It'll Be A Cold Day in Hoth: a Poots contest entrySubmitted by FALLEN at 2011-02-04 16:52:34 EST
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“General Veers sir, we should be at the rebel base shortly. The forward assault troops are meeting with little resistance from the Rebel scum.”
A soft thud echoed from somewhere below them.
“I see they can not penetrate the shields of our walkers” mused the general. The Imperial forces were easily out gunning the fleeing Rebels even with the loss of the element of surprise. That idiot Admiral Ozzel came out of hyperspace too soon and allowed them time to begin evacuation, but soon they would be crushed.
“WHAT THE MOTHER FUCK.. hooooork, hurrrrr…. WAS THAT SHIT ALL ABOUT?!?”
Echoed out of the turbo lift as Darth Vader entered the bridge.
General Veers replied, “What shit do you mean, Lord Vader?”
“That BOOM and then the shaking …hooooork, hurrrrr…didn’t you feel it up here? I was on the lift and then everything shook all to hell..hoooooork, hurrrrr.”
“It was an impact of the blasters from the Rebel snowspeeders, they can’t damage us, our shields are too strong.”
Not really listening Vader continued. “How hard is it…hoooooork,hurrrrr… to keep an At-At steady? I’ve got hot chocolate all over the front of my armor now.”
Grabbing a towel from a near by Storm trooper. “Damn it! It’s all on my buttons and stuff. Get me a wet towel and another hot chocolate, Venti, with soy whipped cream.”
“General, hoooooork,hurrrrr..do you how important it is I look imposing when we get to the Rebel base?... Hoooooork, hurrrrr…..how frightening am I gonna look like this?”
“I..I’m sure it was an isolated incident sir.” The General stammered trying to appease the angered Sith Lord.
“ooh look guys it’s Darth Vader, we’re all fucked now, oh wait what’s on his armor? Is that coco? LOL”
he said acting out the scenario at the base.
“Fuck these thing stick like ass! Hoooooork,hurrrrr” Vader bemoaned as he levitated the last bits of marshmallows from his mask using the Force.
“Here is your drink, sir.” Said a storm trooper and then quickly left the area.
“Now General ..hooooork,hurrrr..if we may proceed to the base, I will join the 501st squadron in the ground assault myself.
“Yes my Lord, we will be there in minutes.”
Vader turned and entered the turbolift to the ready room. Another, louder, BOOM echoed throughout the ship, shaking it violently just as the doors were closing.
“GOD DAMN IT! Hoooork,hurrrrr”