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Ridic's Ten Tiny True

Submitted by ridiculous at 2010-07-20 15:48:21 EDT
Rating: 1.59 on 24 ratings (24 reviews) (Review this item) (V)

1) I never knew my father, while he was sane. When I was little he used to pump my head full of venom for my mother and crazy ideas for the world. I thought it was normal. He had me insult my mother unwittingly (say things that are insulting to an adult but mean nothing to a kid, like “Go soak your head.”) on a regular basis. I can only imagine how much that hurt her.

2) When I was very young my neighbor from down the street came over to the house one day. He pushed me to the ground. My dog nipped at him giving him the tiniest cut on his hand, he went home crying. His mother called my mother and threatened to sue. We had our dog euthanized the following day.

3) There was a family of black people who moved in down the street. Trying to be open minded my brother and I tried to be friendly. A few days later I caught their son in my garage stealing. I chased him down the street calling names, including the ‘n’ word. I had to apologize, not to him but to my elderly neighbor who had heard and been offended.

4) The first time I smoked pot it was with a girl I knew/liked from school. I smoked an incredible quantity of it and passed out in the bathroom at her house.

5) Due to political legislation there was something very akin to a race war during my time in high school. Legislation on the ballot, if passed, would give illegal aliens the right to get drivers licenses in California. Because of the pro’s and con’s / discussions / arguments / propaganda all over the school, there was a coordinated student walk out several days before the vote. All the white kids and all the Mexican kids culminated into two factions that faced off in “The Quad (read: common, open area.) and eventually a brawl broke out. One young man got stabbed but recovered.

6) When I was about 16 I was partying with friends in a river bottom near a railroad crossing. The police swept the area and told me and my friends to “get out” as they were more interested in the hard drug users who attempted to run from them. As we were leaving we noticed a police cruiser parked on the railroad tracks, two minutes later it was hit by a freight train.

7) I lost my virginity to a good friends sister, it was her birthday present to me, with her boyfriends consent (I am pretty sure it was actually his idea.).

8) Having only been in Africa for a week or two I had a loaded AK47 pointed at my chest, sadly it is not the first time I’ve been held at gun point. I’ve also been shot at for no apparent reason.

9) I’ve had coffee, smoked cigarettes and had polite conversations with one of the most dangerous men in the United States on multiple occasions. People whom are more closely associated to him have informed me he asks after my well being from time to time. (I’m not saying, let’s just say he is a very prominent Hells Angel)

10) It’s nearly nine PM and I’m supposed to be working…


Don't even look at my sprinkles.jpg
Don't even look at my sprinkles.jpg


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Submitted by MyTeeOne at 2010-07-23 17:04:03 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

Number 6 is poetic justice

Submitted by DrogoRoch at 2010-07-22 07:01:05 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

So the boyfriend pimped out his girlfriend to you for your fist time? That is weird. Did he watch?

Submitted by ridiculous at 2010-07-22 04:06:16 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

I knew before even clicking that link that it would be "Show them to me"

"If you're a big fat man, I'm a titty fan and I'd love to see yours too"

Submitted by RoadSong at 2010-07-21 13:36:23 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by ridiculous (user info) at 2010-07-21 06:46:56 PDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Ladies
Show Me
Your
Hooters!
~~~

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GCOIeYSwbXs

Submitted by monkeyswithguns at 2010-07-21 13:26:12 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by F.J.Bell at 2010-07-21 05:04:49 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

You've just got one of those faces, pal. I'd never tire of kicking it.

x

Submitted by ridiculous at 2010-07-21 05:02:44 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

No seriously... I was just walking down the street, granted it was three am and a bad neighborhood but I didn't frequent the area, hadn't pissed anyone off recently or anything! Some guy I didn't even recognize just started shooting!

Submitted by F.J.Bell at 2010-07-21 04:40:06 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I’ve also been shot at for no apparent reason.

~~~~

Come on now. There was probably a very valid reason. Think about it.

Submitted by Psygns_of_the_Tymes at 2010-07-21 04:31:51 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Haha, I shagged a 'mates' sister for her first time. It wasn't her birthday, or mine for that matter. I just wanted to piss her brother off and she was happy to oblige.

He wasn't a happy chappy.

Submitted by simple_catalyst at 2010-07-20 21:28:58 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

Submitted by X54 at 2010-07-20 21:23:17 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Bike week FTW!

A girl once gave me sex for my birthday. It wasn't my first time, or hers, but it was ours.

Submitted by Soyware at 2010-07-20 21:00:52 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

#6 made me say "fuck ya" out loud

Submitted by cheerios at 2010-07-20 20:03:36 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

i might just jump on this bandwagon. it'd be tough to come up with ten stories though.

Submitted by RoadSong at 2010-07-20 16:43:03 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2010-07-20 13:32:18 PDT (#)
Ranking: 2

You had me until you used "dangerous" and "Hell's Angels" in the same context. The Angels haven't even been considered tough since the late '70s (early '80s at the latest). The Pagans took over the drugs, the Outlaws took over the guns, and the Mongols took over the murder-for-hire rackets. I have actually seen an Angel riding a GoldWing WITH HIS COLORS ON! Come on...


Losing your virginity as a birthday present is pretty epic, though.
~~~
Tennis shoes! Some of the club now wear tennis shoes instead of badass black steel toed biker boots.
New game, new rules.
*shrugs*

Born near Fontana - me. My dad's first name was Harley, no kiddin.

Submitted by rob_berg at 2010-07-20 16:33:30 EDT (#)
Rating: 2


Losing your virginity as a birthday present is pretty epic

---

indeed.

Submitted by rob_berg at 2010-07-20 16:33:00 EDT (#)
Rating: 2


An excellent entry to a delightful bandwagon.

Submitted by SilvrWolf at 2010-07-20 16:32:18 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

You had me until you used "dangerous" and "Hell's Angels" in the same context. The Angels haven't even been considered tough since the late '70s (early '80s at the latest). The Pagans took over the drugs, the Outlaws took over the guns, and the Mongols took over the murder-for-hire rackets. I have actually seen an Angel riding a GoldWing WITH HIS COLORS ON! Come on...


Losing your virginity as a birthday present is pretty epic, though.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2010-07-20 16:11:55 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

These must be lies because I'm fairly certain that you are probably still a virgin.

Submitted by RoadSong at 2010-07-20 16:09:34 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Starting to understand why I understand. heh

Submitted by FALLEN at 2010-07-20 16:08:27 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

8. you da white devil, always a reason.

Submitted by Procon at 2010-07-20 16:07:04 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

The real seal of approval here would be a +2 from Experima. Without that, you're shit.

Submitted by YourNameHere at 2010-07-20 16:01:20 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by redskieslookfake at 2010-07-20 16:01:07 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

7) I lost my virginity to a good friends sister, it was her birthday present to me, with her boyfriends consent (I am pretty sure it was actually his idea.).


Happy birthday indeed!

Submitted by skrapmetal at 2010-07-20 15:59:02 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Entertaining stuff, and the filename was worth the effort it took to find it with Chrome.


Wait a minute, Marge. I saw "Mrs. Doubtfire." This is a man in drag!

-- Homer Simpson
Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala(annoyed grunt)ocious