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GRUEBERFEST ROUND 3 MATCHUPS BWAAAHAHAHAHA

Submitted by Ducky at 2010-10-19 03:01:31 EDT
Rating: 1.26 on 44 ratings (44 reviews) (Review this item) (V)

Well played! Not a single forfeit in this round, which means your pets are all safe from my wilting gaze.

Fish are not pets by the way. They are furniture.

I am pleased to announce that after much throwing down and verbal bitch-slapping (actually this aspect was far tamer than usual), we are down to our final 4 in the race for the title. Those who fell in the last round fought valiantly…with some amazingly twisted tales, but will now slink back down to the underworld to lick their infected, gangrenous, pus-filled, gross smelling mortal wounds.

FINAL 4: Congratulations on scratching, biting, and burrowing yourselves this far.
Your next tales of tattered fury (I am fresh out of adjectives) must be submitted by the end of the day on Sunday, October 24th. Votes will count until exactly 24 hours later, and the grid will then be updated.

Happy writing!


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Submitted by Ducky at 2010-10-26 01:53:16 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

It looks like brdn and silvr have both forfeited...shame. Option now is to crown the person with the highest rating Gruemaster OR...to have a final round with the two contestants who won this one...sort of redundant but I'm leaning towards it.

Submitted by RoadSong at 2010-10-19 14:47:43 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2010-10-19 11:27:59 PDT (#)
Ranking: 2

D-lister, Shlongy? You wound me. I'm a solid C+, at least.

Ducky, it's true. I'm a tenth-grade high school drop out living smack in the middle of Appalachia. I have bad teeth, speak with an unconquerable drawl, and can raise, catch, hunt and/or slaughter my own food. I make homemade wine from summer berries and fruits and can drive anything with tracks or wheels (and some things without them). I let my hair grow out and virtually abhor shaving, so I look like the proverbial mountain man most of the time. The bib overalls and camouflage gear don't help that image much, either. I like carrying myself this way because it throws people so completely off-guard when I speak. The looks I get when I start waxing philosophical or rambling off factoids are utterly priceless.

Brdn_Nkd is going to be a tough opponent. Congratulations and good luck to everyone!
~~~

California hillbilly squirrel checkin in!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I4s0nzsU1Wg

Submitted by SilvrWolf at 2010-10-19 14:33:08 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

And YOU, orphelia! You shall rue the day you slandered me.


Well, go on - start rueing!

Submitted by SilvrWolf at 2010-10-19 14:27:59 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

D-lister, Shlongy? You wound me. I'm a solid C+, at least.

Ducky, it's true. I'm a tenth-grade high school drop out living smack in the middle of Appalachia. I have bad teeth, speak with an unconquerable drawl, and can raise, catch, hunt and/or slaughter my own food. I make homemade wine from summer berries and fruits and can drive anything with tracks or wheels (and some things without them). I let my hair grow out and virtually abhor shaving, so I look like the proverbial mountain man most of the time. The bib overalls and camouflage gear don't help that image much, either. I like carrying myself this way because it throws people so completely off-guard when I speak. The looks I get when I start waxing philosophical or rambling off factoids are utterly priceless.

Brdn_Nkd is going to be a tough opponent. Congratulations and good luck to everyone!

Submitted by RoadSong at 2010-10-19 13:36:53 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by Hornet (user info) at 2010-10-19 06:12:19 PDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Oh my god, Roadsong? I am doomed. Thanks for your votes everyone. Good luck Roadsong.
~~~
Oh my god, Hornet? I am doomed.
eek and squeek

Submitted by RoadSong at 2010-10-19 13:34:06 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by ridiculous (user info) at 2010-10-19 02:20:48 PDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Silvr is the epitome of why I love Rednecks - For every bucktoothed slackjawed sister lover there is an intelligent, articulate, well educated exception to the rule in them thar woods. Part of the reason I have on occasion referred to myself as a Californian Redneck.
~~~
The term "Redneck" offends my pointed sensitive furry California Hillbilly ears. heh

Submitted by Shlongy at 2010-10-19 12:15:38 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Oh...I see that 4 D-Listers made the finals.

Submitted by YourNameHere at 2010-10-19 12:14:36 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by Psygns_of_the_Tymes at 2010-10-19 10:09:41 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I like where you're going with this skrap....

Please do go oonnn....

Submitted by skrapmetal at 2010-10-19 10:04:40 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Howzabout you write a story about a guy who's writing stories for a writing contest on some backwater website. The guy bribes some Brit babe to throw him the contest in the second round with promises of teh hawt sexxins, and before you know it she's flown over the pond at his expense and they're going at it like monkeys on crack. Little do they know that the loser of that round did not take the loss lightly, knows where they are, has all manner of shiny pointy cutty things, and is bringing a number of shiny pointy cutty things with him up the driveway right now. He even has a 'phone with which he can make comments on that very backwater website from anywhere, including outside the living room window. You know the one - with the white curtains and the one electric candle.

Knock knock, Neo.






j/k, of course.

Submitted by FALLEN at 2010-10-19 09:50:39 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Write something about glass

Submitted by Brdn_Nkd at 2010-10-19 09:29:45 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

DAMMMMMNNNN!!!!! sorry Skrap, thought you had it. NOW what do i write about?!

Submitted by Ducky at 2010-10-19 09:15:42 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Brdn: I sat at my computer until exactly midnight (PDT as per uber) like a douche just so that I could cut it at the right time.

Submitted by Hornet at 2010-10-19 09:12:19 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Oh my god, Roadsong? I am doomed. Thanks for your votes everyone. Good luck Roadsong.

Submitted by skrapmetal at 2010-10-19 08:51:06 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Stellar artwork, btw.

Submitted by Brdn_Nkd at 2010-10-19 08:32:42 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

what?! i'm pretty sure if we went with the deadline or something that Skrap won. i even congratulated him.

Submitted by orphelia at 2010-10-19 08:28:54 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

I feel really bad skrap. I wanted to give you +2 but I did prefer brdns, so I settled for the zero. If we all +2'ed each other, there would be no winner. Just a bunch of losers...

Submitted by skrapmetal at 2010-10-19 08:26:44 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I got beat fair and square. Good times.




Wait, what?

Submitted by TuTs at 2010-10-19 07:05:41 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Ohh congrats kittens. My fish are pets ducky, evil serial killer pets.

Submitted by F.J.Bell at 2010-10-19 06:53:35 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

This is positively nailbiting.

Submitted by ridiculous at 2010-10-19 05:59:06 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

It's OK... I'm used to rejection. *kicks the dust at his feet around morosely.*

Submitted by orphelia at 2010-10-19 05:53:38 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

and it's a resounding no from me too, skunk feet.

bye ducky. :-) i'd say the difference between myself and ducky is ducky won't eat everything she makes herself. in one sitting. without stopping for air. lol

Submitted by Ducky at 2010-10-19 05:51:44 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

i am already married to the cats i plan on owning in the future

Submitted by Ducky at 2010-10-19 05:50:51 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

oooooooooh love the ginger idea...it's almost impossible to find ingredients i want here. i mean, they're there, but it's a day long adventure through different markets until you hit it. Thank you so much for your advice - i'll be trying some of your suggestions.

i feel like a fag for camping on my own post so i'm going to make some dinner now

Submitted by ridiculous at 2010-10-19 05:49:19 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Whoa whoa.. you two make candies? Like make make them? Not like buy them from the store? Will one of (or both) you marry me?

Submitted by orphelia at 2010-10-19 05:47:03 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

I've never heard of danish pastry extract ever. vermicelli is chocolate strands, they coat rum balls in them. You could also try rolling them in crushed crystallised ginger or crushed up ammeretti biscuits. I know what you mean though, the whole thing is soft if you don't temper it and that kinda spoils the sweet.
cranberries is a wicked idea for xmas.

Submitted by Ducky at 2010-10-19 05:40:47 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

nice...i scrapbooked that page - thanks :)

Submitted by Ducky at 2010-10-19 05:39:24 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

I've made white, milk, and dark chocolate...but I prefer dark. Sometimes I put flavouring into the ganache (hazelnut or some danish pastry extract...was surprised that that existed but it's yummy). Lately I've been putting heaps of starbucks via into them. I roll them in cocoa, coconut, or crushed nuts typically, and sometimes put dried cranberries into them. What is this vermicelli? That sounds like pasta.

Submitted by orphelia at 2010-10-19 05:34:37 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

http://www.wonderhowto.com/how-to-temper-chocolate-get-gloss-and-snap-208605/view/

that is a really good demonstration. you could try the process without the thermometer but I don't think the results will be nearly as good. what truffles have you made? god i want something sweet to eat now. f you coat them in something else once dipped - like dessicated cocounut or vermicelli - then the lack of gloss won't show but you won't get that 'bite' you are after

Submitted by Ducky at 2010-10-19 05:26:11 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

I make truffles, and I want to coat the batch I'm working on with chocolate. I want it to have that snap to it.

Submitted by orphelia at 2010-10-19 05:24:34 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

no. why what are you making?

Submitted by Ducky at 2010-10-19 05:21:57 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

I own a rice cooker which makes me 1/8 Asian.

Submitted by Ducky at 2010-10-19 05:20:52 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

orph you're a cake maker right? is there any way to temper chocolate properly without a thermometer?

Submitted by ridiculous at 2010-10-19 05:20:48 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Silvr is the epitome of why I love Rednecks - For every bucktoothed slackjawed sister lover there is an intelligent, articulate, well educated exception to the rule in them thar woods. Part of the reason I have on occasion referred to myself as a Californian Redneck.

Submitted by Ducky at 2010-10-19 05:19:17 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

how disheartening. well for his sake i hope she's very handsome.

Submitted by orphelia at 2010-10-19 05:15:51 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

i heard his name was billy bob and he was married to his sister

Submitted by Ducky at 2010-10-19 05:15:15 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

not possible.

Submitted by Ducky at 2010-10-19 05:10:42 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Silvr is a redneck?

Submitted by orphelia at 2010-10-19 05:09:33 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

*puddle not poodle
fuckme

Submitted by orphelia at 2010-10-19 05:09:06 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

you are so wrong, redic. you mean a poodle of someone elses urine. silvr is weird like that.

Submitted by ridiculous at 2010-10-19 05:00:05 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Silvr Silvr he's our man! If he can't do it he'll pass out drunk in a puddle of his own urine somewhere in the backwoods of Indiana or some equally redneckish location!

Submitted by orphelia at 2010-10-19 03:33:33 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

+2 for the picture.

Submitted by orphelia at 2010-10-19 03:33:09 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Hornet ftw.

I'd say silvr but he lacks knowledge about birds and makes bad jokes.

Submitted by Psygns_of_the_Tymes at 2010-10-19 03:29:32 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I'm a white male, aged 18 to 49. Everyone listens to me! No matter
how dumb my suggestions are.

-- Homer Simpson
Lisa vs. Malibu Stacy


Sorry, Mr. Burns, but I don't go in for these backdoor shenanigans.
Sure I'm flattered, maybe even a little curious, but the answer is no!

-- Homer Simpson
Last Exit to Springfield