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The BOSH Man! SEES THE POWER!!!!!

Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH at 2010-07-26 12:34:16 EDT
Rating: 1.55 on 22 ratings (22 reviews) (Review this item) (V)

I do 4000 pushups and almost 2000 pullups every day. Lately I've been gettin jacked up on five hour energy and cocaine and throwing various items into outer space with nothing but brute arm strength, including Scruggs' banjo collection. He cried for about 3 weeks in a row after I did that. Think I give a fuck? Yea right.

Turns out, the last banjo I threw crashed into a pretty bosh spaceship run by intergalactic bounty hunters on the prowl for some other space narcs, including Thunderlips.

Thunderlips has been pretty much raging atomic leg drops on everything in sight, so catching the attention of space narcs was pretty much inevitable by my count, so i'm gonna go ahead and let myself off the hook for drawing them to earth. In any event, I went over the Thunderlips' house to warn him about the space narcs and found him tea-bagging Tommy 'The Machine' Gunn from Rocky 5.

"Hey Dude, nice work that guy is a faggot"

"OHHHHHHH YEAAAA!!!!!!!!!"

"Isn't that Macho Man's thing? C'mon man you're better than that"

"HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!"

"hmmmm close, but that's Hacksaw Jim Dougan"

Meanwhile Tommy Gunn is chugging Thunderlips' balls. I just lit up a cigarette and nodded in agreement.

"Listen, its not important. I just came over to tell you that some space narcs are heading this way, probably to rape you. I'm getting some beer ready because I know these guys from my own space travels and they like to party. Scruggs caught wind of their arrival and is lubing his butthole in anticipation. I think you should quit leg-dropping everything in sight and go undercover so as to not get raped by space narcs. Perhaps if you weren't such a faggot all the time we wouldn't be having this conversation."

Thunderlips stopped dropping his sack into Tommy Gunn's mouth for a second, seemed to contemplate my offer, then shit his pants.

When the space narcs arrived we drank about 50 beers and pissed on Scruggs while he was violated by the bounty hunters. Thunderlips came out of left field and gave the bounty narcs the biggest atomic leg drop i've ever seen or even heard of. It was so fucking bosh me and scruggs farted in perfect harmony.

Turns out, I underestimated Thunderlips' power. I gave him a high five and he forgave me, whichw as pretty bosh of him. Years later, I got a few more 5 hour energies and threw the space narcs back into outer space with my brute strength and used their space ship to build a new house for Thunderlips.. we hammer down beers and travel through time and space on a daily basis.




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Submitted by SkullBiter at 2010-07-29 12:40:43 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by webba at 2010-07-29 11:58:47 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

I ... just .... what? ....

+4 for teabagging Tommy Gun

Meanwhile Tommy Gunn is chugging Thunderlips' balls. I just lit up a cigarette and nodded in agreement.

-2 for enjoying it

Submitted by F.J.Bell at 2010-07-29 09:54:15 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

I saw Jake the Snake Roberts out in the street once. I wasn't sure if it was him or not until I saw him DDT someone onto a car roof.

Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH at 2010-07-29 09:51:46 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

who is hulk hogan? this story is about Thunderlips!!!

Submitted by F.J.Bell at 2010-07-29 09:46:45 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

I can't believe you made a story about Hulk Hogan so dull.

Submitted by Susie_Derkins at 2010-07-28 21:40:10 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

*lights five cigs at once, nods in agreement*

Submitted by redskieslookfake at 2010-07-28 14:54:31 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

As I have said before, and as I shall say again, Bosh.

Submitted by icarus1987 at 2010-07-28 14:49:35 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

>>I think you should quit leg-dropping everything in sight and go undercover so as to not get raped by space narcs. Perhaps if you weren't such a faggot all the time we wouldn't be having this conversation.<<

Is possibly the best line ever on ubersite. Or anywhere. It's almost enough to make me cry, but I'm not a faggot like that.

Submitted by Soyware at 2010-07-27 22:03:32 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Hoo yeah!

Submitted by Procon at 2010-07-27 09:36:21 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Goddamned fucking funny.

Submitted by Poots at 2010-07-27 08:48:04 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

¡muy bosho!

¡ME GUSTA!

Submitted by beeltea at 2010-07-27 02:12:58 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Ctrl+f: "The Kid Who Knows Everything" = no results.

:(

Submitted by Cakes at 2010-07-26 23:35:48 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

In 2003, Earl Scruggs received a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.
...

This must have devastated you?

Submitted by Shlongy at 2010-07-26 18:29:52 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Only 4000 pushups?

Submitted by YELLOW-MAN at 2010-07-26 16:19:02 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

You should do a post where you face off with Thunder Jock, though I'm sure you'll win as he's not as socially outgoing due to his online diagnosed aspergers.

Submitted by YourNameHere at 2010-07-26 15:17:26 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Submitted by skrapmetal at 2010-07-26 14:00:24 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

That which Equinus Terranus espoused.

Submitted by FALLEN at 2010-07-26 13:40:38 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

BOSH

Submitted by Doodles at 2010-07-26 13:24:00 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Perhaps if you weren't such a faggot all the time we wouldn't be having this conversation.

Stolen

Submitted by GroundHorse at 2010-07-26 13:21:51 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Hey man,great to see you again!

Let me take a nice big sniff of original bosh!
It's been a while...

Submitted by FATMANTPK at 2010-07-26 12:58:32 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB at 2010-07-26 12:51:56 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

*Plays some Molly Hatchet*


Mmm...incapacitating.

-- Homer Simpson
The Springfield Connection