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Happy Birthday Orphelia!!

Submitted by FALLEN at 2011-01-24 19:35:09 EST
Rating: 1.19 on 54 ratings (54 reviews) (Review this item) (V)

Yeah it’s early but assuming I don’t screw it up and get button happy, it’ll be midnight your time when I post this.

So, another birthday already?

Well at least I keep having them too. I’d hate to ruin this older guy perving on a younger chick thing I got going.

oh..no..
It’s not like a Bubba and younger chick thing, God no!
Pheely is of legal age, I swear.
I saw her ID and everything.

although,
when she puts her hair in plaits and has on that short skirt I like..oh yeah

wait..what...erm...sorry

so, yeah,
Happy Birthday, Pheely.



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Submitted by FALLEN at 2011-01-26 12:35:28 EST (#)
Rating: 0

absolutely, I'm always here

Submitted by orphelia at 2011-01-26 12:32:14 EST (#)
Rating: 0

i will read it in a mo fallen, and i'l be about if you are?
they are in the midlands feb psygns have you seen them before? i have i think they are super.
we're all getting totally punked up

Submitted by Psygns_of_the_Tymes at 2011-01-26 12:13:37 EST (#)
Rating: 2

WHERE & WHEN R U SEEING S-PUNK?

I wanna go see rancid when they tour again.

Submitted by orphelia at 2011-01-26 11:42:46 EST (#)
Rating: 0

i haven't opened any email account in ages but i will then thank you
this was quite enough though!

Submitted by orphelia at 2011-01-26 11:41:30 EST (#)
Rating: 0

august, I don't know why anyone would dine without music, the idea is hideous to me. i do everything to music, i have a bose in my kitchen for when i cook, i have a shower radio for when i wash, i have a car stereo worth more than the car and i have a small radio for when i go to bed. i listen to music when i walk and cycle and even at work they have cheesey pop music on - not my cup of tea and not really appropriate i heard some song such as 'touch me all night i'm yours let's bump and grind' the other day and the toddlers were going mad.

i'm more of an old man pub patron, somewhere you can play darts and pool and dominoes. one of the pubs in my village is ace you go in and you have a conversation with all the locals, it's so nice. and you can take your dog. i'm not one for night clubs though I am going to see S-Punk 7 soon who do dead kennedy and bauhaus covers etc

Submitted by FALLEN at 2011-01-26 11:38:25 EST (#)
Rating: 0

yep,
well E-open, but open just the same.
I think there is music too.

Submitted by orphelia at 2011-01-26 11:29:54 EST (#)
Rating: 0

me open a card??

Submitted by Dervel at 2011-01-26 10:02:24 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Do you eat your meals with a lance?

Submitted by FALLEN at 2011-01-26 10:00:10 EST (#)
Rating: 0

you could read your birthday card.
just a suggestion :)

dont let Drivel get all hoity-toity with his talk of cutlery. He hasn't had a meal yet he didn't use his fingers for or on special occasions, a plastic spork

Submitted by august_sobriquet at 2011-01-26 09:57:46 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Yes, yes, Orphelia is poor and has no taste, but what I want to know is how is "and no music" a positive draw for a pub/cheap restaurant?

What the fuck? "And no music?"

Come and dine with us while being slowly ferried to insanity by the sounds of forks and knives scraping on plates, wet food rolling and mashing in our patron's mouths, the heavy breathing of dozens of overweight greasy losers, and the delightful insights and screeching of other people's dirty ignorant children!

Not to mention, the opportunity to eavesdrop on the scandalous and exciting lives of our underpaid and overworked staff!

We DON'T PLAY MUSIC!

Submitted by Dervel at 2011-01-26 09:37:00 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Too fancy for your tastes, what with all that cutlery and placemats and stuff?

Submitted by orphelia at 2011-01-26 09:31:16 EST (#)
Rating: 0

i go to neither. i wouldn't know.

i don't patronise those sorts of places

Submitted by Dervel at 2011-01-26 09:21:32 EST (#)
Rating: 2

I didn't know they had that many high chairs in there.

Submitted by orphelia at 2011-01-26 09:21:16 EST (#)
Rating: 0

that was a joke

i stayed in and sat pressing refresh on uber and facebook waiting for my friends to wish me well

whatever i did it sure beats burning my kwik save meal for one in my sub-standard somy microwave, followed by a recorded episode of question time and an early night with farmers weekly :P

Submitted by orphelia at 2011-01-26 09:17:12 EST (#)
Rating: 2

:( I hate wetherspoons

went to yates's instead

Submitted by Dervel at 2011-01-26 09:13:04 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Happy birthday, I hope you had a great time celebrating it with a fancy dinner out in your local Weatherspoons.

Submitted by RoadSong at 2011-01-26 03:29:35 EST (#)
Rating: 2


Submitted by Wildman at 2011-01-26 03:10:51 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by YourNameHere (user info) at 2011-01-25 15:30:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0

all that is necessary for pedos to triumph is for good people to remain silent

NEVER AGAIN!
^^^^^^^^^^^^















Submitted by willartstorg at 2011-01-25 19:17:49 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Dipshit, two below.

Submitted by august_sobriquet at 2011-01-25 16:04:59 EST (#)
Rating: 2

HARPY BIRTHDAY!!

Submitted by YourNameHere at 2011-01-25 15:30:58 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by willartstorg (user info) at 2011-01-25 15:00:41 EST (#)
Ranking: -1

Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2011-01-25 01:19:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

I'm guessing the majority would have prefered this to be a RIP post
:(

Thanks though FALLEN, you filthy old perv

ps The bubba joke is getting so lame, like a sorry stand-up who relies on mother-in-law jokes and calls black people 'darkies'. Maybe it's time to pick on someone new. (Not me.)
==================
Shhh!! They look better with all that lame dripping off their chins.




bubba likes to whisper shhhh and picture stuff dripping off guys' chins

we can never stop reminding the world of bubba's lust for hairless cock
just as simon wiesenthal hunted nazis till the day he died
all that is necessary for pedos to triumph is for good people to remain silent

NEVER AGAIN!

Submitted by willartstorg at 2011-01-25 15:00:41 EST (#)
Rating: -1

Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2011-01-25 01:19:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

I'm guessing the majority would have prefered this to be a RIP post
:(

Thanks though FALLEN, you filthy old perv

ps The bubba joke is getting so lame, like a sorry stand-up who relies on mother-in-law jokes and calls black people 'darkies'. Maybe it's time to pick on someone new. (Not me.)
==================
Shhh!! They look better with all that lame dripping off their chins.

Submitted by S.I. Co. at 2011-01-25 14:34:04 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Don't forget Poots, it's 3!

Submitted by orphelia at 2011-01-25 14:27:58 EST (#)
Rating: 2

DAMMIT i thought i was popular and then i realised it was just you two pillocks
thanks

:-)

Submitted by S.I. Co. at 2011-01-25 13:30:34 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Bottom line:

sicosemen > silvrwolf

Cool, I get it now. Thanks for breaking that down into laymen for me.

Seriously though, I just got finished lunch and Yocco's has these weird hot dogs with this weird chili and I would kill for one.

Carry on.

Submitted by SilvrWolf at 2011-01-25 13:15:06 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Let's see, if I dumb it down a bit:
Insignificance = x
Irrelevance = y
HumorValue = z
Suck = y^2

so,

z(xy / y^2) = cyberspacevalue

Since z is always = 0, your cyberspacevalue is = 0

It's much more complicated than that, really, but I wouldn't want your hair to burst into flames. There are formulas and algorithms involved that require more education than a chemistry class and an AAS from a community college. You know, baby steps.


Yocco's looks fucking tops.
ROAD TRIP!

Submitted by S.I. Co. at 2011-01-25 12:34:36 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Seriously, get me a Yocco's http://www.yoccos.com/

Submitted by S.I. Co. at 2011-01-25 12:26:52 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Damn, that's like being the corn in the shit. I'm insignificant and irrelevant and you're quantifying that? Say, how MUCH exactly is that, you know in quantifiable terms, TW?

Submitted by SilvrWolf at 2011-01-25 12:18:46 EST (#)
Rating: 2

No and no. I'm here solely to quantify your irrelevance and insignificance, SI.

Submitted by S.I. Co. at 2011-01-25 11:59:18 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Is it possible for you to STFU or GTFO?

Submitted by SilvrWolf at 2011-01-25 10:48:05 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Is it possible to have an embolism while trying to post quasi-relevant links?

Submitted by Poots at 2011-01-25 10:35:54 EST (#)
Rating: 0

I guess I am doing a form of e pooping as well.

Submitted by Poots at 2011-01-25 10:34:55 EST (#)
Rating: 0

just kidding. Trying to get the links I provided to work without that stupid message that says the sentences and words are too long.

Submitted by Poots at 2011-01-25 10:34:07 EST (#)
Rating: 0

pooping.

Submitted by FALLEN at 2011-01-25 10:21:31 EST (#)
Rating: 0

POOTS!

stop,
take a deep breath
now then..
wtf are you doing?

Submitted by Poots at 2011-01-25 10:14:11 EST (#)
Rating: 2

it does work if you copy the first part of the url and then paste it to the url bar thingy and then do the same for the rest of the message.

FUCK!


Submitted by Poots at 2011-01-25 10:11:56 EST (#)
Rating: 2

fucking fail.

Submitted by Poots at 2011-01-25 10:11:29 EST (#)
Rating: 2

sus penis

cock suidae

jimmy even-toed ungulate

http://translate.google.com/#en|la| dick%20pig

if you hit the listen button at the bottom the translator lady will say it.


http://translate.google.com/#en|la| trout%20condom

http://translate.google.com/#en|la| eel%20fucker


http://translate.google.com/#en|la| I%20once%20met%20a%20woman%20 from%20kathmandu.%20%20She%2 0had%20the%20biggest%20penis%20I%20have%20ever%20seen.

http://translate.google.com/#en|la|The%20human %20torch%20was% 20denied%20a%20 bank%20loan.






http://translate.google.com/#en|la| %22Waiter! %20%20There%20 is%20a%20butt% 20in%20my%20soup. %20What%27s%20it%20doing%20in%20 there%3F%22%0A%0A%22The%20buttstroke%22


http://translate.google.com/#en|la|Happy%20 birthday%20Orphelia

http://translate.google.com/#en|la|Happy%20 birthday%20Orphelia

http://translate.google.com/#en|la|Happy%20 birthday%20Orphelia

http://translate.google.com/#en|la|Happy%20 birthday%20dick%20pig

WOAH!

http://translate.google.com/#ja|ja|dick% 20pig

http://translate.google.com/#ja|ja|happy%20 birthday%20dick% 20pig

*crosses fingers*
FLYING FUCKACHOO BUTT SPRAY!

It didn't work. I hope this works.

Submitted by Poots at 2011-01-25 10:08:30 EST (#)
Rating: 2


Submitted by Poots at 2011-01-25 09:01:42 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2011-01-25 08:11:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0

Happy birthday, dick pig!

Submitted by stone8946 at 2011-01-25 08:43:48 EST (#)
Rating: -2

I love that show.

Submitted by S.I. Co. at 2011-01-25 08:11:07 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Fallen, still holding on the last majestic breath of unicorn air hoping that if he's nice enough to an aging sow, that someday, someday he might get a side boob shot through email.

Just kidding of course. We all know that Orphelia is disgusting and Fallen is desperate already.

That's why I love them so!

Happy birthday, dick pig!

Submitted by TuTs at 2011-01-25 07:40:17 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Happy Birthday Slutface! and here I was thinking uber couldn't creep me out anymore... Fallen you weirdo.

Submitted by FALLEN at 2011-01-25 07:30:09 EST (#)
Rating: 0

you know I have picture issues with my computer, otherwise I would have.
I was thinking of putting a party hat on Violet but my paint skilz=fail.

sorry about the bubba but I figured if I didnt include him he might have gotten ambitious and posted his OWN birthday post.
Then you would have seen creepy in it's purest form.

Submitted by orphelia at 2011-01-25 05:46:27 EST (#)
Rating: 2

lol


Submitted by F.J.Bell at 2011-01-25 04:27:17 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Wow. That was incredibly creepy and made me feel a bit sick.



Happy birthday dollface.

Submitted by BranDo at 2011-01-25 04:02:04 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Happy B-day Orph!

Or: Van Harte Gefeliciteerd!

Submitted by Psygns_of_the_Tymes at 2011-01-25 03:44:19 EST (#)
Rating: 1

Happy birthday orph. When's it due? Oh I'm sorry my bad, I just assumed that you had another kid each year. Like I say, my bad.


....errrr.... Here, have a present.




Sorry, I lied. There is no present.

Submitted by rob_berg at 2011-01-25 03:04:44 EST (#)
Rating: 2


Happy Birthday Orphie.

Submitted by orphelia at 2011-01-25 01:22:43 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Jesus, FALLEN, not even a picture.

Also Happy Birthday Erosion! And Robbie Burns!And erm Alicia Keys lol.

Submitted by orphelia at 2011-01-25 01:19:34 EST (#)
Rating: 2

I'm guessing the majority would have prefered this to be a RIP post
:(

Thanks though FALLEN, you filthy old perv

ps The bubba joke is getting so lame, like a sorry stand-up who relies on mother-in-law jokes and calls black people 'darkies'. Maybe it's time to pick on someone new. (Not me.)

Submitted by pen_name at 2011-01-24 21:53:24 EST (#)
Rating: 0

I hate birthday posts. They are so kamayamaya gay.

Submitted by SilvrWolf at 2011-01-24 21:21:18 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Yay!!!


...and shit


Happy b-day!

Submitted by FALLEN at 2011-01-24 20:23:13 EST (#)
Rating: 0

well, to be honest.
she makes me wear the skirt more times than not.


Aw, Dad, you've done a lot of great things, but you're a very old man, and
old people are useless.

-- Homer Simpson
Homer the Vigilante