login / register
Forgive me. I'm drunk, on the train home from the game. Or don't.
Welcome to Ubersite!

I'm new, here's a story

Submitted by pen_name at 2011-01-22 02:31:12 EST
Rating: -0.72 on 21 ratings (21 reviews) (Review this item) (V)

My homeboy came at me dick first, I said, yo cuz, I don't roll like that, He said, word? Word, I said. So he put his thang back in his pants and we talked about wrestling for like an hour. After that we went to the park to watch the white kids try to score some weed off the big black Jamaican, who goes by the name of Rayray. It's always funny because there is always the one cracker who will step back and forth trying to work up the balls to ask Rayray, and sure enough, after we got there we raped Rayray.

Now raping a Jamaican is alot like every rape scene in every rape movie. There's no soundtrack. There's shuffling and shouts; and there's lots of bad angles so you really can't tell what's going on, but you do, because they are obvious about obscuring the rape. It's like what my lit professor said, "Newsies is Christian Bale's best work and if anyone disagrees with me they can blow me," which of course we did.

Christian Bales best work is Reign of fire, because dragons get your woman hot. I mean, one time I was with this woman and I showed her reign of fire and she got hot.

Which brings me to pollution. Don't get me started.

Anyway, in the end, we made up with the Jamaican. He turned out to be a really cool dude. We played checkers.


Review This Item

Rating:

Comment:




Reviews


Submitted by AJ at 2011-01-26 10:03:56 EST (#)
Rating: 2

I laughed at a lot of lines in this- especially the one about Newsies and Reign of Fire. He said, "Word?" Word. was also really funny.

Submitted by Psygns_of_the_Tymes at 2011-01-26 06:13:16 EST (#)
Rating: -2

Everything you ever wanted to know about pen_name
User id: 13937
Registered on or around: 2004-11-18 23:22:22 GMT
# Messages posted: 194
# Reviews written: 8422
# Times these posts have been reviewed: 4288
# Hits: 262529
Average rating of all messages: 1.17


How have you produced this?

Submitted by czwij at 2011-01-26 06:06:27 EST (#)
Rating: -2

Submitted by Psygns_of_the_Tymes (user info) at 2011-01-22 06:14:17 EST (#)
Ranking: -2

Submitted by Rinny (user info) at 2011-01-22 08:58:28 GMT (#)
Ranking: -2

Stopped at "My homeboy".



so off you fuck.
please!

Submitted by DarthFaded at 2011-01-24 13:43:10 EST (#)
Rating: 0

My God, this is just awful....

Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB at 2011-01-24 13:19:04 EST (#)
Rating: -2

Submitted by Poots at 2011-01-23 08:59:31 EST (#)
Rating: -2

negative two for newbs.


now I will sing, in my very handsome yet sweet sounding baritone, Peter Frampton's I Want You to Show Me the Way


There's ringing in my ears
And no one to relate to 'cept the sea
Who can I believe in
I'm kneeling on the floor
There has to be a force who do I phone
The stars are out and shinning, but all I really want to know...
Oh won't you show me the way
I want you ...show me the way
Well, I can see no reason
You living on your nerves
When someone drops a cup and I submerge
I'm swimming in a circle
I feel I'm going down
There has to be a fool to play my part
Well someone thought of healing, but all I really want to know...
[ From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/p/peter-frampton-lyrics/show-me-the-way-lyrics.html ]
Oh won't you show me the way (everyday)
I want you ...show me the way
I want you day after day
I wonder if I'm dreaming
I feel so unashamed
I can't believe this is happening to me
I watch you when you're sleeping,and then I want to take your love
Oh won't you show me the way (everyday)
I want you ...show me the way
I want you day after day
Oh won't you show me the way (everyday)
I want you ...show me the way
I want you day after day

Submitted by august_sobriquet at 2011-01-22 12:20:27 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Pollution 4-EVA

Submitted by pen_name at 2011-01-22 11:54:43 EST (#)
Rating: -2

Can't believe how bad this is. Get this trash off the front page.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2011-01-22 10:52:51 EST (#)
Rating: -2

You're just as bad as the old guy.

Submitted by HurtByTheSun at 2011-01-22 10:25:57 EST (#)
Rating: -2

Submitted by Procon at 2011-01-22 10:09:32 EST (#)
Rating: -2

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuck.

Submitted by YELLOW-MAN at 2011-01-22 09:22:21 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by mothra001100 at 2011-01-22 08:17:08 EST (#)
Rating: 1

word? word.

Submitted by Habeeb Thomas PhD at 2011-01-22 08:04:47 EST (#)
Rating: 2

GO CHECKERS WOO!!!

Submitted by Sacrilicious at 2011-01-22 06:46:57 EST (#)
Rating: -2

Submitted by skrapmetal at 2011-01-22 06:42:12 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Awful reading, but ISWYDT.

Submitted by FilthyMonkey at 2011-01-22 06:37:50 EST (#)
Rating: -2


*acting very 'British'*

I'm so shocked, I'm lost for words, how could you do something so terrible...

you are an evil, evil, man, shame on you

* end very bad snobby cunt impersonation*


err, was that the response you were expecting?

Fuck off, the Jamaican is still waiting to get his cock sucked, and you seem the perfect man for the job.

Submitted by Psygns_of_the_Tymes at 2011-01-22 06:14:17 EST (#)
Rating: -2

Submitted by Rinny (user info) at 2011-01-22 08:58:28 GMT (#)
Ranking: -2

Stopped at "My homeboy".

Submitted by Danger_Ranger at 2011-01-22 05:58:56 EST (#)
Rating: -2


Submitted by Replen at 2011-01-22 05:13:08 EST (#)
Rating: 1

Submitted by Rinny at 2011-01-22 03:58:28 EST (#)
Rating: -2

Stopped at "My homeboy".

Knew it was going to be shit from then on.


Kirk: What makes you guys so special?

Homer: Because Marge and I have one thing that can never be broken: a
strong marriage built on a solid foundation of routine.

A Milhouse Divided