login / register
Blackbear hates women. Not as much as they despise him, but it's close.
Welcome to Ubersite!

Git rid of them thar illegal immigrants!

Submitted by monkeyswithguns at 2010-07-06 10:30:26 EDT
Rating: 0.92 on 18 ratings (18 reviews) (Review this item) (V)

"All these gosh-darn speckle heads and moist backers keep takin all our jobs! What are we gonna do about it Amarica!?!?!?!?!?"
-anonymous blowhard politician on the immigration debate.

Here's my ultimate plan to take back American jobs!

We simply take the jobs out from under the illegal immigrants jobs! How simple and easy is that! All we have to do is deny them employment, by taking our large unemployed sector (9.5% as of June 2010) and employing them in all the sectors where those dirty illegal bastards are working!

Think about it!

-No more govt. sponsored spanish translation signs.
-No more confusing spanish language labels on packages of gummy worms! (gusanos gomosos? WTF does that mean?)
-No more unemployment of good, hard working American citizens!
-No more Mexican flags! (except for legal mexican immigrants)
-No more Tacos! (Wait, what?)

In fact, I say as reperations for years of our high unemployment, as a direct result of those dirty, stinkin illegals, we should make them pay to find jobs for our unemployed!

So I got my crew of all Americans together, stormed the party headquarters for takeourjobs.org , and said:
"You gosh-darnit all brown people! You took our jobs, and now you're gonna pay...to get us employed again!"

of course, the reply was an indecipherable:

"Mr. WithGuns, with all due respect, we are only in this country to do the jobs that no-one else wants to do."

"Lies! All lies I say! You nasty bastards need to leave our country and get to work on your own soil!" I shouted, drool dripping from the corner of my mouth, a true indicator of my full rage.

"But Mr. WithGuns, if we go back home, your companies will just outsource your jobs to us anyway, and then you won't even have American companies paying taxes in their local communities.....

(I stopped listening after this, I don't need to listen to no damn socialists, asking you to listen to their arguments is how they trick you!)

"I'll take ma chances you commie pepper eaters."

So, it was about this time, the police showed up, and informed me that I was in the wrong for pointing my boom-stick at the (apparently) quite legal office workers at takeourjobs.org.

As it turned out, despite the web address name, this was an organization to give jobs back to unemployed Americans, not to take the jobs away from them.

Imagine my surprise.

So, if any of you unemployed patriots would really like to take back America from the immigrants, please, take their jobs!

Together, we'll show them damn specks that a pure American worker will wash those dishes faster and pick those oranges with better skill than any foreigner!

GO AMERICA!! WHOOOOOOOOO!!! LEFTOVER EXPLOSIVES FROM 4TH OF JULY WHOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!

http://www.takeourjobs.org/

Lazy brown people.jpg
Lazy brown people.jpg


Review This Item

Rating:

Comment:




Reviews


Submitted by deadfishinthesea at 2010-07-26 05:48:26 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

be the first one on your block to send a illegal to arizona

Submitted by Tomorokoshi at 2010-07-13 03:08:08 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by skrapmetal at 2010-07-08 14:36:00 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by ridiculous (user info) at 2010-07-07 05:15:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
...
I work in Africa, I live in the good ole' U S of A, specifically Southern California.
-----
Helluva commute. No wonder you need a lawn service.

Submitted by X54 at 2010-07-07 23:50:21 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

We also need to change the law that says anyone born on American soil is automatically a citizen, even if their parents are here illegally. That's bullshit.

Submitted by cheerios at 2010-07-07 21:38:53 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by ridiculous (user info) at 2010-07-07 05:15:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

You get one - I didn't like that satire of this post but I appreciate the "stir 'em up" element.

OK, OK, I know you people are thinking. "But, Ridiculous, you live in Africa, what could you have to say on the subject of immigration?" (OR "Who the fuck is this guy?") well first off, FUCK YOU! I work in Africa, I live in the good ole' U S of A, specifically Southern California.

First, I completely disagree with our countries management of illegal immigrants, if we jump the border southbound you think the federalli's are going to feed us, give us a place to sleep and a bus ride back home? Hellllllllll No they aren't. They're going to lock us up, beat us senseless, spray us with a water hose ever hour or so and try to sell us blankets and food. That's what they're going to do.

Now don't get me wrong. I love Mexican American Immigrants. (After the first generation they are just plain Americans... but I'm talking about those individuals who have come to this country legally.) They are honest, hardworking, industrious and trustworthy brown brothers and sisters.

You see, I have something in common with them. We both HATE "border brothers". Shocked? Well you shouldn't be. The people in this country legally, the ones who do their jobs, pay their taxes and work hard to make a better life for their families have no patience or respect for illegals. To them the illegal immigrants represent a classic attitude of taking the easy way, whether right or wrong. They symbolize the stereotypes that are wrongfully imposed on Mexican American immigrants. They are the ones living six families in a government provided home at a reduced rent. All of them collecting welfare and sending every spare penny back to mexico to finance more of their families to come join them in sucking Uncle Sam's teat's dry. They're the ones who don't bother to teach their children to speak English, don't bother to learn English themselves, why would they need to when every government form for a free ticket is already provided in Spanish?

Look I intended to go on with this a bit longer because I really have got a lot more to say on the subject but I've angered myself sufficiently for the time being.

I don't have a problem with immigrants taking jobs, so long as they are American citizens or at a minimum legally entitled to work in the united states.

----

Well said, sir.

Submitted by ridiculous at 2010-07-07 05:20:53 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

Skrap, find out if your gardening / landscaping guy has any affiliates on the West Coast and let me know, would ya?

Submitted by ridiculous at 2010-07-07 05:15:50 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

You get one - I didn't like that satire of this post but I appreciate the "stir 'em up" element.

OK, OK, I know you people are thinking. "But, Ridiculous, you live in Africa, what could you have to say on the subject of immigration?" (OR "Who the fuck is this guy?") well first off, FUCK YOU! I work in Africa, I live in the good ole' U S of A, specifically Southern California.

First, I completely disagree with our countries management of illegal immigrants, if we jump the border southbound you think the federalli's are going to feed us, give us a place to sleep and a bus ride back home? Hellllllllll No they aren't. They're going to lock us up, beat us senseless, spray us with a water hose ever hour or so and try to sell us blankets and food. That's what they're going to do.

Now don't get me wrong. I love Mexican American Immigrants. (After the first generation they are just plain Americans... but I'm talking about those individuals who have come to this country legally.) They are honest, hardworking, industrious and trustworthy brown brothers and sisters.

You see, I have something in common with them. We both HATE "border brothers". Shocked? Well you shouldn't be. The people in this country legally, the ones who do their jobs, pay their taxes and work hard to make a better life for their families have no patience or respect for illegals. To them the illegal immigrants represent a classic attitude of taking the easy way, whether right or wrong. They symbolize the stereotypes that are wrongfully imposed on Mexican American immigrants. They are the ones living six families in a government provided home at a reduced rent. All of them collecting welfare and sending every spare penny back to mexico to finance more of their families to come join them in sucking Uncle Sam's teat's dry. They're the ones who don't bother to teach their children to speak English, don't bother to learn English themselves, why would they need to when every government form for a free ticket is already provided in Spanish?

Look I intended to go on with this a bit longer because I really have got a lot more to say on the subject but I've angered myself sufficiently for the time being.

I don't have a problem with immigrants taking jobs, so long as they are American citizens or at a minimum legally entitled to work in the united states.

Submitted by DoWork at 2010-07-06 16:51:31 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

Those damned brown folk beat me up and stole my job just the other day!

Submitted by RoadSong at 2010-07-06 15:39:24 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by FATMANTPK at 2010-07-06 12:05:43 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2010-07-06 11:24:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

You just can't employ people that aren't willing to work, or even attempt to look for work.

===

I agree, Mr Withguns...I agree!

Submitted by DrJazz at 2010-07-06 11:38:16 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

I don't care about shitty American jobs, I care about shitty American tacos.

Submitted by monkeyswithguns at 2010-07-06 11:24:46 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2010-07-06 11:15:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

To people like me, the providence of labor is important, and we can vote with our dollars and our time.

--------------------------------------------------------------------
I couldn't agree more. One of the inspirations for this was that recently, we had another job-fair type deal here in my small-town.

Unemployment here is around probably more as it's a rural area, and yet, despite the advertisments, newspaper and radio ads, posters around town, and general word of mouth, only around 10 people showed up to even take a look at, and do some quick skill-assesment tests for employers that were willing to hire, at an above minimum wage job, THAT DAY.

You just can't employ people that aren't willing to work, or even attempt to look for work.

If I got fired tommorow, my plan would be to immediately find a part time or full time job, just something to bring in some money until I landed something better. Even if it was a shitty job, that's better than being a leech.


Submitted by skrapmetal at 2010-07-06 11:15:40 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

I have a lawn service to take care of the yard at my house. The guy who runs it had two employees when I signed up a couple years ago. On his business card is written "[service company name] is an American-owned company which proudly employs only US Citizens to care for your lawn and landscape." The owner is a legal immigrant, got his Citizenship four years ago. Speaks English pretty well, too. His two employees are Florida natives. He charges a little bit more than the competition, but I pay it because they do a good job and it keeps US Citizens employed (and they have a healthcare plan, by the way). In this economy wherein the pawn shops are overflowing with lawn care equipment dropped off by guys who can't stay in business, this guy's company is working 12 hour days 6 days a week and has hired another employee and bought a second trailer.

Not far from my house is a blueberry farm. This year, as there is an abundance of blueberries, the owner is letting people pick their own blueberries. The deal is this: You sign a release and take your bucket and one of his buckets into the field. You fill both buckets and leave his bucket with him, and take yours home for free. He washes and bags the blueberries in his bucket and sells them to stores or out of the office of the farm. He doesn't pay pickers so his costs are low. You get all the blueberries you can use in a year for two hours easy labor. Don't want to pick? Buy your blueberries at his office for 1/3 of the store cost. Pretty good idea, and it works.

To people like me, the providence of labor is important, and we can vote with our dollars and our time.

Submitted by SilvrWolf at 2010-07-06 10:49:46 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

Yeah! You tell 'em!
Stupid illegals and their hard-work-for-pittance-pay work ethic.

Consuela, you're FIRED! I'll wash my own damn underwear.
And I'm calling I.N.S.!

La Migra! Vamanos aqui!
Domo immigrato, mister brown vato.

Submitted by monkeyswithguns at 2010-07-06 10:47:09 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

I'd just like to start off by saying, while I'm not a proponent of illegal immigration, I think we should be honest about the reasons, and not blame it on them taking our jobs.

They DO need to get out if they're illegal, but the reasons should be honest.

-I don't want them lowering my home value.

-I don't want them convincing my idiot national leaders that we need to accomodate their language. English is the language here, learn it. I speak Spanish when I'm in your countries, learn mine while you're here and use it pendejos.

-If you immigrate here, you're no longer "whatever-American", you're an American. You can feel free to be like other Americans and bitch about the government, our leaders, our society, etc., but you damn well better stop hanging your previous nation's flag everywhere, and you'd best be ready to show some fucking respect to the land and (not everyone) people that welcomed, or at least tolerated you coming here.

These things piss off most native-born Americans, and it's a good reason not to like you.

-You give all the legal immigrants a bad image.


Submitted by BranDo at 2010-07-06 10:46:51 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

**Job may include using hand tools such as knives, hoes, shovels, etc. Duties may include tilling the soil, transplanting, weeding, thinning, picking, cutting, sorting & packing of harvested produce. May set up & operate irrigation equip. Work is performed outside in all weather conditions (Summertime 90+ degree weather) & is physically demanding requiring workers to bend, stoop, lift & carry up to 50 lbs on a regular basis.


Hell yeah, good show!














Let's wait for Cheerios response.

Submitted by Poots at 2010-07-06 10:46:29 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Didn't read past "they took our jobs" part.


http://www.ultramegatshirts.com/shirts/268.jpg

Submitted by sarongthong at 2010-07-06 10:37:43 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

What a novel idea.


Bart: I had a fight with Milhouse.

Homer: That four-eyes with the big nose? You don't need friends like
that.

Lisa: How Zen.

-- Homer Simpson
Homer Defined