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It's All The Same To Me.

Submitted by FALLEN at 2010-10-18 12:48:52 EDT
Rating: 1.18 on 29 ratings (29 reviews) (Review this item) (V)

Ah, Britain, how I love you.
From your music, the food (yes food, no it’s not all boiled), your women; I’m a self admitted anglophile.

But we need to have a talk.
Why? Why do you insist on having different words for the same things as us?
Now hold on, I can hear you already saying “You Yanks slaughter OUR language”
Slaughter is a bit rough don’t ya think?

I’m not talking about words specific to geography or influence from other languages. For example let’s take an Orange, the fruit. We would call it an orange while the Australians would call it a digeryzangadoo or some nonsense, because of the influence of the Aborigines.
And the inbreeding.

What I mean is there seems to be a concerted effort to have names for things that DO make sense, but are different.
Lemme show you.

Torch: US- a stick with fire UK- a flashlight. They both give off light, but storming Castle Frankenstein with pitchforks and a flashlight sort of loses something.

Biscuit: Do I even need to bring this one up? Both are a baked product but, c’mon it’s a cookie. You know it, I know it.

Boot: US- um..a boot. UK- the trunk of a car. Listen, people put stuff in a storage trunk, just like a car trunk, storage. A boot isn’t even at the bottom of the car. If you called tires boots, I could understand that sort of.

Bonnet: UK- hood of a car. US- Bonnets are hats, hats go on your head, hoods go on your head. Your car has no head.
Since America invented the car I say we win that one.

Aubergine: You’re not French, it’s an Eggplant

Courgette: Seriously, you’re not French. It’s a zucchini

Football: I’m not touching this one

Car park: parking lot Yeah I guess it’s the same, but car parks sound like a playground for cars.

Pickle: to the Americans it’s a pickled cucumber, to the Brits it’s our pickle relish. A pickle is a Gherkin and relish is made out of pickles. I don’t know who wins that one.

Fanny: The UK pussy has gotten a downgrade in the States to the butt. Mostly kids use the term fanny. I can only imagine what a fanny pack is in England.

Nappies: diapers. Well, ok butts get wiped and to wipe things you can use a napkin.

Napkin: This one is interesting. In the UK feminine products are called towels; in the US they are napkins. This would imply that there is a very serious difference in lady parts across the ocean. Wanting to be as accurate as possible I have spent exhaustive amounts of time looking at representative British pussy.
Hours and hours and hours, long into the night………..
Mmmmmm
Sorry..um yeah. Where was I?
Oh, it’s just the name difference, Brit Pussy is A-ok!

I always get hungry after that last topic so back to food shall we?

Crumpets: As far as Yanks go, all we know about crumpets is that they come after the words “Tea and..” . They look like English Muffins, not cupcake looking muffins, round disk looking bready things. I’ve never had one but English muffins are made from dough while Crumpets are made of batter, so I assume they are like a corn muffin feel inside. Corn Muffins are like cupcakes made from corn, but they are not corn cakes. Go figure.

Tea: a drink made by seeping leaves in hot water. AWESOME we agree on something.
Kinda.
Without starting the tea bag vs. tea pot lecture, Tea is also an event, its dinner. So it’s a meal and a beverage. You can have tea with Tea and you can have coffee with Tea also. A warning to visiting Yanks, don’t ask for Green Tea or, God forbid, ICED tea. Just don’t.

Snickers candy bars: stay with me here, you used to call Snickers, Marathon. A Marathon bar here is an energy bar. For a while yours was branded with both names till you got with the program and called it Snickers. Yea!! Till this showed up http://www.bringbackmarathon.org/
WTF?

Mars bars: This one makes my head hurt. Your Mars bar is a sweeter version of our Milky Way (which is not the same as your Milky Way as yours is very close to our 3Musketeers). Our Mars bar was called Snickers Almond for a while but is now called Mars again and is still not the same as yours. I don’t even know what I just said there.

Well despite the extra U’s and Whilst’s yes , we are different but American English is not that far off from British English despite what they say. I won’t go any further here; the last three really did a number on me. So long for now and if you will excuse me I think I will continue my study of Brit lady bits.
Thorough research is very important.

Cheers!



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Submitted by Psygns_of_the_Tymes at 2010-10-20 03:43:32 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2010-10-19 12:40:13 BST (#)
Ranking: 0

Tuts- it's obvious that Oz has no clue where it wants to be on the issue.

Redic and Psygns- Have either of you ever had banana stuffed french toast? come back when you have.

-----
No and I never will. It's fench.

Sorry to bon on your pissfire.

Submitted by keden7 at 2010-10-19 23:11:09 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB at 2010-10-19 12:51:25 EDT (#)
Rating: 2


Submitted by loki at 2010-10-19 12:44:50 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Hearing the kids across the pond refer to a sweater as a jumper makes me giggle.
no reason really
but there it is

Submitted by Poots at 2010-10-19 10:51:23 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Have you not heard urban african americans/guido jerseans/hickbilly backwoods rednecks/hippies speak? If that's not a slaughter I don't know what is.

The real terror to the english language, however, are those damn middle eastern people. The hispanics are bad but the friggen middle eastern people should just stay away from the english language unless they are 3rd generation natives....by god!

I wonder what it sounds like when deaf brit speaks. Do they share the accent of their contrymen or does it sound like US deaf speak? Do they have nice looking vaginas?

Submitted by FALLEN at 2010-10-19 07:40:13 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Tuts- it's obvious that Oz has no clue where it wants to be on the issue.

Redic and Psygns- Have either of you ever had banana stuffed french toast? come back when you have.

Submitted by F.J.Bell at 2010-10-19 07:00:47 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

This obsession with all things middle england is getting a bit tired, man. Nothing wrong with a little character development, y'know?

Submitted by Psygns_of_the_Tymes at 2010-10-19 04:03:55 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Aye redic, we do make pretty good brekkies - it's the most important meal of the day after all.

Submitted by Psygns_of_the_Tymes at 2010-10-19 04:02:36 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Tea and dinner are totally different meals. Tea is at tea time (like 5/6pm) and dinner is at dinner time or 'luncheon' as some posh cunts refer to it. Others who have the time may have dinner int evening at about 7/8pm, but that's a bit close to supper for me.

Also - THERE IS NO TEA IN THE CUPBOARD AND I HAVE NO CAFFINE IN MY SYSTEM!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAARERRRRRRRRRRGGGGHHHHH!!!!1!!11!!1!!!ONE!

Submitted by orphelia at 2010-10-19 03:55:56 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

you don't have to top at the shop you can do it at cash tills and over the phone using a debit or credit card.

and we won't let you into england again. you smell of fish and say upsetting things about canadian authors.

Submitted by ridiculous at 2010-10-19 03:51:58 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

This filled me with a tremendous feeling of 'Meh'. Who cares what things are called so long as you can get what you ordered. P.S. with the exception of chicken fried steak and shit on a shingle the brit's breakie kicked our breakfasts ass every time... though I've not ordered an omelet in Britland... Maybe next time I wind up there I'll remember to try that.
OH And another thing! Why the hell does EVERYTHING to do with cellular communication have to be on a freaking pay as you go system?? Do you know how fucking annoying it is to be pissed in the middle of the night in an area where cab's don't stop for you - and nothing is open to buy a top up?!?! /rant

Submitted by willartstorg at 2010-10-19 01:39:18 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2010-10-18 23:30:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Mars bars: This one makes my head hurt. Your Mars bar is a sweeter version of our Milky Way (which is not the same as your Milky Way as yours is very close to our 3Musketeers). Our Mars bar was called Snickers Almond for a while but is now called Mars again and is still not the same as yours. I don’t even know what I just said there.


this saved it.

confuses the shit out of me too.

milky ways are almost but not quite mars bars.

from my, english, perspective.

=================
Nothing short of an atomic blast could make your head hurt.

Submitted by apollo88 at 2010-10-18 23:30:27 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Mars bars: This one makes my head hurt. Your Mars bar is a sweeter version of our Milky Way (which is not the same as your Milky Way as yours is very close to our 3Musketeers). Our Mars bar was called Snickers Almond for a while but is now called Mars again and is still not the same as yours. I don’t even know what I just said there.


this saved it.

confuses the shit out of me too.

milky ways are almost but not quite mars bars.

from my, english, perspective.


Submitted by skrapmetal at 2010-10-18 22:41:49 EDT (#)
Rating: 0


Submitted by TuTs at 2010-10-18 21:57:23 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I find your complete ignorance of Australia insulting.

We go English.
Torch
Biscuit
Boot
Bonnet

Then Yank.
Eggplant
Zucchini

Then we have our own.
AFL

Back to English.
Carpark

To our own.
A pickle= pickled cucumber or gherkins. Then some pickle= sweet mustard pickles or chutney.

Back to English.
Fanny is a girls name or a vag. A fanny pack is a bum bag.
Nappies/huggies

To our own
Period Pad, Pads, Tampons.

Back to English
Crumpets are crumpets, yummy with honey and lots of butter

Agreeing with both
Tea can be in a teapot or in a bag in a teacup with a saucer and a little biscuit on the side, but then tea can also be dinner. But dinner can be lunch, tea is never lunch, supper is a little snack like crumpets that you have after dinner and breakfast is breaky, but after 10 and before twelve it is brunch which means the food is better.

Snickers is a nougat with nuts and caramel on top dipped in chocolate. Mars is nougat with caramel dipped in chocolate. We don't do marathons. Milky way is nougat dipped in chocolate.

I'm in a class right now btw pretending to take notes.

Submitted by shitfuck at 2010-10-18 20:25:10 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

white trash
screw all u white folks talkin shitt , u big time eh sayin racist *** on da net , thas prob da only place where u cowards can open ur mouth. Second u say these dumb lowlifes mental challenged people. first off they makin way mire money then u will imagine . thinking of clever schemes of bringing in dope to the country , doing risky hitts in day light , I dont call that a mentaly challenged dealer , these criminals are very smart and sophisticated . u go to a resteraunt u wont even noe ur talkig to one if he stood there right besie u . pretty much dont talk *** bout thing u dont noe oh yah and brown pride to all those scum bag immature haters

Submitted by SilvrWolf at 2010-10-18 15:58:46 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

Submitted by Psygns_of_the_Tymes at 2010-10-18 15:57:10 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Psssh nee way man, thas canna be boshin wors taalking win thas takkin wor wimmun. Ye cunt!

Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys at 2010-10-18 14:56:54 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Ah hivnae goat a scooby fit yer spikin aboot min, its ah a rummel oh pish tae me, ken fit like loon.

Submitted by icarus1987 at 2010-10-18 14:40:23 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

You forgot "fag" :(

Submitted by FALLEN at 2010-10-18 14:02:59 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

You got the snickers wrong it's snickers
***********************

Is it me or are these the same two words?
it's no fair saying the same words are diferent when they are the same.
thats cheating

it was getting confusing enough without adding pickelets to the list.

Submitted by SgtHartman at 2010-10-18 14:01:54 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I love how its referred to as "our" language.

The brit language is as much an amalgom of cultural influence as ours. To be honest most languages are.

English is a slut, it takes all comers and begs them to come back for more.

Shes a whore for vernacular.

Submitted by RoadSong at 2010-10-18 13:51:17 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Did you hear that, Marge? She called me a baboon! The stupidest,
ugliest, smelliest ape of them all!

-- Homer Simpson
Lisa's Substitute

Excuse me while I find a strumpet-er CRUMPET.

Submitted by orphelia at 2010-10-18 13:49:45 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

You got the snickers wrong it's snickers.

There is a lot I could add but I am busy.

Submitted by orphelia at 2010-10-18 13:46:48 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

EVER.

Also, it's sanitary towel. You Yanks never listen

Submitted by orphelia at 2010-10-18 13:45:51 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

This would have been better if you just posted the *MASSIVE* argument we had regarding crumpets and english muffins, you know, the one that caused me never to speak to you again.

:0)

Submitted by S.I. Co. at 2010-10-18 13:04:58 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

How remarkably boring!

Submitted by skrapmetal at 2010-10-18 12:56:44 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

FFWWWAAAUUGH!

Submitted by Jack_McCallum at 2010-10-18 12:52:03 EDT (#)
Rating: 0


Addendum: There are a few crumpets on uber, you know.


Where is Bart, anyway? His dinner's getting all cold and eaten.

-- Homer Simpson
Bart After Dark