It's All The Same To Me.Submitted by FALLEN at 2010-10-18 12:48:52 EDT
Rating: 1.18 on 29 ratings (29 reviews) (Review this item) (V)
Ah, Britain, how I love you.
From your music, the food (yes food, no it’s not all boiled), your women; I’m a self admitted anglophile.
But we need to have a talk.
Why? Why do you insist on having different words for the same things as us?
Now hold on, I can hear you already saying “You Yanks slaughter OUR language”
Slaughter is a bit rough don’t ya think?
I’m not talking about words specific to geography or influence from other languages. For example let’s take an Orange, the fruit. We would call it an orange while the Australians would call it a digeryzangadoo or some nonsense, because of the influence of the Aborigines.
And the inbreeding.
What I mean is there seems to be a concerted effort to have names for things that DO make sense, but are different.
Lemme show you.
Torch: US- a stick with fire UK- a flashlight. They both give off light, but storming Castle Frankenstein with pitchforks and a flashlight sort of loses something.
Biscuit: Do I even need to bring this one up? Both are a baked product but, c’mon it’s a cookie. You know it, I know it.
Boot: US- um..a boot. UK- the trunk of a car. Listen, people put stuff in a storage trunk, just like a car trunk, storage. A boot isn’t even at the bottom of the car. If you called tires boots, I could understand that sort of.
Bonnet: UK- hood of a car. US- Bonnets are hats, hats go on your head, hoods go on your head. Your car has no head.
Since America invented the car I say we win that one.
Aubergine: You’re not French, it’s an Eggplant
Courgette: Seriously, you’re not French. It’s a zucchini
Football: I’m not touching this one
Car park: parking lot Yeah I guess it’s the same, but car parks sound like a playground for cars.
Pickle: to the Americans it’s a pickled cucumber, to the Brits it’s our pickle relish. A pickle is a Gherkin and relish is made out of pickles. I don’t know who wins that one.
Fanny: The UK pussy has gotten a downgrade in the States to the butt. Mostly kids use the term fanny. I can only imagine what a fanny pack is in England.
Nappies: diapers. Well, ok butts get wiped and to wipe things you can use a napkin.
Napkin: This one is interesting. In the UK feminine products are called towels; in the US they are napkins. This would imply that there is a very serious difference in lady parts across the ocean. Wanting to be as accurate as possible I have spent exhaustive amounts of time looking at representative British pussy.
Hours and hours and hours, long into the night………..
Sorry..um yeah. Where was I?
Oh, it’s just the name difference, Brit Pussy is A-ok!
I always get hungry after that last topic so back to food shall we?
Crumpets: As far as Yanks go, all we know about crumpets is that they come after the words “Tea and..” . They look like English Muffins, not cupcake looking muffins, round disk looking bready things. I’ve never had one but English muffins are made from dough while Crumpets are made of batter, so I assume they are like a corn muffin feel inside. Corn Muffins are like cupcakes made from corn, but they are not corn cakes. Go figure.
Tea: a drink made by seeping leaves in hot water. AWESOME we agree on something.
Without starting the tea bag vs. tea pot lecture, Tea is also an event, its dinner. So it’s a meal and a beverage. You can have tea with Tea and you can have coffee with Tea also. A warning to visiting Yanks, don’t ask for Green Tea or, God forbid, ICED tea. Just don’t.
Snickers candy bars: stay with me here, you used to call Snickers, Marathon. A Marathon bar here is an energy bar. For a while yours was branded with both names till you got with the program and called it Snickers. Yea!! Till this showed up http://www.bringbackmarathon.org/
Mars bars: This one makes my head hurt. Your Mars bar is a sweeter version of our Milky Way (which is not the same as your Milky Way as yours is very close to our 3Musketeers). Our Mars bar was called Snickers Almond for a while but is now called Mars again and is still not the same as yours. I don’t even know what I just said there.
Well despite the extra U’s and Whilst’s yes , we are different but American English is not that far off from British English despite what they say. I won’t go any further here; the last three really did a number on me. So long for now and if you will excuse me I think I will continue my study of Brit lady bits.
Thorough research is very important.