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Omega (Blongish)

Submitted by Sage at 2010-06-07 23:05:48 EDT
Rating: 0.6 on 51 ratings (51 reviews) (Review this item) (V)

I have a worldview, as do most of you…some say “the glass is half empty”; some, “the glass is half full”. I’ve even heard it said that “the glass is neither full nor empty; it needs a refill”. Mine, as I’ve likely said before, is “the glass has a fucking hole in it”.

This morning I was feeling particularly pitiful and bitter about life, and as I often do when this feeling overtakes me, I turned to my faith; more specifically, the Bible. It occurred to me that today may be a good day to read Ecclesiastes. Basically, it talks about how everything we as humans do or acquire in life, is meaningless. This verse in particular, pretty much sums that up:

“’Meaningless! Meaningless!’, says the Teacher. ‘Utterly meaningless! Everything is meaningless.’” (Ecclesiastes 1:2, NIV)

(Hopefully) everyone has heard the Byrds song “Turn, Turn, Turn” which is based on Ecclesiastes 3. It is also well known that its (unknown) author declares that “there is nothing new under the sun”. Ironically, his assertion is unoriginal. Regardless of its pessimistic take on the meaning(lessness) of life and the sorrow wisdom brings, Ecclesiastes is worth the read, if you haven’t already read it. If you’re too narrow-minded to read it simply because you want to boycott the Bible…fine, don’t read it.

I took comfort in the fact that my tendency to believe “the glass has a fucking hole in it” is somewhat in line with the author’s belief that everything we do is meaningless because we all die in the end anyway. In other words, it doesn’t matter if we pour water in a glass, it has a hole in it, and all the water (effort) we put into the glass (life) just spills out of it eventually. The wise or rich have the same fate as the foolish and poor. We have the same fate as animals. All of our accomplishments are nonsense, because the mad, full of folly, poor, rich and wise all end up forgotten. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. That is the eventual, unavoidable fate of each of our lives.

Relationships are no different than life itself…they all end. They all experience a death, whether through the fatality of one of the parties, or through some other factor which ultimately causes the relationship to end.

Prior to meeting and involving myself with my current boyfriend, I casually dated someone I knew I couldn’t have, and that wouldn’t love me back. Time and space allowed me to realize that I only fell for him because it was safer and, as I convinced myself, nobler to love someone when that love wasn’t returned. Strangely, I was able to love to the fullest, without fear of the unknown, because the end had already occurred in that there was never going to be a beginning. I knew it clearly, and I found security in that knowledge, which (however backward) is why I stuck around.

It is much more difficult, I’ve found, to be in a relationship where you actually have to be vulnerable with someone who seems perfect for you, and who says they love you back, and with whom you place all of your trust. I have never had so much respect or esteem for a man I’ve dated; I have this one on a pedestal. If it turns out he’s not what he seems, I’ll be devastated.

I suppose all throughout our relationship, I’ve been thinking about how it’s going to end. Will one or both of us end up hurt, or can we actually make it to the end of one or both of our lives? Not knowing is supposed to be an adventure, but it scares the ever-loving shit out of me. I constantly fight the urge to leave him because it’s a seemingly endless, daily battle to keep my guard down. While I do completely trust him, I question whether or not he’s trustworthy, not based on anything he says or does or doesn’t say or do, but rather out of my own paranoia and fear. Fact is I’m not even that scared to be alone…contrariwise I think I’d be at greater peace if I knew I didn’t have to be vulnerable and trusting with someone else.

One of my friends pointed out to me that my tendency to torture myself with these thoughts and beliefs is akin to living my life wondering how I am going to die. He’s right…I can’t live in my relationship wondering about the end. I suppose I’m one of those people that wouldn’t mind knowing the exact date, time, and cause of my death. I feel like if I knew the end, I could live my life that much more thoroughly. I would have a defined deadline I could work with to accomplish everything I wanted to…I could see the things I wanted and experience the things I wanted.

I wonder if it’s the same with my relationship. Would knowing the end make it any more worthwhile? As an example, if I knew my current partner would end up cheating on me in the future I wouldn’t wait until the cheating began to get out of it—I would end it as soon as I gained the knowledge of the probable future, which would ultimately change the story, wouldn’t it?

Back to life, I wonder if we would try to change our fate if we knew it. If our lives were to end in a car accident (one of my biggest recurring nightmares and fears), would we drive on the day that we knew it was supposed to happen? And if our days really are numbered to an exact moment in time where it ends for us, does that happen no matter what? So, if I was SUPPOSED to die in a car accident and I know that, and so I choose to attempt to twist fate by not driving, and not leaving the house for that matter, what happens then? I’m aware that this thought process is all very “Final Destination”. I hated that movie, it creeped the shit out of me.

At the end of the day, death meets all of us, and there isn’t anything we can do about it. I suppose I have more peace with death, because after we die, there is no fear (according to my faith). After the end of any relationship, whether it ends in death or it ends in sadness or regret or even mutual respect, we don’t know what will happen next, which spells fear for me. Part of me is afraid to even begin anything because it ends eventually; I’ve said and felt that for years. But it’s too late now, I’ve already begun something. And like everything else, it will end eventually.

I weigh all decisions in life based on the amount of risk involved, and I try my best to live my life with no regrets. Do I live my relationship that way? No. I live it in fear of what will happen next. I hate to admit that I regret living and thinking this way. I suppose that in order to stop this feeling of regret, I have to remind myself daily that even if I get terribly hurt in the end, I am a strong and resilient person who will be able to survive the worst of endings. Maybe knowing it will end eventually and allowing myself to be at peace with that fact is the key. Because ultimately, I find the greater risk in my situation right now would be to end things and be alone—I really do have it too good to just give it up out of irrational fear.

Loving another is supposed to enrich our lives. Love found me, I didn’t look for it—who am I to reject it? I suppose the outcome in this relationship is just as unknown as my fate in this life, and I should live both to the fullest, with reckless disregard for death and all his friends.


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Submitted by CarlMcGowan at 2010-06-09 17:56:49 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

what psigger said

Submitted by Psygns_of_the_Tymes at 2010-06-09 07:08:59 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

And if you stop talking after he fucks your holes, maybe he'll stop hitting you when you open your mouth for reasons other than to receive his dick.




Just a thought.

Submitted by Psygns_of_the_Tymes at 2010-06-09 07:07:03 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

WAAH WAAH WAAH!



Razor blades + wrists

Slash 'em now. Or stop reading a book and figure shit out for yourself instead of loking to bollocks wirtten more than a thousand years ago to decide what you should do and how you should live your life.



Mainly though, GET SLASHING!

(remember its the slashes down the wrist that kill, if you go across, you just maim yourself, and you KNOW your boyfriend is gonna make you clear up the mess, 'cos he don't love you, he just loves pussy)

Submitted by lungfish at 2010-06-08 21:50:05 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

While I do completely trust him, I question whether or not he’s trustworthy, not based on anything he says or does or doesn’t say or do, but rather out of my own paranoia and fear.

--

Also, this is crazy. And a good way to destroy a relationship.

Submitted by lungfish at 2010-06-08 21:48:40 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Oops. 9:3

Submitted by lungfish at 2010-06-08 21:44:46 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I don't mean it as a bad thing.

"This is an evil among all things that are done under the sun, that there is one event unto all: yea, also the heart of the sons of men is full of evil, and madness is in their heart while they live, and after that they go to the dead" (Eccl 9:30).

Submitted by TuTs at 2010-06-08 21:37:20 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I get it, but I'm not exactly what you would call the most stable of people.

Submitted by Sacrilicious at 2010-06-08 21:21:48 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Strangely, I was able to love to the fullest, without fear of the unknown, because the end had already occurred in that there was never going to be a beginning. I knew it clearly, and I found security in that knowledge, which (however backward) is why I stuck around.
===
yyyyyep. I can relate to this experience 100%.

And for the record, if you are crazy, I don't find evidence of that here.

Submitted by lungfish at 2010-06-08 21:10:59 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2010-06-08 08:13:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

bongish. lungfish. Sage+lungfish=sitting in a tree k.i.s.s.i.n.g.

----

I'd hit it. I believe that's what the kids say. I dig crazy chicks.

Goddammit. I can't say anything without sounding like an asshole. I don't think you're crazy, Sage. Well, I do, but I'm nice, so I'm saying that I don't think you're crazy. A bit, maybe. Okay, a lot. Well, no more than most women. Maybe 80 percent.

Goddammit.

I'm an asshole.

To be honest, I find you largely inoffensive.

But a bit crazy, which is okay, as it is something of a turn-on. But only for a little while.

Okay then, I've done well, here.

Right on.

Peace and shit.

Submitted by JonnyX at 2010-06-08 18:04:18 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

jeesuz kristos, you're one of those bitches who HAS to talk after sex, aren't you - now hurry up and make another post w/horse-faced camwhore for us all to rub one out to.

Submitted by rob_berg at 2010-06-08 18:03:22 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2010-06-08 18:00:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Submitted by Wisher (user info) at 2010-06-08 03:46:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2010-06-08 03:39:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

You're like nutso and stuff.

~~

If you’re bothering to rank a post, at least take the time to read it. Nothing nutso here at all.
If anything, she's talking too openly on a site like this.

------------

I did.

---

...and she's, like, nutso.

And stuff.

Submitted by Snark at 2010-06-08 18:00:55 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by Wisher (user info) at 2010-06-08 03:46:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2010-06-08 03:39:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

You're like nutso and stuff.

~~

If you’re bothering to rank a post, at least take the time to read it. Nothing nutso here at all.
If anything, she's talking too openly on a site like this.

------------

I did.

Submitted by Linus_Ghost at 2010-06-08 14:49:05 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Hold your love in eternity. Be invincible.

Submitted by EmissionImpossible at 2010-06-08 14:39:59 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

all i see is



blah,blah,blah,blah,blah,blah,blah,blah,blah,blah,

blah,blah,blah,blah,blah,blah,blah,blah,blah,blah,blah,blah,blah,blah,

blah,blah,blah,blah,blah,blah,blah,blah,blah,blah,blah,blah,

blah,blah,blah,blah,blah,blah,blah,blah,blah,blah,blah,blah,blah,blah,blah,blah,blah,

blah,blah,blah,blah,blah,blah,

BLAH


Submitted by SPECIALk at 2010-06-08 14:28:07 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

God is a DJ

Submitted by Sage at 2010-06-08 13:22:59 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

But the picture--its SHARKS watching Titantic!! Ahahahahaha!! Pure gold, that pic...right guys??

Submitted by RoadSong at 2010-06-08 13:05:18 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

"It is much more difficult, I’ve found, to be in a relationship where you actually have to be vulnerable with someone who seems perfect for you, and who says they love you back, and with whom you place all of your trust. I have never had so much respect or esteem for a man I’ve dated; I have this one on a pedestal. If it turns out he’s not what he seems, I’ll be devastated."



Oh Sage! Listen up. Trusting people is futile and sets you up for heartbreak and feelings of worthlessness. Life is a series of losses and how you handle the first and the last.


We are mere sparks of electricity that return to the source when we die.

Take off your clothes and enjoy the sun while you can. Sun on skin will improve your outlook and you will look great with a tan.

Good luck kiddo


Submitted by SgtHartman at 2010-06-08 12:47:06 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

HAH @ below

Submitted by F.J.Bell at 2010-06-08 12:04:08 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

:o(

Submitted by Procon at 2010-06-08 11:56:59 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2010-06-08 11:44:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0


Pot, kettle.

================

Face, fat.

Submitted by F.J.Bell at 2010-06-08 11:44:59 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by Procon (user info) at 2010-06-08 16:42:47 BST (#)
Ranking: -2

Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2010-06-07 23:27:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

I'm suing your ass for mental assault and being a boring, ugly, stupid cunt.

~~~~~

Pot, kettle.

Submitted by Procon at 2010-06-08 11:42:47 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2010-06-07 23:27:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

i really tried to read this and give a decent semi-intellectual reply, but in all honesty i just want to cock slap your stupid ass into next week
==============



I got about halfway through, fell asleep, slid down my chair and slammed by temple on the corner of my desk. Expect to hear from my attorney soon. I'm suing your ass for mental assault and being a boring, ugly, stupid cunt.

Submitted by FALLEN at 2010-06-08 11:02:21 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

this too is awesomesauce
http://www.ubersite.com/m/82493

WHY HALO THER FJWIKIPEDIA!!

Submitted by F.J.Bell at 2010-06-08 10:56:51 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Kevin Twaddle (born October 31, 1971 in Edinburgh) is a Scottish former professional footballer.

A forward, Twaddle began his career with Dunbar United in 1992 before joining St. Johnstone in 1994. He remained at McDiarmid Park for two years, making 51 league appearances and finding the net on ten occasions.

In 1996 he joined Raith Rovers in an £82,000 deal. He made 32 appearances for Rovers in two years, scoring four goals.

Morton came in for his services in 1998 for a fee of £150,000, but his stay on the west coast was a short one as Premier League club Motherwell made a successful bid for him, again for £150,000.

After three years at Fir Park, during which he played mainly as a winger, Twaddle signed for Hearts, the club he supported as a boy, in June 2002. He only played eight league games for the Jambos in his twelve months with the Edinburgh side.

In 2003 he joined St. Mirren, but again his stay was a short one, and he moved on after making only three appearances.

Twaddle joined Scottish junior club Penicuik Athletic in the summer of 2004

Submitted by FALLEN at 2010-06-08 10:54:31 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

relevant and awesome

http://www.ubersite.com/m/122668

i'm off to google "twaddle"

Submitted by creman at 2010-06-08 10:11:15 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I think you missed the point of Ecclesiastes. Solomon is being sarcastic as he writes, and is saying a life lived for anything other than God is worthless. He is saying to find your joy in the Lord or else don't bother. Everything else is for a short time and doesn't last.

It's never good to feel worthless, when it consumes you then you really do become worthless. I know I'm being a bit too serious for uber, so -2 die and stuff.

Submitted by forensicgirl3 at 2010-06-08 08:59:22 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I used to torture myself too until I realised that 1) it's much more fun to torture someone else, and 2) everything ends/dies so worrying about it is pointless.

And actually I have read the bible cover to cover. I was required to. While there are some good things in there, it really is a beastly book overall.


I'm happy to see that you're not messing with Germans any more.

Submitted by orphelia at 2010-06-08 08:52:05 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

i think you have mistaken me for someone who gives a toss
this is self indulgent twaddle
or 'lovely'
i can't decide...

Submitted by F.J.Bell at 2010-06-08 08:48:44 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Prior to meeting and involving myself with my current boyfriend, I casually dated someone I knew I couldn’t have, and that wouldn’t love me back. Time and space allowed me to realize that I only fell for him because it was safer and, as I convinced myself, nobler to love someone when that love wasn’t returned.

~~~~

Shagging sico sure is a mindfuck.

Submitted by vexx at 2010-06-08 08:43:50 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Submitted by S.I. Co. at 2010-06-08 08:34:04 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

You did a masterful job of painting yourself a loon without a single thread of assistance. Congratulations!

Also, I like how you automatically assume that anyone who doesn't read your precious bible is narrow minded. How ironically rich!

Submitted by SgtHartman at 2010-06-08 08:18:36 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I say fuck the glass....im more of a "re-use a plastic BIG GULP cup from 7-11" type of person.

embrace the world, its got great shit if you're willing to see it. No matter what "end" will become of us. The only assurance is that we are here now, experiencing life, enjoy it while its here.

Submitted by Poots at 2010-06-08 08:13:30 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

bongish. lungfish. Sage+lungfish=sitting in a tree k.i.s.s.i.n.g.


Some peoples lives are immortalized through porcelain performance collector plates, the bible, and interactive sexual DVDs. Some people freeze their heads. Some people join the Illuminati. Some people invent cures for diseases that aliens brought to earth.

I should clear up that I didn't read past your brilliant glass has a hole in it philosophy.

What I was getting at is that it does matter what you bring to the world because your knowledge will be passed on. In that, you will be passed on like a joint at a concert of your choosing that isn't now or in the future going to be performing at icthus. I've never been to icthus. I bet the bastards that attend those types of shows smoke weed too. I bet the veil their innocence so that mom and dad will let them out and they all go look at tits and smoke weed and worship the devil.

What was I getting at?

Fuck, stop hitting me.

Grandmas Boy.

Oh, I remember, it was something about fight club. How we are not special and unique in any sense of the word but we should practice life with a certain amount of responsibility. Or else you can end up shooting yourself on the 14th floor of a high rise building in Miami shortly before you watch the fruit of your labor ripen into a violent 5 high rise type building explosion. Even if you don't hurt anybody there is still a ton of garbage fall out that is going to take a lifetime to clean up. Even worse people will be out of jobs and if people are out of jobs because of your actions. Then what do you think will happen to the quality of life in the city you love? I'll tell you what will happen is they will be forced to move into the dilapidated squat home that smells of farts because of the paper company that is close by.


The world only needs so much soap but more than I can afford.


Submitted by skrapmetal at 2010-06-08 06:43:35 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

My religious Mom has a prayer hanging on the wall. It says "Lord, give me the strength to change the things I can change and to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference."

You cannot change the inevitable outcome, but you can change how you spent the time before then. If you make your S.O. smile, tell me: how is that meaningless?

Submitted by F.J.Bell at 2010-06-08 06:37:16 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

I read through all that and there wasn't even a camwhore at the end...pfft. I'm only here for the legs.

I'm intrigued by your faith. You seem so sure of it. It's endearingly crazy. Mail me when this guy spunks on your stomach and calls it a day.

Submitted by Dervel at 2010-06-08 06:06:55 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

You should put your mouth over the hole in the glass and get someone to keep constantly filling it.
That'll sort the problem soon enough.

Submitted by misfitdog at 2010-06-08 05:29:31 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by Wisher at 2010-06-08 03:46:02 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2010-06-08 03:39:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

You're like nutso and stuff.

~~

If you’re bothering to rank a post, at least take the time to read it. Nothing nutso here at all.
If anything, she's talking too openly on a site like this.

Submitted by Snark at 2010-06-08 03:39:37 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

You're like nutso and stuff.

Submitted by ridiculous at 2010-06-08 03:31:39 EDT (#)
Rating: 1


Submitted by Judgement at 2010-06-08 02:33:35 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Submitted by Wisher at 2010-06-08 02:12:05 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

"Maybe knowing it will end someday...."

I'll get to that in a moment. You wrote: Prior to meeting and involving myself with my current boyfriend, I casually dated someone I knew I couldn’t have, and that wouldn’t love me back.

Your expectations create your reality. You shouldn't *know* this and cannot know this, unless you deep down *want* to know this. You have a safety net within yourself here, at peace with being alone, but I think you are misusing it, by~~ back to the first thing ~~ "maybe knowing it will end someday..."

Everything ends. Everything. Even the best of loves, lives, trees, all "end". Or appear to end. I won't get into my metaphical stuff, but I think nothing ends, ever. But just don't set yourself up to meet your own expectations of losing. It's pointless, worry is pointless, and only fules the energies that will create the loss you worrying about.

Laugh and have a good time all the time. And don't fear, don't fear anything. It's pointless, and worse, destructive. Now smile, and think about how much fun life really is, even the low points. You cannot lose.

Submitted by Wisher at 2010-06-08 01:51:45 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I have a worldview, as do most of you... some say “the glass is half empty”; some, “the glass is half full”.

~~* *~~


Half empty, half full. I say finish the drink and stop complaining. {Not you, just those into the half~full thing.}

Submitted by SilvrWolf at 2010-06-08 01:40:00 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I only have two pieces of advice:

1) Put away that NIV version of the Bible. If ever "loosely translated" could be applied to a book, it's right there.

2) Do not obsess over the "end" of things. Ever. Things end when they do, the same as life. Plan for family. Plan for survival. But you can't plan for life and fretting over your powerlessness in that is futile and moot. Enjoy what you have and if it ends, you can be glad you held it if but for that fleeting moment.

Submitted by X54 at 2010-06-08 01:33:43 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Convincingly neurotic. I liked how you waited until the very end to bring his friends up. The root of the whole problem, apparently. Almost but not quite obscured by the fog of rationalization that made up the rest of the post. Excellent!

Have any of your boyfriends ever tried to kill you?

Submitted by rob_berg at 2010-06-08 01:14:53 EDT (#)
Rating: 2


You should really try not being so insane.

See how that works out for you.

Oh, and never put anyone on a pedestal. We are all human and vastly flawed.

Find happy and be that way as much, and as often, as you can.


But mostly just stop being so f'in mental, dude.

Submitted by apollo88 at 2010-06-08 01:07:24 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Kill yourself

Submitted by simple_catalyst at 2010-06-07 23:27:48 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

i really tried to read this and give a decent semi-intellectual reply, but in all honesty i just want to cock slap your stupid ass into next week

Submitted by lungfish at 2010-06-07 23:24:40 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Don't do it

Submitted by lungfish at 2010-06-07 23:21:20 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Relax

Submitted by Sage at 2010-06-07 23:06:32 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Long + Bloggish = Blongish. Act like you didn't know.

What up, uber bitches?


That's weird. It's like something out of that twilighty show about
that zone.

-- Homer Simpson
Treehouse of Horror VI