard, but I knew I should take it slow. She had her head down, and I could tell she was very nervous...
The Life of Alfie
It needs to end!
Sadly, this contained no cool pictures of haunted houses or gypsy caravans. Actually, it didn't have anything cool. The name just stood out in my memory.
A Guide to the Modern Office
This textbook was published in 1980, had a picture of one of those old terminal/keyboard computers, and was colored strictly in green and black. Why would someone donate this? If you want to keep it alive for laughs, keep it! If not, recycle it! Don't just pass it on because you can't bear to truly get rid of things.
There were a few that were signed by the author with a personal note saying things like "thanks for taking care of Cynthia," and "you should come over some time. We'll have that wine I told you about." I guess the break up wasn't so smooth, huh?
This job sucks. I need to go get more beer, see you all later.
A local lesbian must have OD'd because there was a lot of spank worthy literature.jpg