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It'll Be A Cold Day in Hoth: a Poots contest entry

Submitted by FALLEN at 2011-02-04 16:52:34 EST
Rating: 1.05 on 34 ratings (34 reviews) (Review this item) (V)

“General Veers sir, we should be at the rebel base shortly. The forward assault troops are meeting with little resistance from the Rebel scum.”

A soft thud echoed from somewhere below them.

“I see they can not penetrate the shields of our walkers” mused the general. The Imperial forces were easily out gunning the fleeing Rebels even with the loss of the element of surprise. That idiot Admiral Ozzel came out of hyperspace too soon and allowed them time to begin evacuation, but soon they would be crushed.

“WHAT THE MOTHER FUCK.. hooooork, hurrrrr…. WAS THAT SHIT ALL ABOUT?!?”
Echoed out of the turbo lift as Darth Vader entered the bridge.

General Veers replied, “What shit do you mean, Lord Vader?”

“That BOOM and then the shaking …hooooork, hurrrrr…didn’t you feel it up here? I was on the lift and then everything shook all to hell..hoooooork, hurrrrr.”

“It was an impact of the blasters from the Rebel snowspeeders, they can’t damage us, our shields are too strong.”

Not really listening Vader continued. “How hard is it…hoooooork,hurrrrr… to keep an At-At steady? I’ve got hot chocolate all over the front of my armor now.”

Grabbing a towel from a near by Storm trooper. “Damn it! It’s all on my buttons and stuff. Get me a wet towel and another hot chocolate, Venti, with soy whipped cream.”

“General, hoooooork,hurrrrr..do you how important it is I look imposing when we get to the Rebel base?... Hoooooork, hurrrrr…..how frightening am I gonna look like this?”

“I..I’m sure it was an isolated incident sir.” The General stammered trying to appease the angered Sith Lord.

“ooh look guys it’s Darth Vader, we’re all fucked now, oh wait what’s on his armor? Is that coco? LOL”
he said acting out the scenario at the base.
“Fuck these thing stick like ass! Hoooooork,hurrrrr” Vader bemoaned as he levitated the last bits of marshmallows from his mask using the Force.

“Here is your drink, sir.” Said a storm trooper and then quickly left the area.

“Now General ..hooooork,hurrrr..if we may proceed to the base, I will join the 501st squadron in the ground assault myself.

“Yes my Lord, we will be there in minutes.”

Vader turned and entered the turbolift to the ready room. Another, louder, BOOM echoed throughout the ship, shaking it violently just as the doors were closing.

“GOD DAMN IT! Hoooork,hurrrrr”



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Reviews


Submitted by lostinwonderland at 2011-02-17 23:15:18 EST (#)
Rating: 2

I'm finally here! Haven't posted anything on here yet... I'm a little afraid. Still trying to figure this site out. :)

Submitted by YourNameHere at 2011-02-15 15:15:46 EST (#)
Rating: -2

FUCK THE RULES FATMAN ITS UBERSITE

Submitted by SgtHartman at 2011-02-09 10:38:56 EST (#)
Rating: 2

HAHA this was awesome.

I believe I get the gist of this competition, I will do my best to put something down.

Submitted by orphelia at 2011-02-08 11:03:10 EST (#)
Rating: 2

*puts cat amongst some scabby looking pigeons*

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

but see, i did rate this.

Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB at 2011-02-07 11:52:28 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by Poots at 2011-02-06 14:35:13 EST (#)
Rating: 2

don't be smokin crazy, filthymonkey.

I would be far too busy working for robot chicken if I worked for robot chicken.

a boc boc boc

a boc boc boc

a boc boc biggie boc boc.

BEOOOOOOC!

Submitted by FilthyMonkey at 2011-02-06 14:12:24 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2011-02-04 19:55:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

SO Robot Chicken!

-----------------------

<paranoia> Poots works for Robot chicken and wants more script ideas <paranoia/>



Submitted by Poots at 2011-02-06 08:57:32 EST (#)
Rating: 2

wonder why this is rated so lowly.

It deserves so much more even though it doesn't matter.

Submitted by DasHeer at 2011-02-05 16:56:55 EST (#)
Rating: 2

ooh look guys it’s Darth Vader, we’re all fucked now, oh wait what’s on his armor? Is that coco? LOL

--------------------------

ROFLCOPTER

Submitted by Poots at 2011-02-05 11:09:07 EST (#)
Rating: 2

I was reading this while watching empire and he said, wedge was it,"Good..shot..Jenson" in his choppy encouraging way.

Submitted by Poots at 2011-02-05 11:06:54 EST (#)
Rating: 2

I should have said:

The first transport is away....the first transport is away..


It was dumb of me....I realize that now...I'm going to go poop pills now.


aces mate....

thank you.

Submitted by mothra001100 at 2011-02-05 08:10:34 EST (#)
Rating: 2

very enjoyable

Submitted by ridiculous at 2011-02-05 01:29:03 EST (#)
Rating: 2

HAHAHAHA Please write more of this!

Submitted by skrapmetal at 2011-02-04 22:33:27 EST (#)
Rating: 2

"hooooork, hurrrrr"

Submitted by Oven at 2011-02-04 22:08:38 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Not since I was a wee tyke, sir.

Submitted by Poots at 2011-02-04 22:01:05 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2011-02-04 21:52:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0

Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2011-02-04 21:44:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0

Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2011-02-04 21:43:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0

Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2011-02-04 19:43:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0

XXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXX XXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXX XXXXXX XXXXXXX XXXXXXX XXXX XXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXX XXXXXXXX XXXXXXXX XXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXX XXXXXXX XXXXXXXX XXXXXX XXXXX XXXXXX XXXXX XXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXX XXXXXXXX XXXXXXXX XXXXXX XXXXXXX XXXXX XXXXX XXXXXX XXXXX XXXXXXXXXX XXXXXX XXXXXXX XXXXXXXXX XXX XXXXXX XXXXXXXX XXXXXXX XXXX XXXXX XXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXX XXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXX XXXXXXX XXXXXXXX XXXXXXX XXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXX XXXXXX XXXXXX XXXXXXXX XXXXX

Submitted by willartstorg at 2011-02-04 20:55:35 EST (#)
Rating: -2

Submitted by Oven (user info) at 2011-02-04 20:44:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

Lactose intolerance is something to which I can relate.
===============
Not a tittie sucker, huh??

Submitted by Oven at 2011-02-04 20:44:09 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Lactose intolerance is something to which I can relate.

Submitted by willartstorg at 2011-02-04 19:58:23 EST (#)
Rating: -2

no

Submitted by Yozz at 2011-02-04 19:55:36 EST (#)
Rating: 2

SO Robot Chicken!

LOVED it!

Submitted by RoadSong at 2011-02-04 19:54:27 EST (#)
Rating: 2

“How hard is it…hoooooork,hurrrrr… to keep an At-At steady? I’ve got hot chocolate all over the front of my armor now.”

Grabbing a towel from a near by Storm trooper. “Damn it! It’s all on my buttons and stuff. Get me a wet towel and another hot chocolate, Venti, with soy whipped cream.”



Auto +2 soy whipped cream

Submitted by Poots at 2011-02-04 19:40:25 EST (#)
Rating: 2

me either but it beats the god damned alternative.

Submitted by Poots at 2011-02-04 19:38:54 EST (#)
Rating: 2

anybody know Shyriiwook?

Submitted by willartstorg at 2011-02-04 19:23:52 EST (#)
Rating: -2

Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2011-02-04 19:19:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

woops.


Yes, even though it doesn't matter.

==========
See my point, fartman? You will do what you wish, regardless of others' ratings. Fucking asshole.

Submitted by Poots at 2011-02-04 19:19:04 EST (#)
Rating: 2

woops.


I don't think it matters but this deserves nothing less in my opinion. Yes, even though it doesn't matter.

Submitted by Poots at 2011-02-04 19:17:40 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Fatmantpk, can you do better than this load of awesome?

If so, I think you should.

Submitted by willartstorg at 2011-02-04 19:14:49 EST (#)
Rating: -2

Poots rates these, so this -2 -2- -2- -2- 2 doesn't mean jack.

Submitted by FATMANTPK at 2011-02-04 19:04:58 EST (#)
Rating: -1

Submitted by Poots at 2011-02-04 19:00:51 EST (#)
Rating: 2

I saw that commercial on the news today, Shlongy.

PLEASE JOIN MY UBERNERD WEIRD THINGY!

Submitted by Shlongy at 2011-02-04 17:57:17 EST (#)
Rating: -2


Submitted by Poots at 2011-02-04 17:49:41 EST (#)
Rating: 2

No homo.

Submitted by Poots at 2011-02-04 17:47:31 EST (#)
Rating: 2

3rd times the charm! Not that the first 2 weren't just as awesome...

This is no cave.

Submitted by Poots at 2011-02-04 17:37:56 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Good shot Janson!

Submitted by Shlongy at 2011-02-04 17:14:07 EST (#)
Rating: -2

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7zWNJHS9PBE


WAY better Star Wars feature.


Well, I acquired it legally, you can be sure of that.

-- Homer Simpson
Treehouse of Horror VI