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Words to live by...

Submitted by rob_berg at 2011-01-09 19:45:15 EST
Rating: 1.0 on 64 ratings (65 reviews) (Review this item) (V)



Words-to-live-by.jpg
Words-to-live-by.jpg


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Submitted by Sage at 2013-10-18 09:03:50 EDT (#)

Submitted by LadyPlural at 2011-01-21 03:32:42 EST (#)
Rating: 0


Where is that man's penis?

**********

Inquiring minds.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2013-10-17 21:13:31 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

-12.

Submitted by JonnyX at 2013-10-17 17:30:20 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

awesome camwhore

Submitted by rob_berg at 2011-01-21 19:06:46 EST (#)
Rating: 1


He's being hung by his ball sack, sammich.

I'm not being audacious - just empirical.

Submitted by beeltea at 2011-01-21 18:32:41 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2011-01-21 02:05:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 1


Big YES on the "Berg-a-cue", sammich.

Then you could finally eat my ass, eh?

Homo.

---

Let me get this straight, or as straight as I can: you're the one who posted a picture on the internet of some guy getting hung from his dick and you have the audacity to call me a homo?

I not quite sure yet about this "internet".

Submitted by rob_berg at 2011-01-21 03:44:13 EST (#)
Rating: 1


I'm guessing that man's penis has recoiled into his abdomen and is now sticking out his ass.

Totally hardcore.

Submitted by LadyPlural at 2011-01-21 03:32:42 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Where is that man's penis?

Submitted by asmasta808 at 2011-01-21 02:43:43 EST (#)
Rating: -1

ballssacks ouch! and i ALWAYS makes promises to kill people when i'm angry.

Submitted by rob_berg at 2011-01-21 02:05:13 EST (#)
Rating: 1


Big YES on the "Berg-a-cue", sammich.

Then you could finally eat my ass, eh?

Homo.

Submitted by rob_berg at 2011-01-21 02:03:21 EST (#)
Rating: 1


...um... you know, things... that are less enjoyable to read than other things. I guess.

They might include racism or misogyny. Very rarely do I find any real value in either of those exercises in applied hatred.

Unnecessary, boring and incessant negativity. It's painful.




And stuff.






Submitted by rob_berg at 2011-01-21 01:53:25 EST (#)
Rating: 1



'PREFER' IT TO WHAT, RETARD?


Submitted by rob_berg at 2011-01-21 01:52:20 EST (#)
Rating: 1


For what it's worth - reading all of those phrases is enjoyable.

Sure it's pap - but I'd prefer to read those words and enjoy knowing that there are some deliciously intellectual folks out there.

Submitted by beeltea at 2011-01-20 21:13:12 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2010-08-02 04:58:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2


Cremation for me, I guess.

I don't have any sentimental attachment to the ashes either - spreading them might provide some people a sense of closure, and that kind of healing is encouraged if needed... but I personally don't give a shit where my remains get dumped... I'd prefer a green option to be honest.

Completely vaporizing the body would be rad too.
---

What if just cook you up in a barbecue? We'll call it a "Berg-a-cue"

Margaritas will be served. Jokes will be made.



Submitted by Fucking foul at 2011-01-15 15:22:50 EST (#)
Rating: 2

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH

Submitted by czwij at 2011-01-14 06:09:57 EST (#)
Rating: 0

good thing you've got that fan in the background....

?

Submitted by AJ at 2011-01-13 12:59:16 EST (#)
Rating: 0

How the hell does he get down from there???

Submitted by F.J.Bell at 2011-01-13 06:40:36 EST (#)
Rating: 2

That guy has some serious scrotal elasticity. Props.

Submitted by Ducky at 2011-01-12 09:06:34 EST (#)
Rating: 2

of course

Submitted by grÜeMaster emeritus and uberlord supreme at 2011-01-12 02:51:53 EST (#)
Rating: 1

Submitted by orphelia at 2011-01-12 01:33:39 EST (#)
Rating: 2

i did indeed, but that was not enough for me to recover from the mass of emo gay

besides

pretty certain the guy is hanging from his dick not his nutsack, i mean, i don't know the male anatomy well since most times i have seen it naked i have been drunk or drugged or pulled into a dark alley way from behind.

the talcum powder makes me curious

have your +2 though as i am fearful of your evil wrath
;-)

Submitted by Habeeb Thomas PhD at 2011-01-12 01:09:52 EST (#)
Rating: 2

imo reference dis post in my upcoming Uber extravaganza.. thank you kind pastor Rob

Submitted by adoghowls at 2011-01-11 19:27:48 EST (#)
Rating: 1

God dammit! why has my stomach ascended to my esophagus? Nice work, nice PAINFUL work.

Submitted by HurtByTheSun at 2011-01-11 16:58:27 EST (#)
Rating: 1

Gay until the end.

Then I came.

Submitted by august_sobriquet at 2011-01-11 11:08:50 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by willartstorg (user info) at 2011-01-10 20:18:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

Submitted by august_sobriquet (user info) at 2011-01-10 17:56:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0

I have never seen such a thing, thank you again, tour guide of the internet.
========
Stupid cunt.
---


Welll, I think rob's alright, so hopefully my comment didn't inspire such vitriol in his mind.

Here's another bubba-assuaging +2. prick.

Submitted by locksly at 2011-01-11 06:23:20 EST (#)
Rating: 2

srsly rob berg

Submitted by willartstorg at 2011-01-10 20:18:33 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by august_sobriquet (user info) at 2011-01-10 17:56:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0

I have never seen such a thing, thank you again, tour guide of the internet.
========
Stupid cunt.

Submitted by august_sobriquet at 2011-01-10 17:56:12 EST (#)
Rating: 0

I have never seen such a thing, thank you again, tour guide of the internet.

Submitted by X54 at 2011-01-10 17:07:40 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Holy fucking shit. How can they not pull off?

Submitted by rob_berg at 2011-01-10 16:39:39 EST (#)
Rating: 1


You did scroll all the way to the bottom, right Orphy?

: )

Submitted by Jsp at 2011-01-10 16:12:08 EST (#)
Rating: 1

Submitted by orphelia at 2011-01-10 15:10:48 EST (#)
Rating: 0

berg, you know you're on my very short auto +2 list? most of the time I wanna +2 you anyway, just for being you. But dude, this is the gayest most emo thing I have seen this century - and I recently went to a 30 seconds to mars gig, so, that is like, mega emo gay.

Man up, you evil poofter.

Submitted by rob_berg at 2011-01-10 12:38:03 EST (#)
Rating: 1


It does kinda look like an upside down dandy randy.

I was going to photoshop Shlongy's mug on there, but there really is only so much time you want to spend staring at a naked guy suspended by his pouch.

Submitted by SPECIALk at 2011-01-10 11:14:31 EST (#)
Rating: 1

is that danger_ranger? lol i had a feeling that he was a sexual deviant...

Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB at 2011-01-10 10:20:23 EST (#)
Rating: -2

Jesus Christ.

Submitted by S.I. Co. at 2011-01-10 08:31:45 EST (#)
Rating: 0

neat, you can do a google image search.

Submitted by Poots at 2011-01-10 08:19:28 EST (#)
Rating: 2

you forgot to put this one on your post bor_gerb: "THIS TOWN NEEDS AN ENEMA"

hmmm. that got my mind wondering. Is irrigating the rectum everything it's cracked(pun unintended) up to be?

Rectum irrigation is another completely hilarious discussion. Butt Gnomes come to mind. Little furry poo covered gnomes that tend to the pipes and make sure the water pressure is good. Ohhhh boy! There is a rotten apple in every bunch of course. The head butt gnome is corrupt with his own power. He pushes his underlings harder than he should. Makes them work over time with no extra pay. He chastises them in front of their families. All in vain I'm afraid. He's going to have a heart attack at the rate he's going. Sad state of affairs my friend. Sad indeed. Only one person is going to attend his funeral, Jerry Mcterry, and he only attended because he thought that there would be well to do female butt gnomes that he could pick up and take out for a drink. Sad.

Submitted by FALLEN at 2011-01-10 07:59:53 EST (#)
Rating: 2

well played.
there I was reading all these positive "look on the bright side" things and franticly looking for a sharp object to start cutting myself with when BAM!
old guy hanging by his beanbag

Submitted by indoninja at 2011-01-10 07:16:47 EST (#)
Rating: -2

NSFW

Submitted by Psygns_of_the_Tymes at 2011-01-10 05:47:37 EST (#)
Rating: 2

errrrr NSFW?

Submitted by BranDo at 2011-01-10 05:23:04 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Nice Berg, very nice.




Ballsy too!

Submitted by ridiculous at 2011-01-10 03:38:14 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Wow this site is full of miserable fucking people. FFS try smiling and having a laugh from time to time, then look in the mirror and have another laugh, it will be good for you.
I used to complain about the NSFW tag but I've decided I no longer care if someone objects to me looking at Uber because I don't want to be here anymore. Just going through the motions to finish this stupid thing now because I do not yet have something better lined up.

Submitted by rob_berg at 2011-01-10 03:05:24 EST (#)
Rating: 1


Hey - you rate how ever your little aorta desires, friendo.

Although I would suggest that the (definite) triteness is needed to properly set up the HOLYWTF?! image at the end.

Submitted by DaBeast at 2011-01-10 02:57:43 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Every single little saying - except the last one - is so trite that my asshole is all a'pucker. The last one is just ball-shrivelingly insane. The insanity woulda got you a +2 (I like insanity) but the trite got a -2 so it evened out.

Next time, skip the trite.


Submitted by rob_berg at 2011-01-10 02:45:49 EST (#)
Rating: 1


Samwise - it certainly wouldn't be the first time you were wrong about me.

Submitted by rob_berg at 2011-01-10 02:25:22 EST (#)
Rating: 1


...'ergo' you are trying WAY to hard.

But you seem to get yer e-kicks out of it - so god bless ya, nerd.

Submitted by YourNameHere at 2011-01-10 02:08:15 EST (#)
Rating: 0


Submitted by iddqd at 2011-01-10 01:05:08 EST (#)
Rating: 0

i couldnt agree more, faggots who bitch about no NSFW tags should go look up the meaning of 'personal responsibility' before they start bitching and moaning.

i also figured you for the sort of queer who would care about such butthurt, hence my comment.

Submitted by rob_berg at 2011-01-10 00:52:27 EST (#)
Rating: 1


While I would normally apply the NSFW tag - I think it would have ruined the surprise there Sammy.

Besides, if you have a job that cares about the shit you look at online you shouldn't be on this website.

Submitted by Snark at 2011-01-10 00:03:55 EST (#)
Rating: 2

OUCHY!

Submitted by iddqd at 2011-01-09 23:47:12 EST (#)
Rating: 0

also, while the gag is decent, you probably should have attached 'NSFW' to the title to save yourself the butthurt recrimination youll probably get from slack cunts who are all too happy to blame someone else for them wasting their employer's time and money looking at shit they shouldnt be on the net.

Submitted by willartstorg at 2011-01-09 23:45:03 EST (#)
Rating: 2

I'd rather be spared from idiots who can't work a scroll wheel.

Submitted by iddqd at 2011-01-09 23:42:52 EST (#)
Rating: 0

moronic hipster quotient: high.


anyone who needs or is somehow consoled/re-affirmed by shit like this should in actual fact probably kill themselves and spare the rest of us their shit.

Submitted by willartstorg at 2011-01-09 23:29:56 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2011-01-09 23:28:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 1


Anyone got a straight-razor?

===================
Dull butter knife?

Submitted by Wildman at 2011-01-09 23:28:28 EST (#)
Rating: 1


Anyone got a straight-razor?


Submitted by RoadSong at 2011-01-09 23:26:48 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Agree with most. Have real probs with "Everything Happens For A Reason"

That is so wrong.

Life is a crap shoot, a toss of the coin.

If I believed Everything Happens For A Reason, I would go instantly starkers.


Submitted by rob_berg at 2011-01-09 23:03:08 EST (#)
Rating: 1

Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2011-01-09 20:06:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

At first, I was all like, "shit like this doesn't belong on Uber. What the fuck is wrong with berg?"
Then I got to the last pic.

Well played.

---

Thank you, sir.

I was leafin' around Tumblr today and found this blog that was filled with all of these little sayings - and then the idea struck, and I laughed right out loud.

God bless this site.

Submitted by rob_berg at 2011-01-09 22:37:08 EST (#)
Rating: 1

Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2011-01-09 22:00:18 EST (#)
Ranking: -2

AWESOME!

---

Yes I am.

Submitted by skrapmetal at 2011-01-09 22:20:33 EST (#)
Rating: 1

Somehow, I just KNEW you looked like that.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2011-01-09 22:00:18 EST (#)
Rating: -2

AWESOME!

Submitted by Cuddles at 2011-01-09 20:45:49 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Just in the nick of time, really. :)

Submitted by Soyware at 2011-01-09 20:18:53 EST (#)
Rating: 2

One of those Uber posts that requires you to wait a minute and absorb it before you rate.

Submitted by SilvrWolf at 2011-01-09 20:06:42 EST (#)
Rating: 2

At first, I was all like, "shit like this doesn't belong on Uber. What the fuck is wrong with berg?"
Then I got to the last pic.

Well played.

Submitted by willartstorg at 2011-01-09 20:02:40 EST (#)
Rating: 2

"Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans."

-John Lennon

Submitted by FilthyMonkey at 2011-01-09 19:57:50 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Bwahahahahahahahahahaha!


Submitted by Passepartout at 2011-01-09 19:50:41 EST (#)
Rating: 0

JESUS FUCKING BULL TESTICLES.


He's taking funny talk.

-- Homer Simpson
Like Father, Like Clown