Ridic's Ten Tiny TrueSubmitted by ridiculous at 2010-07-20 15:48:21 EDT
Rating: 1.59 on 24 ratings (24 reviews) (Review this item) (V)
1) I never knew my father, while he was sane. When I was little he used to pump my head full of venom for my mother and crazy ideas for the world. I thought it was normal. He had me insult my mother unwittingly (say things that are insulting to an adult but mean nothing to a kid, like “Go soak your head.”) on a regular basis. I can only imagine how much that hurt her.
2) When I was very young my neighbor from down the street came over to the house one day. He pushed me to the ground. My dog nipped at him giving him the tiniest cut on his hand, he went home crying. His mother called my mother and threatened to sue. We had our dog euthanized the following day.
3) There was a family of black people who moved in down the street. Trying to be open minded my brother and I tried to be friendly. A few days later I caught their son in my garage stealing. I chased him down the street calling names, including the ‘n’ word. I had to apologize, not to him but to my elderly neighbor who had heard and been offended.
4) The first time I smoked pot it was with a girl I knew/liked from school. I smoked an incredible quantity of it and passed out in the bathroom at her house.
5) Due to political legislation there was something very akin to a race war during my time in high school. Legislation on the ballot, if passed, would give illegal aliens the right to get drivers licenses in California. Because of the pro’s and con’s / discussions / arguments / propaganda all over the school, there was a coordinated student walk out several days before the vote. All the white kids and all the Mexican kids culminated into two factions that faced off in “The Quad (read: common, open area.) and eventually a brawl broke out. One young man got stabbed but recovered.
6) When I was about 16 I was partying with friends in a river bottom near a railroad crossing. The police swept the area and told me and my friends to “get out” as they were more interested in the hard drug users who attempted to run from them. As we were leaving we noticed a police cruiser parked on the railroad tracks, two minutes later it was hit by a freight train.
7) I lost my virginity to a good friends sister, it was her birthday present to me, with her boyfriends consent (I am pretty sure it was actually his idea.).
8) Having only been in Africa for a week or two I had a loaded AK47 pointed at my chest, sadly it is not the first time I’ve been held at gun point. I’ve also been shot at for no apparent reason.
9) I’ve had coffee, smoked cigarettes and had polite conversations with one of the most dangerous men in the United States on multiple occasions. People whom are more closely associated to him have informed me he asks after my well being from time to time. (I’m not saying, let’s just say he is a very prominent Hells Angel)
10) It’s nearly nine PM and I’m supposed to be working…
Don't even look at my sprinkles.jpg